In her haste to escape, Nova crash-landed on a snowy bank of the Winter Court. It had been a stretch of time since she'd last winnowed, and the previous time had taken so much out of her she'd immediately lost consciousness. She wasn't sure if she was grateful she was still awake or disappointed.
The bite of the cold against her cheek was a pleasant change to the burning tears that cascaded down. She pressed her face further against the snow and tried to breathe it in. To calm the chaos that had become her mind. She couldn't do this…she wasn't ready.
Please don't make me do this, she pleaded to the universe.
"Nova?" A familiar voice called, but she didn't move.
Kole approached, dropping his axe to the side, his brows settled into a worried scowl. He didn't know if this was right or wrong, and quite frankly, he didn't care. Marriage or not – mate or not, he couldn't stand by as she sobbed into the snow.
He kneeled next to her and murmured, "Nova…"
"Please, go away."
Kole paused and swallowed his apprehension. "I can't do that," he said gently. "What happened?"
While Nova may have otherwise ignored or snapped at the person who refused to give her space, right now, all she could do was look up at him and stare. The usual banter he carried with him, especially around Finch, was nonexistent as he looked on her with concern.
His expression morphed from concern to anger. "Did Hollis do something?" Oh, he'd kick that little asshole across Courts if he'd agreed to something that enacted a reaction like this.
"No," Nova murmured, that was just it. "Hollis did…nothing."
When Tamlin spoke those words, the only thing Hollis did was stare. Surely he knew what this meant for her.
How could he say nothing?
She understood the reality. She knew that she'd have to do this, despite the terror it caused her, because if she didn't, those who also didn't deserve torment would die. Even if she hated it…even if she cried the whole time, she could shoulder it for the innocent.
Peter wouldn't have hesitated. He would have walked out with her.
Was she overthinking it, allowing her swollen emotions to get the better of her again? Of course, she was. Hollis disagreed with them; he'd said so himself.
People lie…especially when they want something from you.
The memory of Nesta's deceit resurfaced. Even Ana had contributed too, in her attempts to prevaricate. Anyone can appear innocent when they use someone for their benefit, but how does one know when someone is being honest in their affection or has an intention to manipulate?
Had the gifts she'd given her part of the ploy? The Hope Box she understood, but the chessboard and the ice dagger were outside of the time of their birthday, so what was the point of them? Lure her into a false sense of endearment to complete the bond without her realizing?
"I do believe you should always be one step ahead of your opponent," Hollis had said one evening during one of their chess games, "I might not excel in the sparring ring, but I know when to play the game where it matters." Then he'd knighted himself King and grinned.
Was he playing her as a pawn in his game?
"Nova?" Kole asked gently, bringing her back to reality. "Come on, you're shivering. You don't even have a coat."
This time, Nova let him help her up. She let him help her walk, not trusting her feet to carry her at the moment. As they approached the doors that would lead to the dining room, she stopped dead in her tracks.
"I don't want to see anyone right now…"
Kole nodded, "I can do that." He said, leading her, instead, toward the kitchen doors.
She realized he'd be taking her up the seldom-used passageway where no eyes would catch her. "Thank you…" She murmured, unable to look up, to meet his eyes.
"Do you need me to kick someones ass?"
Her smile quirked involuntarily. "No, thank you."
"Just say the word."
Though, another word was not exchanged as they climbed through the passageway from the kitchen. Kole poked his head out each exit they encountered to ensure the spaces were empty. Soon enough, they reached a passageway Nova didn't recognize.
"Have you spent a lot of time in the palace?"
Kole smirked, "Our mother was a wet nurse, and it meant she needed to be nearby. She actually supplied milk for Hollis that his mother could use to feed him. We always joked we grew up on the same breast." He snorted.
Unsure if she wanted to hear any more stories about Hollis at the moment, she tried to turn the conversation toward him. "Where is your mother now?"
"She's around," he nodded, "Both she and my father live in a cottage in the village. She doesn't intend to have any more children, at least not until the temperatures have increased. They've been attempting to make greenhouses, since our trade between Courts was so low before Beron fell. They haven't managed to find a thick enough glass that will withstand the cold, but thin enough to trap more heat inside. It's been a lot of trial and error, but they're trying."
