"Alright everyone, settle down. It's time for the weekly meeting. Get into your seats and let's get started," Momonga said, a bandage having been placed onto his skull after Punitto Moe's "disciplinary measures".
Though he didn't actually need it, as he hadn't suffered any real harm, Ariel had still jokingly placed it on her guild leader when they were away from the death vine battle priest.
Momonga was more or less dressed in his usual attire, his magnificent robes pooling into the confines of the head chair as he lowered himself into it. The guild staff was resting in its alcove in the wall behind him, and a gavel like what an old-world judge would have lay in his right hand instead.
BANG! BANG! BANG!
Momonga hammered the gavel, ceasing all side conversations as the members of the guild focused the entirety of their attention on him. Ariel squirmed at having so many people in close proximity, though she calmed when she felt her sister's airy hand squeeze her own right wooden one.
"Relax," her sister, Tempest Aizawa the air elemental, said. "I know how you feel, but we're among friends here. Fath–um, Momonga–shouldn't take too long with this. We haven't even had anything important yet, save for the other thing."
Ariel rolled her eyes, sticking her tongue out at Aizawa's near verbal slip-up.
Though her sister didn't have any true facial features of her own, save for two specks of cobalt she could call eyes, Aizawa somehow managed to give her an exasperated look.
Ariel silently giggled at her sister's annoyed look, who's vortex body was darkening with miniature lightning storms.
Though the guild itself had only been in the new land for around nine days, Momonga had decided to revive their ancient practice of having a guild meeting every Monday of the week. Ariel was unsure how the undead Overlord even knew what day it was, until she realized that many of the grandfather clocks around the tomb of Nazarick had somehow attuned themselves to the seemingly-alien timezone. The days from her old world had continued seamlessly into this new world.
She felt a tug on the left sleeve of her white-cotten dress. She turned to see that her friend, Luci*Fer, was giving her a concerned look.
'Are you okay?' The corrupted angel signed, ending it with his thumb sticking up and spinning his entire hand in a circle. Flecks of tar from his cosmetically degraded body sizzled as it fell against the table top of their meeting room.
'I'm fine,' Ariel signed back, smiling. 'I just don't know how to handle such a large crowd if I don't keep my hands busy like this.'
'I understand,' Luci*Fer replied, flicking his index finger upwards. 'Grandfather Momonga won't take long, then we can play more checkers, yes?'
Ariel nodded, her hearing tuning back into whatever it was that Momonga himself was saying. She and the geomancer had played checkers so many thousands of times that if she and him were anyone else, they would've snapped the board in half and set the pieces on fire.
Unfortunately, Chess itself proved to be too frustrating a concept for Luci*Fer to learn, so he and Ariel had stuck to their favorite board game in the end.
"–which means that we'll have to take more stringent measures in the future when dealing with the natives. Am I understood?" Momonga asked, overlaying his fingers as he leaned forward to give them all a stern look.
Ariel felt herself nodding automatically, as did the rest of her guildmates. From the corner of her vision, she saw the sasquatch berserker Suratan idly tossing a dagger up into the air, narrowly catching the weapon by the handle as Jo-Bro and Dynamite cheered him on in whispers.
Her eyes darted to her left, looking beyond Luci*Fer to see the two dragons, Connaisdiam and Nearata, conversing in hushed tones. Connaisdiam caught her eye, to which the elder dragon knight gave her a warm, grandfatherly smile. She instinctually returned it, her mood brightening instantly at his kind gesture.
"As a side note, there was something else that I wanted to address. Something that all of us should be partaking in for the betterment of our guild's future," Momonga said, his tone deadly serious as he leaned even further across the table. Ariel's head snapped to her guild leader's position, all eyes concentrated on the highly-respected magic caster.
"From this day forward, we should make it a top priority to begin exploring and investigating different parts of this world. We have no idea what lies in the greater part of this continent beyond our home, and it would be too risky to go at it alone. Which is why I am proposing that we begin to assemble small teams of around four to five members for exploration duty."
Some of her guildmates dutifully nodded while some others groaned in faux annoyance. The skeletal mage banged his gavel twice before he could get all their attention again.
"None of that, now!" Momonga stated, merriment present in his tone. "We all know that you're just as eager as I am to see what awaits us. Nubo has been scouting the world quite vigilantly while we've all metaphorically grown fat and lazy. Yes, Tigris Euphrates, I'm looking at you."
Ariel looked at the Mongolian Death Worm, who had one of the homunculus maids hand feeding him Unagi, or grilled eel. His bulbous head swiveled as he contracted his circular maw as best as he could into a cheeky smile.
"Sorry," Tigris said, his voice muffled by the food he was eating. Ariel rolled her eyes when she saw both HeroHero and Bukubukuchagama clap the explorer on the back with slimy appendages.
"Punitto Moe and Ancient One have prepared copies of the original map that the villagers in Carne gave to Garnet, Bellriver, and I," Momonga said, relaxing back into his chair as he toyed with the gavel in his hand. "They will also be handing out their own version of the map based on the books we acquired, Nubo's diligent scrying, and the efforts of Mare and Aura. Please take the time to study them carefully, the Twins worked hard for us."
Ariel flinched at the loud scraping noise that Ancient One's obese, demonic body made when he lifted himself from his chair. His vestigial wings fluttered uselessly as he picked up a stack of papers, murmuring to himself as he seemingly counted to see if he had enough copies.
Punitto Moe got out of his chair far more easily, though the way in which vines coiled and wrapped around the furniture almost made it as if he melted out of it rather than actually standing up. He didn't even glance at his papers, a glossy print to the copies of the map made by Nubo's scrying and the books he had studied.
The two strategists took the time to go in opposite directions around the table, ensuring that each and every member of Ainz Ooal Gown had received their two copies of the map. By the time they had finished, they were left with only their own copies and directly behind their assigned seats.
The rustling of paper was all that was heard for the next few minutes as they carefully looked over the map copies. One hand shot up in the air, along with a familiar dagger.
Punitto sighed. "What, Suratan? You know you're not in a classroom right? Why the hell are you raising your hand? Put away your dagger too, dammit, you're gonna take somebody's eye out with it."
The berserker scowled, but reluctantly lowered his hand. "Yeah, I'm looking at the map. You said you were making it with the books, and what Pigeon told you right?"
"That's Surveillance Chief Nubo to you, ape-for-brains," Nubo glowered, his angelic wings flaring out in challenge.
"Plus, the Twins have been putting in some hours helping out too, you know," Bukubukuchagama chimed in.
Suratan's scowl deepened. "Yeah, whatever, but why is the map incomplete? Boss is saying he wants us to explore or something, so how are we supposed to explore if half of your map is drawn blank?"
Just as some of the other members rose up to tell the sasquatch off, Ancient One held up a single, taloned finger.
"Suratan raises a valid point, which is why I wish to direct your attention to the next point of this meeting."
Despite his hulking form, his voice was nasally and rough like tree-bark, but had an echoey undertone that made Ariel's head hurt the longer she listened to it. Despite this, she found herself enraptured with the elegant way in which the second chief strategist spoke.
Ancient One lowered his finger, wearing a contemplative look. "Say, for example, that we saw to it that we did not leave until the entirety of the map was complete, either through Nubo's persistence, the acquisition of more books, or the Twins' sincere attempts to make good on their work. This would be a weighty endeavor, and one which I do not wish to subject Nubo or the NPCs to, would you not all agree?"
Ariel and her sister nodded along with Ancient One's reasoning, as did everyone else at the meeting table.
"Furthermore," The amnizu seer continued, "Nubo must rest, as must the children. While Momonga, Garnet, and Bellriver's report all state that the natives of this land were of startling weakness, we cannot account for everything. Not yet, at least."
"Then why not send out some of those Seven-Edge Assassins that Momonga brought with him?" Dynamite, the harpy explosion mage, asked. Though she didn't have hands, she had two claws and a thumb which served as a close-enough approximation. She leaned her head against her right "hand", her army-green ballistic helmet obscuring her eyes.
