Chapter 55:
– Blake Himejima –
The spiral staircase curled deeper into the earth. The air grew cooler and damper with every step, carrying a mineral scent that reminded me vaguely of caves I'd explored as a kid in upstate New York with one of my less-shitty foster families.
Except this cave glowed.
Holy shit. This really is like a video game.
I hit the bottom of the staircase and stepped out onto Floor 1. The ceiling rose maybe twenty feet overhead, ribbed with more glowing crystals, and the floor beneath my boots was packed dirt streaked with older, darker stains I decided not to think about too hard.
I rolled my shoulders, cracked my neck, and started walking.
The first few minutes were quiet. I passed a couple of parties of adventurers heading back up, most of them sweaty and grinning, a few of them bloody but still upright. One of them, a younger kid with a bandage wrapped around his head, gave me a thumbs-up as he went by. I returned it because it seemed rude not to.
I'd been walking for maybe ten minutes when I heard the first snarl.
I stopped in the middle of a wider passage, tilted my head, and waited. The sound came again from a side tunnel on my left.
Here we go.
Four of them boiled out of the tunnel in a stampede of tiny furious bodies. Ugly little bastards, scrappy green skin stretched too tight over knobby bones, yellow eyes that bulged too big for their faces, mouths full of crooked teeth. They were maybe three feet tall each, and they carried crude iron daggers and chipped rocks, and the second they saw me they started shrieking and charging like I owed them money.
Little did I know, they owed me money—or rather they were gonna be my money. I watched them come for about a second and a half.
Then I raised a single finger and let a lazy smirk cross my face. "Let there be lightning…."
Holy thunder erupted from my fingertip. It caught the lead goblin square in the chest and then chained to the one behind it before it forked to the other two. A solid multikill. When it was done there was nothing left of any of them except four small piles of dust and four glowing red crystals lying in a rough line on the cavern floor.
The air smelled faintly of ozone and burnt meat.
Well. That was easy.
I walked over and crouched down, scooping the crystals into my palm. They were warm and faintly vibrating, about the size of walnuts. I held them up to the light for a second, just to appreciate the absurdity of my situation, and then opened the little pocket of space Akeno had taught me to make. The crystals vanished with a soft ripple, tucked safely into my storage space.
I stood up, dusted off my hands, and kept walking.
The next hour blurred.
I found more goblins. Two kobolds with bristly brown fur and too many teeth. A lone goblin that tried to ambush me from a side passage and caught a bolt of lightning through its open mouth before it finished the lunge. An entire nesting chamber of goblins huddled around a fire that I lit up like a Christmas tree from the doorway. Each time, I pointed, lightning forked, and a new pile of ash hit the stone. I stopped bothering to aim. I just thought about where I wanted the electricity to go, and it went.
This is what kills adventurers? Really?
I caught myself before the thought got too smug. Tsunade's voice echoed in the back of my skull, calm and flat, the way she sounded right before she put me through a wall during training. "Pride is a good way to end up a smear on someone's sandal, Blake. You're not strong because you're strong. You're strong because the right people spent months beating that into your body."
By the time I hit the staircase down to Floor 2, I had a small fortune rattling around in my storage space.Floor 2 was bigger, more open, with higher ceilings and longer sightlines. More adventurers were working this floor.
I kept my distance from them, stuck to the quieter passages, and kept picking off monsters wherever I found them.
I walked up to the wide stone archway that led down to Floor 3, looked at the staircase descending into darker territory, and stopped. Hestia was waiting for me outside the dungeon and didn't want me going deeper. I took a step back from the archway and leaned against the cavern wall. I'd kill a few more monsters on the way back up and call it a day. That was when I heard the voices from the Floor 3 stairway.
I pushed off the wall and stood up straighter.
The party emerged from the stairwell one by one, and I swept my eyes across them in the same half second my brain was still cataloguing threats.
A short figure came first, barely taller than Hestia, with sandy blonde hair and sharp blue eyes. He wore polished armor and carried himself like every inch of his small body was load-bearing muscle. A spear rested casually against his shoulder. He is obviously the leader.
Behind him came a blonde girl with golden eyes and a thin silver sword at her hip.
Two tanned amazons followed, nearly identical, one beaming and swinging a huge weapon over her shoulder like it weighed nothing, the other sharper and more watchful with her arms crossed.
A younger elf girl came after them with pale hair and a nervous expression, mostly hiding behind the amazons.
A silver haired guy with wolf ears shouldered through next.
And finally I saw the last member of the party.
She looks like an epic fantasy elf princess. Was all I could think when I saw the obvious elven mage of the party.
The entire party froze for some reason.
The elf's pale cheeks flushed a shade of pink that clashed beautifully with her hair. Her green eyes narrowed at me. Her lips parted like she was about to say something and couldn't decide what.
I ran the last five seconds back through my head.
Did I say that out loud? I said that out loud, didn't I…?
My senses told me every single one of them was operating on a completely different tier from anyone I'd seen since arriving in Orario. Not one of them was on my level, to be clear, but compared to the random adventurers I'd watched come and go from the Dungeon entrance? They might as well have been a different species. The little guy up front was the strongest, clear as day. The elf with the staff was a close second, in a totally different way. The blonde swordswoman was third, and the two Amazons were neck and neck just behind her. The werewolf and the younger elf were the weakest of the bunch, and they were still stronger than anyone else I'd seen today.
