Two weeks had passed since Nova left the Winter Court and took up residence in the Night Court. Rather than staying in Windhaven, she resided in the same camp as Hollis and his people. It was quieter here, by herself. Peaceful. Her day…predictable.
Up before the sun, running as fast as she could manage, from her bed to the peach tree (where she'd spend an hour in meditation) and back again. The first few days, she'd nearly given up halfway, but each day, each mile became a little easier. She would eat, a lot, and then spend most of her afternoon training on the obstacle course. She'd eat again, bathe, and then sit in the empty barracks. The only bed made was hers, the rest a vacant shell. And every night, as she lay down, she would stare at the ceiling and wonder what everyone was doing in the Winter Court.
Finch was probably egging Kole into a fist fight while Bran lovingly rolled his eyes. Kyra and Nieve were probably training with Cassian and Azriel, as Nieve had taken an interest in improving her combat skills.
What about Hollis?
Nova's brows furrowed, hands clasped over her stomach. She envisioned him sitting in the library, warming himself by the hearth as he read more books that held no answers. Still, the more she thought about them, the more she missed them, and the harder it was to fall asleep each night. She knew what Bran said was true, that she shouldn't alienate herself, but it was an easy thing to do when you fall into a routine.
Just a few more days, she promised herself. Over the past few months of rebuilding herself, with the addition of these weeks of more intense training, she was nearly back to where she was before the incident. There was a little way to go yet, but all in all, she felt much more like herself.
What was Hollis doing?
Taken aback by her thought, she dropped the blanket and blinked. It didn't matter what he was doing, she reminded herself, because she didn't care. Curling up on her side, she pulled her legs up to form a ball and closed her eyes.
After some time, she wasn't sure how long she'd spent tossing and turning in bed, so she punched her pillow and turned it over. Burying her face into the cool, unused side, she froze. The scent filled her with a sense of something so comforting that her muscles relaxed instantly. A shiver of something delicious feathered her skin. She didn't know what was on this pillow; she'd never noticed it before, but it somehow gave her everything she needed to feel okay again.
In the far-left corner of the room, the bed had never felt softer as Nova finally drifted to sleep.
The Rook jumped over the King, and Hollis stared blankly at the chess set in front of him, the set he'd given Nova. Each evening before bed, he played himself in a match and wondered what Nova might be doing. He imagined her having the time of her life moving through the forest without restriction as opposed to shivering to get from the palace to the training arena.
He wanted that for her.
Their last interaction left his stomach in knots. The way she barely looked at him or spoke to him. Did she still want friendship, or did she want them to go their separate ways? She hadn't quite specified, and it was within her right, of course, but damn, it was a crushing blow to lose someone he'd grown to care for so deeply, mate bond aside. He didn't want to crave her attention, yet when he didn't receive it, it was like a punch to the gut. Was that selfish?
Probably.
Raking his fingers through his tousled hair, Hollis sighed and closed his eyes. He was beyond tired from training and researching, but the act of standing and traveling up the stairs seemed like too much effort at the moment.
"You look like you're overthinking," Kole smirked, arms crossed over his chest as he leaned against the door frame.
Forcing a tight smile, Hollis lifted his head and rested his chin on his hands. "Hm, don't I always?"
Kol nodded as he approached, plopping on the chair diagonally to him, "You do. A lot."
"I don't mean to," he murmured, "sometimes it can't be helped."
"Like when Nova isn't here?"
His blue gaze flitted to Kole, but he quickly realized he wasn't smiling. There wasn't a teasing tone or a glitter of humor in his eyes.
Hollis pursed his lips and nodded, moving his King to the left, "She certainly leaves a hole when she's gone."
"Especially for you."
Leaning back in his chair, Hollis sighed, "I'm really not in the mood to-"
"You love her, don't you?"
He paused and settled his gaze on him, his heart skipping a beat, "I never said that."
Kole scoffed with a smirk, "So you do?"
When Hollis turned his attention back to the board, Kole asked, "Did you tell her?"
"She doesn't feel the bond, Kole," Hollis finally sighed, "can you please just let it go? Yes, she's my mate. Yes, her family knows, and my parents know. No, I'm not going to tell her."
