The water had already gone cold by the time I realized I was still standing there, getting soaked. And no, it wasn't the storm again, as I was up on the Star Destroyer, the Reborn, standing in our own cabin, taking a shower, getting lost in my thoughts. Returning to reality, I'd turned the sonic shower back to hot, letting it run at a low, constant hum for a little more before I finished rubbing my face, recollecting myself. Getting out of it, the steam clung to the small bathroom's glass, fogging the mirror and blurring my reflection, which wasn't a bad thing because I didn't really want to see myself yet.
Since everything ended and my thoughts had time to process what really happened, I was fighting with some doubts creeping up in me. Out there, on the cliff or inside the collapsing facility, right in the middle of the fight, it was way much simpler... It was easy to face things as they came. There was no overarching plot to worry about; just get in, do what must be done, and get out. Now, however, I couldn't help but listen to my thoughts, hearing more voices than just one... And they kept highlighting the issues we ignored or the mistakes we made... bringing everything to the foreground.
Worst of it all, the question that none of us even thought about entertaining kept echoing in my ears. Why not wait? We knew someone else would come, if not my Master, then Master Katarn and Master Solo... Yet, we thought we had to make a move, us, right then and there. And it cost Iowi his life...
Was it a good decision? I was no longer sure of it. In the moment, back then, fired up, lost in the feeling of the hopeless refugees, it indeed was something that felt not only logical, but the right thing to do. But was it? Really? I don't know anymore, and the more I think about it, the less I feel I know anything.
Once again, thinking about it, I swallowed hard and shook my head, reaching for my towel, rubbing my wet hair, ignoring the silence that was filled with the voices of my doubts.
After I had dried off, almost mechanically, I pulled on clean clothes without really registering that they were backwards on me, and stepped out into the rest of our room. It was just like any officer's cabin on a warship, puritan but adequate. No windows, of course, but I didn't mind that; I was not in the mood to gaze into the black hole or look down at that accursed, Sith-infected planet.
Standing there, the bathroom door slid shut behind me with a soft hiss, causing the room to feel a bit darker because the interior lights were dimmed automatically, following a kind of internal clock the ship had, signaling it was already nighttime. With a shrug, I walked to the simple bed and sat on the edge, almost falling back into thinking about the battle, mulling over what I could have done to change the outcome of our reckless assault.
That was when the door for the cabin slid aside as Vila entered, bringing in a tray with some food and drinks. She didn't speak at first, just crossed the room, putting it down on the tiny table next to the bed, before sitting down beside me, letting me feel how the mattress dipped under our combined weight.
Without hesitation, she leaned in until her weight rested fully against me, and then one of her arms slipped around my waist, the other coming up to rest across my chest, her fingers going under the fabric of my shirt and pushing me onto my back, cuddling up to me. Her lekku was then draped over me, while her leg did the same, locking me down like a wrestler. Of course, I didn't resist, and I didn't move at all.
"Hey," she murmured, her voice close to my ear. "You still here?"
"Of course..." I nodded once.
"Just checking," She muttered, kissing the side of my face.
Then, she shifted a little, climbing a bit onto me, gently pushing her face against mine, her breath tickling me while her hand began to move in slow, absent circles against my chest, as if massaging my heart. Honestly, I felt something in my chest loosen, and it... felt like a kind of relief.
"I keep thinking," I spoke up, and my voice sounded rougher than I meant it to be, "that if we had waited… if we'd scouted more… if we hadn't pushed, or just thought about it more..."
"Sssh," Her fingers pressed against my lips, silencing me, "I know," she said softly, "I don't have what you have, but I am a Jedi, too. I can feel it."
"Was it our fault?" I asked, not expecting any answer.
Instead, she shifted again, pressing closer to me. One of her hands slid up, her thumb brushing slow, deliberate lines along my jaw, coaxing my face closer until we finally kissed, and it lasted for a very long moment. I let her lead and just closed my eyes, as we became entangled. The feeling of her breath, the wetness of her lips, the way her tongue moved... Finally, my mind managed to turn off for a moment, letting me simply enjoy it and feel as if an hour had passed before we parted again.
"I don't know," she said at last, still holding me. "We can't know, and it is not good to keep thinking about it, Kael. It happened, and we are now here. He chose it," Vila added quietly. "Just like you did, Jalo did, and just like I did. He trusted the Force, so did we, and if it wasn't the right decision, we would have felt it."
"The Dark Side..." I began, but she just kissed me once again, silencing me for a moment.
"It did not matter, because it wasn't strong enough to trap us either," she whispered after letting my lips free. "You didn't order him to step in front of that blade; he did it because that's who he was: A Jedi. Don't take that away from him with beating yourself up about it... He wouldn't want that either."
