I couldn't help but be moved by the black bear's courtesy—appearing out of nowhere to offer a high-five aimed at my head. For a beast, it's got better manners than most people. Grateful for the gesture, I returned the greeting with a strike, and now it seems so happy it could die. The way it immediately flopped onto the ground and started rolling around—clearly this fellow was touched by my response.
Poor thing. It must have grown up starved for affection, never having been raised with love. To show its belly the moment a human hand touched it.
'Surprisingly sturdy.'
Well, jokes aside, I'd struck its abdomen with the intent to kill. But since it's been a while since I used my fists, I must have misjudged my strength—hence the result: this creature rolling around, unable to die. Being a dungeon dweller, it seems tougher than your average bear.
It's a bit embarrassing, but also fortunate. If something like this had popped out while the club members were around, an unexpected situation might have occurred. Sure, it's lying there collapsed now, but if it had been driven mad with pain and charged at the club members, that would have been seriously problematic.
'It's quite large too.'
I glanced back and forth between my fist still pressed against the bear's abdomen and the bear struggling to get up. The dungeon's a bit too wide to keep walking through on foot, and conveniently, this fellow is plenty big enough to carry a person. Alright, this must be fate.
When I walked toward the bear, it panicked, but once I showed it my fist, it quieted down. Sturdy and decent intelligence too. Is this the mystery of dungeons? Thanks to its respectable intelligence, the bear had learned the art of staying still. I patted its snout and spoke.
"You. Let's work together on something."
Lend me your back.
As expected, life is more comfortable when you have a mount. The dungeon that had been tedious to traverse on two legs could now be covered quickly, and Woongi sniffed out the harmful beasts that needed dealing with like a ghost, sparing me the trouble.
Woongi is the name I gave to the black bear I'm currently riding. When something's this helpful, it deserves at least a name. I almost went with something like "Teddy," but that seemed too cruel, so I settled on Woongi.
"You like Woongi too, don't you?"
- Snuffle...
"Good bear."
Seems like that means yes. Pleased, I stroked its head, and I could feel it trembling.
I'd heard that dungeon beasts were stronger than other animals, but never that they were particularly intelligent. Is this one a special case? Well, what does it matter? It's not like I'm a scholar researching dungeon ecosystems.
I rode Woongi around the dungeon for about another hour. If I missed anything, there was no telling what disaster might occur on the day of the picnic. It really was divine luck that I'd been able to learn about the dungeon's formation in advance. Though if it were truly divine luck, it wouldn't have formed in the first place.
'The terrain is absolutely awful.'
Right now I'm advancing by smashing through every tree in my way, but imagining having to walk this forest path with the six-member group sends chills down my spine. If even one of them gets injured, it's a horrific escort mission that would shake not just the Academy but the entire continent—and on top of that, the terrain is terrible. Is this hell?
Of course, I'd just crushed that hellish future with my own hands. I let out a sigh of relief and dismounted from Woongi's back, and he looked at me with relieved eyes as well. Seems he's realized I'm about to leave. This really isn't the intelligence of an ordinary bear.
"Woongi. There's nothing else left, right?"
There was no answer, but I could tell from his eyes. Eyes that said there was nothing left, so please get lost. I let out a chuckle at that look and stroked Woongi's head.
"Really nothing? I think there's one more thing."
- Squeal?
Woongi, who had been making sounds that said he really didn't know, gradually filled with anxiety in his eyes. As if wondering whether what he was thinking was correct, hoping desperately that it wasn't.
"You're still here."
With those words, I struck down on Woongi's head. Fortunately, unlike when I'd hit his abdomen, this time I properly controlled my strength and finished it in one blow. Since we'd developed some affection while exploring the dungeon together, I made a special effort to send him off painlessly. If you die without pain, it's a good death.
Looking down at Woongi (or what used to be Woongi) collapsed with his burst head, I felt strangely bitter. His intelligence had been decent and he was fairly gentle, so the thought had even briefly crossed my mind—could this be a story where Luize enters the dungeon and takes him as a pet? Though he was a bit large for a pet.
If this creature had any sin, it was being born in a dungeon. If I carelessly let him live and he popped out during the picnic trying to throw a surprise party, it would be awkward for everyone.
'In your next life, be born as a noble house's pet.'
After briefly praying for Gomi's peaceful rest, I turned away. Time to get out of this damned dungeon.
Ah, was it Woongi, not Gomi? Well, it doesn't matter. It's a name no one will call anymore anyway.
After finishing the temporary dungeon purification and returning, fortunately it was still before club time. Thank goodness the Vice Principal had delivered the news since morning—otherwise, the disaster of the six-member group gathering in the club room without me would have occurred. It's a bit scary to imagine. The six assembling outside my sight...
'Horrifying.'
My heart already races during regular classes when the six are scattered—club time when they're all gathered? I'd have full confidence that one of the Five might suddenly go crazy and start throwing around duel challenges. I wouldn't be surprised, but I'd be devastated, damn it. If anyone gets cocky and asks for a duel, I'll step up as their opponent. I'll beat them for real.
