Back at the Inn of Broomshaven...
Vastarael pushed the door open. Rainwater streamed off Biolumine's fur, Runner's mud-heavy body and the little Golden Fawn clinging to her. Asenane looked up from braiding Shimmer's hair froze. Her eyes darted from Vastarael, Runner, the fawn, the trail of mud behind them and then back to the fawn.
"Darling, why is there a glowing baby deer in here?"
Runner hopped down from Biolumine, who immediately curled up and pretended she wasn't responsible for the wet pawyprints staining the floor. Shimmer sat up straighter.
"That's the animal that dad was talking about before he left?"
Runner lifted it high like an offering to the gods.
"I CAUGHT IT!"
The fawn wiggled with pride. Asenane blinked at her step daughter's mud-caked hair and clothes.
"And... you caught it by rolling in a swamp?"
"Kind of?"
Asenane wiped her hands, walked over, stared at Vastarael and said in the most wife-ish tone known to mortal and divine realms:
"Darling, how, exactly is a deer born a few weeks ago going to guide us through a realm older than recorded time?"
Vastarael didn't even blink. "Oh, she can navigate."
"She's a newborn."
"Yes."
"A newborn deer."
"Yes."
"A newborn deer who probably thinks mud is food."
Runner: "She tried eating my coat earlier."
"...See?"
Vastarael sighed like the only sane one in the room.
"Golden Deer have a navigation ability. They can sense danger from kilometers away, detect ancient paths and they can't get lost. Not even if you throw them into shifting dimensional corridors."
The fawn sneezed rainwater onto Runner's muddy outfit, proving absolutely none of that. Shimmer shook her head.
"I don't buy it. She looks like she just learned she has legs."
Vastarael crouched and tapped the fawn's forehead gently.
"These creatures don't operate on mortal growth. Their bodies are new, but their instincts are older than most pantheons. In any case, we need to start preparing to enter the Hidden Citadel. And you all need to know the three conditions."
Runner's hand shot up like she was in school.
"Wait, conditions for what?"
"For gaining a Golden Deer's guidance."
Asenane folded her arms.
"We didn't agree to any conditions."
"You don't have to. We already passed the first one by acquiring a Golden Deer."
They all glanced at the fawn, who had climbed on the bed. Asenane rubbed her temples, already considering just how stupid her beloved was.
"That wasn't a condition, Vastarael. That was emotional torture."
Runner puffed up proudly.
"I passed though."
Shimmer kicked her lightly. "You cried. I can see your dried tears."
"SHUT UP-"
Vastarael clapped his hands once.
"Second condition."
They all went silent. He looked them dead in the eyes.
"We must find the ashes of the Broom God."
"The what? Is this another metaphor you'll explain later or..."
"No. Literal ashes of a literal Broom God."
They all waited. He didn't blink. Runner whispered to Shimmer:
"Is Dad okay?"
Asenane pinched the bridge of her nose.
"Darling, why would there be an existing Broom God?"
He shrugged.
"It's Broomshaven. Everything is broom-themed. The locals keep his ashes in a shrine near the square. We need to mix those ashes with the wine made during the Weekly Broom Festival."
Asenane slowly looked at her husband like this was a cry for help.
"You want your family to drink broom god dust in alcohol."
"Yes."
"I'm sorry, what kind of quest is this?"
"A traditional one."
Shimmer raised her hand. "What does broom wine even taste like?"
Vastarael held up a hand sharply.
"Third condition."
The room got silent again. He spoke with complete seriousness:
"You must eat a single bristle from the Special Broom."
Everyone blinked. Runner very quietly asked;
"Dad... are you messing with us?"
Shimmer added, "Because I feel like you're messing with us."
"Darling... if you are joking right now-"
"I'm not joking," he said, offended they would even think that. "It's a ritual. A very ancient ritual. My mother and father created the rules to ensure no one could access the Hidden Citadel easily."
"So you're telling us just to enter the Citadel, we need to drink a dead god and eat broom hair?"
"Yes."
Asenane threw her hands in the air. "This is absurd."