"Riveriaaaa!" One of the Amazons, the one with shorter hair, broke the silence with a whoop of laughter, elbowing her sister hard enough in the ribs to stagger her. "Riveria, he thinks you're pretty! He thinks you're a princess! Did you hear that, Tione, did you hear him?"
"I heard him, Tiona, the whole Dungeon heard him," the other Amazon said, smirking as she rubbed her side. "Look, she's blushing. Riveria, look at me. Are you blushing?"
"I am not blushing," the older elf, apparently named Riveria, said in a cool, measured voice that did not match the color on her cheeks at all.
"You're absolutely blushing," Tiona crowed. "Hey, pretty boy, do it again! Say something else nice to her!"
I held up both hands and gave Riveria my most apologetic expression. "I'm sorry," I said, rubbing the back of my neck. "I didn't mean to say that out loud. It just kind of slipped out. If I made you uncomfortable, I apologize."
Riveria did not respond. She didn't look at me, either. She shifted her gaze pointedly to a spot somewhere on the cavern wall behind my left shoulder, and her chin came up maybe a quarter of an inch, and the faint pink across her cheekbones refused to fade.
Tiona apparently noticed the same thing, because she lost her entire shit. "She's not answering!" Tiona howled, clutching her sister's arm for support. "Tione, she's not answering him! The Nine Hells Princess, speechless! He broke her! Pretty boy broke Riveria with one sentence!"
"Tiona, shut up," Riveria said, with considerably less composure than her first attempt.
"Tiona, keep going!" Tione countered, grinning. "I want to see how red she can get."
The younger elf's mouth had fallen open, and she was staring at Riveria with the expression of a disciple watching her master trip on a rug.
The blonde swordswoman had not moved. Her gold eyes were still fixed on me, unblinking, and her head was tilted very slightly to one side like she was studying me for some reason. I could sense a lot of intensity behind her blank expression.
I found that a lot more concerning than the teasing from the Amazons.
Before I could decide how to feel about it, the werewolf was in my face.
He'd crossed the distance between us fast, and I had to consciously not react the way my training wanted me to react, which would have involved his spine and the far wall.
Instead I just stood there and let him plant a clawed finger in the center of my chest and shove. I didn't move. He shoved again, harder, and still didn't move me.
His eyes narrowed. "Who the fuck," he snarled, close enough that I could count the scars on his muzzle, "do you think you are, newbie weakling trash, trying to hit on Lady Riveria?" His breath smelled like raw meat and cheap ale.
I let him finish, raised one eyebrow, and scoffed. "I might be new to Orario," I said, keeping my voice easy and unhurried, "but I'm definitely not weak." I gave him a slow once-over, head to toe, and let a lazy smile touch the corner of my mouth. "At the very least, I'm stronger than you, Fido."
The cavern went dead silent. I watched it hit the party one face at a time. The little guy's eyebrows climbed. The young elf made a tiny horrified noise. Tione actually put a hand over her mouth.
Tiona started laughing so hard she had to grab her sister's shoulder to stay standing. The sound came out in wheezing whoops, and every time she tried to catch her breath she'd take one look at the werewolf's face and start laughing all over again.
"Fi," she gasped, "Fido. Oh gods. Oh gods, Bete, he called you Fiiiiiiiidooooo! Hahahahaha"
"Shut up, Tiona," the werewolf, Bete apparently, snarled without looking away from me. His face had gone a truly remarkable shade of purple under the fur, and his hackles were up in a ridge along his shoulders. His fangs were fully bared now. "Shut up. I'm going to take this pretty-boy's fucking head off!"
Bete took a step back and shifted his weight, claws flexing, and I watched him commit to the lunge before it happened. My body wanted to meet him halfway.
"Bete." The voice was quiet, almost mild, but it cut through the cavern. Every head in the party snapped toward its source. The little guy at the front of the formation hadn't raised his voice at all. He didn't need to. "Stand down."
Bete's whole body locked up mid-lunge. He turned his head toward his captain, a low growl still rumbling in his throat, and for a second I thought he was going to argue. Then his shoulders sagged a fraction of an inch, and he stepped back from me with a final snarl and an expression that promised we were not done. "FINE," he gritted out.
The little guy stepped forward, past Bete, past the Amazons, and came to a stop in front of me at a polite distance. Up close, he looked even younger than he had from across the chamber. His eyes, though, were the eyes of someone a lot older than his face.
"My apologies for my familia member's manners," he said, with the kind of warm politeness that was its own kind of weapon. He offered a small, slight bow. "I'm Finn Deimne, Captain of the Loki Familia."
"Blake Himejima," I said, returning the bow because when in Rome. "Hestia Familia."
He paused.
"Hestia Familia," he said, slowly, as if testing the words. "I wasn't aware Lady Hestia had any members? At least, that's what Lady Loki has been saying."
"She didn't," I said easily. "Until about four hours ago. I'm her first member."
