The street smelled like burnt rubber, spilled beer, and bruised pride. Sirens still wailed in the distance, though half the cops had already retreated the second Red Guardian started suplexing gang members through cars. The fight was dying down—most thugs groaning on the asphalt, Red Guardian posing with his chest puffed like a war hero, Yelena rolling her eyes, Ghost vanishing in and out of sight, and John Walker dusting off his ridiculous taco shield like he'd just saved the damn day.
That's when it hit Alex.
[SYSTEM ALERT]
New Combat Directive: Use Gauntlet.
(Recommended Action: Snap Thugs Out of Existence)
Alex blinked, deadpan. "...are you actually insane?"
Another pop-up.
[SYSTEM NOTE]
Reminder: Infinity Gauntlet is in your possession. Use it for efficiency.
Alex whispered through gritted teeth, "I forgot you even existed! And now you want me to Thanos-snap some gangbangers? On a street fight? In New York? Are you drunk?"
Deadpool leaned over his shoulder, peeking at the glowing panel only Alex could see. "Ooooh… shiny! Oh wait—you actually have the whole bling set? And here I thought this fic was just about character development and friendship. Nope. My man's out here one snap away from committing war crimes."
"Shut up," Alex muttered, swiping the system away, but it refused to close.
[SYSTEM WARNING]
Ignoring recommended directive may result in… consequences.
Alex dragged both hands down his face. "I hate this thing."
Meanwhile, on the ground, Butcher wasn't finished. He had one thug's face planted so hard against the pavement the guy looked like modern art. NYPD tried edging closer—but then John Walker decided to step in, chest puffed, taco shield gleaming in the neon light.
"Stand down!" John barked, pointing the shield at Butcher. "You're under arrest."
Butcher spat blood on the pavement and straightened up, cracking his knuckles like thunder. "Arrest, is it? You wanna be the one to try, mate?"
Walker squared his shoulders. "I'm Captain America. This is your last warning."
Deadpool snorted. "Captain America? Buddy, you're Captain Taco Supreme. Don't lie to yourself."
Walker ignored him and lunged. The street went dead quiet for that split second—until Butcher's hand shot out like a vice. He caught Walker mid-charge, twisted, and slammed him into the ground so hard the asphalt cracked.
THOOM.
Walker's breath left his lungs in a grunt. His taco-shield clattered beside him like a broken dinner plate.
The New Avengers froze. Even Red Guardian, in the middle of a victory flex, raised his brows.
"Wait… that one has super soldier serum, da?" Alexei muttered, scratching his beard.
"Yup," Yelena deadpanned, arms crossed. "And he just got ragdolled like cheap IKEA chair."
Bucky's eyes flicked wide for a moment before settling back into cold observation. Ghost just tilted her head, analyzing Butcher like he was a glitch in reality.
Alex was already there, rushing to grab Butcher's arm. "Enough. He's not worth it."
Butcher's jaw flexed, teeth grinding, but he let Walker go. The man groaned, clutching his side, pride bruised worse than his ribs.
Deadpool jumped in, raising his arms like a referee. "AND IT'S OVER, FOLKS! IN THE LEFT CORNER: OUR UNSTOPPABLE BRITISH PITBULL, WITH A BODY COUNT HIGHER THAN THIS FIC'S VIEWER DROP-OFF RATE! AND IN THE RIGHT CORNER: CAPTAIN TACO, CRUNCHED AND SUPREME, WITH EXTRA SALSA! WINNER? BUTCHER. UNANIMOUS DECISION."
Walker staggered back to his feet, glaring daggers. He was strong. Enhanced. But getting tossed like a ragdoll in front of his team? His ego bled heavier than the cuts on his cheek.
"You'll regret that," Walker hissed, pointing a shaking finger at Butcher.
Butcher spat again, eyes burning. "Try me, sunshine."
The tension was nuclear now—two storms about to collide.
Meanwhile, the rest of the New Avengers exchanged glances, silently asking the same thing:
Who the hell are these people?
And Alex? He was still glaring at the floating system box nobody else could see, whispering under his breath: "I swear, if you try to make me snap John Walker out of existence, I'm uninstalling you."
[SYSTEM NOTE]
Error: You cannot uninstall destiny.
"…you smug bastard," Alex muttered.
Deadpool leaned toward the reader. "See? THIS is why having a system in your story is peak comedy. Forget power-ups. Forget balance. Just annoy your MC until he contemplates therapy."