"Shizun!" Xue Tuzi exclaimed, his voice sharp with disapproval. He took a step forward as if to argue, but before he could, Xue Laohu smoothly interjected.
"The potion is a powerful poison," Xue Laohu said, snapping his fan open with a practiced flick of his wrist. "And Sect Leader Mao's brother is notorious for scamming him." His fan stirred the humid air, though it did little to ease the sweat beading along his forehead. Despite his composed posture, the tension in his jaw betrayed his unease. "I need Shudu to go and verify that the potion is legitimate."
"If that is all Grandmaster Xue requires, then there is no need to send that useless disciple," Shudu sneered. His sharp gaze flicked toward Xue Tuzi, who returned the glare with equal venom. His tongue sharpened to a blade's edge, poised to carve his pain into Xue Tuzi's skin syllable by syllable.
Xue Laohu's fan moved faster, the elegant strokes of his wrist turning into something more erratic. His eyes darted to the side as he quickly searched for an excuse—anything to make them go together. "Ahem." He cleared his throat, straightening his shoulders. "Since you are not a disciple, and a demon at that, they won't even let you past the front gates. That's why I need Xue Tuzi to go—he has the seal of Sect Mount Dingbu." He punctuated the explanation by running a hand through his damp hair, shaking off his bangs like a restless dog trying to rid itself of rain.
Xue Tuzi's lips pressed into a thin line. "It is as Shizun wishes," he said stiffly, the weight of resignation dulling his tone. Without another word, he reached for Jiao Jiao's hand and turned to leave. Shudu scoffed, stretching his arms lazily before clasping his hands behind his head.
Xue Laohu let out a long, relieved sigh, clutching his chest as he watched the three figures disappear down the path. He had just begun to relax when a soft voice murmured from behind him.
"Shizun."
Xue Laohu stiffened.
Li Zhameng hovered mere breaths above him, his nose skimming the heated skin of Xue Laohu's neck. The intoxicating sweetness of his Shizun's scent drew a quiet, possessive inhale through flared nostrils. Xue Laohu immediately turned grasping Li Zhameng's arm and dragging him behind a pillar. Before he could utter another word, Xue Laohu swiftly clamped a hand over his lips.
"Shhh!" he hissed, eyes darting around like a guilty man caught in the act. Li Zhameng blinked, confused, his muddy green eyes wide and questioning. His breath hitched as he wrapped an arm around his Shizun's waist. He swallowed, feeling his Shizun's hand on his lips tighten just slightly.
Oh.
A delicious shiver ran down his spine.
He leaned closer his tongue brushing against Xue Loahu's palm indulging in the intimate act, Xue Loahu's cheeks flushed removing his hand as if he had gotten scaled. His Shizun, ever-composed, ever-distant was finally losing control. The roughness of his touch, the dominance in his grip, the weight of his body pressing close.
"Meng Meng…"
Xue Laohu's voice cut through the air like a whip, sharp and commanding. He finally released his grip, unclasping his hand from Li Zhameng's mouth with a look of sheer regret.
Li Zhameng blinked up at him, dazed, his breath uneven, his lips slightly parted in a smile. Xue Laohu ignored it. With an expression twisted in disgust, he wiped the trace of drool from Li Zhameng's mouth—on the side of his own pants.
Li Zhameng, licked his lips savoring his Shizun's unraveling, he barely had time to react before the edge of Xue Laohu's fan met his lips, pressing against them in a silent warning.
"I'm going into seclusion to cultivate for the next twelve hours," Xue Laohu announced, his voice firm. He gave a lazy flick of his wrist, lightly tapping Li Zhameng's lips with the fan. "And you will go to the Cloud Scroll Library and copy The Great Grandmaster's Principles one hundred times."
The words hung in the air like a death sentence.
Li Zhameng's lips parted again, this time in protest, but Xue Laohu was faster. Another quick tap of the fan—just enough pressure to remind him who was in charge.