"That's wonderful…" Nova murmured, the guilt another stab in her chest. It was because of her. Because she hadn't opened her legs, more people were suffering.
Kole placed his palms against a brick wall that didn't appear any different from its surroundings, but as he pushed, a crack in the shape of a horizontal rectangle began to form. The more he pushed, the more indented it became until a low hiss filled the space followed by a sprinkling of dust, or was it ash?
"Sorry," he chuckled, "It's been a while since this was used."
The cracks slowly began widening until they were large enough to fit a body. Kole poked his head out first, then, when the coast was clear, he squeezed his large frame, ducking to avoid hitting his head, and entered the room.
Following him, Nova peered around at her bedroom. It was just as she'd left it this morning, nothing disturbed. Looking over her shoulder, she watched Kole push the brick of the fireplace back where it had been, blending seamlessly with the rest of the wall.
"I want to say I'm impressed, but I'm also a little concerned."
Kole chuckled, "I share the sentiment, but it is convenient on certain occasions."
What type of occasion made it okay to infringe on someone's privacy? It sounded like an easy way for a lot of scornful people to get away with murder.
Nova jumped as a knock rapped against the door. Her jaw clenched as Hollis called out, "Nova! Nova, I need to talk to you!"
Staring at the floor for a long moment, she breathed out a long sigh. She didn't know if she was ready for this conversation, but then again, would she ever be?
"Hey," Kole said, and she looked up, "I'll get rid of him."
"You don't have to do that."
"Everyone deserves a chance to breathe. Take a second for yourself, and come down when you're ready."
Kole didn't leave her a chance to argue as he approached the door, swung it open, and closed it before Hollis had an opportunity to look over his shoulder. Crossing his arms over his chest, he glared down at him.
"She wants to be alone right now."
Hollis furrowed his brow and nodded. Of course, she would want that, but this was news she had to hear. She had to know they would not be going through with the shit Tamlin spouted. "I get that, but…"
"No, I don't think you do."
Hollis blinked, staring at him in silent disbelief. "I'm not the enemy, Kole."
"Yeah, I know that," he nodded, still not moving from where he blocked the entrance, "And she knows that, but that doesn't change the fact that she wants to be alone right now. She'll come down when she's ready, but not before."
There had always been times in the past when he and Kole bumped heads. They hadn't always gotten along, fighting more like brothers, but this felt different. Part of him was a little miffed, but the other part, the stronger part…celebrated. Kole stood between what Nova feared, and he loved that. He just hated that he was the one she feared.
"Alright," he pursed his lips into a thin line, knowing if he pressed anymore, he'd likely end up on the ground. So he said, "I'll wait then." Then, he turned and walked his way back down the hall. The terrible weight he'd felt before the marriage ceremony was back, but this time it was heavier. It numbed him as he descended the stairs, roaming aimlessly as his mind explored far too many thoughts all at once.
He hadn't realized he'd walked into what seemed to be a rather important meeting. His parents, Nova's…Azriel and Cassian all stood in his father's study. He had intended to keep walking, but they'd already spotted him at the door.
They stared at him, and he stared back.
He'd sentenced them, everyone, to death with his outburst. Would the other Courts cease trade with them now that he was unwilling to barter? That was just it, though; Nova's life and well-being were not something to be bartered. He didn't know if it was rational, but it was all he could do. He couldn't agree to it, even if it resulted in their demise.
"I'm sorry…" He said softly, avoiding their eyes.
It was his father who said, "I would have done the same thing. Perhaps that makes me a villain in the eyes of others."
Feyre moved forward, offering Hollis a dusty, heavy tome that seemed to have been open two dynasties ago. "We will not give in to assumptions. We will search for answers until our last breath. Will you?"
Swallowing, Hollis took the book and released a shaky breath. Maybe he hadn't forced everyone to sign their own death certificate. Perhaps they'd all already had a quill in their hand.
Under the covers of her comforter, Nova ripped another bite off the chocolate bar she'd been gnawing on since Kole left. She didn't even like chocolate, and yet she couldn't stop indulging in its bittersweet notes while staring at the space between her legs.
