The wind howled through the frozen pass, whipping loose snow across my path as I trudged forward. The towering silhouette of the Ice Mage's fortress loomed ahead, jagged and menacing, like a frozen monument to arrogance.
I was getting close now, there was no turning back. Pretty soon it would just be me and Elsa, in a fight to the death.
The thought gnawed at the back of my mind, and for once, I actually stopped. I had been pushing forward like a madman, cutting through enemies, stacking up loot, and throwing skill points around like candy at a parade. But I still had no real idea where I stood.
Hell, I didn't even have a class.
"System…? What are my stats?" I called out, half-expecting nothing to happen.
A pause. Then, text flickered into my vision.
[System Inquiry: Player Status]
"Request Confirmed. Compiling current standing..."
[ERROR: Class Undefined]
[Assigning Performance-Based Ranking...]
"Request Confirmed. Compiling current standing..."
At least the damn thing was listening to this time.
The usual HUD elements appeared, but something was different. Instead of raw numbers and stat values, the system ranked my abilities in categories.
"Your attributes have been ranked based on current performance and equipment."
[Strength, Iron: You have weak child-like noodle-arms and any heavy weapon use and physical endurance would be laughable at best.]
Well fuck you too. What the hell was this?
[Wisdom, Bronze: Your understanding of magic is about as deep as a kiddie pool. If someone hits you with a spell, expect to react like a medieval peasant seeing fireworks for the first time.]
Okay, I mean sure, I didn't alot many if any points into Wisdom, but that feels harsh.
[Intelligence, Silver: Congratulations! You have some brain activity. You grasp the basics, but if you think you're a genius, I have bad news—you're basically a guy who knows how to open a settings menu, but based on what we've seen so far, even that is a great accomplishment.]
My brain is fine, you jerk. Alright, I'm starting to get this, you just want to mock me, don't you?
[Charisma, Silver: You have just enough charm to occasionally convince someone you're not a complete moron. But in a real negotiation? You're getting hustled, scammed, and probably sold a bridge. Thrum laughs behind your back every time you leave his shop.]
Somehow, this one hits a little too close to home. Thrum did fleece me, that bastard… Fine, you win this one system.
[Consitution, Gold: I'll admit it—you can take a few hits. You're not a walking fortress, but at least you won't fold like wet paper at the first sign of trouble.]
I'll take it, and you'll suck it system! All those time's I got my ass kicked gave me what I needed to show you I won't just roll over and die!
[Agility, Diamond: Well, well, look at you! If nothing else, you can run like your life depends on it. Probably because it does.]
Ha…Ha…Ha… This doesn't threaten me, it doesn't make me feel small. I know you're impressed. I'm going to level this out of spite alone. You can't be bothered to tell me how great am I am when my stat says Diamond. DIAMOND?! That's an incredible accomplishment, and I will not let you take that away from me.
[Assessing Sub-Stats]
[Assessment Complete]
Wait, sub-stats? Hold up!--
[Encumbrance Capacity, Iron: You are pathetically weak. A toddler could outlift you. Maybe consider a career in professional feather-carrying.
This is absurd. I could easily outlift a toddler. Wait, no, I could outlift so much more. Why are you like this?!
[Health Regeneration, Bronze: You have the natural healing capacity of a day-old sandwich. Your vampiric effect is doing its best, but even that's not enough to fix how fragile you are.]
Vampiric healing is plenty, I survived because of vampiric healing. If you come anywhere near me, I'll show you how much I can heal! Fucking sandwich… What does that even mean?
[Magic Resistance, Bronze: Hope you like getting cooked, frozen, or turned into a toad. A stiff breeze of mana will flatten you.]
What? You haven't shown anything that uses mana or magic–Fuck… That's right, Elsa… I'm screwed aren't I? How do I increase this?
[Defense (Physical Resistance), Silver: You can handle a punch slightly better than an average street rat, but a real warrior will break you in half like an old chair.]
No, tell me about the magic resistance! I have the HP to take hits, but tell me how to resist magic!
[Persuasian/Speech, Silver: You're just convincing enough to avoid getting laughed out of the room, but let's be honest—you're not swindling anyone. Hope you like paying full price.]
…
[Attack Power, Gold: Fast? Yes. Deadly? Sure. But if you were actually strong, you'd be leaving cratered corpses instead of neat stab wounds.]
Yeah, yeah, who needs to hit hard when you can kill with a crit? Hahahahaha, you can't even fault me on this!
[Fall Resistance, Gold: You won't die immediately if you fall, but let's not test that theory from too high up, because I think we both know how that worked last time, yeah?]
Oh, ho, ho, ho, real funny. That was the only reason I got to where I was, and I SURVIVED! Another suck it from James to the system!
[Stealth/Detection, Platinum: Fine. I'll admit it—you're a ghost in the wind. If someone actually sees you, they probably deserve an award.]