Runner giggled. "This is awesome!"
Shimmer smacked her arm. "No it isn't, we're eating brooms, Runner!"
Vastarael sighed, rubbing his forehead.
"The Hidden Citadel is where the first deities were born. My parents wanted only those determined, prepared, and insane enough-"
Asenane cut in dryly, "So... your parents."
"Yes."
"And now you."
"Correct."
Asenane sank into the bed with a very deep sigh.
"I married into a cult, didn't I?"
Because Vastarael casually reached into his portal inventory, pulled out a small clay jar, popped the lid, and dumped a handful of grey-white powder into a cup he materialized using sapphire.
"Darling, what is that?"
He held the cup up proudly.
"The ashes of the Broom God."
Runner and Shimmer both screamed internally. Vastarael smiled like this was the most normal breakfast in the world.
"I also grabbed these."
He pulled out a bundle of short, golden bristles wrapped in twine. Asenane stared at them like they were cursed hair.
"Are those from the Special Broom?"
"Yes."
"Did you steal those too?"
"Yes."
"DARLING-"
"I wouldn't let you three run around chasing broom spirits so I did it myself this morning."
"But won't they notice you stole the bristles and ashes?"
"No. During the day, the citizens of this town are brooms so they cannot see, hear or speak. They sweep. That is their entire day routine."
Biolumine hissed softly, sensing rising energy. Vastarael placed the cup of dead god ashes on his portal.
"Anyway, we need to complete the ritual tonight. We can't stay here any longer."
Asenane narrowed her eyes.
"Why tonight, darling?"
He clasped his hands once and the inn exploded. The wooden walls ruptured outward like they were made of paper. Roof beams tore free, rain slashed through the collapsing structure and the world detonated into splintered chaos. Shimmer screamed. Runner yelped. Asenane immediately braced to shield them but Vastarael was already moving.
He snapped his arm out. A shimmering sapphire sphere burst to life around the family, sealing them inside a perfectly smooth dome. Wood, stone, shattered lanterns and rainwater ricocheted harmlessly off the barrier like pebbles bouncing off steel.
The inn was completely gone, flattened into wet rubble around them. Vastarael pinched the bridge of his nose.
"I knew this would happen. I didn't destroy the inn by the way. The curse did."
Asenane's voice was dangerously calm.
"And what curse would that be?"
Vastarael pointed behind her.
Dozens... no, hundreds of wooden humanoid figures emerged from the mist and rain. Each one had bristles for hair, sweeping strokes of paint for eyes, broom-handles for bodies and arms ending in sharpened wooden grips. Their joints creaked like old floorboards. They moved in perfect unison and they surrounded Vastarael's barrier on all sides.
"Are... are those-"
"Citizens of Broomshaven, Shimmer."
Runner squinted. "They're all... brooms?"
"Yes."
"And they're angry?"
"Yes."
Asenane glared at her beloved. "Why are they angry at us?"
"Because we're Divines. The blessing and curse react to divine energy. It tries to force us out."
The nearest broom-people screeched louder, raising their sharpened broom-hands. The fawn hid behind Runner's leg, trembling. Biolumine growled.
"So what do we do now, darling?"
Vastarael dropped the barrier. Rain slammed into them again. He rolled his shoulders once, sapphire energy curling up his arms but the rain didn't make him wet.
"We fight."
Shimmer grinned. "Oh, finally."
Shimmer cracked her knuckles despite being exhausted.
"If one of them hits me, I'm setting the whole town on fire."
Vastarael pointed at her sharply.
"No using your divinities unless you want to get swept into another dimension. And I mean literally. You'll be forced out like a slingshot."
Shimmer groaned loudly.
"WHY IS EVERYTHING A TRAP HERE-"
The broom-people lunged as one. Vastarael stepped forward, Calimostria manifesting in his hand with a thunderous sapphire flash.
"Asenane, take the right. Runner, guard the fawn. Shimmer, with me."
Asenane's eyes gleamed. "Gladly."
Runner clenched her fists. "Let's go!"
The broom-people charged.