Heimdall's poker face made it impossible to read any emotions.
Thor looked confused. "The Tesseract? How'd you get your hands on that thing?"
"Someone gave it to me," Mario said with a shrug.
When it became clear he wasn't going to elaborate, Thor didn't press the issue. Instead, he stepped forward enthusiastically. "Could I borrow your Tesseract? I want to use its power to repair the Bifrost."
The benefits were obvious. Not only would it make visiting Jane easier, but it would also help suppress the rebellions spreading across the Nine Realms.
Mario saw the fish taking the bait and wasn't about to let the opportunity slip away.
"Sure, that's no problem. But you know my rule, everything has a price. Think you could help me build my own Bifrost?"
"I can provide all the materials. Just give me the list of what you need."
Heimdall stepped forward. "The Bifrost is an extension of Odin's divine power. It's also a unique ability of the kingdom of Asgard. Without those two conditions, creating a Bifrost is impossible."
Mario hadn't known that. He'd assumed the Bridge was just a matter of rare materials and engineering genius. But hearing Heimdall's explanation, it made perfect sense. Otherwise, why would Asgard have only one Bifrost? If it were really just about resources, the All-Father would've built ten of them by now.
"Well, in that case, forget the Bifrost." He pulled the glowing blue cube from his inventory and tossed it between his hands. "I can lend you this, but I'll need some compensation. Things like the Eternal Flame, the Casket of Ancient Winters, or even that fancy Infinity Gauntlet gathering dust in your vault. Any of those will do."
He wasn't worried about Odin trying to keep the gem. After all, both the Reality Stone and the Space Stone had been hidden on Earth by Asgardians. And given that Loki had wielded the Mind Stone during the Battle of New York, Odin could have easily controlled three Infinity Stones at once if he'd wanted to. The old man clearly had his reasons for keeping them separated.
Thor looked completely baffled. He knew those items were in his father's treasure vault, but he had no idea what any of them did. Loki had snuck into that vault more times than him, which said a lot about which son Odin actually favored.
Too bad Loki wasn't even his real kid.
"Those things you mentioned are all my father's collection. I don't have the authority to give them away." He scratched his head awkwardly. "I can take you to see him, though. But he's fallen into the Odinsleep again. We don't know when he'll wake up."
In other words, Mario would have to wait.
He wasn't surprised. The last time Odin had gone into his "sleep," it had been deliberate, forcing Thor to mature faster through trial by fire. As for Loki falling off the Bifrost, that had been an accident. Frigga had already sensed through her magic that Loki was alive, so Odin hadn't bothered searching for him before entering his slumber.
After all, Loki wasn't his real son.
"In that case, forget it for now. I'm not in a rush. There'll be opportunities later."
Like when Asgard gets destroyed and I can help evacuate the civilians while "liberating" whatever treasures are left behind. Thor might even thank me for it.
Suddenly, a thought struck him. He'd arrived just fine via the Ancient One's portal. But now he couldn't get back.
Thor had destroyed the Bifrost, and Mario had no way to contact the Ancient One from Asgard.
After thinking it over, he pulled the Space Stone from his inventory and tossed it to Thor.
"Go ahead and repair the Bifrost first. As for payment, just get me two regular small spaceships, one for research, one for flying around."
Ordinary ships were cheap compared to the massive warships. What he wanted was something like Star-Lord's Milano, not some enormous battlecruiser like Thanos commanded.
"No problem!"
This time Thor agreed immediately. He didn't even need to buy such things, Asgard already had plenty. Compared to repairing the Bifrost and restoring Asgard's connection to the Nine Realms, this was a trivial price to pay.
"Come on, let me show you around." He walked up and slung an arm around Mario's shoulders. "I think you're gonna love this place."
They left Heimdall alone on the Bridge, walking together toward the palace.
When they crossed through the great metal gates at the end of the Bifrost, Mario finally set foot on actual Asgardian soil.
Looking at the magnificent scenery, he couldn't help but exhale in awe. "Damn. It's beautiful."
And it was. Golden spires stretched toward a sky painted with cosmic nebulae. The architecture blended advanced technology with classical European design, creating something that felt both ancient and futuristic.
"Could you set aside some land for me? I'd like to build a house here."
"Only Asgardians are permitted to live in the palace city. But... You're a powerful sorcerer, and I sincerely invite you to join Asgard! Become one of us!"
