Sid and Tyler stared at me, all smiles as I sat down.
" Well, that was intense." Sid spoke first.
" No it wasn't." I denied.
" You should have been here to see it, Tyl, I have never felt so invisible, they were in their own little world. " Sid swooned.
" Yuck.. thank God I wasn't here. " Tyler chuckled.
I took the last bite of my sandwich.
As sid went on and on...
"... Oh you should've seen the look on his face, he was practically undressing her with his eyes.... "
" Shut the fuck up Sidney. " I said and she pouted.
The bell rang and I we all stood up and headed for class.
After five boring hours of classes it was finally time for recess.
" Exams are fast approaching people, tighten your belts...." The computer teacher said as the students walked out.
" Hey." Nathan appeared out of nowhere.
" Hi, you. What's up?" I smiled at him.
He smiled back staring at me longer than a minute before clearing his throat and speaking.
" We need to talk." He says.
" We do." I agreed. I would ask him about the red eyes.
" Cool." He said as we walked outside the block.
We sat on one of the benches in the courtyard.
There was an awkward silence.
Nate and I have never been awkward around each other. I was about to ask what was wrong when he spoke,
" About that night at the party.."
And then it hit me.
" What about it." I asked my voice a bit shaky.
" I.. we... Coco... I think I —"
" Shhhhhh." I placed a finger on his lips.
" Don't, Nate. It would ruin everything." I say.
" I know.... but I can't help what I feel. "
" B.. but it's not right. " I countered.
" Says who? Coco from the very moment I saw you, that day when.. you were hit by the ball.. I knew I was long gone... "
" No. " I shook my head.
" It's the truth Coco I've had feelings for you—"
" You can't —"
" Since day one, it's been you... "
" But I... Xavier's your friend—"
" I know," He cut me in with a sigh." That punk just had to..... anyways—"
" Nathan I can't do this with you. " I quickly said. His face dropped and his eyes watered.
" I love you, Nathan, I do. " He looked up at me his eyes filled with hurt, defeat.
I took his hands in mine,
" You are... One of the most amazing people I've ever met, you.. you are always there for me, you always know the right things to say to lift my spirits when I'm sad, you're funny and smart, half of the time you drive me crazy... " I paused and we both laughed.
" But I know I won't have it any other way.
I have never seen you that way, Nate. "
" I know. " He smiled.
My eyes widened.
" You didn't let me finish. I needed to tell you so, I can.... Move on, I guess. I knew you didn't like me like that and.. I probably would not have told you if I knew you liked me cause you're with Xavier now." He said the last part with distaste.
" We're friends. " He said.
" You're a good friend. " I smiled at him.
" Don't get me wrong I wouldn't have given up if I know you..... I would've just... waited, fingers crossed until Xavier does something to fuck it up then Bam! " He said and I rolled my eyes with a smile.
" But it's fine. I'm sorry if I creeped you out."
" No! No.. you didn't. I'm sorry too—" I started.
" Don't be. Coco, I want you to be happy that's all. Are you?" He asked.
No.
I think I like Xavier for real but that is the problem, he hates me, he's using me. And I'm supposed to hate him too.
" Coco?" Nate broke my thoughts.
" What?"
" Are you happy?" He asks softly.
" Yes. Of course I am." I smiled reassuringly.
" Then I'm happy." He says.
" Oh, Nathan." I hugged him tightly.
" Thank you. Just promise me one thing." I said.
" Sure."
" Things wouldn't get weird and awkward between us. I want us to keep being friends Nathan. Just like we were before, let nothing change."
He chuckled.
" Me too." He simply said, releasing me from the hug.
I pursed my lips.
" Awww come on, cutie, don't give me that look. I'll be fine. We are fine." He said.
" Yeah. Of course, Blondie." I smiled at him.
"Get your fucking hands off her Lawson! "
We both turned to the front and there stood Xavier, a calm expression on his gorgeous face but I knew better, he was pissed.
" Oh hush, Xavier, we were just talking. " I stood up and went to him.
" Know your limits Lawson. " Xavier warned in an ominous voice, it was almost as if he knew what we were talking about, but then again it's Xavier, he's an asshole.
" See you around, Coco. " Nathan stood up and left.
" What part of stay away don't you get, Miss Millers? " He said and I rolled my eyes.
He ran his eyes over me as if looking for injury, his then scrunched his nose.
Do I smell?
" Come. " He said, holding my wrist and pulling me with him.
" I'm sorry. " I said when we stopped.
" Of course you are" he scoffed.
" Nathan is my friend and so is Tyler and Sidney. Even though your rule is absurd I can play along for a couple of weeks but I cannot not hang out with my friends because of it. " I spoke.
" I don't give a fuck if you hang out with your friends but Lawson? "
" Nathan is my friend. "I argued.
" I don't like him. " He says.
" He is your friend too. Besides I also don't give a fuck if you like him or not. " I folded my arms.
He just clenched his teeth and looked away. I walked closer and was about to touch him.
" Don't. " He stepped back scrunching his nose again.
My heart sank.
He glanced at me for a minute before turning to Walk away.
" So that's it? " I said.
He stopped.
" You're just gonna walk away?
I apologized. " He turned to face me.
" Yeah? And what the fuck am I supposed to do with your apology? " He seethed.
" I...I..."
Fuck!
" I don't know what stupid fantasies you must have made up in your head, Colette. But get rid of it. You and I are just acting and that's it." He said.
" Don't flatter your self Xavier Cage, I fucking hate you." I said sounding stupid and unconvincing even to me.
" Good." He said, his expression unreadable.
I was foolish to even think I had a chance.
" Chance? I'm only using you, Miss Millers. Get that straight ." He said, closing his eyes at the end as if he had forced himself to say those words.
Fuck! I didn't even realize I said that out loud.
For the first time, I didn't have any comeback I was just... broken.
He opened his eyes and they softened when he saw the tears on my face.
" Fuck you, Xavier." I wiped my face shakily and ran away.