The activity in the kitchen had dwindled now that meager breakfasts had been dished and eaten, but now that Nova had been sleeping in later, it was the best time of day to bring her something to eat. Her plate, fuller than the others, sat in wait for him to deliver.
Celeste, who had been doing everything she could to ration, smiled from around the corner of the cupboard, "Check the oven, Hollis. I might not be able to make the large cinnamon rolls right now, but I do have some small ones; they don't take nearly as much flour. Don't forget the frosting."
Smiling, Hollis checked the oven, took one for himself and one for Nova's plate, and glanced over at her, "What would we do without you?"
"Oh, you'd do just fine, but you'd miss me, I'm sure."
"I'd never stop thinking about you."
Celeste smiled and wacked his shoulder lightly with a spatula, a dirty one, mind, but Hollis laughed as the caked flour crumbled against his black t-shirt. "Get that food up to that poor girl before she's sick with hunger."
Pursing his lips, he nodded and left, but something didn't feel right about her word usage. If Nova had heard her call her that poor girl, she would not have been happy. While well-intended, he had a feeling Nova hated being seen as weak in any capacity, and all this, everything that happened…He frowned at his own train of thought and paused halfway up the stairs.
He knew what it was like to be seen as weak, to feel the shame of not being good enough. While he couldn't even imagine the extent to which Nova felt, it had to be debilitating.
Continuing up the stairs, Hollis entered her room to find the room empty except for Nova under the covers with her back to the door. It was past eleven, and while Nova had been sleeping more, he would have thought she'd be awake now since she'd fallen asleep so early the night before. Perhaps she hadn't had a good night's sleep.
With quiet footsteps, Hollis moved around to her side table and rested the plate of food on top. He placed both cinnamon rolls on the top and glanced over at her still, sleeping face, half covered by the comforter. He frowned at the dark sweep beneath her eyes; she really hadn't been sleeping well.
Swallowing, he sat back on his heels, admiring her for a moment. No matter how many sleepless nights, she was still the most gorgeous person he'd ever seen. Should that bother him at all, considering everyone says she looks just like her father? He supposed it should, but it didn't. When he looked at her, he didn't see her father.
She was Nova.
How had she reached for him in the past when he'd been afraid and anxious? Did she know now that it had been him her voice soothed? Though a better question, was there a way to reach her the way she did him? Could he, too, offer some comfort as she did him?
Hollis breathed in a slow, careful breath so as not to wake her and let his eyes close. In the darkness of his mind, he searched for her, but where did he begin? Nova had spent many years honing this type of skill, so he'd been told by Emerie, as she'd mentioned, that she meditated every day for years. Still, there had to be something he could latch onto.
There it was, that golden thread. It shimmered between them, but rather than pulling it toward him, he followed it. He wasn't sure how long he trailed after the gold, but he finally reached its end, and it was nothing like what he had been.
The white ball of energy covered in anxious dark webs was nonexistent.
Instead, the walls of her spirit were gray and void of life altogether. Secluded. The only thing in the space was a dull, pulsating orb. It looked as though it was covered in an ashy dust, choking the vibrancy and leaving behind only decayed, numb grief.
Hollis tried to reach out, to place his hand on the orb, but with his movement, the orb and its surroundings shifted to an angry red. Defensive and violent, it was ready to protect her soul by any means necessary.
Instantly, he pulled himself from that place, and his eyes snapped open. Sucking in a breath, it shuddered through his chest. Had he stopped breathing?
Glancing at her face, Nova still slept soundly, though her brow had warped into a subtle scowl, likely from the sense of some invasion. Perhaps he'd been too invasive, but if Nova had helped him before, maybe he could help her now.
Even after his training session with Ansel and Baylor, Hollis couldn't seem to focus on anything but the gray dust inside Nova. He wasn't sure if it was her soul, spirit, or mind; perhaps it was all. He was still distracted during his shower, hardly noticing the bruises that now riddled his body, and when he went downstairs to meet for lunch.
"The Autumn Court goods will be arriving at the port later this evening," Cassian said around a gulp of water. "We'll need as many hands as we can to bring it all over."
The trip wouldn't be a long one if they used the horses, but with the nights being so cold, Hollis was hesitant to bring any out of the insulated stable. Those who could winnow would have an easier time, but too many trips could become tiring very quickly. Hollis had only ever winnowed once in his life, and that was to save Nova. He still wasn't sure how he'd managed it, but maybe that was another skill he needed to progress in. His parents, though, had the ability, didn't use it very often. Out of all of them, Rhysand had the most experience. He glanced at him from across the table and was met with a slight smirk.
He raised his brows as Rhysand chuckled, speaking through his mind, Your thoughts are deafening. I try not to listen, but I'd be happy to teach you more about winnowing. We'll use tonight to practice at the port.
It wasn't long past nine that evening that Cassian and Azriel flew through the open glass doors with a wet thud, shuddering the heavy snow off their wings simultaneously.
"We'll need to hurry," Cassian said through gritted teeth, then sighed with relief as Kallias removed the snow with a calm wave of his hand. "Thanks. It's brutal out there. We'll either need to work quickly and possibly rotate volunteers. We can fly as much as we can, but winnowing would be best."
