The next day, Rod and Steve moved through the surface world covered by mist. It was part of their mission to scout the surface. They needed to be aware if something showed up other than mutants, if somebody got in trouble with the mutants, or if there was any change.
Today, there was something different about Rod .
When they encountered their first mutant of the day, Rod immediately stepped in front of Steve, positioning himself like a shield between Steve and the scary, deformed creature, possibly a cat mutant.
"If the creature gets me, you run," Rod said, his voice low and tense.
"What are you talking about?" Before Steve could understand his intention, Rod had already braced himself with a machete in hand to welcome the incoming van-sized cat mutant lunging at them.
Rod fought like a madman, fiercely striking the mutant's face and throwing himself into the mutant's mouth, filled with thousands of spiking teeth. However, the mutant strongly pinned Rod down on the forest floor, leaving him in a vulnerable position as it sank its fangs into Rod's body.
"Rod! No!!" Steve screamed, barraging bullets from the rifle in his hands, saving Rod's life and steps forward while shredding the mutant's face.
The mutant leave with no choice but to escaped with a deformed face, retreating into the forest and disappearing among the thick mist.
Steve knelt down to check Rod's injury, drenched in cold sweat after witnessing Rod's super reckless stunt. "Are you alive?!" he asked, with worried trembled voice.
Steve grabbed Rod's armor, urgently inspecting him to see if he was injured and how bad the injury might be. Apparently there's no injury at all, seems like the fangs haven't harm Rod yet, he pulled the trigger in absolute right time.
Steve exhaled deeply, trying to release the remaining adrenaline now that the temporary danger seemed to have passed.
He glanced at Rod with a stern warning. "Don't you ever do that again, you hear me?!"
Rod didn't respond, instead feeling embarrassed and beating himself up even more for getting himself saved. He stood up silently and moved forward, continuing to patrol their route. The demon laughed inside his head, mocking his failed attempt to protect Steve, only for him to be the one who ended up being saved.
Steve, however, noticed something was definitely wrong with Rod . He was out of his mind! He didn't like this shifted dynamic between them. Normally, they'd work together to take down threats like this, sometimes even jokingly using the other as a shield or cracking playful comments about the mutants as they fought. But today, Rod was acting so serious, no longer engaging with Steve's attempts to lighten the mood. He was stuck in whatever storm was raging in his head, and no matter how hard Steve tried, he couldn't pull him out of it.
Somehow, it broke Steve's heart, knowing that Rod was in pain, yet the one inflicting it was none other than Rod himself. What hurt even more was that Rod wouldn't let anyone in to help him through it. The walls he built around himself made it impossible for Steve to reach him, and that felt like the cruelest kind of distance between them.
When they encountered their second aggressive mutant—a grotesque monkey mutation, now as large as an adult human male—Rod did it again. He positioned himself as a shield for Steve, throwing himself into the fight. Occasionally, the creature managed to bite him, but the protective armguard he wore prevented it from tearing his arm off entirely.
Steve's sharp mind and quick reflexes had saved them countless times in situations like this, but now Rod's reckless actions were shutting him out, preventing him from ending the fight efficiently.
"Rod—seriously," Steve snapped, frustration building. Every time he saw an opening, Rod would step in, shielding him from the mutant's attack. It forced Steve to hold back, desperately trying not to accidentally blow Rod's head off.
"I'll show you, I can protect you!" Rod grunted, desperately trying to fend off the monkey. His arm was bitten, blood streaming from the wound like a leaking pipe, but he kept pushing forward, ignoring the pain.
"Rod, I don't need protection, stop getting in my way—" Steve started to aim again, but Rod was already moving, redirecting the mutant's attack with a fierce swing of his blade.
Rod pressed the mutant monkey, still biting his arm, against a sharp rock, crushing its bone with a sickening crack. With one final, precise stab, he killed the creature, its lifeless body collapsing to the forest floor. Without missing a beat, Rod turned back to Steve, his eyes scanning him from head to toe, searching for any sign of harm.