"I didn't ask you if she was your mate, Hollis," Kole said, a little brusquely. "I asked you if you love her."
"Yes, alright!" Hollis whispered harshly, "Yes, I love her, but it doesn't matter. She doesn't want to be here. She doesn't want me. I love her and I can't have her, and I have to live with that, so can you please drop it?"
He hadn't meant to lose his temper, but he wanted to pretend it didn't exist. These words, when spoken into the world, suddenly became real, and he didn't want to feel it. He didn't want to register the painful truth that everything he felt would never matter. It was so much easier to ignore it and pray that one day it wouldn't make him physically nauseous.
Kole leaned forward, his elbows on his knees, "Why don't you just tell her? I get that the rejection would be painful, but at least you'd know."
Sighing, Hollis shook his head, "I can't do that. We had that conversation months ago. She was very clear in her intention, and I agreed to it. She already had so much of herself ripped away, and I can't be the reason she feels trapped again. I won't be."
The fireplace crackled in the silence before Hollis, in a voice soft and raw, said, "Please, don't tell her. If there's anything in this life I can't lose, it's her trust."
Kole breathed in slowly and nodded, "I won't say anything. I promise."
"Thank you."
The aroma of peaches permeated the air as the buzz of a bee whispered nearby, and Nova slowly opened her eyes. She'd arrived at dawn, and by the position of the sun, it was now nearly ten. Though she didn't want to return just yet. What did she have to go back to at the moment? An empty room. She would admit, however, last night was the best rest she'd had in ages. Now that she felt well-rested and a bit peckish despite the three peaches she'd already consumed, maybe it wouldn't be a bad idea to visit Velaris. Perhaps have something more filling to eat. The indirect company might do her some good.
From her place against the twisted tree, above the water, she stared at the little sapling nearby. The pit she'd planted months ago…was growing. That had to be a good sign. It was at least a foot tall now, with green leaves reaching toward the sky for more sunshine. Perhaps her mother was right. Nature needed to move in its own way.
They would have to be patient.
Jogging briskly through a light, cold rain, Nova entered the city limits and slowed to a walk. Cutting through an alley, she stopped at the edge of the street and paused. Looking to her left, Nova took a deep breath and stared at the place where it had happened.
Where Peter breathed his last, and everything changed.
It was in front of the bakery, where the closed sign still battered against the door. Would it ever be the same, Nova wondered. Likely not. Sure, anyone with a skill for baking could enter and combine cinnamon and butter to replicate its heavenly aroma, but would it ever contain the same love and adoration that Peter had fed it each day? Or would it sit here and gather dust like an abandoned skeleton?
Somehow, that seemed worse.
Walking in the opposite direction of the bakery, her goal was to aimlessly wander in silence and observe the city. That was impossible, however, as the people of Velaris wanted to speak to her. Constantly. In the beginning, it was easy to respond with a polite nod.
"Yes, I'm feeling better. Thank you."
Then the conversations got harder, as one of the artists in the Rainbrow District who had a talent for the cello said, "I'm sure you miss Peter a lot, we sure do."
Nova had to bite her tongue hard and nod, as she was unable to produce words. She'd barely made it halfway through the city, and she was ready to return to her bunker. How her parents could handle this, she had no idea. For people to constantly rely on her answers, her actions, eloquently, for that matter. She couldn't do it. She couldn't one day take over as a High Lady of the Night Court. It wasn't in her.
After Taylen had left, Nova swiftly dashed across the streets to get to Rita's. She still wanted something to eat that wasn't part of her provisions at the barracks, but she wouldn't stay here to eat it and unintentionally invite anyone to sit with her to talk more.
"Can I get something to go?" She asked as she approached the counter.
Rita glanced up and raised a brow with a smile, "Certainly. Anything you had in mind?"
"I…have no idea."
Laughing lightly, Rita nodded, "Is there anything in particular you don't like?"
"Bananas," Nova replied. That, and chocolate, but she wouldn't assume she'd put chocolate on a lunch plate.
With a smile, Rita nodded, "I'll whip something up for you."
"Thanks."
As soon as Rita disappeared into the back kitchen, a fae male approached the counter and took the spot next to Nova. He looked up at her with a worried scowl.