"Don't think I've forgotten about your punishment," Xue Laohu added, his grin widening into something infuriatingly smug. He waved the fan once more for emphasis before turning on his heel, making his exit swift and absolute.
"As you wish," Li Zhameng murmured, inhaling deeply as he saw the silhouette of the man disappear.
Meanwhile, Xue Laohu wasted no time. The moment he reached his secluded dwelling, he dropped to the ground, legs crossed, and took a deep breath.
"Alright," he muttered to himself. "Let's get this over with."
His fingers twitched as he called forth the system.
"Hey, yo, system!" he barked.
A violent, wet-sounding cough immediately answered him.
Xue Laohu winced. The coughing fit went on for an excruciatingly long time—hacking, wheezing, gasping—before the system finally managed to clear its throat.
Then, in bold, blinding neon letters, the title of the novel flashed before his eyes.
WELCOME USER TO—
BOUND BY DARKNESS, YET DRAWN BY LOVE: THE DEMON'S ETERNAL CURSE AND THE MORTAL'S UNBREAKABLE HEART IN A WORLD THAT SHOULDN'T LET THEM BE TOGETHER BUT SOMEHOW, AGAINST ALL ODDS, THEY COPULATE
Xue Laohu ran a hand down his face.
"Fucking hell," he groaned.
Nothing irritated him more than this. The sheer absurdity of the novel's title alone made his skin crawl, blinking at him in its gaudy, eye-searing brightness. He could feel the migraine forming already.
He still couldn't believe his sister actually read this trash.
More than that, he couldn't believe that someone had actually written this junk.
He exhaled slowly through his nose, forcing himself to focus. "System, initiate quest."
The system pulsed.
QUEST INITIATED.
12-HOUR EMBER'S EMBRACE: IGNITE LOVE'S FLAMES. USER WILL HAVE FULL CONTROL OF THE SETTING FOR THE DURATION OF 12 HOURS. DURATION BEGINS NOW.
A massive, glowing red timer materialized before him, its numbers already ticking down at a rapid pace.
Xue Laohu's eye twitched.
"Hey! What about the rules?!" he snapped. "How am I supposed to have full control of the setting?!"
He slammed his palm against the ground in frustration, watching the seconds slip away.
The system gave its response.
USER MAY WATCH HOW-TO TUTORIAL.
Xue Laohu let out a long, suffering sigh. "Oh, for fuck's sake…"
He groaned, rolling his eyes so hard he nearly saw the back of his skull. He hated watching tutorials. They were always too long, too tedious, and an absolute waste of time—especially when time was the one thing he didn't have to spare. He waved his hand dismissively at the glowing prompt before him.
"Yeah, yeah, skip that crap," he muttered.
Instead, he began jabbing at random buttons on the interface, his fingers dancing over the translucent screen. He tapped here, swiped there, half-hoping to stumble upon something useful. His impatience only grew until, by sheer dumb luck, he hit the one button that made his soul abruptly separate from his body.
The sensation was jarring.
Xue Laohu gasped as he felt himself lift—his body, now lifeless, slumped unceremoniously to the ground beneath him. He hovered above it, weightless and untethered, floating like a ghost. For a moment, he stared down at himself, watching his chest remain eerily still.
"Holy shit," he breathed. "That's unsettling."
Shaking off the weirdness, he pulled up the system's settings, curiosity sparking in his chest.
"Make it rain," he commanded.
Immediately, dark clouds rolled in from the edges of the sky, converging overhead. The first droplets of rain splattered against the ground, quickly turning into a full downpour. A slow smirk spread across his face.
"Make it stop."
The rain ceased in an instant, the sky returning to its pristine, cloudless state.
He grinned, tilting his head. "A flock of birds."
With a flick of his wrist, as if painting on an invisible canvas, a flock of birds burst through the morning sky, their wings catching the golden light.
"Nice, nice, nice," he muttered, pleased. His excitement only grew as he tested more commands, the realization of his near-absolute power sinking in.
Then, an idea struck.
"Teleport me to Xue Tuzi and Shudu's location."