His eyebrows went up another quarter inch. "I see." He recovered with the smoothness of a diplomat, and gestured behind him at the rest of his party. "Allow me to introduce my companions. You've already become acquainted with Bete Loga, our vanguard. Behind him, Tiona and Tione Hiryute, twin warriors of the Amazons. This is Lefiya Viridis, our newest mage." The younger elf startled and bowed quickly, murmuring a greeting that I barely caught. "Ais Wallenstein, our Sword Princess." The blonde swordswoman's golden eyes hadn't left me once during the entire introduction. She gave me the tiniest possible nod. It looked like it took effort. "And this," Finn said, with the faintest curl of amusement at the corner of his mouth, "is Riveria Ljos Alf. Our chief mage, and the Nine Hells Princess of song. She is single by the way…"
That was quite a nickname. And the second part was also interesting to know.
Riveria's eyes flicked, very briefly, to Finn. The look she gave him communicated an entire chapter of a book in a tenth of a second, and most of that book was titled I Am Going To Kill You Later.
Finn ignored her.
I gave Riveria my most respectful bow. She did not acknowledge it, but her color deepened another shade.
Tione elbowed her in the ribs.
"See," Tione murmured, not quietly enough, "he's polite too."
"Tione," Riveria said, through her teeth.
"Just saying…"
Through the entire exchange, Ais Wallenstein had not looked away from me. Not once. Her golden eyes were fixed on my face with an unblinking focus.
I decided to test it. I gave her a small, friendly smile, and waggled my fingers in a little wave.
Her expression did not change. At all.
Tiona, still half-collapsed against her sister with the aftershocks of laughter, caught the motion and immediately poked Ais hard in the arm. "Aiiiiiiz," Tiona crooned. "Are you making googly eyes at the new boy? Are you? Look at you, just staring at him like that. First Riveria, now Ais. The newbie pretty boy is racking up a body count today. Poor Loki is going to have her heart broken! Especially since she hates Hestia—hehehe."
Ais blinked once, slowly, and said, without looking away from me. "I'm trying to measure him." Her voice was soft.
Tiona paused mid-tease. "Huh?"
Finn exhaled quietly through his nose and inclined his head. "Well," he said, "we should be continuing up to the surface. We're just coming back from a long expedition." He offered me another polite bow, one hand resting on the strap of his spear. "Mister Himejima. A pleasure to make your acquaintance. Do be careful down here. The Dungeon has a way of surprising people."
"I'll keep that in mind," I said. "Safe travels."
The party started moving past me toward the staircase up. Lefiya scurried past in Riveria's wake with a tiny bow and a deep blush of her own, and I decided not to examine that one too closely. Tione gave me a slow, assessing look on her way by, and her smirk said she was cataloguing me for later use.
Tiona gave me a double thumbs-up and stage-whispered, "Good luck, pretty boy, Riveria's gonna have a lot to think about tonight."
"Tiona…" Riveria said, in a voice that could have etched glass.
Tiona cackled and kept walking.
Bete came through next, and he did me the courtesy of shoulder-checking me hard on the way past. I let him. His shoulder hit mine and bounced off it like he'd walked into a wall, and I saw the flicker of confusion cross his face before he covered it with a sneer. "Enjoy your first week, shitbag," he muttered, not quite under his breath. "Bet I see your name on the casualty list by Floor Five. Some kobold's going to eat that pretty face of yours."
I smiled at him, warm and genuine. "Thanks for the concern, Fido."
His fur stood on end, and he actually snarled out loud before stomping up the stairs two at a time.
Ais was the last. She stopped in front of me. She didn't say anything. She just stood there, maybe three feet away, and studied my face for what had to be five full seconds. Then, without a word, she continued on past me, and followed her familia up the stairs.
I stood there in the cavern, alone again, listening to the echo of their footfalls fade into the stone.
Well. That was interesting.
I gave them a couple minutes to get ahead of me, and then I turned and started walking back toward the first floor.
…The long walk back up the spiral staircase gave me time to think.
The stone steps felt endless on the way out, which was weird, because they'd felt short on the way in. Maybe that was just the difference between going down into something new and climbing back up toward someone who was waiting for me. She's gonna be waiting for me. She said she would be.
My mind kept drifting back to the party I'd run into. The Sword Princess staring at me like I was a puzzle she couldn't solve. The gorgeous elf refusing to look at me. The werewolf fuming mad.
Problems for future Blake…
I hit the top of the staircase, and the massive stone archway of the Dungeon entrance yawned open ahead of me. I stepped through into warmth, squinted against the afternoon light, and stopped for a second to let my eyes adjust.
The Tower of Babel loomed overhead, impossibly huge, piercing the clouds. The square around its base bustled with the same noisy mix of adventurers and merchants and shouting Guild employees as before.
It felt strange, stepping out of a literal monster-filled deathtrap and back into a normal city street like I'd just exited a subway station.
I started scanning the square for the twin tails.
I didn't have to look long.
A tender pair of arms rocketed out of the crowd and slammed into my stomach hard enough to make my breath catch, and the rest of Hestia came with them.