"I think you mean the 'Eight-Edge Assassins', Dynamite," Nishikienrai gently corrected. His arms were folded against one another, the ribbons of his head wrap coiling themselves around his forearms.
Dynamite's cheeks took a rosy-red hue. "Uh, right. That's what I meant to say of course. Anyways," she waved off her mistake, "don't we have a ton of minions to send out? You're already sending out Buku's NPCs, right? Why not start sending out the rest of them, and let them take the fall for us if we need them to?"
"Gee, glad to know you care about our NPCs, Dynamite," Bukubukuchagama snarked, her ooze-like body vibrating with annoyance.
"I'm just saying! If we really need more info here, shouldn't we be working with what we got? We've been here a little over a week, and we still don't even know the name of the continent!"
"You're just mad cause you can't go out and explode everything in sight like you used to," Tempest Aizawa said, her cobalt eyes narrowing.
"...that too," Dynamite admitted.
"Now, now, let's get back on track here," Ancient One said, holding his hands out in a placating gesture. His vaguely amphibian face scrunched up as he prepared his thoughts. "Dynamite is right, of course, which is why Punitto Moe and I already talked with Momonga, and we agreed to send some out already."
"So what's the whole point of this little soliloquy you've prepared for us then, Ancient One?" Tepas Smith inquired, his claws rattling against the table top.
"Momonga is correct, of course. We should still explore and find out what sort of treasures this land holds, as Blue Planet and Bellriver put it so eloquently. We cannot remain in this tomb forever, and Punitto Moe and I have already begun putting plans into place to scout out any neighboring cities and towns to fully assess where we stand in terms of strength and defensibility."
"Which brings us to our final point," Punitto Moe stated, his right tendril arm practically strangling the chair he stood behind. He looked to Bellriver then, and Ariel felt a pang of sympathy at the way her miraculously-returned friend withered into his seat.
"What. Did. You. Tell. The. NPCs?" The battle priest asked, reaching into the folds of his robes and sliding out a very familiar roll of newspaper. Bellriver began to sweat bullets as his mouths puckered as if he bit into something sour.
"Oh, ya mean the whole 'take over the world' thing? Yeah, after some careful reflection, and a lot of drinking, I think it might be best if we…" Bellriver trailed off, as Punitto patted his hand with the newspaper.
"If we WHAT, Bellriver?" Punitto asked in a sickly-sweet tone of voice. Ariel felt his eyes dart back and forth between the two, debating on whether or not she should've brought her staff with her today.
Momonga sighed then, smacking the top of the table with his gavel to cut through the intense atmosphere of the room. They all jumped at the sudden noise, with even Punitto Moe blinking as he left his state of wrath.
"That was just something he said as a result of the duress he was under when he came back," Momonga explained simply, his bandage peeling off ever so slowly with each movement. "He wasn't serious, and Garnet and I had some fun teasing him about it."
"That's not what I heard Demiurge saying," Ulbert piped up, his face the picture of bliss and glee as he said his NPC's name. "He just kept going on and on and on about how we were "so smart" and that we were "completely fit for the job". He even mentioned that it would be Bellriver who would help "usher in a new age" and all that."
Does he really have to speak up now? He's not making this look better for any of them. PLEASE shut up, Ariel thought desperately.
"Albedo has been much the same way." Her eyes found Tabula Smaragdina, his facial tendrils whipped around the area as he sat. "All I hear all day, every day, is 'Momonga this', 'Momonga that', 'Momonga is the greatest of us all' and blah, blah, blah," Tabula droned.
"Did she really say that Momonga is the greatest of us all, Tabula? Or was she just being dramatic as a result of what some people I will not name did to her?" Touch Me quietly said, his usual charm and grace replaced by something… darker.
Ariel could almost feel tears well up in her eyes as she stared at the shining paladin. She had barely seen him at all the entire week, and it was not an uncommon sight to see his NPC, Sebas Tian, wander the halls searching for his master.
Touch Me's armor was as brilliant as always, on account of the fact that the maids polished it for him day in and day out. His sword glimmered just as dazzlingly, yet Touch Me cared not for them at all. Ariel had noted how he didn't seem invested in, well, anything. His attention was constantly lost to them as he would sometimes stumble about the halls, either drunk or not paying mind to whatever was in front of him.
Ariel's heart clenched for the World Champion, a title as seemingly far away as what she imagined he had lost. She knew she was not the only one to notice, as Momonga and Connaisdiam examined their morose friend discreetly.
You poor, poor man. I am so sorry.
Even Ulbert's smile was wiped off his face as he patted the paladin's back in a rare act of sympathy, his arm having to reach around the back of Momonga's chair to reach his frenemy. Silence reigned as they allowed Touch Me's continuous sorrow to wash over them, an aura as thick and as powerful as that of their killing intent.
"Yes, well…in any event, Albedo is very much still in love with you, Momonga. I haven't been able to manipulate her settings whatsoever, so for the foreseeable future, that's a problem," Tabula finished, breaking away from Touch Me's lamenting.
"Hmmm...what about the Twins, Buku'?" Punitto asked, snapping himself out of his thoughts. "Have they been saying anything of note about this 'World Domination' nonsense?"
"Not especially. I've been mostly spending time with them, talking to them, and even baking with them!" Bukubukuchagama reported, her child-like voice regaining its usual gaiety. "We made cookies!"
Punitto swiveled to the samurai. "Takemikazuchi?"
"Cocytus just keeps giving me really odd looks. I can't figure it out. When I ask him about it, he just gets nervous and suddenly has to go training," Takemikazuchi said, Yamaiko sitting directly to his right as she nodded in confirmation.
Punitto turned to the animated armor. "Garnet?"
The sentinel shrugged. "CZ doesn't really talk unless you talk to her first. And even then, I haven't heard anything from her about this."
This went on for some time, as Punitto and even Ancient One, from time to time, would ask each of the guildmates if they had heard anything from their respective NPCs.
"Welp, that settles it then," Punitto Moe said, slamming his scepter against the ground. "We should nip this in the bud before it spirals out of control. I know the NPCs mean well, but we need to play this as safe as possible. We should all talk to our own NPCs and let them know that for the moment, we will NOT be doing anything like taking over the world."
"For the moment?" Mekongawa repeated, baring his teeth in a predatory grin.
"It's an expression man, he really means not ever," Jo-Bro said, his saurian tail smacking the chimera beast tamer in the back of his mane. The allosaurus monk tightened his hand wraps as Mekongawa bellowed out a laugh at his friend's antics.
The table dissolved into smaller conversations more or less, and many of Ariel's guildmates got up and excused themselves as they went off to do their own thing. Ariel picked up the maps she had been given earlier, comparing the one that Nubo had been able to make from his divinations, and the one that Momonga had gotten from the village of Carne earlier that week.
I wonder what this E-Rantel is like? the fey shaman pondered as she looked at the only city with a sloppy charcoal X drawn on it.
Luci*Fer hovered past her, a trail of acidic tar following him. The corrupted angel gave her a questioning glance over his shoulder.
'Are you still up for some checkers? Or did you want to go and do something else?' Luci*Fer signed to her. He did not turn the whole way, but rather seemed to turn sideways so Ariel could still see his hands.
As Ariel was about to answer, she noticed how Momonga took on an aura of paranoia as he shot his head around to the leaving guildmates. Once he must've felt safe, she saw him get up from his seat and dash to the nearest door with an eagerness she hadn't seen in him for a long time.
Ariel blinked as she started to sign back to the geomancer. 'Later. I need to go and talk to Momonga real quick. We'll play later, I promise.' Ariel replied, placing her index against her lips as if to shush Luci*Fer, before slamming her palm against her non-dominant hand clenched into a fist.