With a nod, Rhysand said, "I'll take Nova her meal and be down in a moment.:
"I can fly it," Kyra said, but was met with Azriel's frown.
He shook his head and murmured, "Not with that injury from this morning."
"I-"
"It's not up for debate," Azriel said calmly, but firmly, "You can either be winnowed or stay to organize the supply as it comes in. The snowfall could get heavier any moment, and if you can't feel your wings, that's just asking for trouble."
Kyra pursed her lips and nodded, though it killed her not to be more useful. She looked at Hollis, "You can be my ride." At least she'd be able to help gather. "You know how to winnow, right?"
"He does," Rhys said as he entered the room again, though his smile was grim.
Frowning, Hollis was less concerned about the sudden task of winnowing himself and another, as he observed his expression. "How's Nova?"
It took Rhysand a moment to respond, all eyes on him as he replied, "Asleep."
A sickening twist of Hollis's stomach threatened to bring up his last meal, but he slowly nodded and glanced at Kyra, who was equally concerned.
Instead of letting the silence ring, Rhysand turned to Hollis, "You've winnowed before; you can do it again. Don't overthink it, don't hesitate. That's how you end up in the middle of the ocean."
"I just finished braiding my hair," Kyra turned to Hollis, "If I end up in the ocean, you'll be left to the sharks."
Hollis grimaced and nodded, "I will not put you in the ocean."
Please don't let me put her in the ocean. Though, he was sure he'd rather face the hungry jaws of a shark than Kyra's wrath.
"You acted on instinct last time, this time act with purpose. Envision where we are going and don't let go. Trust yourself."
As nervous as he was, because anything could go wrong, Hollis did trust himself. He'd move through time and space, he'd keep Kyra safe, and he'd do it without fear.
"Alright," he nodded, "Let's go."
Rhys smirked and adjusted his jacket to keep the window out, "I'll accompany you this first time, then you'll take the helm."
Together, bundled in their warm clothes, they held on to as Rhys swept them all away, and in that time, Hollis kept his eyes open and focused. He observed not only what he saw, but what he felt. Performing this task required confidence. To be self-assured they'd make it to the other side.
As quickly as it started, they were now standing on the pier where the ship was docked, but the wind that whipped against them like stinging lashes was worse than getting there. The ocean, black in the distance, was on an unforgiving rampage.
"What's that smell?" Kyra cringed, looking around. "Smells like something rotting."
Rhys nodded, "I smell it too. Maybe some animals weren't so lucky in the storm. Come, let's start unloading." He bristled against the wind and moved forward as more volunteers arrived. Almost everyone attended, those who could handle the cold and the wind, and they worked as quickly as possible.
The only good thing about the temperature was that, despite the globs of snow that fell, the goods were easily wiped off without moisture seeping in, as the flakes didn't melt on impact. They worked as quickly as they could, ignoring the smell and the waves that broke against the ice formations that sloshed onto the deck.
Hollis and Kyra hauled three large sacks of flour together, intent on bringing them back to the palace.
"Ready?" Hollis called over the whistle of the wind.
"Yeah!"
Holding onto her arm, with only his power, he winnowed them back to the palace. He certainly wasn't as graceful as Rhysand as they were dumped onto the palace floor, flour bags skidding ahead of them, but they'd made it in one piece, and that's what mattered.
"Damn, it's freezing out there." Kyra shuddered as she jogged to the fire to bring some feeling back to her fingertips.
Hollis didn't feel the chill as easily, but it was still a biting cold that made his limbs feel heavier. "Let's try to get as much done as we can."
"Agreed."
Together, they winnowed back and began the process over again.
And again…and again.
By the time the ship had been cleared and all of the goods had been transported to the palace, everyone who had hauled the items sat numbly around the dining table holding steaming mugs of hot chocolate. His parents, least affected by the cold, worked to bring more heat in to chase away the chill.
"You did good," Kyra said, elbowing Hollis through the blanket that enveloped her.
Hollis smiled tiredly, he'd winnowed at least eight times, maybe more. The distance might have been relatively short, but he knew he wouldn't be able to use much power for a while now. The comfort of his bed called to him, but there was still one more thing he needed to do.
He took an extra mug of hot chocolate, topped with thick whipped cream, up the stairs and to Nova's room. While he ran the risk that she might be asleep, he couldn't bring himself not to try.
"Nova?" He asked gently as he creaked the door open, and though the room was dark, he saw movement on the bed. With a soft smile, he crept inside and closed the door gently behind him. "I brought you some hot chocolate," he murmured as he carefully rounded the bed, "I didn't know if you liked whipped cream, but I thought…" He paused, gazing down at her face lit by the moon from the window, and watched slow tears stream down her cheeks.
All at once, his heart shattered.
Moisture brimmed his eyes as he set the mug down on the table and slowly kneeled and shuddered the question. "Is there anything I can do?"
Nova slowly shook her head, staring at him with no intention of wiping her tears. With the stains that coated her neck, he wouldn't have been surprised if she'd been silently crying all day.
Left all alone in her grief.
Maybe they were wrong. While he didn't want to contradict Madja or her parents or even Emerie, perhaps space wasn't what Nova needed. Slowly, Hollis lowered himself until he was sitting on the floor. He leaned his back against the nightstand, and that's where he remained.
All night long.