It was a normal day at the Wet & Wild Car Wash.
Mostly.
Normally, nothing really exciting happened. Horny idiots came to pay to get their cars washed while they rubbed their boobs all over it while wet and soapy.
They got paid, idiots got a show, no one got hurt, end of story.
Today was…not quite a normal day.
"Hey Boss, we have a bit of a problem." One of the Dryads came pushing into the Manager's office out back.
Chloris, the manager was handling the paperwork, the finances, payroll and all the boring stuff. Compared to most of the girls who worked there, she was more or less the brains of the operation.
And it wasn't like she could just let the owner do this stuff.
The owner was currently passed out drunk in her own office, and everyone knew not to disturb her while she had a hangover.
"What's wrong, Daphne?" Chloris asked. "Did those idiots come cause trouble again?"
"Uh, no it's…good problems? I think?" She tilted her head.
"Just spit it out."
"Oh, um. We have a lot more customers today, so we're getting really backed up. Can you call some of the girls who have today off and see if they want to come help?"
Chloris furrowed her brow. "Is there something happening in town we didn't know about? A Car show? A sporting event?"
"Uh….no? It might have something to do with the new hire."
"New Hire? What new Hire? Why wasn't I told? Dammit, did Nysa just hire another person wtihout giving me a heads up again!? I told her we had a process! She can't just hire more people because they have giant tits! Just because it's our business model doesn't mean we can ignore damn background checks. The last girl was a wanted criminal! We had the cops down our throats for months!" She slammed her desk.
"It wasn't a girl this time. Um, she hired a guy. Was kinda skeptical at first, but he hadn't really stared at our tits at all, so we didn't really say anything."
"Wait, really?" Chloris blinked.
"Yeah, I'm surprised too. The girls kept trying to see if he would ogle them at some point. And he didn't even spare them a glance. At first it felt kind of refreshing, then it kind of felt insulting. I mean, look at these –" She gestured down to her breasts. " – I'm not wearing this skimpy bikini not to get looked at, you know? I appreciate the consideration, but acknowledge me dammit."
Chloris smacked her face. "No, I meant why did she hire a guy?"
"...that sounds kinda sexist."
"We're Dryads! We usually suck men dry!" Chloris picked up a stapler and threw it at her.
Daphne ducked out of the way. "He seemed kinda enthusiastic about it. I mean, he's weird, but in a nice sorta way?"
Chloris let out a sigh. "And what does that have to do with being backed up? We still have more than enough staff to handle more customers. If anything, we're overstaffed."
"Yeah, but now we suddenly have like…double the amount of customers."
"What do you mean double?"
"I mean, Nysa put him in a speedo, and now we have an equal amount of women coming in for their cars to get washed too."
Chloris went silent.
There were words there that added together to form a complete sentence, but it took her a moment to put them together even as they were given.
"Come again?" Though she said that, she was already up out of her chair and pushing the door open to make her way out front.
Before she got to the car wash, she could see the line of cars that was going out of the drive way and down the street and even wrapping around the block.
That was most definitely more than their usual amount at any given time.
She got closer to the actual wash and heard the familiar music playing.
'Working at the Car Wash~'
She saw the girls going about their normal job. It wasn't glamorous, but it paid the bills and earned them pretty decent money in this day and age. And it meant they didn't need to go hunting for the occasional human to wring dry because now they came to the girls.
Not to mention they got pretty good tips too.
That's when her eyes landed on the new employee.
He was well built, long black hair in some kind of hair ornament she didn't recognize.
"By the Gods…" She whispered, getting a good look at his face, then trailing to his perfectly sculpted chest and muscles.
She breathed deeply as he slowly slid down the front of a car windshield, covered in soap…..front first.
The elderly woman in the car seat looked like she was getting her money's worth judging by her expression.
"I take back everything I said. This was the best decision anyone ever made ever." Chloris immediately decided on. "Do you think we can get him in a smaller speedo?"
"He's already nearly popping out….maybe?" Daphne hazarded a guess. "Hey, newbie! Boss is here, come say hi!"