With such thoughts, I entered the club room and sat in my usual seat, when I noticed something unfamiliar about the club room. It seemed cleaner somehow, with a subtly more luxurious feel.
The moment I turned my eyes to examine it more closely, I spotted a single letter placed on the nearest desk. It was a letter from the Vice Principal.
'What's this?'
Why would someone I saw this morning bother leaving a letter? But since it was sent, I should at least read it.
[ I took the opportunity to replace the damaged desk and replaced everything else as well. I handled it while you were away for a moment, Inspector, in case the noise might disturb you. I hope you find the newly refurbished club room satisfactory. ]
"Ah."
A true Vice Principal...!
Having read the letter without much thought, I couldn't help but be moved. I was in awe of the Vice Principal's artful handling—saying he'd do one thing while perfectly completing ten. This is it. This is what a true person looks like. A talent more than worthy of rising to the position of Vice Principal at the Imperial Academy, the Empire's finest educational institution!
If even one of those three sons of bitches had been half as good as the Vice Principal, my job satisfaction would've skyrocketed. I'd have been confident enough to carry him on my back for my commute. I would've cherished him enough to seriously consider him alongside the Deputy Director as a candidate for the next Director when I retired.
Of course, it's a pointless hypothetical. Fucking worthless.
"Huh? Elder Brother, did you change the desks?"
That was what Luize said the moment she entered the club room. As expected of the child most devoted to confectionery, she noticed what had changed right away. The other five only seemed to notice after hearing Luize's words. This is normal—you don't need to blame your intelligence.
"They were broken, so I replaced them. While I was at it, everything else too."
"By yourself? You should've done it with us."
"Not me, the Vice Principal. If you run into him, make sure to thank him."
"Yes!"
Luize's sky-blue eyes sparkled as she walked around the club room with excited steps. Of course she'd want to check everything that had been changed. Honestly, even when I looked, I couldn't really tell. That subtle feeling where things seemed to have changed, yet I couldn't figure out what exactly.
As Luize was leading the five around inspecting the club room, she turned her gaze toward me as if remembering something.
"Come to think of it, Elder Brother. You were going somewhere this morning—did something happen?"
"Huh?"
What? How did she know?
Perhaps seeing my eyes fill with questions as I looked at her, Luize awkwardly twirled her hair and continued.
"I saw you leaving through the school gates this morning."
"So that's how you express not paying attention in class."
Considering the location of the building where Luize was attending class when I left, she really must have been staring out the window the entire time.
I gave Luize an unimpressed look for wasting a class I desperately wanted to attend but couldn't. Perhaps embarrassed, she let out a sheepish "hehe" and averted her gaze. Fine, I'll let it slide. What good would getting angry at you do...
"So where did you go? Is there somewhere nearby worth visiting?"
Whether to keep me from monopolizing my conversation with Luize or simply out of genuine curiosity about what came next, Ryutis interjected. At his words, Luize awkwardly shifted her gaze before her eyes landed back on me.
"I went to scout the picnic location and do a field survey."
"Wait, why would you need to do a field survey for a picnic? What kind of problem could possibly come up during a picnic?"
As Ryutis said this with a laugh, I stared intently at the area around his neck.
Adam's apple. I want to fucking slam that adam's apple just once. If only it wouldn't escalate into a diplomatic incident, I'd really just do it once... You're saying this in front of the torture master who just came back from preventing that exact problem from erupting?
At the same time, hearing Ryutis's words elevated my 99% certainty to 100% certainty. If I hadn't known and gone, we would have definitely entered a dungeon during the picnic. Hearing that flag-raising statement makes it certain. That devil's damn mouth. It's already resolved, but it still pisses me off.
"There's nothing wrong with being careful."
Suppressing the urge to neck slice, I answered appropriately and deliberately turned my gaze away. The moment impulse overcomes reason, the Ministry of Foreign Affairs will lose their minds and come after me.
"The cherry blossoms you can see from that hill are supposed to be incredibly beautiful!"
As I turned my gaze from Ryutis, Luize came into view. Cherry blossoms—they really do suit Luize perfectly. But "supposed to be," huh. It seems someone put ideas in Luize's head that led to the picnic being planned there. Which bastard did what bastardly thing to make my life difficult...?
"Oh, that thing Irina mentioned last time? So that's where it was."
The culprit was revealed immediately by Erich's words. Ah, Irina... So it was her. The girl who was next to Luize when I first saw her.
At this completely unexpected identity, I quietly closed my mouth and simply listened to Luize's excited chatter. If Irina was the cause, I couldn't bring myself to resent it.
Irina. Luize's closest same-sex friend. Though not as much as the five participants in the Luize Competition Race, she's still one of the people I keep an eye on. That's why whenever I have time, I discreetly check up on her situation.
And her full name is Irina Yorun. Before my Academy dispatch, she's the lady of that family who got struck by lightning from a clear sky due to the Inspection Department's friendly fire.
Fuck, you son of a bitch Third Section Chief. Your shit was still here too.
The living witness to occupational manslaughter that I encountered in this unexpected place was an existence that stimulated my guilt.