The system responded immediately, and before he could so much as blink, the world around him shifted—scenery bending, colors blurring—until he found himself standing at the foot of Mount Dingbu.
Xue Tuzi and Shudu were already there, making their way down the mountain trail in complete silence.
Xue Laohu frowned.
The distance between them was… appalling. A whole chasm of space stretched between his Shou and Gong, making them look less like future lovers and more like complete strangers who had been forced into each other's company.
How the hell was he supposed to get them to embrace, let alone ignite flames of love at this rate?
Xue Laohu tapped his chin in thought. Then, like a spark in his mind, he remembered the oldest trick in the book—the accidental fall. It was a classic setup in romance dramas: the delicate heroine trips, the strong male lead catches her just in time, and they share a moment of breathless tension. She stares up at him, wide-eyed, cheeks flushed. He gazes down at her, smirking as he says—"Are you alright?"
Perfect.
If he could just get Xue Tuzi to fall into Shudu's arms, it would be romantic perfection.
Xue Laohu examined Shudu critically. He definitely had the makings of a male lead—tall, handsome, with that brooding, untouchable aura. His skin, though darker than the typical romantic hero, had a rich golden undertone that only made him look more powerful, more commanding. His body was lean and muscular, the tight lines of his arms covered in intricate tattoos, giving him that bad boy edge straight out of a modern drama.
And his eyes—one a piercing crimson, the other a soft golden hue—were striking. Intense. The kind of eyes that made people weak in the knees.
If Xue Tuzi didn't swoon the second he fell into those arms, then Xue Laohu would personally throw him off the mountain.
Grinning, he waved his hands, adjusting the scenery. "Create overgrowth."
The surrounding trees shuddered before their branches and roots stretched outward, twisting and weaving together. Thick vines curled into the space between Xue Tuzi and Shudu, forcing them closer and closer until only a few scant inches remained between their bodies.
Xue Tuzi tensed, instinctively tightening his grip on Jiao Jiao's hand. His eyes darted around, scanning their surroundings. "What's going on?" His voice was sharp with unease. "It's as if the forest has grown a will of its own."
Shudu, in contrast, barely reacted. He simply shrugged, his expression bored as he continued walking, with Xiao Zongzi dangling lazily by his side.
Xue Laohu narrowed his eyes. Damn it, do something!
Fine. Time for the main event.
"Raise a root. Make him trip."
As if obeying his unspoken will, a thick tree root lurched upward, catching Xue Tuzi's foot.
He let out a startled yelp before he went crashing down.
"Yes!" Xue Laohu whispered excitedly, his hands clenched into eager fists as he watched the scene unfold. This was it! This was the moment!
Except—
Instead of falling into Shudu's arms, Xue Tuzi hit the ground. Face first.
A sharp gasp tore through the air as Jiao Jiao immediately rushed to his side, eyes wide with concern. "Mama!" the child called, patting Xue Tuzi's shoulder worriedly.
Shudu?
Shudu just stood there. And laughed.
"Ha! That's what you get," he snickered, his lips curling into a wicked grin.
Xiao Zongzi, merely sighed, shaking her head at her master's lack of sympathy.
Xue Tuzi groaned, pushing himself up with an irritated grumble. His knee was scraped, his robes covered in dirt. "Ugh," he muttered, dusting himself off.
Xue Laohu's eye twitched. His triumphant smile vanished.
What the actual fuck was that?!
He slapped a hand over his face, dragging it down in sheer, unfiltered disappointment. "Shudu," he hissed. "You—you were supposed to catch the beauty from falling, not watch him eat dirt and laugh!"
Another groan escaped him, louder and more frustrated.
"How am I supposed to ignite love's flames when my Gong is a complete asshole?"
With his time ticking down, Xue Laohu refused to admit defeat. He had already failed multiple times, but he was determined to force a romantic spark between Xue Tuzi and Shudu—no matter what it took.
This time, he tried something foolproof: rain.