'Say hello to grandfather for me,' Luci*Fer signed, linking up with Yamaiko and Garnet as he left the meeting room himself.
Ariel waited until the last guild member had left the room, before quietly leaving through the same door that she saw the skeletal Overlord leave through. Thankfully for her, the hallway was extremely long, and she caught the tips of Momonga's onyx robes flowing in the wind around the corner. She shoved past two of her other guildmates, Ra Ra Rasputin and Grievous Sin, the two letting out exclamations of startlement at the fey's surprising strength.
As she turned, she once again only saw the tips of Momonga's robes fluttering towards another hallway that she recognized, if the swirling designs were anything to go by.
Why would Momonga be heading towards the armory? Did Amanomahitotsu need something from there?
To call it an 'armory' would be a generous term, Ariel reflected as she dashed after her guild leader. It was merely a bedroom- sized area that had, at most, a couple stands of plate-mail armor and racks of straight steel swords. The real armory was all the way down in the Treasury, where she imagined Genjiro had gone after the meeting.
As she flung open the doors, intent on discovering Momonga's true purpose, she barely registered the sounds of mechanical footsteps behind her, the momentum of whoever was behind her slamming into the fey's body.
Ariel and her mystery guildmate tumbled into the room, catching sight of a black-armored warrior standing in the center of the room, being handed one of the straight steel swords from a nearby maid that looked suspiciously like Narberal Gamma.
Ariel tumbled to a stop on the soft, beige carpet, hearing the tell-tale signs of steam and gears clicking inside of the body of her guildmate. She shoved him off of her without effort, giving a small glare to Ra Ra Rasputin, the automaton gunslinger.
Though he had no real facial features, his optics were expressive enough on their own, being a bright, searchlight yellow. Steel plates had been welded onto his avatar in the past, which helped to define basic necessities like a nose, cheeks, and a vague impression of a closed mouth. Various seams from the plates ran up and down the gunslinger's face, revealing multi-colored wires underneath.
Bursts of steam erupted from his gun-metal expression, shoving a chrome plated digit in Ariel's wooden face as more whirs erupted from his body, increasing in speed and intensity with his agitation.
'I'm sorry I bumped into you like that! I was in a hurry and I didn't mean to shove you,' Ariel signed, starting her phrase by rotating her right fist over her chest in a clockwise motion. She aimed for an apologetic look, even throwing in something that was as close to ashamed as possible.
The pistons that had flared out on either side of his head like a bull's horns slowly retracted at her appearance, his outburst of hot air dissipating as well. The automaton shrugged, drawing in the fey for a hug.
Ariel froze, allowing the unexpected affection and patting the gunslinger on the back. Her pointed ears lowered as she kicked herself for accidentally hurting her friend. She disengaged, granting him a tight smile as she turned back to the armored warrior.
"I swear, whatever you're thinking, this isn't what it looks like," the black armored knight said, his voice positively identifying him as Momonga in Ariel's eyes.
She crossed her arms and tapped her foot, her impatience growing as she awaited his answer.
Momonga sighed, the maid that was next to him stepping behind him to give the disguised Overlord center-stage as he shifted from boot to boot.
"As you're aware, Punitto Moe and Ancient One have been hard at work compiling the maps that everyone was given today. Since you were all present at the meeting, you also know about my plans to have everyone go out and explore for a bit."
Ariel gestured for him to move along to the main point of his argument.
Momonga took off his helmet, showing off his skeletal appearance, his twin flames for eyes twinkling. "I thought that I would be among the first to enact my plan. I had planned to do this in secret with only Narberal here, but seeing as how the both of you barged in, I think you'll make suitable replacements for our resident pleiade."
A jet of compressed air escaped Ra Ra Rasputin then, drawing Ariel's and Momonga's attention. He pointed to several parts of Momonga's armor, before sweeping his arms wide as if to ask, 'so why the outfit?'
"I believed that it would be best if I tried to create as balanced a team as possible. So in order not to arouse any suspicion when I left, I thought I might don this old armor, and bring a magic caster from the Tomb with me. Though with you and Ariel, you'll do just fine," Momonga explained, his tone taking on a more humored tone.
"My Lord, if I might make a suggestion?" the maid behind Ariel's guild leader requested. She got a good peep at her then, seeing how the pleiade wore her black hair into a long ponytail. She wore black and gold armor in the form of one of Whitebrim's maid outfits. She wore a cream bonnet, and her expression was one of calm indifference.
"Go ahead, Narberal. What do you have to share with us?" Momonga asked, his boots unintentionally stomping as he moved out of Narberal's way.
"Thank you, my Lord," Narberal inclined, not missing a beat. "If it might be of any assistance, you should bring CZ Delta along with you. She can help to translate for both Lady Ariel and Lord Ra Ra Rasputin, due to their unique methods of communication."
"That would be best. Please go and retrieve her for us, would you?" Momonga said, moving to open the door to the pseudo armory. Narberal took her leave, her battle outfit clanking as the folds of its skirt brushed against one another.
There the three guildmates waited, Momonga setting his helmet down on the desk behind him, which had previously been obscured by his mighty bulk. Ariel grasped a nearby chair for herself and the gunslinger, the both of them sitting as they awaited for the other battle maid.
The doorknob shuddered as the door itself was opened, allowing a much shorter pleiade through. Much like her sister, she too had an armored maid's uniform, only for it to be accented with camouflage colorations and a camouflage scarf. She had red-gold hair that reached down to her lower back, and she wore gloves of the same color as her scarf. A leather eye-patch covered her left eye, while her right eye was an emerald-green crosshair, like from a rifle scope, for a pupil.
She knelt before the lords of Nazarick, lowering her head in respect and reverence. "How might I be of service to you three today?"
Ariel was taken aback at how monotone the pleiade's voice was, though if she recalled how Garnet, her creator, had made her, she was an automaton internally much the same way that Ra Ra Rasputin was externally.
"I need you to see if you can somehow translate for both Ariel and Rasputin here. We were going to go practice adventuring as preparation for when we actually adventure," Momonga hastily added, hoping his lie would cover up his near slip up.
CZ tilted her head. "I shall do as you ask, though I do not comprehend why you wish to lie to me. Is this some form of test of my faith?"
The Overlord shook his head vigorously, holding his hands up in an inoffensive manner. "No, no, of course not! I just don't want us leaving to be common knowledge. If everyone heard we were going to E-Rantel, then they would all want to go. We need to keep a low profile, and we can't do that by having us all traipse around the place."
CZ righted her head in acceptance of his answer, pivoting on her heels to focus on Ra Ra Rasputin. "My lord, if you may, would you please activate your messenger? I believe I may have a solution to your communications issue."
The gunslinger let out a snort of steam, incredulous, but held up two fingers nonetheless to one of the pistons on the side of his head.
BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!
"The messenger operates on a system of verbal communication, as has always been in the past from the last world," CZ Delta explained, holding up two fingers of her own. "But since our arrival, my creator has been experimenting with how it functions in this Third World, and I believe that Lord Garnet has discovered an invaluable way of keeping in touch over long distances."
Her visible eye glowed as numerous streams of computational data streamed across her vision, feeding her info that Ariel could not even begin to comprehend.
"If I may, my Lords, what I wish to do next will require that I gain access to all of your messengers. Do I have your permission to continue?"
Ariel felt herself being swept along by the unintentionally dramatic moment, nodding numbly as her messenger pinged. She moved to hold up two fingers of her own, activating the magical system of communication.
"As you can hear, Lord Garnet noticed that there was a unique relationship between the summons of Lord Momonga and Lord Momonga himself," CZ's voice echoed inside of her head, her words apparently coming from every direction at once.
The three guildmates whipped their heads around, looking for the source of CZ's new omnipresent monotone. When their eyes rested on the automaton pleiade, they noticed that her mouth hadn't budged, her face as cold and as welcoming as that of a prison cell wall.