With his bloodied arm, where the blood rushed out of the injured limb like a waterfall, Rod hurried back to Steve, who was in the safest spot possible. He checked him over intensely, ensuring there wasn't a single scratch. "Are you hurt? Did the creature touch you?"
Is he serious?! He was the only one the mutant had "touched", and now he's turning back to me asking that?! Steve blinked in disbelief before grabbing Rod by the shoulders and shaking him, his voice rising with frustration.
"Who the hell is this?! Where is Rod?! Why did you take his form?! Where did you hide my partner?! Who are you?! Return my partner at once!"
"I'm Rod , I'm Rod !" he replied, trying to calm Steve down.
Steve placed his hands on Rod's armor and pulled him close to his face. "Okay, Rod…what's going on? Why are you throwing yourself into danger? Are you trying to kill yourself? You aren't giving up life, are you?!"
"I ain't giving up, I just don't want any harm to happen to you," Rod answered innocently.
Steve released his grip on Rod's armor, taking a deep breath to calm his racing thoughts. His hands trembled, but he fought to steady himself. He had almost lost Rod twice in one day, and the fear that there might not be a third chance gripped him. No, third time would not be the charm today! He couldn't let that happen.
"Then stop acting like a fool! You completely forgot your training and just threw yourself out there like mutant fodder!" Steve raised his voice, frustration spilling over. He didn't want to lose Rod , not like this. And seriously, Rod had been acting like a fool.
"Cause I'm just a useless hunk of meat, that's why!" Rod snapped back, his voice thick with self-loathing. "Useless... cowards... I can't even protect you when you need me the most!"
Steve froze for a moment, blinking as the weight of Rod's words sank in. There was something much deeper behind this—something more than just ego or a need to prove himself through reckless actions. Steve could feel it, the real pain Rod was hiding beneath his self-destructive words.
Steve watched as Rod ripped off his gas mask in a fit of anger, throwing it onto the forest floor and stomping on it. "Fuck Cezar! I don't care anymore!" Rod shouted, his voice breaking. "I should've barged out of that stupid vent and slammed his sorry head into the table's edge, but instead, like a coward, I ran away—refused to believe he was actually doing it to you!"
With the gas mask gone, Steve saw Rod's angry face unguarded and raw. His face was flushed with rage, veins bulging on his forehead, and his eyes were wild, carrying a storm Steve couldn't fully grasp. It hit him suddenly—Rod had seen what happened to him last night. A cold rush of ice water spilled down his spine, and for a brief moment, Steve felt exposed in a way he never had before.
Of all people, Rod was the last person he would have wanted to know what happened.
"I'm just useless, stupid… a coward!" Rod choked out, his voice cracking. "All of that after I promised I would stay by your side! I can't even keep my word! What kind of man am I?!"
Steve's breath hitched, "Wait... are you saying that you…" He stepped back.
Rod's answer came short and clipped, his eyes avoiding Steve's in a mixture of guilt and shame. "…I was on the vent."
A flush of embarrassment washed over Steve, his heart shaking as he turned away. He moved to a dead tree branch nearby and sank down onto it, his posture shrinking with shame. He couldn't bear to look at Rod . The silence between them felt suffocating, and Steve's mind raced with a thousand emotions he couldn't even begin to untangle.
"I'm sorry you had to see that..." Steve's voice barely reached Rod , a quiet whisper of guilt that seemed to carry all his shame.
"I'm sorry that I failed to protect you," Rod replied, his voice is calmer now that he already release the storm in his mind.
Steve let out a soft sigh, feeling the weight of everything hanging between them. "Why do you think you have that responsibility over my safety?" he asked as he removed his gas mask, inhaling the fresh air deeply, trying to ground himself in the moment.
"Because—" Rod tried to speak, but stopped himself, realizing there was no practical reason he could give. It wasn't about logic or justification; it was something deeper. He felt that Steve belonged to him. And in that moment, it hit him—he wanted Steve all to himself. He didn't want to share him with anyone. The realization made his stomach churn. He was terrified, because that desire made him feel like he was slipping into the same darkness that Cezar had shown.