Everyone knew that rain was the perfect setup for intimacy. Stranded under an umbrella, bodies pressed close together, sharing warmth—it was a classic romance trope. He had even conveniently provided the umbrella, placing it right in their path so they would have no choice but to share it.
It should have worked.
It should have been the perfect moment.
But instead—
Xue Tuzi reached the umbrella first.
"Oh, how strange," he murmured, glancing up at the sky as he scooped Jiao Jiao into his arms. "It was sunny just a minute ago, and now it's raining." He then smiled, tucking the child securely against him. "Good thing someone left this umbrella behind, or we'd be soaking wet."
He held the umbrella high, shielding himself and Jiao Jiao as they walked comfortably down the path—dry, warm, and utterly oblivious to the drenched figure behind them.
Shudu stood a few steps back, soaked to the bone.
The rain pounded mercilessly against his head and shoulders, drenching his robes. His dark hair clung to his face in heavy strands, water dripping down the sharp planes of his jaw. His expression was blank, unreadable, but the slight twitch of his brow suggested a growing irritation.
Meanwhile, Xiao Zongzi burrowed deeper into the folds of his clothing, hissing in displeasure. She hated the rain.
Xue Laohu slammed his head against the metaphorical walls of his mind.
AGAIN? How the hell did I mess this up AGAIN?!
He gritted his teeth. "Make the rain stop," he grumbled, and just like that, the sky obeyed. The clouds parted, the sun peeked out, and warmth returned to the mountain path.
Xue Tuzi blinked in astonishment. He lifted his head, holding out a hand as if testing the air, ensuring the rain had truly stopped.
"How strange," he murmured. Slowly, he lowered the umbrella and gently set Jiao Jiao down. The child clutched his worm plushie in one hand while holding onto Xue Tuzi's fingers with the other, his small legs wobbling as he adjusted to walking again.
Xue Laohu paced in frustration, his ethereal form darting left and right.
First, he had tried the classic trapped together in the forest trick, using the trees to twist and close in, forcing Xue Tuzi and Shudu to stand inches apart. That should have led to some tension, some accidental touching—something. But instead?
Xue Tuzi had immediately noticed the unnatural shift in the forest and had pulled Jiao Jiao closer protectively, his wariness overriding any potential romantic spark.
Then, he had unleashed a fleet of butterflies—soft, delicate creatures meant to create a magical, ethereal atmosphere. He had imagined Xue Tuzi twirling among them, awestruck, while Shudu admired him in silent adoration.
But what had actually happened?
Xue Tuzi had coldly swatted them away like flies.
Apparently, the beauty hated bugs. Butterflies were no exception.
Meanwhile, Xiao Zongzi had taken full advantage of the situation, capturing as many butterflies as she could and stuffing herself like it was an all-you-can-eat buffet.
After that disaster, they had passed through a grove of fruit trees. Xue Laohu had envisioned something sweet and intimate—maybe Shudu would pick a fruit, split it in half, and offer a piece to Xue Tuzi. Perhaps their fingers would brush, a soft glance exchanged.
But no.
Shudu had simply plucked a plum from the tree and munched on it indifferently, not even sparing a glance at Xue Tuzi.
Meanwhile, Xue Tuzi—completely unfazed—picked a few plums and handed them to Jiao Jiao, his focus entirely on the child.
Zero romance. Negative romance.
Xue Laohu wanted to scream.
How was it possible that his Shou and Gong had less chemistry now than when they had started?
Xue Tuzi, blissfully unaware of Xue Laohu's suffering, walked with calm purpose, but there was a flicker of concern in his eyes. Though he had never visited Mount Dingfeng before, something about their journey felt… off.
His fingers unconsciously tightened around Jiao Jiao's small hand.
"Xiao Jiao, please stay close to me, okay?" His voice was gentle, but firm.
Jiao Jiao, sensing his his unease, nodded quickly and scooted even closer to Xue Tuzi's side.
Xue Laohu, still pacing furiously, threw his hands into the air.
"This is a disaster."
At this rate, he wasn't just failing the quest.
He was actively making things worse.