It was a clever compromise. Thor didn't want to reject Mario's request outright, but he also couldn't violate his father's rules. By offering citizenship, he shifted the decision back to Mario. Whether he accepted or not, Thor wouldn't have to feel conflicted about either outcome.
"Joining Asgard... yeah, I think I'll pass. I'm more of a free spirit, you know? And honestly, I doubt your father would want someone he can't control living right under his nose."
He glanced toward the distant palace where Odin slumbered. "I'll just find a suitable planet somewhere in the Nine Realms and slowly build my own place."
Thor wasn't disappointed by the answer. "Fair enough. Come on then, let's hit a tavern and have a few drinks!"
They arrived at a residential district. More and more people appeared around them as they walked, greeting Thor enthusiastically. The God of Thunder responded to each one with a bright smile and a wave, treating them all like old friends. There was no pretension of royalty, and distance between prince and people.
That's actually pretty cool, Mario thought. No wonder they follow him into battle.
They reached a tavern that looked like it had been transplanted directly from medieval Earth, pushed the door, and stepped inside. His expression froze.
If the outside of Asgard carried the sleek feeling of alien technology, the tavern's interior was straight out of eighteenth-century Europe. Rough wooden tables, pewter mugs, the smell of mead and roasted meat hanging heavy in the air.
THUD!
Just as they entered, a massive figure collapsed from a barstool to the floor. The crowd erupted in cheers and jeers.
"WHOOO!"
"Marley's down after just three barrels! What a lightweight!"
"Anyone else want to challenge the record?"
"I'll do it!"
"Me too!"
Even Thor was getting pumped up. He turned to Mario with a grin.
"Do you drink? Want to join in?"
Mario looked at Thor, and slowly raised one finger.
Thor frowned. "One cup?"
Mario shook his head.
"One barrel?"
Still shaking his head.
"Then how much?"
Mario's grin could have split his face in half. "Keep drinking until we can't anymore."
---
The next day, Thor woke up in his own bed with a headache and a mouth that tasted like something had died in it. Thankfully, Asgard didn't have whatever alcohol-cutting chemicals Earth bars used, so the hangover was relatively mild. Just thirst and the vague sense that he'd made some poor decisions.
"Ugh..."
He looked around but didn't see Mario anywhere. If it weren't for the Tesseract sitting on his bedside table, he would've thought everything had been a dream.
"I actually lost a drinking contest to a sorcerer..."
The thought was hard to accept. He'd been drinking since before most mortals were born. He was an Asgardian, blessed with divine constitution and legendary tolerance. And yet some sorcerer from Midgard had drunk him under the table.
He quickly stood up, grabbed the Tesseract, and headed out to deliver it to the craftsmen working on the Bifrost repairs. He needed to do something productive to salvage his wounded pride.
Meanwhile, Mario sat on the Rainbow Bridge with a fishing rod in hand, chatting with Heimdall. It had to be said, the guardian really did know a great amount of information about the cosmos.
He felt a tug on his line and gave it a gentle pull. An enchanted book glowing with magical light flew out of the waters below the Bridge.
"Fortune III? Nice! My luck's looking up."
He pocketed the book and turned back to Heimdall. "Hey, if I took an Asgardian ship to Morag, how long would the trip take?"
"Morag?" Heimdall's golden eyes flickered. "I'm sorry, but I don't know where that planet is located."
Heimdall could see every corner of the Nine Realms, but not the entire universe. His vision had limits, even if those limits were impossibly vast by any other standard.
"Alright, I'll figure it out myself eventually."
Just as he was about to ask whether there were any other ways to travel quickly between Earth and Asgard besides the Bifrost, the air once again rang with the sound of something breaking through it at high speed. Thor came flying in, Mjolnir spinning in his hand.
BOOM.
He landed on the Bridge with enough force to crack the surface. Before he could say anything, Mario's voice drifted over.
"If it isn't Asgard's very own God of Wine himself. How's the head feeling, Your Highness?"
Yesterday, swept up in the crowd's enthusiasm, Thor had drunk until he collapsed on the tavern floor. He'd been carried back to the palace by his friends while Mario had simply walked back to the Bifrost to chat with Heimdall.
"How did you do it? Did you use magic?"