"When Lord Bellriver returned, Lord Garnet noticed that the skeletons that Lord Momonga summoned would often respond to his commands without him needing to say a word. My creator believed that this method could have more widespread applications, and after much trial and error, he discovered what you are all hearing now," CZ Delta finished, shutting off the messenger and thus her telepathic explanation.
Ariel recoiled as she felt CZ's presence leave her mind, almost shivering at the intimacy that all three of her guildmates had experienced. Momonga stared off into space, lost in his thoughts most likely, while Ra Ra Rasputin's cybernetic optics had a peculiar glimmer to them. He eagerly held his fingers up to his messenger, pinging Ariel.
She answered, and static blared in her pointed ears, intensifying as broken speech stumbled out.
"I can hear...you. I…can speak to you…" Ra Ra Rasputin's piercing tone said.
His mental words had a heavy, grating accent that Ariel could not identify, and the way in which her friend spoke was slurred, as if he had been drinking the entire day.
Ariel's mouth trembled as instinct clawed its way from deep in her subconscious, yet she stomped it back into submission. Her hands quaked as she hesitantly responded back.
"Yes, yes you can. To think that you've gone without a voice for so long. It must be a miracle indeed," Ariel responded, her own mental voice echoing over what seemed a vast and peerless void. It was bizarre to hear another person inside of her own head, but she found that the weight of Ra Ra Rasputin's mind was becoming more and more comfortable over time.
"Is, uh, is everything alright?" Momonga asked, snapping the shaman and gunslinger out of their cerebral connection, their respective messengers powering down.
Ariel sensed unadulterated joy blossoming within her core as she realized the significance of their discovery, while Ra Ra Rasputin more or less basked in the glow of his own revelations. A soundless laugh wheezed out of Ariel, while more bouts of steam and other hot gases escaped from the body of the automaton next to her.
"Yeah, I'll take that as a yes," Momonga said. "Why don't the two of you get ready, if you're not already. Once you're both done, we can meet up back here and teleport out of here with no one else the wiser."
Momonga paused, swiveling to face CZ. "If you would like to, CZ Delta, you could round out our little party quite well. Seeing as how you're already here, it would be a shame to just let you go."
The pleiade bowed her head. "Your words do me honor, my Lord. I would be more than happy to accompany you, Lord Ra Ra Rasputin, and Lady Ariel to wherever you wish."
"Excellent. You'll need a disguise though. There's nothing wrong with your gear as it is, but it might draw attention to us if you were to come as you're dressed now."
"Would it be safe to assume that Lady Ariel and Lord Ra Ra Rasputin will be wearing disguises as well?"
"That would be an excellent suggestion as well. We might even need new names if we're really going to go through with it."
Ra Ra Rasputin had already gotten up, his guild ring glowing as he twisted the head of it around his middle finger three times. He vanished in a flash of light, leaving behind the faint smell of motor oil and car polish.
Ariel herself was brushing off some of the stray leaves that her shoulder length hair produced in an endless waterfall, collecting in a small pile around her feet when she felt the vision of her guild leader eyeing her.
She was just about to tap the gemstone on her own guild ring when a blur sailed through the hair out of the corner of her eye. Superior reflexes than what she was used to caught it without thinking, revealing a medallion with the image of a bisected woman who was half-zombified. Her questioning glance was enough for Momonga to answer.
"I know you don't wear the most covering clothing, like Yamaiko or Takemikazuchi, and that you could reasonably be a human if one squinted from far enough away, but it is better safe than sorry," Momonga explained, gesturing to the artifact.
When Ariel held it up to the light to better examine it, a thin chain fell down across the back of hand, indicating that it was a necklace. The beams of the room's exquisite chandelier refracted through the medallion as if it were cut from a precious rock rather than any metal she knew.
"The illusion placed on that Amulet of Greater Hel is not particularly strong, as Bellriver so passionately told me, but it'll be more than enough to fool the humans while we go adventuring."
Ariel raised an eyebrow at the way that Momonga said "human", as if it were a term better used to describe a particularly interesting rodent or fish. She filed that tidbit away into the recesses of her thoughts, for when she could better ponder those implications later.
She gave a small wave to her guild leader and the pleiade, who was changing into something more civilian-friendly. Then she teleported out of the smaller "armory", and directly into the Treasury.
Webs like nets were catching in her avalanche of leaves she called hair, with some even getting into her mouth as she hacked them back up.
Genjiro must be back to working on the Treasury's organization again...I wonder how far he'll ACTUALLY get this time?
…evidently, he had made astonishing progress.
The arachne trapmaster slung across the ceiling with webs like the old world American hero Spider-Man, catching various bits of gear and currency in his silky lines that Nearata, the golden dragon merchant, threw up to him. Everytime a new piece was caught in the makeshift system, another pleiade, Entoma, would spin through the air, pulling on various strings to have the equipment move across the treasury like a conveyor belt.
It was the most beautiful and strangest feat of acrobatics she'd seen thus far, though she wondered why Nearata himself did not bring himself up into the air to join them.
Her question was answered when a puff of orange flame flew from Nearata's nostrils as he simultaneously appraised and threw up each item to Genjiro and his creation, nearly catching the entire series of webs on fire.
"DAMMIT, Nearata!" the elder arachnid's rasp called. "How many times have I told you to cool it with the fire? This is the sixth time I've had to re-spin these webs!"
Nearata's scaled eyes narrowed. "I am a dragon, little spider. I have no more control over my new body's functions anymore than you do when you sneeze."
"Ha! Jokes on you, I haven't sneezed since we got here!" Genjiro shot back, pausing in thought. "Wait, is that normal for spiders? Should I be sneezing, Entoma?"
The petite maid giggled into the oversized sleeves of her dress, lounging on a strand of web high in the air. "You made me, Papa! Shouldn't you know this sort of thing yourself? But if it helps, I haven't sneezed at all since we arrived here either."
The trap master released a strange, suctioning laugh, before finally taking notice of the fey shaman below him.
"Oh! What's up Ariel? Sorry, I didn't even see you there. Let me just get down so I can properly say hi," Genjiro said, using a nearby rope of silk to climb down. At the last couple of feet, he hopped off, landing on all fours with Entoma not too far behind.
His skin was an ashen gray, riddled with stiff bristles up and down his entire body. His midsection was vaguely humanoid, but he possessed two different-sized pairs of arms. The larger pair he kept lowered to the ground in a canine-like crouch, while the smaller pair were far too short to reach the floor but seemed more suited for delicate dexterity when needed. Each pair of hands ended in three wicked sharp claws, while his legs were digitigraded and were topped off with flat protrusions not unlike hooves.
The mandibles on his face tittered as his lower jaw split in two and a barbed tongue slithered out, tasting the stagnant air. If Ariel were still human, she would have fled in terror at the sight of such a monstrosity.
As it stood, she embraced the arachne instead.
Entoma still rode on Genjiro's back, giving the fey shaman an excited wave that Ariel eagerly returned. Nearata strode forward, adjusting the enchanted monocle that he always wore. Ariel disengaged from the trap master and moved to hug the golden dragon merchant.
He held up a hand to stop her. "I am not one for physical affection, little fairy. You know this."
Ariel rolled her eyes, but smiled and complied with his wishes.
Nearata wore a royal purple suit and tie, a pinstripe white shirt complementing the attire he chose for today. Even in his lesser dragon form, he was still too bulky to wear proper pants, as his legs were also digitigrade and his feet ended in four ivory talons. The scales on his belly and underside of his tail and neck were of the same color as his claws, and his hands ended in a thumb and three fingers.
A row of thorny spikes ran up the length of his back, hefty wings buffeting the room with a minor draft. His serpentine neck led up to a snout like a battering ram, a crown of spines framing his jaws and being overshadowed by the opal, ram-like horns above his ear holes. His eyes were a soft amber, and had the sort of cool intelligence that would just as soon strike a bargain with another as it would cut them out of a deal.