Adira had explored her often on the Island, though she'd never used anything larger than her fingers. She hadn't wanted to lose a cucumber up there, even if that was a silly fear; it was very real to her. She didn't want to have to explain to Nesta why she was birthing a sprout.
When she'd thought about intercourse with a male in the past, she hadn't been frightened of the prospect. It intrigued her, actually. Now? Now she had involuntary goosebumps engulf her entire body at the thought of someone between her legs. What did consummation entail? Would Hollis just…stick it in? And that would be it? Or did he have to reach completion for the universe to accept the union?
Fuck my thoughts, she growled to herself as she chomped off another mouthful of the bar.
Maybe she just had to treat it like when Wolfe set her hip? If she just blanked her mind and thought of nothing or anything else? Then again, even doing that, she'd panicked, and all of her clothes had been on.
Just do it. Get it over with and be done with it. The more it's labored over, the worse it will be.
Resolute in the worst decision of her life, Nova threw back the duvet and set the chocolate bar on the nightstand. She took a moment to freshen up in the bathroom mirror, gazed at her puffy under eyes, and walked to the fireplace. Kole had gotten through by pushing toward the room, but how did one enter from it?
As her fingers brushed around the entirety of the fireplace, careful not to touch where it was too hot, she came upon a tiny lever. Pulled it toward her, a soft click followed by the grinding sound of rock against rock filled the dark space. The sun had retreated long ago. Hollis was likely in his room by now—the perfect place to get this stupid shit over with.
When the crack was large enough for Nova to inch her way in, she frowned, finding there was no way to close it now that she was inside. Oh, well. It was probably better to leave it ajar in case it was too heavy to push back out. She'd improved in her build since she began her training again, but she wasn't 'push a brick wall into place' strong yet.
Slipping through the silent corridors of the narrow passageways, Nova did a quick bit of math to determine where it might be best to exit. People should be asleep by now. At least her night of insomnia was on her side, and she, hopefully, wouldn't disturb anyone with her trauma.
It took her a bit of time, but finally, after a few tries of peaking through various passageway exits, she found a room on the floor where Hollis was. Slipping through the crack of a cupboard, she closed it and tiptoed out of the room. Checking the hallway for any stragglers, she moved quickly and quietly to Hollis's bedroom. She raised her hand to knock and cringed; the last thing she wanted was for people to catch them in the act. This day alone was mortifying. She didn't want to add kindling to the fire.
Reaching down, she turned the handle and let herself in, but to her surprise, the room was empty. Nova furrowed her brows and ventured further, rotating in a full circle to realize Hollis wasn't here at all.
Where was he?
"Hollis?" She whispered into the dark room, trying to see beyond what the moon's glow wasn't casting. Nova sighed in frustration and plopped herself on the chair in front of the unlit fireplace – the psychopath wasn't even heating his room – and glared at the wall. She didn't want to wait. She just wanted it over, and now her nerves would have time to take root and drive her to insanity.
Settling in, she set her boots on the coffee table and looked around. She hadn't been in his room much, only for a short time when he needed to grab something before going to do something else, like feed the horses. It was much bigger than her own. If she hadn't been told this was a room in a palace, she would have assumed it was an apartment.
Nova leaned her cheek against her arm and silently waited. She didn't realize she had closed her eyes, let alone fallen asleep, when she heard the door handle jiggle.
When it swung open, she opened her eyes, suddenly alert, and watched Hollis stumble in. He carried the weight of a hefty stack of books with him, trying to see around the pile so as not to trip on the rug at the door.
"Hollis," Nova whispered as she sat up.
Hollis screamed, dropping the books to the ground and placing a hand over his mouth with wide eyes.
"Are you alright?" Kallias's voice sounded from down the hall, as he'd helped haul some texts to sit in the hallway.
"Yeah, just…tripped…" Hollis quickly covered, but settled a soft glare on Nova. What was she thinking?!
Kallias's footsteps faded away as he returned downstairs.
Sighing, Hollis shook his head as he closed the door behind him with a soft click. "What are you doing here, Nova?" He whispered.
"What do you mean, what am I doing here?" She glared back and retorted. "I came to fuck you."
Hollis, who had just been about to bend down to retrieve the books he'd dropped, stared at her with wide eyes. "What?!"
"Lower your voice." Nova hissed back.