"I know your parents have been in the Winter Court, and I understand why, but our fish have declined significantly. At his rate, we expect to run out by the end of next month. They're either gone or already rotten. What are you going to do about this?"
Nova's eyes widened. What am I going to do about this? Glancing around the restaurant, all eyes, including wait staff, were on her.
"Well?" He asked again. "What are we meant to do? Do we go underground again? When?"
Blinking rapidly, Nova's shoulders stiffened, "I…I don't know…"
"You don't know? Has a plan been put in place for us? What are we supposed to do? I can't let my children starve!"
"That's enough," Rita's voice rang across the counter as she set the neatly packed container of food on the counter by Nova's elbow. "Don't berate her. She can't control the weather or the sea any more than you or I can. So, eat your meal or get out."
Though grumbling, he stalked away back to his seat. His eyes were daggers on Nova, and she could still feel them even as she looked away.
"Hey," Rita nodded, patting the top of her hand, "don't let anyone get to you. Emotions are high. We've been better off than other Courts have, don't you worry."
Swallowing harshly, Nova said, "Things take time to heal. We have to be patient."
How much did they all know of this? Had her parents addressed them while she'd recuperated in the Winter Court, and if they had, did they only know about issues in the Courts or also about the prophecy? Knowing it wasn't her place to inform anyone, she nodded and picked up her container, "Thank you." She set her coins on the counter, and Rita smiled.
This time when she took to the streets, Nova kept her head down and stole away to quick alley passages until she met the forest's edge. Feeling better under the cover of foliage, though decayed, a burst of wind ripped through and unfastened leaves from the place above. She was showered in the scent of autumn and something she couldn't quite put her finger on.
By the time she arrived back at the barracks, she could breathe easier. It was better for her to be out here, away from others. How was she meant to answer those questions? Setting her container on the table as she entered, she paused, staring around the room with her hands clasped against the back of her neck.
Should she inform her parents about the concerns? Surely they already did, and what more could they do if all the Courts were trading evenly anyway? Everyone had their share, and they couldn't expect more when others had less. Were they only fishing in the ocean? What about the lake and ponds? They surely had a food supply. Then again, taking from them would result in other creatures declining as well. It was all a domino effect. If she intervened in one area, another problem would arise.
Patience. They had to have patience and faith.
Taking a breath, she settled into her seat at the small, circular table and opened the box. She was greeted with the mouthwatering aroma of spiced duck, greens, and a massive bowl of soup. Opening the lid to the soup container, she breathed in the steam and nearly moaned. She wasn't sure what it was exactly, but it had a beef broth that, when she took a scalding spoonful, was so salty and flavorful she realized how bland her food had been the last couple of weeks.
Nova took her time to eat, rather than shoveling it down to get back outside, she chewed each bite with care and savored the moment. As she did, she came to an important decision and began crafting a letter to her parents.
Bran slammed Hollis on the ground so hard that his teeth clicked together so hard it vibrated through his head. Instead of jumping back up, he lay there and willed his body to sink into the ground. Baylor was off with Ansel, working on desensitizing him by using a sleeping bag that crinkled when disturbed.
"We can be done for today," Bran chuckled, unwrapping his hands as Hollis continued to lie there. Still smiling, Bran asked, "Did I break you?"
It hurt too much to laugh, so Hollis smiled. "I think I'll just lie here the rest of the day."
"Good luck with that. Your father told me to inform you that after training, you were to meet with him in his study."
Raising a brow, Hollis tilted his head to look at him. "Did he mention why?"
"No, but I wouldn't keep him waiting."
If he stewed on what he might want to talk about, he'd work himself into a frenzy. It was best to get it over with. Glancing down at himself, he lifted the collar of his shirt and got a whiff of his reason to bathe beforehand.
Limping from the horse track to his room, Hollis peeled off his clothing and left each piece scattered on the floor, the couch, the chaise, all the way to the shower where he stepped in and stood under a hot spray. Training was always much more fun when Nova was there, and not for the reason one might think. He couldn't help but catch himself watching her occasionally, but it was always after he enjoyed the most. Clean and sitting in front of the hearth, drinking hot chocolate and reading a book, or doing a puzzle. He missed that the most.