Another cloud of smoke billowed from the dragon's nose, being sucked into the pipe that Nearata chewed on. "How might we help you? Genjiro and I have been hard at work putting this treasury back to order, so we would appreciate it if you do not cause too much of a mess."
Genjiro slapped his forearm, producing a metallic din from the merchant's natural armor. The arachne made another suctioning sound in his version of a sigh. "Don't be rude. Last I recall, you're the one lighting all my hard work on fire with you and your dragon… ness… es."
Nearata hummed in thought, taking his pipe out and stamping a dried leaf into the large opening. "Forgive me, Ariel. I'm a tad grumpy today, as we've been working at this for a little over six hours now. I would enjoy retiring to my chambers and being tended to by my maid, Suriya."
Genjiro rolled all eight of his seafoam green eyes. "Anyways, what can we do for you, dear? Need to get some gear?"
Ariel shook her head, activating her messenger instead. Nearata and Genjiro gave her confused glances as they accepted her pinging.
"I just need to get my cloak," Ariel telepathically said, startling her guildmates. "I forgot to grab it when we went out the first night for Bellriver. It wasn't important then, but I figured my outfit didn't look complete without it."
Nearata hummed again, puffing his pipe as he allowed Ariel's words to flow over him. Genjiro was practically bouncing on the tips of his limbs as he heard Ariel in his head.
"That's. So. Cool!" Genjiro squealed, skittering about Ariel's smaller form with the same janky motions of a cockroach. "You can actually talk with your mind? How does it work? Can you read my thoughts too? Do you see what I see? What happens if I think of a number-"
"Patience, little spider," The golden dragon droned, taking another puff. "I've just about had enough for one day. How about we finish our work, and then you can inform the rest of our guildmates? It's an interesting development, I'll admit, but one I would like to discuss later."
Genjiro's boundless energy dispersed as his natural instincts took over. "Right! Uh, Ariel, you can head over to the armory or mausoleum or wherever your cloak is. Everything over there should be finished. Just make sure to take off your guild ring."
Ariel was walking past them by that point, giving them both a polite wave without looking behind her. Entoma scuttled across the wall as she got back into position for her own job. The sounds of more and more gear being shifted around by the unlikely trio gradually faded as she went deeper into the treasury.
A pang of regret panged through Ariel as she lied to her friends, for she had already grabbed her cloak sometime ago, shortly after they had brought Bellriver home.
…home, huh?
It was an alien thought to consider the guild base as her home, but as she spent more and more time within its walls, it had begun to take on the same air of familiarity as her and Riku's, her sister's, old apartment. The walls and statues which lined the halls no longer seemed hostile, and now welcomed her with open arms with each passing sunrise.
Her thoughts turned to Touch Me again, who had slipped a flask from under his cloak in the meeting room earlier that afternoon and discreetly drank it as he left. Ariel imagined it would be another long day for the paladin, as he mourned his losses and slipped into alcoholic induced comas in his living space.
She was so lost in thought that she only remembered to take off the ring just as the guardians were stirring to life, immediately deactivating once the guild treasure was no longer worn. She stomped up to the crude statue of herself in the mausoleum, bypassing Momonga's NPC entirely without even saying hi.
Her cheeks burned as she took in the rough likeness of her fairy form, completely devoid of her garments. It had been a kind gesture from Momonga, but as she stared longer and longer at the statue, well…
He really, really sucks at sculpting, Ariel thought, amused, as she knelt to the base of the statue.
A small string was shoved into a crack she had left there some time ago, not too long before she herself had quit the game the first time. As she yanked on the cord, a dull thud echoed out, the crack swinging inwards like miniature doors as she reached inside.
She pulled out a white marble wand that was rimmed in burnished gold, a massive pearl serving as the head on one end, while a silver spike was on the other. It was no longer than her hand, but it was a gift that was far more valuable to her than anything else in the treasury.
It had been a Christmas gift one year, during the height of Ainz Ooal Gown's power, at a party she could hardly remember the details of. She had been thoroughly drunk that evening, from another private party she and her sister had hosted for some close friends.
Out of all the people to gift her the wand, a Wand of True Resurrection, it had been Variable Talisman. He shuffled his feet, his head, which had morphed into its usual shape of an anvil, was downcast.
He meekly held it out to her, unable to meet her eyes:
"This is for you," the mimic had mumbled. "I'm sorry about the things I said about you and to you. It wasn't right of me to blow up at you like I did. Your vow is your business. I'm sorry."
Variable Talisman melded back into the crowd of guildmates before she could express some form of gratitude, but it had been something she held dear to her heart ever since.
Oh, Variable. What a terrible fate you've been met with, huh?
The memories faded, and she got back to her feet. She swiftly left the mausoleum then, teleporting the moment her foot left the guardian's borders to go to her room. She assembled her outfit and teleported again to the same room that Momonga had been left in.
Momonga was more or less dressed the same, only now he carried dual broadswords the same color as his armor on his back.
CZ Delta stood at his side, donning a forest-green cloak in place of her camouflage. She wore a padded tunic and pants, various plates of steel interspaced at regular intervals around her body. Her signature rifle was slung across her back, concealed by the massive pony tail she had done up.
Ra Ra Rasputin's outfit was far more extravagant in comparison. His face was completely covered by a gas mask he wore, ribbed tubes extending over his shoulders and into a pack on his back. The environmentally sealed outfit he wore hid the rest of his automaton body and, like CZ, he had several plates of Star Silver covering his vital areas.
His dual revolvers, Point and Shoot, were nestled on his hips alongside a short rapier. Ra Ra Rasputin held a well worn, leather cowboy hat in one hand as he picked out stray pieces of lint off the torn cloak he adorned himself in. He was whistling a merry tune with the natural sounds and clicks of his mechanical form, only stopping once Ariel entered the room.
"Are we all ready to go?" Momonga asked, placing two fingers where his ears would be to activate his messenger. Ariel's and Ra Ra Rasputin's messengers pinged in kind.
"Time to see… what lies beyond," The gunslinger answered, his slur from earlier steadily fading away with each word from his mind. Ariel only nodded, tapping the head of her guild ring. Ra Ra Rasputin twisted his ring three times around his middle finger, while Momonga grasped CZ's shoulder and clenched his hand that his ring was on into a fist.
To Ariel, it was a literal blink of her eye. She felt nothing when they teleported, which she supposed she should be thankful for, as she could only imagine what it would be like if they truly felt the magical costs on their bodies that their rings took on instead.
All around them was a sea of spring-time trees, in full bloom and transitioning into what felt like the summer time with the heat that assailed Ariel's compact form. The Amulet of Greater Hel grew warm above her bosom as its illusion magic took hold, hiding her true self from unaware humans.
The only thing she noticed that had not been hidden was her outfit, which had thankfully remained the same. Though she imagined that her wolf skull helmet would attract attention, as would her dire bear skin cape, she would still wear it with pride, for it had been her very first set of true divine-level gear.
There was a clinking of coins then, and Ariel saw that Momonga carried with him a small pouch of what resembled copper coins. She gave her guild leader a questioning glance.
"Money from our first ever job in this new world," Momonga explained, tossing Ariel her own bag of coins. "We'll need it to pay for room and board at the adventurer's guild. I imagine that you'll most likely want to buy something to eat along the way as well."
Ra Ra Rasputin turned his new allowance over in his hands, savoring the sounds of copper as they cascading against one another in the bag. "We will find the… adventurer's guild, right?"
Momonga replied by walking out from their small alcove of trees and onto a dirt-trodden path. Ariel, CZ Delta, and Ra Ra Rasputin followed, not wishing to be left behind in the dust. Already the sight of thick, stone walls lay directly ahead of them, innumerable travelers entering and leaving the city like a group of agitated ants.