Thank you. That was actually pretty nice, so thank you.
[Dodge/Reaction Speed, Platinum: Reflexes like a cracked-out squirrel. You can dodge just about anything… unless it's an AoE attack, in which case: RIP]
AoE? Wait, so there's AoE? Okay, okay, so that's something to worry about. I can keep that in mind when I fight Elsa over there.
I stood there in awe, knee-deep in snow as I tried to take in everything that the system had provided me. I wanted to keep going, I wanted to kill Elsa, I wanted to do a lot of shit, but I guess I needed to start here.
I exhaled sharply, my breath forming a thick cloud in the frigid air, and stared at the snarky, borderline abusive system messages, blinking twice.
"Wow. That was… unnecessarily aggressive."
The system didn't respond. Probably because it was too busy laughing at me in binary code.
I rubbed my temples. Alright. Takeaways.
Agility, Stealth, and Dodging were my saving grace.
I hit fast, but not hard.
My defense was mediocre at best.
Magic could absolutely wreck me.
I had the upper-body strength of a malnourished pigeon.
I sighed and crossed my arms.
"System. Why the hell are you like this?"
[System Response:]
"You asked for an evaluation. I provided one."
"Yeah, but you didn't have to be a dick about it."
[Acknowledged.]
"Noted for future interactions. James is a snowflake. Will try not to upset his tender feelings in the future."
Uuuuuuggggggghhhhhhhhh. Whatever.
"So, system, what am I overall? Is there a way to condense this into an overall ranking?"
If the system wanted to mock me, I'd just have to prove it wrong.
I cracked my knuckles, took one last look at my rankings, and set my sights back on the Ice Mage's fortress.
Let's see how funny the system thinks I am when I'm standing on top of a pile of corpses.
"A player's overall rank is based on their combination of raw power, adaptability, survivability, and versatility. A strong player isn't just a powerhouse—they have to be able to survive, strategize, and take down a variety of enemies."
"Calculating combined effectiveness…"_
[Evaluation Complete.]
[Lethality: You can kill quickly, but only if you land your hits. Your lack of raw strength means that if someone tougher survives your first assault, you might as well start writing your will.]
[Survivability: You dodge well, but the moment something actually hits you? Good luck. Magic will melt you faster than butter in a furnace.]
[Utility: Speed? Exceptional. Stealth? Nearly perfect. You can go anywhere, but good luck carrying anything heavier than a grocery bag.]
[Overall Adaptability: You adapt fast, but your limited skill set means certain encounters are still hard counters against you. No amount of dodging will save you from a firestorm.]
[Risk Factor (How Dangerous You Are to Others): Your unpredictability, speed, and stealth make you a nightmare for unprepared enemies. However, anyone who sees you coming has a decent shot at sending you back to the title screen.]
Assigning Overall Standing…
[Gold-Platinum Hybrid]: You're dangerous but flawed. You are fast, efficient, and hard to catch, but you have crippling weaknesses that smarter opponents will exploit. Against the average player? You're a death sentence. Against a real pro? You're a glass cannon waiting to be shattered.]
I stared at the final ranking assessment, rolling my shoulders.
"Gold-Platinum Hybrid."
It sounded good. Real good. But the way the system phrased it made it clear—I had gaps.
"Alright, system," I muttered. "So if I want to reach Diamond or higher, what do I need?"
[System Response:]
[Increased durability, higher adaptability against magic-based threats, and either raw strength or additional skill versatility.]
So I needed to get tankier, find a way to fight magic, and hit harder. Alright, whatever, i'll get stronger however I need to, but I'll do it my own way.
The cold air bit at my skin as I stared at my Gold-Platinum Hybrid ranking. It was good—but not good enough. If I wanted to reach the top, I needed to know where I stood.
I narrowed my eyes. "System, can you list the general ranking of the top 10 players?"
[Processing Request...]
[Displaying Current Top 10 Players by General Performance Tier.]
#1 … (Class: N/A): Gold-Platinum Hybrid
#2 Crimson Reaver, Berserker: Gold
#3 Specter, Duelist: Gold-Silver Hybrid
#4 Graveborn, Necromancer: Silver-Platinum Hybrid
#5 Wraithcaller, Summoner: Silver
#6 Titan's Bane, Knight: Gold
#7 Null, Rogue: Silver-Gold Hybrid
#8 VexSilver, Assassin: Silver
#9 Iron Fist, Monk: Iron-Silver Hybrid
#10 Echofang, Ranger: Silver
I squinted at the rankings.
"I'm number one, yet I don't even have a class, hell I don't even have a name. Meanwhile, half these guys have clear-cut strengths."
"System. How the hell am I ahead of these people?"
[System Response:]
"Your performance exceeds structured class limitations. Your unpredictability and speed make you an outlier."
"Right. So basically, I'm breaking the game."
[Acknowledged.]
I grinned.
"Good."