"Y-yeah..." I nodded, although I wasn't sure I meant it; I did see what she was trying to convey.
"You overthinker..." She chukled as she pressed a kiss to my collarbone, "This isn't your fault," she murmured.
"I know," I said automatically.
"Liar," She huffed quietly, tapping my forehead with a flick, "Then make sure you know it up here. It seems this is not enough, hm?" she whispered, and soon, I found myself being undressed, "Let me massage you... Maybe then, you will be able to sleep."
...
....
...
I woke up from a pleasant, dreamless state... I don't know how much later it was, but when I regained clarity, I felt much more relaxed than before I went to sleep. She... she knows how to help, I can't argue with that.
"Much better..." She whispered, watching me sit up, still lying beside me, without any covers over her body, "I like it better when you smile."
"Me too." I chuckled as I watched her, and she began grinning, never once covering herself, letting me take her in, the view soothing my mind even further. That was when I heard the door chime, making her pout, but finally we both began to dress, instead of starting something... else. A round two per se.
"A moment!" I called, got out of bed, looked for my clothes, and dressed correctly this time.
"We're looking decent enough," she murmured, glancing down to confirm we were both fully dressed, "even in Sith clothing."
"Revani." I corrected her playfully, "I don't think Vestara counts herself as a Sith anymore."
"Whatever... This will do until replacement J-E-D-I robes." She shrugged, rolling her eyes while I went to the door, opening it.
Of course, I already knew who was on the other side, being my Master, waiting patiently. He paused just long enough to take us in, examining our expressions and feelings, glancing at Vila sitting on the edge of the bed, making him smile.
"Good," he said, coming in, closing the door behind him. "I knew you two would work it out. Surprisingly, Jalo is taking this much better than you two. I think he understands it better than you." He added, glancing at me, making me shrug.
"I couldn't help it..."
"None of us can." Ben nodded once, patting my shoulder, and then leaned against the bulkhead, folding his arms, looking at us both. At that moment, finally, he looked tired, even letting out a tiny yawn, his eyes drooping. "We finished the scouring of the surface, be it the retrieval of the refugees or the examination of the wrecks," he began, "Everyone who made it out alive is accounted for."
"You went down yourself?" I asked.
"Yes," he nodded, explaining, while he looked like he hadn't slept for days, "I needed to see it, and I wasn't going to let Vestara down alone." As he said it, I didn't ask what they had found, and didn't need to; he felt it already, glancing at me to answer. "The factory is gone, properly this time. Whatever that place was meant to be, it won't be producing anything again. The reaction you ignited not only demolished this part; it spread through underground tunnels that are still on fire, as we speak. Do you remember the blockage you found in that mining shaft? From the hole your survivors were hiding in?"
"Yeah." We nodded, looking at each other.
"If not for it, they would have been cooked. Behind that collapse, there is currently a fire still raging, and by my estimation, it will still go on for the foreseeable future.
"I guess... then..." I shrugged, making Ben nod, before I could continue.
"Iowi's body is impossible to find, and I don't think it even exists anymore. We can't get in further than a few levels because of the fire. It also burns at a temperature that welded a few doors shut..."
"Then we can be sure," Vila said with a relieved sigh, "That these droids won't leave from here anymore and they won't be causing more trouble in the Galaxy.
"That is guaranteed." He chuckled, nodding his head. "We are finishing bringing everything useful up, so, for now, keep resting. Both of you. We're not leaving just yet."
"And when we do?" I frowned. "Where to?"
Honestly, I expected to be sent back to Yavin... so I was surprised by what my Master said next.
"We are heading to Korriban next," Ben's expression sharpened as he said it. "I know that Jaina won't be happy that I arrive with Vestara, but this is bigger than that. From all clues, direct and indirect, we are dealing with Sith remnants, even if they are droids and not Force-wielding Dark Jedi. This is not like what happened with Dessant, nor is it some post-Palpatine nonsense. We are talking about genuine, thousands-of-years-old Sith-made artifacts."
"And the last thing we need," I muttered, furrowing my brows, "Is that they manage to stir up some kind of trouble and the Galaxy once again gets threatened by Force-wielding people. I wouldn't be surprised if we were put on a list because of it, something like... Enemy Number One."
"I don't need to be part of another Jedi purge." Vila grimaced, looking back and forth between us, "It was enough to read about it."
"Exactly my fears," Ben nodded, watching us both, "So, to avoid that, we must work together and find them, eliminate the threat, and make them return to the pages of the history books, instead of crawling around the Galaxy."