Ariel tightened her grip on her iron-wood Staff of Spirits, the mana crystal in the center of the staff's curled top oscillating with her emotions. A hand clasped her shoulder, and already Ariel could feel her desperately beating heart dawdle to a stop. Ra Ra Rasputin caught up to his hand, and he gave her a reassuring look, or at least as reassuring as his mask allowed.
"Will… you be alright?" The automaton asked. "I could detect… your heart rate. Do you… need to rest?"
Ariel shrugged off his servo for a hand, crushing the anxiety that plagued her in that moment. "I'll be fine. Just don't do well with crowds. So long as you guys are with me, I'll be fine."
Ra Ra Rasputin gave her a full-handed salute, causing a medal he wore over his right breast plate to jangle with his movements. It was a simple pin, a piece of cloth that was striped with the colors white, blue, and red. A brass star dangled beneath it.
Huh, kinda odd that I never noticed that before. I wonder where it came from, Ariel pondered, mentally filing the medal away as a curiosity to explore for later.
They had reached the gate, where a portly man in a combination of chain mail and half plate gave them a once over. He grunted in approval, jerking his thumb over his shoulder towards a collection of clean brick buildings.
"Welcome ter' E-Rantel,'' The guard said. "Don' cause no trouble, and we'll get'r along fine. Ye look like adventur'rs. You'll find the Adventur'r's Guild that'a way."
Momonga muttered his thanks, dropping a copper coin into the guard's outstretched hand. Ra Ra Rasputin, Ariel, and CZ Delta passed him without incident, though Ariel could feel the guard's lecherous gaze bore into her and CZ's backs.
Though the sun was high up in the sky without a cloud in sight, Ariel shivered, and drew her cloak closer around her. To take her mind off of her rampant thoughts, she took in the details of the city around her.
From her rather limited education she had received in elementary school, she guessed the architecture to be somewhat similar to Medieval England. Many of the colorful and downright childish pictures of knights in shiny armor saving princesses inside of great fortress cities couldn't hold a candle to what she bore witness to.
Many of the buildings looked to be handbuilt, smooth stone work giving the street they walked on a uniform yet distinct look. Metal work was also rather common, many light fixtures were present at street corners at regular intervals around the city, most likely illuminating once nightfall arrived. The cobblestone streets were worn so smooth by the treading of footwear that if Ariel took off her hide sandals, she imagined she couldn't tell the difference between being barefoot.
The citizens they passed all wore simple clothes, a combination of single-colored tunics to more elaborate dress shirts and skirts for the richer folks of the city. Each man and woman stared straight ahead, their destination already clear in their mind's eye, Ariel believed.
Eventually, after ample time had passed for Ariel to fully count the amount of single-colored tunics that each peasant class citizen could wear, they found themselves in front of a cheap and run-down hovel. The sounds of lively chatter could be heard from inside, as could the slamming of wooden tankards on tables.
Momonga paused at the door, simple swing-ins like out of a Wild West saloon in an old world movie. He pushed them aside, light filtering into the dimly lit tavern inside. They spread out across the floor as they either took a barstool or leaned against a wall of their choosing, save for Ariel's guild leader and Garnet's creation.
As Momonga walked up to the counter to speak with the bartender, CZ following him, Ariel scanned the room to see several of the patrons were already passed out. An equal amount remained sober, either tucking into afternoon lunches or filling their cups with whatever ale was available. The smell of stale beer and ammonia filled the air, and Ariel's lips pursed at the smell.
"Ha! Almost reminds me of… home," Ra Ra Rasputin commented, his messenger pinging hers. "Just throw in some drunk farmers… and their sons, and I couldn't tell the difference."
"And where is your home, Rasputin?" Ariel found herself asking, their telepathic conversation providing them privacy even in the semi-crowded bar.
Ra Ra Rasputin optics grew distant, almost as if he were looking past Ariel and everything else, all the way back to a land he could never return to. He sat on a barstool, but stood up as if he could get a better vantage point for seeing past the wall.
"I was born in The People's Republic of Russia," the gunslinger responded, Ariel's eyes widening in surprise. "Moved to Japan some time after the… Fourth Corps War. We couldn't… afford America. We were told that Japan was the next best thing."
Ariel scoffed. "Whoever told you that was full of shit. NOWHERE would've been better than Japan, of all places."
"Not necessarily," Ra Ra Rasputin responded cryptically. "Thought my accident would've been my end, but here we are… in a new place, a better place."
Ariel's harsh emotions tempered as she recalled what she knew of the mute automaton, who spoke with whistles and steams just as much as his newly discovered method. When she had first met Ra Ra Rasputin, he was wordless in much the same way she had been, even relying on the same text-to-speech system that she had utilized.
At first, Ariel had assumed that the gun-loving player had taken up a vow of silence much like her, but as time passed on in the guild of Ainz Ooal Gown, she quickly realized otherwise.
Everytime that Ra Ra Rasputin wished to have words written by hand or engraved onto his gear, he had to have either the auto-complete feature of Yggdrasil do it for him, or have another player from the guild do it. Ariel theorized that Ra Ra Rasputin may have been illiterate, only for that to be debunked once she caught him in the Ashurbanipal Library of Nazarick.
He had been crouched over a book, slowly pronouncing each word on the page that he was reading. His words were slurred and clipped, as if he were trying to hide that he was drunk. Ariel had hid behind a stack of books and watched her supposed fellow mute for some time, until she had accidentally knocked over that very same stack.
When Ra Ra Rasputin had looked up and spotted the fey shaman, he fled immediately, not providing any opportunities to catch up with him. His book was left open, and when Ariel closed it to see the cover, the title was "ABCs for Beginners".
When she communicated about it to her other guildmates, they simply shook their heads at her and told her to "drop it". And so it went that way for years, until Ariel quit Yggdrasil for the first time, the life of Ainz Ooal Gown washed away by the sands of time as her real life took over.
Only now the world of Yggdrasil, or whatever she could call this land, was her real life, and what she did and could do seemed boundless, at least for the moment. She reevaluated her stance with Ra Ra Rasputin, mustering a deep breath.
"When we get home Rasputin," Ariel started, "I'm gonna help you get better. I don't care what I have to do. I'll even get Yamaiko and Shijuuten to help, by the Goddess!"
Her passion swept her up so fiercely that she missed the curious and contemplative glance that Ra Ra Rasputin gave her, growing still. Yelling from the bartender drew their attention then, as Momonga likely concluded his transaction, whatever it may be. He turned on his heel to Ra Ra Rasputin and Ariel, CZ Delta following obediently.
"That was fruitful," Momonga said, clutching a rolled up parchment in his hand. "Let's head up to the room. We can discuss our plans further there, and then once we've had some time to breath and take in the sights, we'll go register ourselves at the adventurer's guild. Sound good?"
The party nodded in agreement, passing by a table full of various drunkards on their way to a set of stairs. One of them whistled as Ariel and CZ walked by, their eyes roaming to places they shouldn't be.
"Heya, babe," the man called out, his head shaven and three scars in the shape of claws ran across his right eye. "Where ya going? The day's still young, how about I help you out of that heavy cloak and helmet you like so much."
"Yeah," another slurred, noticeably younger with more boyish features. "We could make it a party! Ditch your buddies and come join us! We'll make it worth your while."
Ariel scoffed, turning away from her would-be harassers with a thump of her staff. The boyish drunk's soft hand shot out, gripping Ariel's forearm with barely noticeable force.
"Hey! Don't you know it's rude to ignore somebody while they're talking to ya? I could be inclined to forgive ya, if ya spent the night with me-"
He never got to finish, as the barrel of CZ's rifle slammed against his forehead, shoving the goon off of the fey shaman. The shuffling of twin revolvers met Ariel's ears as Ra Ra Rasputin aimed at two other drunkards who had started to rise out of their seats, drawing daggers from their belts.
To Ariel, it seemed to happen in startling slow motion, but as she thought about it, it seemed her friends had actually responded with brutal efficiency and speed.