"BLAKE!" She crashed into me with all the subtlety of a cannonball. Her arms locked around my waist, her face buried itself into my abs, and her entire body pressed up against mine with a force that would have staggered a regular guy. I caught her with an oof and automatically dropped one hand to the small of her back to steady her, and the other went to the top of her head before I really thought about it, brushing through one of her twin tails.
Her breasts were crushed against my stomach in a way that was anatomically impossible and still happening. The ribbon on her dress was either going to hold or it wasn't, and there was no middle ground.
She tilted her face up to look at me, her chin digging into my abs, and her blue eyes were shiny in a way that stopped being funny and started being something else. They weren't quite crying. They were just wet enough around the edges that I could tell she'd been close. "You're okay," she breathed, and her voice cracked in the middle of the word okay. "You're okay, you're okay, you came back, you're whole, nothing bit you, you're all here."
"I'm all here," I said, and I meant for my voice to come out teasing, but it came out quieter than I meant it to.
She immediately pulled back just far enough to start doing a visual inspection, her hands patting frantically over my chest and my arms and my sides like a mother checking a kid after a bad fall. Her eyes darted over every inch of me. "No bites? No scratches? Did anything cut you? Did you hit your head? Did you breathe any weird air on Floor Two, some of the vents down there have spores that make adventurers hallucinate, did you feel dizzy, are you seeing spots…"
"Hestia."
"...are you thirsty, did you drink enough, I should have packed you water, oh gods, I didn't pack you water, I sent you into the Dungeon without water, I'm the worst goddess…"
"Hestia."
"...and you promised to stay above Floor Three, you did stay above Floor Three, right, you didn't go deeper did you…"
"Hestia."
She froze mid-rant, her hands still pressed flat against my chest. Her mouth hung open on the next word she'd been about to say.
I took her soft hands in both of mine and gave them a gentle squeeze. "I'm fine," I said softly. "I stayed above Floor Three. I didn't get hit or bit. You can breathe."
She breathed. She blew her bangs out of her face with a puff of breath and gave me a watery, embarrassed smile. "Sorry," she mumbled. "I was just. I was pretty sure you'd be okay. But I was also not sure… If that makes sense."
"You're a good goddess," I told her, and meant it.
Her face flushed pink, and she mumbled something unintelligible into my shirt and went back to hugging me. I didn't mind. I let her have the hug. A goddess I'd known for four hours had stood at the mouth of a monster pit for sixty solid minutes waiting for me to come out, and that deserved a hug.
After a few seconds, she pulled back, cleared her throat with exaggerated dignity, and tried to look like she hadn't just been one wrong second away from crying in public. "So!" she chirped, with a brightness that didn't quite cover the last of the tremble in her voice. "How did it go! Did you find monsters! Did you get stones! Did you—" She stopped. Her head tilted. Her brow scrunched. "Wait! I saw Loki's brats come up out of the Dungeon a little while before you!" Hestia went on. "Loki is my least favorite goddess in Orario. She's a flat-chested liar and a menace and she always steals my snacks from the pantheon hall. Did something happen between you and her kids? Did you get in a fight? Please tell me you didn't get in a fight with Loki Familia on your first day, Blake, please, I don't have the political capital for that yet, I literally have one person in my familia and that one person is you."
"I didn't get in a fight," I said. "I promise."
She narrowed her eyes suspiciously.
"I ran into them on Floor Two," I admitted, scratching the back of my neck. "They were coming up from Three. We talked for a minute. The captain was polite. The werewolf was an asshole. The short amazon laughed a lot. It was fine."
"Fine?" Hestia echoed.
"Mostly fine."
"Mostly fine???"
I considered my options for about half a second."...I might have teased the beautiful green-haired elf a little too much, though," I muttered, mostly to myself, mostly wistfully, because honestly it had been kind of a great moment.
The temperature around us dropped about five degrees. It was the kind of cold you felt in the back of your neck when something big and quiet was looking at you. The kind of cold that had nothing to do with air.
I looked down.
Hestia had gone very, very still. Her blue eyes had lost a little bit of their warmth, and in its place was something older. Something that went all the way back behind her pupils and kept going. Her twin tails, which had been swaying cheerfully a moment ago, had gone motionless. She stepped back from me just far enough to plant her tiny fists on her hips, squared her shoulders, and stuck out her chest.
"Ohoho? Some beautiful elf is trying to seduce MY Blake…?" Her voice was sweet. Entirely too sweet.
"Uh…" that's not how it happened at all but I didn't have time to say that before she spoke again.
"Is she more beautiful than I am?" She asked while staring up at me. The air around her literally shimmered. My divine senses, the part of me that was Nephilim and not mortal, screamed a tiny warning bell that reminded me I was standing two feet away from an actual goddess who could unmake me if she felt strongly enough about it.
Blake, think fast, think faster than that, this is the part where you say the right thing or you find out exactly what a pissed-off Hestia looks like. My mouth caught up to my brain before my brain caught up to my mouth. Tsunade's training kicked in, because Tsunade had taught me many things and one of them had been how to deliver a sincere compliment to a woman with his life on the line.
I met Hestia's eyes, let the smile on my face soften into something warmer and more personal, and said, quietly and clearly: "Of course not. You're the most beautiful woman I've seen in this whole world."