He didn't want to be that man. He didn't want to force his dominance over Steve, to suffocate him. He wanted to be someone Steve could lean on, someone he could depend on. Not someone who conquered him, who treated him like property or a prize to possess. But the fear still lingered—what if he became just like Cezar? What if he couldn't control the urge to claim Steve entirely?
Steve stepped closer to Rod , his touch gentle yet urgent as he reached out to tend to the bleeding wounds. "While you think of the reason, let me take care of it before it gets infected," he said softly, his fingers steady despite the tension in the air.
Rod , still stubborn and withdrawn, didn't fully engage. A heaviness weighed on his chest, unsure if he could truly be the safe place Steve needed, especially if he let himself fall apart. He felt foreign to himself and his capabilities, conflicted and lost in his own turmoil.
Sensing the hesitation in Rod , Steve pinched his cheek with a playful smile, trying to cut through the tension. "I bet you'd be the most handsome mutant, but this version is cuter."
That was funny, Rod thought, a small flicker of amusement rising inside him. He really loved Steve's creative and humorous way of thinking. It was fascinating to him, how his mind worked so effortlessly to lighten the mood—it was just hilarious. Even though it failed to bring a smile to Rod's face, it still managed to soften him enough to let Steve gently remove his wrecked armguard.
Beneath the broken armguard was a fresh wound from the mutant's bite. While it was mostly scratches, the telltale glisten of saliva indicated the start of potential trouble.
Steve reached into his pack, pulling out a small vial of purification water. With practiced care, he poured the liquid over the wound, letting it cleanse the area as a faint, soothing glow emanated from the fluid. Once the wound was sterilized, he quickly applied a healing salve and wrapped it securely with a clean bandage.
"There," Steve said, tying off the bandage with a firm but gentle knot. "Good as new—or close enough." He glanced up at Rod , a hint of a smile tugging at his lips. "Now, no more reckless heroics, alright? I only have so many supplies."
Rod shook his head, his eyes determined. "I'll protect you, no matter what."
Steve felt a flicker of happiness when he heard Rod's thoughts, but he also sensed a potential tragedy if Rod stayed trapped in that mindset. So, with a firm but gentle tone, he said, "Look, I like you a lot. But I'd rather see you around doing something cowardly than dying trying to protect me. Do you get it?"
"Why am I here if I don't protect you?" Rod tried to argue, his frustration clear. He was upset, feeling like Steve was rejecting him.
Steve placed a hand on Rod's nape, pulling him in gently, and then grabbed his hand. "Look, I might be pretty, but I'm still a man; I can handle myself. You hear me?!"
"Listen—" Rod tried again, his voice filled with conflict.
"No! You're useless to me if you die, you get it?!" Steve insisted, his eyes sharp but full of care.
"Why do you keep rejecting me?! Am I not enough for you?!" Rod's voice cracked, but it wasn't anger—there was a deep worry in his tone. It hit Steve like a wake-up call, making him realize what was truly on Rod's mind. It wasn't about thinking Steve was a weakling—Rod thought that was the only way to show his value, all while overlooking what he'd already given, which was more than enough to Steve.
Finally, it clicked. Rod was terrified of losing him; afraid that one day Steve would meet someone else who could offer him what Rod couldn't, and he would be replaced. That fear of rejection, of abandonment, had haunted him, especially from those he cared about.
Steve could see it now—the way Rod always seemed to feel like he was less than someone else, like he was less than he truly was. He was constantly trying to prove his worth by giving and giving, convinced that if he stopped, he'd be discarded, replaced. Steve understood now that this stemmed from Rod's relationship with Charles. Charles had only ever responded to Rod when Rod did what he wanted, and if he chose a different path, Charles would punish him with jealousy.
Steve's heart ached, understanding just how deeply those scars ran. And now, it seemed they were starting to poison their connection, making everything between them more complicated than it had ever been before.
Steve figured it was time to speak seriously, that he is nothing like his ex. But how could he say it without making Rod feel dictated to or exposed? How could he tell him without making him become dependent on his love? Steve had been under someone's control for so long; he hated being dominated. He didn't want to do the same to anyone else, especially not to Rod .