As he envisioned her face, warmed by the glow of the fire, her lashes fluttered up, sensing his eyes on her. Her intense violet gaze would penetrate him, stealing his breath every time. Glancing down, he suddenly realized he was in the shower, and he was rock hard.
"Shit…" He muttered, staring at himself, already so stiff he didn't know if he had it in him to turn the water cold. Pressing his forehead against the shower wall, he realized he couldn't go downstairs like this. Everyone would know.
If he was going to, he needed to make sure he thought of something other than Nova. Wrapping his hand around himself, he shuddered as his shoulders relaxed. Closing his eyes, he tried to think of nothing at all. if he could keep his mind blank and treat it as a simple tension release, he'd have nothing to feel guilty for.
The first stroke nearly sent him to his knees.
Bracing himself against the wall so he didn't fall, Hollis pinched his eyes as he pumped his length from base to tip. Gliding his thumb in a slow circle against his head, he grunted, clenched his jaw, and stroked faster.
Nova's hooded gaze appeared in his mind.
"Fuck…" He muttered as his cock twitched, and one stroke later, he moaned low in his throat as he came, coating the foot of the shower wall. Heart pounding, he shivered and let the spray of water wash away the evidence.
Shaking his head, he sighed and rubbed his forehead. Would there ever be a day when she didn't infiltrate his thoughts? Did he ever want that day to come…?
After he forced himself out of the shower, Hollis dressed and reported to his father's study, wishing the day could be over already. Alas, it wasn't even ten yet. As he stepped through the threshold, he raised his brows at the piles of envelopes and stationery. His mother sat on the floor, his father beside her, addressing each with a neat hand, and he smiled. With everything going on, he'd all but forgotten the encroaching Solstice. Even more, he'd forgotten their tradition of stuffing and labeling each envelope.
Each Court received a single invite, naturally, but in the Winter Court, each citizen was given a personal invitation to the Winter Ball. He remembered the year he was fifteen, when Nova attended. He'd helped his parents hand-address each invitation for the list of citizens given to them by Rhysand and Feyre.
Almost everyone.
He hadn't understood then why some of the citizens were marked out in red. Now he knew they belonged to the Court of Nightmares.
His mother smiled up at him as he took another envelope, dipped her quill, and nodded to the space across from her, "We have a lot of invitations to fill."
Before sitting down, he poured himself a cup of coffee from the provided saucer and took a sip. Taking up a quill of his own, he checked the spelling of a name before carefully writing it on the envelope. It didn't matter if there were three people in one home, three invitations would be sent with three different names and the same address.
It was often an all-day event; a day Hollis had always looked forward to when he was younger. His parents were honorable and supplied him with as much attention as they could, but they were also rulers of the Court, and with that meant sometimes they'd go longer without seeing each other. On this day, it was just the three of them with no outside orders or places to attend. For one day in the entire year, they were a single unit.
Glancing up at his mother's hand, he watched her write Nova Archeron.
Hollis arched a brow and smiled, "Are we handing out individual invitations within the Palace?"
Viviane returned a soft smile, "Hm, Rhys and Feyre haven't told you?"
His features fell a little, waiting for her to continue.
"They received a letter this morning," she murmured, "she's extending her stay in Velaris. While everyone has been very kind to help us with our limited supplies, I'm afraid the Night Court is suffering more than they were. Mor and Amren are only able to handle so much, even with Feyre and Rhys traveling frequently between Courts. Nova decided to stay and offer her assistance in the food shortage."
The disappointment was more than he had thought it could be — it was crushing. Two weeks ago, he'd told himself, 'it's only two weeks'. They had a month yet until the Solstice; if she were receiving an invitation, that'd be another month she'd be gone.
Steeling himself, he nodded. It was for the best, after all. What better way to get over someone than to not be near them?
"I'm sorry, sweetheart," she murmured, "I know you enjoy your time together."
He fastened a tight smile and nodded, "It's all for the best."
Viviane's brows furrowed as her glance connected quickly with Kallias's and back to the invitations. The echo of nibs scratching against paper muffled the sound of Hollis's heart shattering.
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