Ocean Song perked up amidst his washing and came running over. "Greetings, Senior! This one is named Ocean Song, I have been learning much in my short time here so far!"
"Uh huh…."
"Um, senior, are you okay? My face is up here." Ocean Song stated.
The Manager snapped out of it and looked at him back in the eye, trying to not look down again. "Hi there, I'm Chloris, the Manager." She held her hand out, trying ot be as professional as possible. "We usually do stuff like background checks before hiring….if you don't mind me asking about your…background."
"This one is a lowly Cyclops born on a nameless island." Ocean Song answered. "Would you like references? I can present a resume."
"No, no. I think you've…earned your job." She cleared her throat. "A Cyclops…but, uh…"
She was about to say, but you're handsome, but she kind of felt like it would be both insulting and a compliment?
Not to mention Cyclops, in her experience, were kind of dumb and…hostile? The vast majority of the time, if a Cyclops found a Dryad in the wild, it wouldn't end well. Yet, she didn't feel any sort of threatening intentions coming from him.
She was very old, so she had enough life experience to gauge that sort of thing, and he wasn't pinging any of her stranger danger vibes. "What…exactly did you want a job for? Money? It can be hard making a living as a…erm, monster."
"I wished to learn your profound Dao! I seek enlightenment and progression in my own Cultivation. I have seen the prowess of your people and wish to continue to experience it." He spoke heroically.
"....right."
She had no idea what he was talking about, but she was too distracted by the fact that his speedo was in fact a tad too tight to pay any more attention to it.
"I have also come to forge alliances."
"Forge whatsit?"
"Alliances?"
"Come again?"
"Pacts of protection! Truces between our Sects! Bonds forged in steel!" Ocean Song clarified just to be sure. "Senior, my eyes are up here."
"Oh, sorry." She looked back at his face again. "What were we talking about?"
"Chloris, bad news! Those assholes are back!" A shout from several dozen feet away had her focus shifted immediately.
Ocean Song followed everyone's gaze to see a few trucks swerving down the road, ignoring any and all traffic laws. They were things of disrepair and barely held together metal. The tops on them had been ripped off because the occupants were far too large to fit in the cabins.
And the trailers just acted as more seats for the large creatures.
"Get back, Newbie." Chloris called out, pulling Ocean Song behind her almost protectively.
The trucks rammed through the only defense, an automatic gate that was meant to pace each car in line so they didn't get overwhelmed.
The girls all gathered together. A bit over a dozen different Nymphs and Dryads.
The newcomers jumped out of their trucks, and Ocean Song recognized them.
Laistrygonian Giants.
A race of monstrous, man-eating giants.
They were mentioned in the Odyssey, that's where he remembered them from. They were about eight feet tall, with crazy eyes and sharp teeth meant for tearing into flesh.
"What do you assholes wants?" Chloris put her hands on her hips. "We told you not to come back here anymore."
"The one giant at the front looked a modicum ore intelligent than his peers. The makeshift clothes he was wearing actually looked somewhat like they belonged together.
"We said if you didn't listen, we were going to come back!"
Chloris scoffed. "As if we were going to work for you and warm your beds. You must be crazy. We're not some playthings for you to pick up off the street."
Ocean Song was excited.
A battle between Sects!
On his first day!
"The Red one will be my wife!" The Giant in the front declared. "And she'll give me sons!"
"Hah, as if. The Boss is way too good for you, hairy brute."
"Pretty Ladies, Bone Crusher wants the one right there." One of the giants behind their 'leader' pointed at one of the girls in the back. "Meat looks tender. Can eat after giving children."
A few of the girls cowered behind the others.
The Giants all laughed, some of them drooled, others had looks of lust in their eyes.
That seemed to be the signal.
Unfortunately, for the Giants, it wasn't the signal for them.
A thorny vine wrapped around the giant who spoke last, it wrapped around his throat in the blink of an eye.
Chloris let out a shout, lifting him up off the ground, flinging him through the air and slamming him into the road over the fence.