Technically true, my brain whispered frantically, because you have been in this world for less than five hours and Hestia was the first woman you met and every woman you've seen since then has been graded on a curve in your head that doesn't apply to a literal goddess. Riveria is a very, very, very close second, so close it's basically a photo finish, but we are absolutely not saying that part out loud, we are not saying that part out loud, we are not saying that part out loud…
Hestia blinked. The divine shimmer around her vanished so fast it was like I'd imagined it. Her blue eyes went wide, lost every trace of that ancient, dangerous thing, and just became the eyes of a tiny surprised goddess who hadn't expected the compliment to be delivered that honestly.
Her whole face went red. "Ehehehe." She brought her hands up to her cheeks and pressed them there like she was trying to hold her face together. "I. I mean. You don't. You don't have to. I wasn't. That was. That was a silly question. I know I'm very. I mean, I am a goddess, so obviously I am. But you don't have to. I mean…" She made a small, high-pitched sound that was somewhere between a giggle and a squeak, and she covered her mouth with both hands, and then she giggled again through her fingers.
Holy shit, that worked!
"Mmmmm," Hestia hummed, squirming happily in place, her twin tails swishing back and forth behind her with renewed vigor. "That's. That's a very good answer, Blake. That is an exceptional answer. You're forgiven. Immediately. Completely. You are extremely forgiven."
"Thank you, my lady."
"Don't call me that, remember?"
"Thank you, Hestia."
"Better." And then she pounced my arm. She latched onto my right bicep with both of her arms wrapping around it and she snuggled the side of her face into my shoulder with a content little sigh. Her dress, already scandalously short to begin with, rode up a little against my thigh as she pulled herself in against me. And her chest…
The ribbon across the front of her dress, the single small blue ribbon that was theoretically responsible for holding the entire front of her dress together, was working overtime. Her breasts had been aggressive before, when she'd just been hugging my stomach. Now, squashed up against my bicep with her arms locking them in place, they were contained only through a combination of fabric, optimism, and probably a small amount of divine intervention.
A couple of adventurers walking past us did a double take. One of them, a big guy in leather armor with a flail strapped to his back, gave me an extremely aggressive glare and muttered something that sounded like lucky bastard under his breath. I decided to take that as a compliment.
"So," I said, clearing my throat.
"Mm?" Hestia said dreamily, not opening her eyes that she had closed when she started snuggling up to me.
"I was thinking we should go and exchange all the stones I collected for money. And then get some food. And then get a hotel for the night."
One of her eyes cracked open. She looked up at me from where her cheek was still pressed against my shoulder. "WHAT ARE WE WAITING FOR THEN? We are going to have a very nice dinner. And a very nice room. I know a place. The best place. You're going to love it. Come on, let's go trade these in. The sooner we exchange, the sooner we eat, and I am starving."
She tugged on my arm and started pulling me forward through the square, her twin tails bouncing behind her with each eager step. She did not let go of my arm for a single second. If anything, she snuggled closer, readjusted her grip, tucked herself even more firmly into my side, and gave me a little squeeze that managed to press her chest against my bicep even harder than before.
I walked along with her, letting her lead, my blood pressure somewhere north of healthy.
"Keep up, Blake!" she chirped, tugging me along. "If we miss the early dinner rush, the line at Mama Mia's is going to be miserable."
"Yes, my goddess."
"I said stop calling me that!"
"Yes, Hestia."
She giggled, and pulled me into the crowd, and I let her.
– Loki –
The front doors of Twilight Manor swung open with the familiar groan of aged oak, and Loki Freya nearly fell off her chair in her hurry to sit up and pretend she hadn't been anxiously waiting for the last six hours for them to get back.
She'd been fine. Totally fine. She had been reading a completely engrossing novel about a barbarian princess and her captive mage lover, and she had absolutely not been checking the clock every eight minutes like some pining housewife. Her babies were big kids. Tough kids. They could handle a little Dungeon expedition. She'd raised them herself, picked each of them up off the street or recruited them from the ends of the world, and she knew exactly how strong each of them was.
The second she heard Tiona's unmistakable loud laugh echoing through the foyer, followed by Tione shushing her sister, the relief crashed over her like a wave and Loki was on her feet before she realized she'd stood up.
My babies are home. My babies are home safe!
She sprinted and she spread her arms wide the second she saw them.
"MY LITTLE GREMLINSSSSS!"
Tiona saw her coming and lit up, and that was all the invitation Loki needed. She launched herself at the short Amazon and wrapped both arms around her, burying her face in her shoulder and squeezing for all she was worth.
Warm. Alive. Sweaty. A little bit bloody. Perfect.
Loki's hands slid down. Way down. Her palms cupped two generous handfuls of Amazonian glute and gave them a thorough, appraising squeeze.
"Oof, Loki!" Tiona yelped, but she was laughing, leaning into the hug rather than pulling away. "Hi! Yeah, we're good, thanks for asking!"
"My oh my, your ass has gotten so firm," Loki marveled, giving another enthusiastic squeeze. "Have you been doing extra squats? Is that a new training regimen? Do you know how blessed your body is? I need to commission a statue. A marble one. Full scale. Tastefully nude."
