Haruno and Shizuka's suggestion to do yoga had been nothing more than a whim.
Alcohol dulled reactions, heightened emotions, but it could just as easily knock someone out cold.
And with the "sage-time" buff kicking in, excitement wasn't even an option.
In the end, after less than three minutes of stretching, Shizuka flopped face-down onto the mat, too lazy to move.
Face-down.
Butt slightly raised.
Haruno lasted a little longer. Since yoga had been her idea in the first place, she managed to resist the "sage-time" buff just enough.
Now she sat on the mat in an adorable duck-like squat, cheeks flushed, drunken eyes glazed, looking for all the world like a painting of tipsy seduction.
And of course, her face was angled directly toward Haru.
That was exactly what gave him a headache.
Both women were strikingly beautiful, their figures flawless. Especially Shizuka—she had long since passed the "girlish" and "youthful" stages, skipped right through the "alluring older-sister" phase, and had fully stepped into mature womanhood.
If this were Digimon, she could probably go toe-to-toe with a Greymon.
Precisely because she was so thoroughly "ripe," Haru didn't even need to turn his head. A casual glance from the corner of his eye was enough to catch the outline of her tall, slender frame sprawled across the mat.
And just a little further to the side—there was Haruno, duck-sitting, cheeks scarlet, eyes hazy.
She might as well have had "I am completely defenseless right now" written across her face.
For any man, this sight would have lethal effect.
And considering how mature and breathtaking they both were, just one or two more glances could easily set the mind wandering to places it shouldn't go.
Haru quickly lowered the TV volume and stood, moving over to the table. Four empty Asahi cans lay scattered across it, the plates of side dishes nearly picked clean—only a few peanuts and scraps of beef remained.
Surveying the messy dining table, he asked, almost out of courtesy:
"Do you two want to keep eating? If not, I'll clean this up."
Shizuka, still sprawled, cracked her lips open and murmured hazily, "The beef… was too tough."
Haruno shot upright. "Too tough? That beef was perfect. I ate a ton."
Haru's expression darkened. Great. Should've known better than to ask.
Clearly, neither of them was in any state to help with cleanup.
With a resigned sigh, Haru played the part of babysitter.
He carried the dishes to the sink, dumped the trash, and tidied the mess until the place looked presentable again.
By the time he came back, Shizuka had changed positions—now lying flat on her stomach across the carpet.
Haruno, meanwhile, leaned against the wall, eyes drifting upward, her voice suddenly pensive:"Haru… what do you think people live for?"
He nearly choked. Seriously? We're jumping straight to 'sage mode' philosophy now?
Perhaps it was the alcohol scrambling her logic, because her next words completely derailed:
"Haru, do you know much about yoga?"
"Not really. Never studied it."
He humored her anyway. Normally, his exercise routine was either running or swimming—sometimes stair climbing, since it was efficient, though he always took the elevator down to spare his knees.
Haruno's gaze lingered on him. Slowly, she said, "I read online once that yoga works like this: men practice the 'yu', women practice the 'ga'… and only when they come together does it become yoga."
Then she chuckled to herself. "Doesn't that sound just like those xianxia cultivation novels you told me about before?"
"Who fed you that explanation?" Haru sighed.
If Yukino or Utaha ever heard that nonsense, they'd never look at yoga practice the same way again.
"I pieced it together myself," Haruno admitted cheerfully.
Haru refused to dignify that with a reply.
Perhaps mistaking his silence for hesitation, Haruno suddenly stretched out her arms toward him, her drunken gaze soft and teasing.
"Carry me."
"Your legs broken?" he replied flatly, not moving.
"Onii-chan?" she fired her trump card.
Haru's face stiffened.
From the floor, Shizuka's head jerked up, eyes foggy. "What was that?"
Without missing a beat, Haru said, "Haruno-nee wants you to call her Haruno-chan from now on."
"Oh."
Shizuka gave a vague nod, then flopped right back down.
Haruno, meanwhile, only grinned wider, utterly unbothered, basking in her shamelessness.
"So you're really not going to carry me, Haru?" she pressed, her tone playful.
Haru gave a short laugh. "Sure."
After all these years of verbal sparring with her, he had more than enough tricks up his sleeve.
He stood, strode over, and in one swift motion hoisted each of them up—like bags of cement over his shoulders.
A moment later, both women were unceremoniously dumped onto the bed.
With a thud, Haru shut the door behind them, scribbled a note in the living room explaining everything, and left.
By the time he was gone, the two women slowly emerged from their post-drinking haze.
Shizuka sat up first, her eyes flickering uncertainly.
Haruno pushed herself upright too, but her gaze immediately locked onto her friend's yoga pants.
"Amamiya carried us in just now, didn't he?" Shizuka asked quietly, her cheeks slightly hot.
"No," Haruno corrected with a grin. "He hauled us in."
Shizuka's face burned hotter. She knew what had happened, but she'd deliberately used the word "carry" to soften the memory.
Because when Haru had thrown them over his shoulders, his grip had clamped tightly around both their thighs.
And I was wearing yoga pants.
Mortified, Shizuka buried her face in her hands. Great. Another embarrassing memory to add to the list. Damn alcohol…
Haruno's voice chimed in again: "He probably just didn't want us catching cold, that's why he brought us in."
Shizuka blinked, surprised. She didn't tease me? That's… unusual.
But then Haruno added with a giggle, "And he even cleaned up the living room. Haru's still the same as when he was little—already has all the makings of a perfect househusband."
Relieved, Shizuka lowered her hands, ready to join the conversation.
But the instant her eyes met Haruno's, she froze.
Because Haruno, with a sly little smile tugging at her lips, asked:
"Shizuka… you weren't wearing panties, were you?"
Shizuka: "…"
Haruno's grin widened, playful and just a little wicked.
"Wanna bet Haru noticed?"
"Shut up!"
"Fufu… he definitely saw."
~~~~~~~~~~
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