Rolling his eyes, he repeated in a whisper, "What?!"
"You heard them. We need to complete the bond, so let's just get this over with…take off your pants."
"What? No! I'm not doing that. We're not doing that."
Nova stared at him for a long moment and crinkled her nose. "What are you talking about?"
With a soft, calmer sigh, Hollis sat down on the sofa adjacent to her. This was precisely why he'd wanted to speak to her sooner rather than later. He hadn't wanted her to stew over this. "We're not going to do what Tamlin says simply because he has a theory. The bond made its mark on us, and that is the usual signal of completion…" He paused, staring at her confused eyes, and then took a deep breath. "They worked it out," he said gently, "Your parents already put a stop to it."
Alright, technically, they hadn't, but they would have had he not intervened as he had. And either way, who would she trust more? His word against Tamlin's, or her parents? He was no High Lord. He didn't hold the kind of power and influence Rhysand or Feyre did. This wasn't something he could risk her misunderstanding. If she went through with this, it would only deepen her wounds…and that wasn't something he could risk. His voice wouldn't hold the weight theirs did.
"They did?" Nova asked, and Hollis nodded. "Oh…" She glanced down at the books he'd dropped. Was that what the books had said? Did they find confirmation that the bond was, in fact, complete?
"And anyway," Hollis continued, "My mother already said Tamlin didn't have a voice at the meeting. Anything he said is null and void. The others agree." And by others, of course, it was her family and his.
Nodding slowly, Nova chewed her lower lip, the relief not quite setting in as she asked, "So, what are we trying to find in the books?"
"As of right now, your father suggests delaying the effects until the bond can make an impact. The damage done will likely need time to reverse."
"What if that's not the problem?"
Hollis took a deep breath, "We'll…cross that bridge when we get there." Then, he picked up a book and extended it to her.
Taking it, she opened to the first page and glanced up at him, then back down at the text. She could hardly read it in the lighting, so she said, "You know what we really need?"
"What's that?"
"The original scroll of the prophecy."
Hollis shook his head. "Beron said it was destroyed."
Rolling her eyes, Nova scoffed, "Right. Because he's never lied before? Of course, he wouldn't want us to have our hands on it. He wanted control. He has it. Even now, he controls us with it."
"Eris said he searched for it, but never found it. If Beron didn't destroy it, where else would he have put it that Eris wouldn't know about?"
Nova shrugged and leaned back, "He wasn't alone in his plotting."
"You think Tamlin has it?"
"I think I don't trust anyone anymore." Not that she'd ever really had, but she liked to think she was getting there. Now, it felt like she was taking a massive step backward.
"I'm sure Elain and Lucien would have said something if they'd stumbled across it."
"What if it isn't in either court?" Nova asked, leaning forward. "Tamlin has been in the Prison for the last decade. How do we know he didn't have it with him during the first attack?"
"They would have searched him, surely."
"Probably," she shrugged, "But magic is magic. It's deceitful."
Hollis grimaced as a sinking sensation entered his gut. "You want us to go to the Prison?"
"Need and want are two very different things."
"I don't know that anyone would approve of that."
Nova smirked, "We're twenty-five. If we're old enough to get married because a piece of paper told us to, then we're old enough to make our traveling decisions ourselves. Anyway, I don't want to explore the place, I want to see his cell. Did they search it when they released him?"
Though it wasn't a terrible idea, he couldn't help but wonder, "Couldn't your uncle get that kind of information from him? It's what he does for a living, right?"
"Not unless he doesn't remember anything. Beron had been using him all that time, and before that, Amarantha had her hold on him. He might not know information he was privy to."
"I would have thought our parents would have already searched for it."
Nova deflated a little. They would have searched, she was sure. "But did they ever find it, is the question."
"I know you want to find the answers without consequence, but I think we should ask. We can at least bring it to their attention. Worst case, they've already attempted and came up empty-handed. This isn't something we can do alone, Nova."
He was right. Of course, he was right.
"Fine," Nova finally conceded with a tired sigh, "We'll ask at breakfast."
Sighing with quiet relief, Hollis leaned back a little and looked around. "How did you even get up here without anyone seeing you?"
"I walked through the walls."
He nodded slowly and said, "Alright then."