"You say that every time."
"And I mean it every time!"
She really does have an incredible ass. A work of art. The gods envy her ass. I envy her ass and I'm the gods after all.
She gave Tiona's rear one last parting squeeze and moved on to her next victim.
Tione stood with her arms already crossed and her eyes already rolling, which was so classically Tione that Loki felt her heart swell.
"Tioneeeee," Loki cooed, advancing with her hands held out like a concert pianist preparing to play the keys.
"Make it quick."
"Oh, I'll take my time, thank you very much." Loki hugged her too, but this time her hands went high instead of low, and she filled both palms with a generous measure of Tione's tits through her armor. The Amazon warrior let out a long, exasperated sigh through her nose and did not resist. Loki gave an experimental squeeze, hummed appreciatively at the firmness, and nuzzled into Tione's shoulder. "Still perfect," Loki declared.
"Are you done?"
"Never. I will never be done. I am making a religion out of these."
"You're a goddess, so technically"
"Shush. I'm worshipping. Don't interrupt."
Tione sighed again but didn't move. Her eyes had already drifted over Loki's shoulder to where Finn was standing, and her cheeks colored faintly, and Loki caught the shift in her body language the second it happened.
She released Tione with a theatrical sigh and spun on her heel.
Lefiya saw what was coming about one full second before it happened and made a sound like a startled rabbit.
"EeP"
"LEFIYAAAAAA!"
"PLEASE no no no no!" The young elf scurried behind Riveria's skirt with all the dignity of a panicked cat, and her face was already the color of a ripe tomato before Loki had so much as touched her.
Loki cackled with delight. She loved Lefiya. Lefiya was the most reactable person in the entire familia, and every single time Loki even looked at her suggestively the poor girl practically combusted on the spot. So pure. So innocent. So fun to tease. Gods, I love her. "Aw, Lefiya, don't be like that," Loki wheedled, making exaggerated grabby hands in the direction of the mage-in-training. "You know I love you. I just want a little squeeze. A small squeeze. A respectful, appreciative squeeze from your patron goddess."
"There is no such thing as a respectful squeeze from you!"
"Slander! Lies! Defamation!"
"It's true."
Loki pouted, planted her hands on her hips, and moved on. She'd get Lefiya later, when the poor girl had her guard down. She always did.
Ais was next, and Ais was, as always, a particular kind of challenge.
The Sword Princess stood exactly where she had stopped when they entered the foyer. Her posture was relaxed. Her sword was still at her hip. Her gold eyes followed Loki as she approached, unblinking, completely unreadable.
Loki opened her arms.
Ais tilted her head slightly.
"Come here, you beautiful statue."
Ais obediently took one step forward, which was as much as Loki could ever reasonably hope for. Loki folded her into a hug and buried her face in the side of Ais's neck, breathing in the scent of sweat and steel and faint lavender soap. She squeezed. Her hands roamed downward and gave Ais's firm, lean backside a thorough two-handed grope.
Ais's expression did not change.
"Ais, sweetie," Loki murmured into her neck, "give me something. A flinch. A squeak. A twitch. Throw your poor goddess a bone."
"Welcome home to me too," Ais said, in her usual flat voice, entirely unbothered.
"Augh!" Loki pulled back with a dramatic flop of her hands. "You're like hugging a gorgeous marble pillar! I'm trying my best here! Give me a reaction!"
"Okay…?" Ais did not give a reaction.
My beautiful, emotionally constipated sword daughter. I love you so much and you will never love me back. This is my cross to bear. Loki released her with a theatrical sigh, squared her shoulders, and turned to face her final challenge.
Riveria Ljos Alf stood near the entrance to the foyer with her staff propped against the wall beside her, and an expression of pre-emptive disdain on her face that said she had seen this coming from the other end of Orario.
Loki's grin went predatory. My white whale. My elven princess. My beautiful, regal, untouchable ice queen. She spread her arms wide and charged with an enthusiastic war cry. "RIVERIAAAAA! DADDY'S HOME!"
"I think not!"
"COME TO PAPA!"
The staff moved. Loki didn't even see Riveria pick it up. One second it had been leaning against the wall, and the next second it was in Riveria's hand, and the second after that the butt of it cracked squarely against the top of Loki's forehead.
THONK.
"OW." Loki crumpled to the marble floor in slow motion, clutching her forehead with both hands, eyes screwed shut, tears welling up at the corners. She curled into a small, dramatic heap at Riveria's feet and let out a long, mournful wail.
"You're so meaaaan, Rivvy! I come home from a long day of worrying about you and you assault me!"
"You were about to grope me."
"That's called affection, you frigid little iceberg!"
"That is called assault, and I have told you on approximately eight hundred separate occasions that I will not tolerate it."
"Eight hundred and seventeen," Loki corrected, still curled on the floor, still clutching her head. "I've been counting. It's in a journal. I'm going to publish it after you die. Spoiler alert, you will be survived by a goddess who loved you very much and respected your boundaries never."
Riveria did not deign to respond. She simply stepped over Loki's prone form and moved further into the manor with the dignity of a queen stepping around a dead animal in the street.