It was so quiet a pin could be heard dropping, only broken by the sound of the bartender slamming his fist against the countertop.
"Goddammit, Raja! Stop bothering my lady customers! You're scaring away my business," the bartender snarled, his mustache and beard quivering in rage.
The first goon, Raja, held his hands up in surrender as the barrel of CZ's gun pressed harder against his accomplice's temple. "E-easy now. We were just kiddin' around, right l-lads? I know a cannon when I see one, even if it's hand-held."
The rest of his gang vigorously bobbed their heads, paling and sweating enough to fill several buckets at the killing intent of the guild mates.
Ra Ra Rasputin holstered his revolvers, shoving one of the gang, a thin man with his hair done in a bun, against a nearby patron's table.
A woman with untidy red hair sat with her head leaning against the table, a dopey smile on her face as she admired a blue potion. The man slammed into the table, causing the potion to flip over and over itself in the air.
Time seemed to slow down as the potion began its descent towards the dirty floor, the red haired woman crying out as she watched her beloved potion fall. Just as the potion was about to shatter, a massive glove shot out, catching the bottle in the nick of time.
Ra Ra Rasputin let out a transparent steam blast of relief, placing the potion back on the table. The woman beamed at him, her smile growing brighter once the gunslinger placed a silver coin in front of her.
Ra Ra Rasputin pushed onwards, giving a sly wave over his shoulder as he ascended the stairs to wait for his guildmates.
Ariel wasn't far behind, giving the seated woman an apologetic grin. Momonga followed after them both, while CZ flanked the party with her rifle still in her hands.
The goons scurried out of the bar as Ariel and her guildmates came upon a long hallway with about six doors on either side. Momonga slid past her diminutive form, heading to the third door on the right, a key finding its home in the lock.
They filed past their guild leader in single file, waiting until Momonga actually closed the door and locked it before they spoke.
"So what have you got for us, Momonga?" Ariel asked, pinging the Overlord's personal messenger.
"I managed to acquire a rudimentary map of the city," he said, sitting on the floor so that he could spread the map across. "I was also able to talk to the bartender about some of the jobs we would be able to do, and what was most popular. Really, the whole system is quite similar to Yggdrasil, so we should have no problems fitting right in."
Ariel and the others nodded, though CZ's free eye glowed as she read the map, most likely downloading a digital copy for later use. They joined Momonga on the floor as he pointed out various parts of the city, his armored finger tracing along the circular walls of the city.
From what Ariel could guess, the city was divided up into several layers of rings that housed various districts, ranging from commerce, houses of nobility, market places, general housing, and more.
"I suggest we hold onto this map for now," Momomga suggested as he finished pointing out the different sections of the city on the map. "When we return home, we give this to Punitto Moe and Ancient One to study and make more copies of. By then, I also imagine that Nubo will have discovered more cities and towns for our guild to explore."
"With all this exploring… and adventuring, we could've been a part of Trinity," Ra Ra Rasputin remarked, pulling the rim of his hat over his eyes. "Good thing I'm a machine. All this walking… would've made me sore."
CZ cracked a ghost of a smile, thumping her hands to an unfamiliar rhythm as she sat next to the manufactured player.
"At this point, we very well could be," Momonga said, taking off his helmet to reveal his skeletal face. "We won't stay here for long, just enough time to maybe take in the sights, before we head off to the guild. We'll get registered, and then we can start adventuring."
"Just like the good old days?" Ra Ra Rasputin asked, lifting the brim of his cowboy hat.
"Yes, Rasputin!" Momonga said with such giddiness and warmth that a green aura shimmered around him. "Just like the good old days!"
—-
"Sir, I have already told you, your rank is far too low for you all to qualify. I can't risk it."
"And as I recall, madam, I said to consider this quest done."
"Sir, as copper plates, you would prove to be more of a liability than anything. This quest is asking for mythril plates."
"I am aware. You'll find us more than qualified for the job."
Ariel pulled her wolf skull helmet down over her eyes so that she didn't have to pay attention to the absolute circus show that was going on right now. Registration for a copper plate had been rather straight-forward, if a tad lengthy. If Ariel never saw ten official documents all asking her for her weight, height, and previous adventuring experience, it would be too soon.
Ariel assumed that once they'd actually filled out the necessary paperwork, it would be as easy as going up to the receptionist and requesting, well, a quest. It wouldn't be until they actually tried to sign up for said quest that they ran into their first obstacle.
Her guild leader had struck upon some half-cooked scheme to try and get them a copper ranked job after they had realized that none of them, even CZ Delta, could read the text on the flyers.
"This written language matches no known language registered within my databanks," CZ had said, shaking her head. "I apologize if I have displeased you, my lords. If you wish, I shall recompense with my deactivation upon Lord Garnet's approval."
Ariel and her guildmates had to make it extremely apparent that they wanted no such thing, even as CZ unslung her rifle and loaded a single bullet for her "repentance" back home.
Ra Ra Rasputin made a show of carefully reading each and every flyer posted up on the board in the adventurer's guild, even if he was truly as illiterate as the rest of them. He shook the thin parchment papers as if force would convince the words to speak themselves to him.
They stayed frustratingly silent.
I guess he's lucky that he can actually do that. Not like anyone can see what he's thinking with that stuffy gas mask he's wearing, Ariel thought privately, sitting at a nearby table and immersing herself into the folds of her oversized dire-bear cloak.
Thankfully, it seemed that Momonga was incapable of raising his voice, and his patience never depleted as he tried to wear down the clerk for quest registration.
Finally the clerk sighed, closing her eyes as she took a deep breath. She gave her best customer service smile as she reopened her jade green eyes.
"If you would like, Sir…?"
"Momon," Momonga said, using his very, in Ariel's opinion, uncreative name he had made for his adventurer's persona. "And these are my compatriots. The one with the skull helmet is Aria, the one with the leather hat is Roger, and the one with the ponytail is Cerise."
"Well, if you would like, I could sign you all up for the most demanding copper plate quest that we have, Sir Momon. It's not much to begin with, but you can quickly advance to iron rank just by completing this quest."
Ariel hung her head, banging it against a nearby wall. She spotted Ra Ra Rasputin's fingers twitching above the grips of his revolvers. CZ had no outward reaction, though Ariel doubted the pleiade would've complained anyways.
A hoard of adventurers had semi gathered around the guildmates, whispering among themselves at Momonga's dramatic demand for such a high level quest. As it would seem, to Ariel's consternation, it had worked for them getting an actual copper plate quest without having to read the flyers.
Gotta say, Momonga, if it's stupid but it works, then it's not stupid.
Just as Ariel was getting up and grabbing her staff, ignoring the leers that some of the other adventurers were sending her way, a new voice called out to them:
"Hey guys, you four could join our adventuring group if you're interested."
Ariel turned, taking note of four other adventurers who placed themselves before Momonga as he turned around. Ra Ra Rasputin came forward, as did Ariel and CZ, planting themselves on either side of their guild leader.
The one who had spoken first was a blonde man with blue eyes, with unremarkable but smooth features. He wore a chainmail outfit that consisted of a mesh top over a leather shirt. A sword was strapped to his waist.
A bulky man stood to his left, Ariel's right, with a massive but well-groomed beard that covered his mouth. His eyes were squinting so closely it seemed as if they were perpetually closed.
To the bulky man's left was a thin, tall man who also had blonde hair but brown eyes. His expression was cheerful, flirty even, and already he was eyeing up CZ and Ariel as if they were sweets in a candy shop. He wore simple leather armor and pants, a bow slung over his shoulder.
On the right of the first man who had spoken was a significantly shorter man with brown hair, blue eyes and exceedingly boyish features. He was pale, and adhered to the group's theme of wearing all leather, though he wore a rather tasteful cloak that trailed behind him.
