Inside the teahouse, the air was thick with anticipation as the top-tier shinobi gathered. Ten years had slipped by like sand through their fingers.
Obito, still in his Edo Tensei form, looked exactly as he had a decade ago—unchanging, almost eerie in his immortality.
Madara, too, remained mostly the same. His hair had grown longer, and maybe, just maybe, the fact that he now had a wife and daughter had softened the edges of his once-imposing gaze. The iron in his bearing was tempered by a hint of warmth.
With the Grand Tournament looming, their conversation was inevitably drawn toward it.
Madara scoffed, "Old man Ōnoki's coming again this year. I swear, he's chasing that 'eternal qualification'—probably refuses to die until he gets it."
After the ninja world's reforms, Ōnoki had handed the Tsuchikage mantle to his granddaughter, Kurotsuchi. Yet he refused to fade away, showing up at every Grand Tournament like an old warhorse unwilling to be put out to pasture.
Seven tournaments straight, he'd been a fixture. Now, well into his eighties, his chakra and stamina couldn't compete with the younger crowd, but he clung on, relying on his experience and his legendary Dust Release. He'd won the Earth Division seven times in a row. If it hadn't been for his back acting up and breaking his fifth streak, he might already have claimed the title of Eternal Earth Ninja.
But a miss was a miss—he could only chase the "seven wins" route now.
This year marked his eighth appearance. If he managed to defend his title again, he'd become the oldest ninja ever to earn eternal qualification.
Thinking of that stooped old warrior, Naruto couldn't help but feel a pang of sympathy. "Maybe we should let the old guy take it easy. He's really getting up there. Wouldn't hurt to let him fulfill his dream…"
Madara shot him a glare. "No holding back. What, you think my soldiers need charity? He's old, but he's still a shinobi—and he's earned my respect."
Naruto hurried to backtrack. "Don't take it so seriously, Uncle Madara. I was just saying…"
He turned to Obito. "So, who's the top contender from Kirigakure this year?"
Obito, now Kirigakure's strategy consultant, loved to complain about the Bloody Mist, but truthfully, he was more invested than anyone.
Obito smirked. "Still that single she-devil…"
Naruto raised an eyebrow. "Didn't she say she was finally gonna get married?"
Turns out, since Mei Terumī retired as Mizukage, she'd fought in three tournaments and defended her title every time. But the overall strength of ninja kept rising, and winning wasn't getting any easier. Last time, she'd barely held off a rookie.
It left her feeling worn out, even joking that maybe it was time to settle down and stop competing with kids.
Obito laughed. "You're underestimating her. She ended the Bloody Mist—she's not the type to quit easily. Besides, her successor, Haku, is shining so bright, there's no way she's leaving without that eternal qualification. Only then will she consider marriage."
That's right—Haku, once a victim of the Bloody Mist, had become the Sixth Mizukage. It marked Kirigakure's final break with its bloody past.
But Haku didn't get the job out of pity. She was the youngest woman ever to earn eternal Earth Ninja status, winning five tournaments in a row.
Yeah, you heard right—a woman.
After Orochimaru, Haku had sought out Naruto, asking him to use the power of Futsu no Mitama to transform her soul into a woman.
And then… she married Zabuza, turning the Bloody Mist's darkest legend into a story of love and redemption.
The conversation drifted to Kumogakure.
Talking about Kumo meant talking about that living thunderstorm.
The Fourth Raikage, A, had retreated to Hell Valley and vanished from the world nearly ten years ago.
Naruto shivered, remembering the punch A had landed on Indra during the Fourth Shinobi War. "Honestly, I'm a little scared. If he comes back this time, he might actually be a monster…"
Sasuke snorted. "He probably doesn't even know what the Grand Tournament is."
With A out of the picture, the Raikage seat had long since changed hands.
The new leader was Broly.
Most people barely remembered him, but Naruto had met him years ago during a secret raid on Kumo for the Lightning Chakra Mode scroll. Broly's agility had left an impression.
Back then, Naruto had told him, "It's not your time to shine yet."
But time moved on. Broly became the Fifth Raikage, married his dream girl Samui, and basically lived the fantasy.
Naruto couldn't help but sigh. "That kid's luck is unreal…"
Obito grinned. "Speaking of luck, you're not exactly suffering yourself. Don't forget how good you've got it~"
Sasuke groaned. "Naruto, spare a thought for us two single guys, will you?"
Obito shrugged. "Don't worry about me—I'm engaged."
Sasuke's jaw dropped. "Wait, what? You and Kakashi finally made it official?!"
Obito burst out laughing. "Hah! No, it's me and Rin—we're engaged."
Who would've guessed? The soul Naruto brought back with Futsu no Mitama turned out to be Rin's actual soul.
Naruto never quite figured out how.
But Obito had a theory. "Rin's always been special. Even back then, her soul could see me and Kakashi…"
Their banter was interrupted by Madara, who was tapping his foot impatiently and glancing at the wrecked door he'd kicked in. "Where the hell is Hashirama?"
THUD. THUD. THUD.
Suddenly, Madara's chair started shaking violently.
He frowned. "What the… an earthquake?"
Scratch, scratch.
A pair of wooden hands reached up and started tickling Madara's armpits!
Madara exploded with laughter. "Ahahahaha, enough! Stop it…!"
CRASH!
The chair toppled, writhing and morphing until it became Hashirama himself!
Everyone except Naruto gaped in shock.
Hashirama beamed. "My latest Wood Release transformation—'Wooden Mother Golden Lotus Transformation!' What do you think? Even the Rinnegan can't see through it!"
Madara shook his head. "You're such a freak…"
Sasuke shot Naruto a sly look. "Naruto, you saw through it, didn't you?"
Everyone turned to Naruto. "Really?"
Naruto smiled, confirming it without words.
Obito was curious. "How'd you know Naruto saw through it?"
Sasuke explained, "I saw him glance at Madara's chair."
Obito snickered. "The First Hokage has some weird tastes. Wasn't he worried Madara might fart?"
Hashirama laughed. "You guys underestimate Madara's butt control. I've never seen him fart—not once. Madara, you ever fart?"
Madara grinned wickedly. "Just now, I let out three. Maybe the fennel masked the smell."
Hashirama's face turned green and he dropped to his knees. "Ughhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!"
Madara pointed and laughed. "You're such an idiot! Hahaha!"
Hashirama spun around. "You were sitting on my ass, and I farted three times right at your butt. There's probably residue stuck in you…"
Madara's face twisted in horror. "Tell me you're kidding!!!!"
And so, the five celestial-level shinobi's comedy routine carried on straight through to noon.
Naruto glanced at the clock on the wall, murmuring, "Hmm, it's about time for the first round to start. Shikaku's questions are always brutal—this time won't be any easier. I wonder what kind of answer that kid Dōjin will turn in…"
Torrent City. In the Grand Tournament's written exam hall, over 160 contestants received their test papers.
There was only one question—a subjective essay.
The prompt read:
"If you make it to the Grand Tournament finals, and these two Ōtsutsuki suddenly crash the venue, what will you do? Based on your own situation, lay out your response steps clearly and logically."
Dōjin stared at the illustrations of the two Ōtsutsuki beside the question and muttered, "Dog ears again…"
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