Loki sniffled dramatically into the marble. Loki gave one more dramatic sob and then rolled herself upright in one fluid motion, completely recovered, and flopped onto her chaise with a theatrical sprawl that exposed far too much leg for polite company. She kicked her feet up over the arm, propped her cheek on her fist, and surveyed her children with the satisfaction of a shepherd who had miraculously brought her whole flock home. "So," she said brightly. "Expedition. How'd it go. Spill your guts, kiddos."
Finn, who had weathered the entire groping gauntlet by quietly choosing not to exist, stepped forward with the professionalism of a man who had made a lifetime career out of ignoring his goddess's chaos. "The expedition went well," he said, with the kind of measured, pleasant blandness he used when he was deliberately leaving things out. "We reached Floor Eighteen as planned. We cleared the targeted supply caches. Everyone returned uninjured. The party performed admirably."
Loki waited. Finn did not elaborate. Loki narrowed her eyes.
"Uh-huh," Loki said. "Uh-huh, sure. Anything else? Any fun stories? Any interesting encounters? Anything to liven up your dear old goddess's afternoon?"
"Not particularly…" he said bluntly.
"Finn. Finn, baby. Finn, my darling little pallum prince. Give me something."
"It was a routine expedition."
"It was boring," Bete snarled, from the doorway. Every head in the room turned. Bete was still standing just inside the entrance to the foyer, and his hackles were still up along the back of his shoulders, and his tail was still lashing back and forth in a way that said he'd been simmering for the entire walk back to the manor. He stomped into the room, tore his gloves off, and slammed them down onto a side table hard enough to make a vase wobble. "It was boring until we ran into that annoying fuckboy from the Hestia Familia on Floor Two!"
Loki blinked. Loki blinked again. A slow, delighted smile started at the corners of her mouth and crawled outward across her entire face.
Hestia Familia? HESTIA FAMILIA! Hestia actually got a kid? "Wait. Wait wait wait, hold up. Back up. Back the boat up. Stop the presses." Loki held up both hands and waved them. "Hestia Familia? As in, Hestia? That big-titted chibi goddess who got kicked out of Hephaestus's house this morning for eating all her leftovers? That Hestia?"
That stupid chibi has been stumbling around Orario for months freeloading off every pantheon house she can wheedle her way into, sleeping on couches, stealing snacks, mooching coin off Hephaestus like a baby bird that forgot how to fly, and suddenly she's got a familia member?
"And he's a pretty boy?" Loki asked, leaning forward on her elbows, grin splitting her face. "Tell me he's a pretty boy. Oh please, tell me. Hestia finally roped in a pretty boy to do her laundry and rub her shoulders. Someone tell me I'm right. Someone make my decade."
"He was super hot," Tiona announced, sitting down on a nearby couch.
"YES. Thank you, Tiona. You're my favorite today. You're my number one child."
"I'm always your number one child!"
"You're tied with everyone normally, but today you're the winner."
"He was tall," Tiona went on, ticking off fingers. "Dark hair, kinda messy but in a hot way. Blue eyes, super pretty. Lean, like a swordsman build but with more muscle, you could tell he worked out. Really nice jaw. Nice smile. Like a melt-you-into-a-puddle kind of smile." She paused, thinking about it. "He had this kind of attitude like he knew he was hot but didn't make a whole thing of it, you know? Just chill."
Loki whistled, long and low and appreciative. "Damn, Hestia. I need to know what kind of shrine she prays at, because her luck stat is through the roof!"
"He wasn't as handsome as Captain Finn," Tione put in, from where she was standing neatly with her back straight and her posture impeccable. Her voice was firm and her arms were crossed under her breasts and her cheeks were just barely tinged pink. "He was attractive, I'll give him that. Just not on Captain Finn's level." The way she said Captain Finn was approximately seventy-five percent sigh and twenty-five percent pure wanting.
Finn, who had picked up a ledger from the side table and been pretending to read it for the last ninety seconds, suddenly became extremely absorbed in a specific line item and did not look up.
"Captain," Tione said, a little louder. "Did you hear me?"
"Mm."
"I said he wasn't as handsome as you!"
"Mm-hm. Sounds good…"
"Captain Finn!" she whined longingly…
"I'll take it into consideration, Tione, thank you." Finn turned the page of his ledger.
She was ignored again. Tione's lips pressed into a thin line and her arms tightened across her chest and the pink on her cheeks deepened about two shades. She sat down on the couch next to Tiona with a small, aggrieved huff and stared at a spot on the wall and absolutely did not look at Finn.
Loki opened her mouth to tease her, but Tiona spoke up again.
"Loki!" Tiona rolled onto her stomach on the couch, kicked her feet up behind her, and propped her chin on her fists with the excited energy of a kid about to tell the best part of a story. "Loki, Loki, you gotta hear this, the best part was he hit on Riveria!"
Loki froze. Her head slowly, slowly swiveled to look at Riveria, who was sitting in the corner chair with her eyes fixed on a point on the far wall and an expression that said she was about to commit a war crime.
"He what," Loki whispered, in the tone of a woman who had just been handed the winning lottery ticket for the next thousand years.
