The city looked the same.
That was the first thing Xu Shen noticed as the tempo rolled down the main road, past the rows of grey brick buildings and busy roads and state-run shops and city restaurants. The busy streets had no comparison to the unpaved, uneven village roads.
It looked the same. The same city where they had once lived with their parents. The city hadn't changed at all, but everything in his life had.
He pressed his lips together and looked away.
Xu Wei had his face nearly flattened against the window. "Brother, look! The clock tower! I remember that!" Even Xu Wei, who had been so young then, still remembered at least one thing about this familiar yet unfamiliar city.
"Stop pressing your face on the glass," Xu Shen said flatly.
"I'm just looking."
"You look like a fish."
Xu Wei pulled back exactly one centimetre. Then pressed forward again.
In the front seat, Qin Lian glanced sideways at Xu Yinchen, who was driving through the busier city roads with quiet focus.
She had heard the children's exchange and glanced back knowingly. Xu Yinchen had heard it too, the small yearning tucked inside those words, and when he looked at Qin Lian, he found the same expression in her eyes.
She hadn't been back since leaving the Qin family compound. It had been only two days, yet the city already felt both familiar and foreign at the same time. She understood, a little, what the children were feeling.
She had felt it herself once, whenever she used to pass through the neighbourhood where she had lived with her parents before they passed away.
It was a feeling that couldn't be put into words. The place that used to be your whole world had somehow become foreign to you.
Her heart felt heavy with it, knowing the children carried that same weight.
Xu Yinchen, eyes on the road, noticed the distant look settling over her face. He pursed his lips quietly, wondering if she, too, was missing the city, her old life, the twenty years she had spent here before everything changed.
He said nothing. He kept driving.
Some things didn't need to be said out loud.
…..
The department store was on the main street of the city centre, its signboard visible from a distance. Even from the road, you could see the crowd moving steadily in and out through the heavy glass doors.
Xu Yinchen parked at the roadside. All five of them climbed out.
Xu Wei immediately craned his neck up at the building, eyes wide. "We're going in there? Do you have that much money?"
Qin Lian chuckled at his words. "If you behave well, I'll let you have one candy today." She reached for Xu Hao to settle him on her hip.
But before she could take a step, Xu Yinchen, who had caught up after parking, smoothly lifted Xu Hao from her arms and carried him without a word.
She was caught off guard. But she wouldn't lie to herself; it was a little uncomfortable carrying a child in a dress, and her body was stiff after almost two hours in the tempo.
She smiled at him gently. "Thank you."
Xu Yinchen seemed briefly surprised. He didn't say anything, simply looked away.
….
The moment they stepped through the glass doors, the atmosphere shifted entirely.
It was cooler inside. Fluorescent lights hummed overhead, the air carrying the faint smell of mothballs and new fabric.
Glass display cases stretched in long rows across the floor; shoes, bolts of cloth, enamel washbasins, thermoses, stationery.
Everything a household could need under one roof. It wasn't a remarkable sight for Qin Lian, but for the children, who had never seen so many things displayed with such grandeur, it was something else entirely.
Even Xu Hao, settled in Xu Yinchen's arms, had gone wide-eyed, turning his head slowly at everything around him.
And the children who had been excited and jumping around outside, Xu Wei especially, suddenly went very quiet.
Xu Wei was holding the hem of her dress, while Xu Shen followed her silently; they were simply like little ducks following her.
Qin Lian glanced down at them and laughed softly. "Let's go," she said and walked ahead.
Xu Yinchen and the children simply followed.
As they walked through the corridor of the first floor, Xu Yinchen was about to step into a women's clothing shop when Qin Lian's voice stopped him.
"Xu Yinchen. Where are you going?"
He paused and looked back at her. She had stopped in front of the shop behind him, arms crossed lightly. He glanced at the women's shop, then back at her. "Didn't you say you needed to buy things?"
"Yes," she said. "That's why I stopped here." She pointed at the children's clothing shop directly in front of her. "We're going here first."
Xu Yinchen blinked. He was genuinely surprised.
He had assumed she had come to the city to buy things for herself; clothes, necessities, the items any woman setting up a new home would want. He hadn't expected her to think of the children first.
Neither had the children.
To them, being brought to the city and walking into a department store this size was already more than they had imagined. The thought that she would spend money on them hadn't even crossed their minds.
Xu Shen's ears went red. He lowered his head and said in a low, halting voice, "We... don't need clothes. We have enough to wear."
Qin Lian looked at him.
He was wearing a simple checked cotton shirt, patched in places, old, and slightly wrinkled. His slippers were broken at the soles. Xu Wei and Xu Hao were no different. Not one of them had a decent pair of shoes between them.
Yet here he was, hesitating.
She smiled and said, "I know you have enough. But I also enjoy shopping. I'd like to buy some things for you, will you not wear them?" She tilted her head slightly. "Hmm?"
She knew these children well enough by now. Xu Shen, especially. After losing their parents, they had learned to need nothing from anyone.
It wasn't stubbornness; love and care had been absent so long that receiving it now felt more foreign than its absence.
He didn't know how to accept it anymore. But that was exactly why she wasn't going to stop trying. If she could give them even a little of it, she would.
Xu Yinchen, standing to the side, watched the exchange quietly. He noticed the way she spoke to them, measured, gentle, never pushing. The children were opening up to her faster than he had expected.
They hadn't even warmed up to him this quickly, and he had been with them for a year now.
He exhaled quietly and stepped forward to stand beside her. "Let's hurry then. We have a long day ahead." He said it before Xu Shen could think any further, and walked straight into the shop.
Qin Lian smiled and waved the children forward.
Xu Shen hesitated. Then he looked at Xu Wei, whose face was barely containing his excitement, and at Xu Hao, who was in Xu Yinchen's arms, staring wide-eyed at the colourful display of clothes with a small trail of drool forming at the corner of his mouth.
He sighed. And followed.
Inside, the shop was brighter than the main floor, and clothes hung on display racks along the walls with small price tags attached.
With the country opening up and more goods entering the market, ready-made clothing has become more available and more varied. There was plenty to look at.
Qin Lian glanced down at Xu Wei, who had already attached himself to the hem of her dress, and said, "Go ahead and look at whatever you like. I'll get you everything you want. Don't hesitate, it's your father paying today. So go and choose."
Xu Wei stared up at her with enormous eyes. "Can I really get new clothes?"
She ruffled his hair. "Why not? Go on."
He was off before she finished the sentence.
Near the counter, two salespeople in grey uniforms stood talking, laughing at something between themselves. They glanced over as the family entered, the couple simply dressed but decent enough, the children in patched clothes and worn-out footwear.
Their expressions said the rest.
A moment later, Xu Wei ran to one of the display racks and reached out to touch a jacket, eyes bright.
"Hey." One of the saleswomen's voices came out sharp, causing other customers to look in this direction. "Don't touch that with your dirty hands. These are display items. You cannot touch them without permission."
Xu Wei flinched back immediately. He looked at her, eyes wide and wronged. "My hands aren't dirty. I washed them."
The woman looked him over with a frown. "You still cannot touch them. Don't you know that?" She clicked her tongue. "No money, and you come to places like this. Wasting everyone's time."
Xu Wei's lower lip trembled. His eyes began to well up with tears.
Just then, a hand came on his shoulder, stopping him in place. A familiar voice came from behind, calm and clear.
"Is that so? Then why don't you stop the others from touching the clothes?"