"I know how you feel," Steve said softly, holding Rod's hand, his voice steady but filled with empathy. "But you have to believe that you are enough. Maybe someone made you feel like you always have to prove yourself, or you'll be replaced. But how can you know that you're enough if you don't believe it yourself? And if you don't know that you're enough, how can you believe that, to someone, you are more than enough?"
"I don't understand," Rod said, his voice filled with confusion. "What did I give that's enough? I got nothing to give..." His eyes were distant, weighed down by the reality of his situation. Outside of this dream simulation, things were even worse. He was trapped in a toxic cycle with Charles, who tried to fix him, control his wild behavior with the threat of pain—like a circus lion forced to perform. When someone try to fix your true essence, something that makes you, you, and mold it into something else that wasn't you at all, thinking that it's best for you.... it will make someone feel like they are never enough.
"Sometimes... even your presence is already a gift to someone," Steve said carefully, glancing at Rod quietly. He hoped, with all his heart, that Rod would finally begin to understand.
"What? How?" Rod asked, still confused. The idea of just showing up and doing nothing being enough didn't make sense to him. Effort, sweat, blood, and tears—he believed that's how much someone meant to someone else, didn't it?
"Just imagine someone that you would feel happy to be with, even if they do nothing. Just being with them brings you happiness that nothing else can give." His words were meant to be a quiet confession of his feelings for Rod , but instead, they made Rod feel exposed about how he felt exactly towards Steve. However, it successfully make sense now, everything that Steve told him about just being present as who you truly are is already enough.
Steve gently squeezed Rod's hand, his thumb brushing over his knuckles with a tenderness that spoke volumes. His voice was more earnest now, his words wrapped in the warmth of genuine care. "So, Rod , please do your best to have faith in yourself, okay? You have to believe that not everybody is there to come at you. Not everyone is your enemy. Please believe that there's someone who sees you as irreplaceable, even when you think you're full of flaws. That's all I can tell you."
Steve thought to himself, This is as much as I can tell you, in hope that it can break your self-sabotaging mind. The rest is up to you, whether you want to stay stubborn or choose to change how you see the world.
He truly hoped that his words would reach Rod , that they would serve as a catalyst to break through the stubborn, limiting beliefs that had held him back for so long. It wasn't easy to change the way someone saw themselves, but Steve believed in him, and he hoped Rod would find a way to believe in himself too.
Rod misinterpreted Steve's words, thinking that Steve was implying he would let Rod go to love someone else because they weren't on the same page. The mere thought of Steve feeling that way about someone else made Rod's heart race in panic. He couldn't bear the idea of losing Steve—not now, not ever. He wouldn't let Steve go, no matter what. Self-sabotaging is crazy, isn't it?
"I want to be your partner as long as possible. That's why… I don't want you to protect me," Steve confessed, sensing the anxiety bubbling up in Rod . "I will take care of myself for you, so..."
Steve squeezed Rod's hand gently, his voice steady but filled with warmth. "Please take care of yourself for me."
Rod , his anxiety easing with Steve's words, asked quietly, "You mean it?"
Steve nodded, his gaze soft and reassuring, making Rod feel like there was nothing else he needed to prove. For a moment, everything felt simpler. And the way Steve looked at him—it was as if Rod had just seen him in a new light, more beautiful than ever before.
Rod felt like he already give so many promises that he can't accomplish. Then he realized that he throw his words around, making promises without even fulfill one of it, it's all because he want Steve to invest and keep believe in him. It was insecurity, a fear that if he did not promise him, Steve would leave.
Rod look at Steve once again, and in his tender green eyes, he can see now, this person is not Charles.
"What is your name?" Rod asks. A question that makes Steve's heart flustered.
"My name is Steve."
"Steve," Rod finally call the name for the first time.
Maybe, Steve thought to himself, maybe Rod is worth my time after all. I'll wait a little longer. Maybe if I do, I can really take him with me—out of this small, suffocating island.