"He hit on her!" Tiona said again, giggling. "Well, he didn't mean to. He meant to say it in his head but he said it out loud by accident. He called her a fantasy elf princess. And Riveria blushed."
"I did not," Riveria said, from her chair.
"She totally blushed," Tione confirmed, her own embarrassment temporarily forgotten in the face of this much better target. "Her face got all pink and she wouldn't look at him and he apologized and she still wouldn't look at him and she was all flustered, Loki, it was amazing."
"I was not flustered!" Riviera practically hissed like an angry cat.
"She's flustered again right now," Tiona stage-whispered to Loki.
"I will turn you to ash, Tiona."
Loki had stopped breathing.
Her face had frozen in an expression of pure, unfiltered, religious ecstasy. Her hands had come up to cover her mouth. Her eyes had gone wide and shiny. "Riveria," Loki breathed, her voice cracking. "Riveria, baby, sweetheart, light of my life…"
"Don't."
"Riveria, my beautiful bottled-up storm of a woman!"
"Don't."
"Was he cute?"
"Loki, I swear to the divine elven ancestors!"
"Was he cuuuuuute? Did he make your elven little heart go pitter-pat? Did he make you feel things? Is he coming over for tea? Can I meet him? Can I approve of him? Can I give you the sex talk? Rivvy, do you need the sex talk?"
Riveria was on her feet. "I am leaving."
"NO! Rivvy, don't leave, we're bonding!"
"We are not bonding. You are inflicting yourself upon me. I am going to my chambers. Nobody disturb me!"
"RIVERIA—" Loki paused and wondered if she teased too far this time? Eh, worth it! Riveria walked out of the foyer with her spine straight and her chin up and the staff in her hand, and Loki watched her go with the most inappropriate grin of her entire godhood plastered across her face.
If only, Loki thought wistfully, she'd make that flustered face for me. If only it was my name on her lips. If only it was my hand she couldn't meet the eyes of. I would make her so happy. I would treat her like a queen. I would ruin her so gently she'd weep with gratitude. But no. It's some pretty-boy newbie from the Hestia Familia who can't keep his mouth shut. Figures.
Loki sighed dreamily, imagining it anyway. Riveria under her. Riveria's jade hair spread across a pillow. Riveria's dignified voice cracking into a soft, gasping moan as Loki's fingers found the right places to tease. Riveria whispering her name with that same faint pink on her cheeks.
Mmmmrph. Loki's thighs tingled. She was going to have to spend some quality time with herself later. Possibly immediately. "So let me get this straight," Loki said, turning back to the rest of the familia. "The Hestia Familia's one and only member is a tall, dark, handsome pretty boy with blue eyes and a great smile. He was doing solo runs on Floor Two. He ran into my babies and flustered the most unflustereable elf I've ever met in my immortal life. Bete hates him. Finn is being weird about him and pretending he isn't. Anybody else got anything to add before I personally go find this boy and shake his hand?"
"He was annoying," Bete snarled, from where he was now sprawled on one of the armchairs with his arms crossed and his face thunderous. "Full of shit. Acted like he was hot stuff but didn't back it up. Just ran his mouth. Called me Fido."
Loki snorted.
"...He was strong." Ais suddenly spoke up.
The whole room stopped. Loki looked over. Ais had been standing silently to one side of the foyer the entire time, her arms loose at her sides, her expression unreadable, her gold eyes half-lidded the way they got when she was turning something over and over in her head. She hadn't spoken during the entire debrief. Loki had almost forgotten she was there. Which was unusual because Ais was so gorgeous she usually lit up every room even when she was silent.
"He was strong," Ais repeated.
Bete let out an incredulous bark of laughter. "Are you serious, Ais? That shitbag? He was posturing, he was all puffed up because he thought he could get away with it, there's no way"
"...If we all fought him at the same time, we all would have lost," Ais finally said. And she always had a talent at being able to read someone's strengths, even if they tried to hide it.
The room went dead silent. Bete's mouth stayed open. The laugh died in his throat. His ears flattened back against his skull. Tiona's grin fell off her face like someone had wiped it with a rag. Tione's head snapped up, her eyes going to Finn, and Finn had gone very, very still in his chair, his thumb no longer twitching because his entire hand had stopped moving. Lefiya, who had been peeking out from behind an armchair, made a soft, scandalized noise.
Loki's playful sprawl slowly, slowly uncurled. Her normally closed eyes cracked open.
Ais Wallenstein does not exaggerate.
Ais Wallenstein does not joke.
Ais Wallenstein does not lie.
"Ais, sweetheart," Loki said, very carefully. "Talk to me. What did you feel?"
Ais considered the question. "I couldn't see the bottom of him..."
"Meaning?" Loki wanted to hear more.
"When I meet someone strong, I can usually feel how strong. I can tell where their strength stops." Ais's brows knit together, faintly, with the effort of articulating something she normally didn't have to articulate. "I can feel where mine stops. When I looked at him, I couldn't tell. It didn't stop. I couldn't see the bottom…"
JUST WHO—OR WHAT—THE HELL DID YOU RECRUIT, HESTIA!?
XXX
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