Several other girls let out yells and charged forward.
He saw a water Nymph turn into a big bubble of water and wrap around a Giant's face, slowly drowning him as he did his best to scratch and claw at it, to no avail.
There was a Nymph born of a carnivorous flower that partially transformed into her origin, ripping off a Giant's arm and devouring it with a sharp and maniacal grin as the Giant howled in pain.
Behind, a Tree Nymph had roots spring from below, impaling a Giant between the legs. It let out a blood curdling scream, but that didn't stop the roots from digging under his flesh and continuing upwards.
Limbs became scatter across the ground.
They were distinctly giant limbs.
Another Nymph used some kind of charm or pheromones to have two Giants attack and try to devour one another.
Ocean Song nodded to himself.
Even as several of the girls were covered nearly head to toe in fresh blood and gore, and they wore maniacal expressions as they tore apart the giants, Ocean Song kept a normal expression on his face.
He clasped his hands behind his back, and if he had robes on, they would be billowing heroically.
It was as he expected.
He didn't show any surprise at all, because he expected just as much.
He came for the true Jade Beauty Dao, and he found it.
The Leader of the Giant was wounded, he had cuts and gnashes across his body as he frantically ran back to the trunk. Though it wasn't to run away, rather he grabbed a weapon from the back.
"Celestial Bronze!" One of the Nymphs called out as he swung it and cut through a throned vine trying to grab him.
"I'll eat all of you!" He roared, shaking the entire car wash with his fury. "I'll –"
"Shut up!" A much louder and more aggressive roar came from the back of the Car Wash. It carried with it enough force that the Giant, in the midst of his attempt to rampage, had completely stilled.
"Oh shit, Boss woke up." One of them whispered.
"Quick, hide the cash, she's going to steal it to go out drinking again!"
"I can hear you , you brats!" The same roar shook the entire car wash again until the front doors of the back building had been kicked open hard enough that they flew off the hinges and slammed into the fence on the opposite side of the complex.
Ocean Song briefly wondered what the mortals in their cars were looking at right about now behind the mists.
He then blinked, noticing that the Mists were a bit thicker than normal.
And almost like someone who had been caught with their hand in the cookie jar, the mists retracted and returned to normal.
He just shook his head, confused at what happened and decided to ignore it.
Instead, his attention turned to the person come stomping out.
It was a woman, but not just any woman.
Wearing a kimono, two horns on her head with red tips and red eyes with long black hair. She had a gourd in one hand, and an utterly massive spiked metal club in her other.
Her weapon was taller than she was, and probably weighed thousands of pounds at a minimum.
Ocean Song knew what she was
An Oni!
"Who's making all the ruckus!?" She tilted back and forth, as if drunk still.
All the girls pointed at the last remaining giant.
The Giant swallowed then stomped on the ground. "I –"
The Oni moved, looking like she just stepped forward, but she was already in front of him and swung her club.
The upper half of his body just disappeared.
"Stupid bastard, interrupting my nap!" She huffed. "No one's hurt, right?"
"No boss, everyone's fine." Chloris answered.
"That's good." Despite her apparent temperament, she seemed to genuinely cares about the girls' well being. "I'm going back to –" She stopped.
She stopped, turning to look at Ocean Song a few feet away. She blinked a few times and wave a hand infront of her own face as if to make sure she wasn't seeing things.
"Ah, I missed one."
"Wait, Boss -"
The Oni swung her club again.
Ocean Song held out his hand, and like a beam of light, his sword had entered his grip, and he raised it up to block.
His sword didn't budge even as a whirlwind was swept up from the force of the blow, causing several of the girls to get knocked over.
"Oh?" The Oni raised an eyebrow.
"Greetings Sect Master! This one is a new member of your prestigious Sect, here to learn the ways of your Dao!" Ocean Song greeted her with the proper respect.
The Oni blinked. "What?"
[Line Break]
A/N
Did you all think it was just a normal Car wash!?
Ocean Song pursues the True Dao of the Jade Beauty!
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