The longer Ariel stared at him, however, the more she could feel that something was off about the much shorter man. She couldn't quite place her finger on it, but it almost felt like–
"Your offer is very kind, good sir. Might I have the pleasure of knowing your names?" Momonga said, slashing through Ariel's thought process.
"My name is Peter Mauk," the man who spoke first said. "The druid with the beard is Dyne Woodwonder. Our ranger is Lukrut Volve, and our magic caster here is Ninya!"
The man, now named Peter Mauk, gestured to each of his teammates in turn, and the shorter man, Ninya, blushed slightly at his introduction. Ariel raised an eyebrow at that, though her helmet hid her face well.
"You don't believe that eight individuals will be over-capacity for an adventurer's group?" Momonga asked. "We would hate to burden you with the extra numbers that my group and I bring."
"Not at all! We would be happy to help you folks out, and for the kind of bounty we want to go after, we're gonna need all the help we can get."
Ariel tilted her head at Peter's words, wondering what could possibly warrant bringing along eight different people just for one bounty.
Ra Ra Rasputin must've been of the same mind, because he took a single step forward as he raised a hand.
"A good offer, and a pleasure to meet you," Ra Ra Rasptuin said. "But if you don't mind me asking, what exactly do you need our help for? You seem perfectly capable on your own for a quest, so why do you need us?"
Peter smiled and struck out his hand. "Hi! A pleasure to meet you! I can't exactly see your face, but you look like you have a question. Go ahead and ask away!"
Ariel, Momonga, and Ra Ra Rasputin froze, as they realized just how the automaton had asked his perfectingly normal question.
Shit! We got so used to talking with the messenger we forgot we can't talk out loud! How are we gonna manage something like working with another team?
As Ariel's panic mounted and her chest constricted tighter, CZ made her debut, swooping in to save her masters.
"Lord Roger and Lady Aria both have taken vows of silence, so I will speak in their stead, if they so permit it," CZ said in her usual monotone, her right eye giving Ariel a sideways glance.
Ariel could only agree to CZ's proposal numbly as she wrestled for control over her emotions.
"That's perfectly fine," Peter said without skipping a beat. "They're really lucky to have you around, then!"
"Quite the opposite," CZ Delta deflected. "If anything, I am quite fortunate to have them."
"In any event, what exactly did you hope to accomplish with our extra numbers here? Not that we are ungrateful for your offer, but we are eager to know more," Momonga interjected.
Peter smirked then, his cheerful and nice personality replaced by something far more outgoing and adventurous. "I was doubtful that we could do it before, but with your four beside us and with how well you're all armed, I've no doubt we could do what we want to."
Peter flashed the guild members of Ainz Ooal Gown an award-winning smile. "We're gonna do what nobody has ever attempted to do: we're gonna try and capture the Wise King of the Forest!"
—-
Much later that evening, at an undisclosed location
A cloaked figure roamed a lonely street in the dead of night, a soupy fog swallowing the features of the world beyond. Trees that were stripped of all their leaves stood as towering sentries that pierced the night sky, their bark rotting and pitted with holes.
The fog curled and looped around the figure as they made their way down the path, humming a jaunty tune to the sounds of heels clacking against the worn stone. They sauntered along for what could have easily been hours, when in reality was but mere minutes.
A decrepit crypt emerged from the fog as the figure approached, the moon light accentuating its harsh edges and ancient architecture. A flight of steps led up to the main entrance, which the figure skipped with a merry tune. A gust of wind tusseld the hood of their cloak, allowing a few stray strands of blond hair to come loose.
As the figure entered their destination, they let loose a feminine giggle as they stared at the floor, a dias which had the heads of gargoyles carved into it.
"This is it," the figure said, pushing on one of the heads. Something within the dias clicked, and it slid back agonizingly slowly to reveal another set of stairs leading into the bowels of the earth. The figure threw back their hood, revealing delicate and cat-like features. Their hair was cut short, and within their twin eyes of ruby lurked the hints of bloodlust and sadism.
"I'm coming down! I hope you're ready for me," the figure, a youthful woman, called into the shadows. The shadows gave no reply, prompting her onwards. The woman shrugged, her cloak opening slightly to show somewhat skimpy armor, expertly hammered from various copper colored plates that covered her extremities.
She continuously descended until she reached a dank cave bathed in limelight, the dripping of water echoing throughout the cavern.
Several marble pillars lined the path she walked on, violet crystals providing the minimum light needed to light the way. She came upon a circular area that had smaller versions of the pillars along her path, though each was a differing height than its neighbor.
"Khaji'," the woman sang, "I need to talk to you, old man. Where are you?"
Drip. Drip. Drip.
The woman grunted, tapping a foot as another shape shambled out from behind a rocky outlook. His robes were the color of blood, and a gold chain bearing three skulls hung from his neck. He was well beyond his years, and exuded a sickly aura.
"I told you to stop calling me that," the man rasped as he clutched his staff. "I thought you and I had reached an agreement on that, last time we saw one another."
The man turned to face her fully with a displeased expression. "Which reminds me: how did your latest trip fare? I'm assuming your due diligence in returning means everything went well with your little project involving Brain and his mercenaries?"
The woman tittered, twirling a thin, shining circlet around her index finger on her left hand. "I was wondering if you'd ever figure that out. However, I thought you might be interested more in this, and a little something else…"
"Khaji'" gasped as he beheld the artifact in the woman's hand. "By the Master! You managed to actually snag one of the fabled Crowns of Wisdom?! To think you were hiding such an important treasure from me all this time! The shaman princess wearing that would not part with it willingly."
"Oh, I know," the woman said. "The sweet little thing was going crazy while wearing it. So I did her a favor and snatched it off her pretty head."
"Khaji'" stared wearily at the woman before him, but greed and desire overcame his restraint. "And the other thing you mentioned? Am I correct to assume our 'mutual issue' has been dealt with?"
The women gained an especially prideful gleam. With her other arm, she tossed out a metallic object onto the floor, striking the stone with a dull thud. It rolled to a stop before his feet, revealing a bloodied helmet in the shape of a blackened skull.
"You'll be happy to know that Zuranon's rivals have been dismantled. The Knights of the Weeping King will never bother our little operations ever again."
Khajit's eyebrow rose in commendation. "I'll admit, I didn't think you could pull it off. They've been a nuisance for nearly two centuries to Zuranon, unwilling to remain down for good. Well done, Clementine."
The woman's eyes glittered with barely suppressed madness. "Yep! They were hardly any trouble, but I believe now that you owe me a little something in return for my help, Khajit Dale Badantel."
Khajit growled at hearing his full name, pointing an accusing finger at the blond woman. "I don't answer to 'Dale' anymore. Invoking my full name so carelessly is more liable to get you into trouble, Clementine."
Clementine merely bounced on her heels, her smile widening.
Khajit sighed as he seemed to age another ten years in a single moment, switching tactics. "Just touching that circlet could've been your end. As a former member of the Black Scripture, you fully know that that circlet suppresses the wearer's soul and turns them into a magical conduit. There's a one in a million chance that we find a suitable match to harness its full potential. That being said, what do you want from me?"
Clementine's face nearly split open from her deranged grin as she gave the true reason for her return.
"Taking out Zuranon's rivals and snagging this little tinkling toy for you, you have to help me as a fellow member of the Society of Zuranon. I've been doing my research, and I've heard rumors of a talent holder who could use it without issue. Think you could help out little ol' me?"
"I doubt you need my assistance in kidnapping a defenseless boy."
"Normally I wouldn't, but I plan to create a bit of an uproar in the process."
"You mean to use chaos as a means to finally escape the city?" Khajit deadpanned, tapping his staff against the ground.
"How about this; I'll participate in your ritual, if you're a good boy and help me out," Clementine enticed, stretching her arms above her head.
Khajit gave his own malicious smirk. "You seem to be a gift that just keeps on giving today, Clementine. I'd be a fool to turn this offer down. Let's figure out how to grab that talent holder."