That was the only explanation Thor could think of. How else could someone with such a normal-looking build outdrink an Asgardian god?
Mario reeled in his fishing line, stood up, and smiled innocently. "Not exactly magic, more like a rule. I simply can't get drunk. It's like how water naturally flows downhill. It's just how things work for me."
Thor's expression went through several rapid changes before settling on annoyance. "You could've mentioned that before I started!"
"Yeah, I could've. But where's the fun in that?"
Thor opened his mouth to argue, then closed it again. He couldn't actually dispute the logic. Instead, he changed the subject. "Come on, I'll show you the ships now."
Mario's curiosity was instantly piqued. Spaceships were one of his greatest interests, and one of the main reasons he'd come to Asgard in the first place. "Let's go! I've been waiting for this."
A few minutes later, Thor grabbed Mario's arm and they flew together toward what looked like a massive port facility. When they landed and Mario got his first look at the rows of parked Asgardian vessels, his expression became rather conflicted.
Dozens of spacecraft stood in neat formation, and they all looked like... Viking longships.
"Uh..." He gestured helplessly at the fleet. "Do you have any ships that look, you know, normal? I don't think I can handle flying one of these without feeling ridiculous."
Thor looked confused. He pointed at the smaller vessels hovering nearby. "These are light cruisers, Asgardian patrol craft. They're very useful and can travel through space just fine."
Mario could see he wasn't getting through. He pointed toward a massive battleship floating in the distant sky.
"Look at that ship up there. See how it's shaped? That's the aesthetic I'm talking about. These ones with the oar designs..." He gestured at the Viking-style ships. "They look more like works of art than spacecraft. I mean, they're beautiful, don't get me wrong. But I can't show up on Earth flying what looks like a Norse longboat with rocket engines."
"Oh! I get it now. Come with me!"
He grabbed Mario's arm and swung Mjolnir with his other hand. Together they shot into the sky, leaving the palace far behind. They flew for several minutes before descending toward what appeared to be an abandoned facility on the outskirts of the city.
When they landed, Mario found himself standing in what could only be described as a spaceship graveyard.
Derelict vessels of every imaginable shape and size stretched out before him. Though they were all damaged to varying degrees, there were so many of them that the sheer scale gave him an instinctive sense of awe.
"Is this more what you meant?"
Mario looked around the massive salvage yard. "What is this place?"
Thor smiled and explained, "These are spoils of war, ships left behind by space pirates and raiders who invaded the Nine Realms and were defeated by Asgard's forces."
As ruler of the Nine Realms, Asgard didn't just sit around looking pretty. They were responsible for protecting all the realms from outside threats. Most of these wrecks were from criminal operations that thought they could raid our territories. Only Earth was a special case. If the Bifrost hadn't been damaged during the Battle of New York, it wouldn't have been just Thor fighting there. The entire Asgardian army would have deployed.
Mario stepped onto one of the wrecks and reached out to touch the metal hull. What Thor saw as worthless scrap, he saw as an absolute treasure trove of advanced technology.
"If you don't want these anymore, could you give them to me? Or I can trade you gold for them. Lots of gold."
Gold was still hard currency throughout the Marvel universe.
Thor tapped the side of a broken ship with Mjolnir. "These things are outdated junk. Space pirates can't afford proper warships, and even when they steal good ones, they run them into the ground."
Mario shrugged, completely unbothered. "Even so, they're still centuries ahead of Earth's technology."
Indeed, apart from a few pieces of tech like Tony Stark's arc reactor, normal Earth science couldn't even begin to compare with these so-called "scraps." Engineers like Ivan or Tony would probably throw themselves at these wrecks the moment they saw them, unable to resist the urge to tear them apart and learn their secrets.
Thor studied Mario's expression and grinned. "Take whatever you like from here. It's all just taking up space anyway. And as for the two working ships I promised you earlier, I'll make sure they're ready before you leave."
For the first time, Mario found Thor's easygoing nature endearing rather than just amusing. He nodded seriously. "I owe you one. If you ever need my help with something, just ask."
It was a real promise. As long as Thor didn't threaten anyone he cared about, he would lend his aid when called upon.
But even as he made the offer, he couldn't help thinking that Thor probably wouldn't remember he was owed a favor. The guy had the attention span of an over-excited golden retriever and the long-term planning skills of a brick.
Oh well. At least he's got a good heart.