"Feel free to direct all your complaints to the Slithering Violation personally, I'm sure he'll offer you a sympathetic ear," I snarked.
"Yes, yes. The laws of man must bow to the laws of the heavens…" Father Jordan grumbled. "Let's just hope these collars have the standard embedded commands. That's the bare minimum of safety for monster collars."
Father Jordan started descending the stairs to the monster pit, I followed.
"Embedded commands?" I asked.
"Stop, sleep, follow, and go are the required ones, though many of the more expensive collars have more than just those commands," he explained. "To activate them, they're usually prefixed by the word 'command.' For example, Command: Stop, Command: Follow, and so on. You can also release them from control with Command: Release, when you want them to return to their natural behaviour."
"Gotcha," I said.
Father Jordan led the way out onto the sandy arena floor. Pinky still hadn't raised her head. Foxy focused intently on the priest, a cool and patient desire in her gaze. She still hadn't moved off her knees.
The priest sighed, "Of course one of them had to be a Manhunter too… I hate dealing with Manhunters," he grumbled.
Father Jordan pointed at Foxy, "Command: Sleep."
I felt a little tingle in the back of my brain. A sort of confirmation. Did I want this pathetic unworthy excuse for a priest to command my god-given monster? That was… an interesting way to phrase it. Clearly, whatever shred of intelligence Nyar'Shiggurath embedded in the collar had some strong opinions about the current Church of the Untainted and their clergy.
I confirmed the prompt mentally. An instant later, the fox girl's eyes closed, and she flopped over sideways like a puppet with her strings cut.
"There was a small delay… but it seems it works," Father Jordan said thoughtfully.
I smirked. I suspected the default monster collars didn't have the 'ask Tyler's permission before letting the priest mess with your monsters' feature as standard.
I pointed at Pinky "Command: Release."
Father Jordan gasped, and leaped away, "What are you doing!" he snapped angrily.
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Pinky stayed on her knees, and raised her head just barely high enough to peek at me. She took a moment to decide what to do, blinking a few times, then sat back on her haunches, and shifted herself until she faced me directly. She stayed on her knees like a good girl, yet her eyes travelled all over my body hungrily. A little drop of drool dripped out of her mouth, and her massive eternally-hard erection bulged out obscenely now that she'd changed her posture. It throbbed, and a little drop of precum wept out from its tip.
"She's not attacking…" the priest said, confused.
"Yeah, she's a good girl. Strangely docile, for a monster." I explained.
I walked over to the kneeling demonblood elf and gently patted her on the head to show how tame she was. I was confident in her good behaviour, and showing off for someone important, so of course, like any good pet, she did something stupid to embarrass me. She suddenly lunged forward, tongue extended, trying to lick my crotch through a gap in the blanket. I took a step back, dodging back from the overly aggressive cunnilingus.
"Nah uh!" I waggled my finger at her. "Later if you're a good girl, but not right now."
Pinky had no idea what I was saying. She had no concept of 'later.' She just looked hurt and betrayed. There was a pussy in her face, but then there wasn't, and now she was very sad the pussy went away. She stayed on her knees, but scooted forward a little bit. Slowly, bit by bit, she scooted closer to my crotch to maybe get in a sneaky little lick without alerting me to her dastardly scheme. It… wasn't terribly subtle.
"Command: Stop," I tried.
Pinky froze halfway through her movement, and then sat back down on her haunches. She gave me a pitiful wide-eyed puppy dog stare, complete with trembling lower lip, but she stopped trying to creep toward me. She still had her eyes completely fixated on my crotch however, biting her lip with desire. Clearly the command stopped her from doing things, but it didn't make her want to stop.
"Fancy," I said.
"It seems the collars work." Father Jordan commented.
"Well, they were made by a tentacle god, I assume they'd be pretty high quality," I shrugged.
Father Jordan stared at me, incredulous, "You have no idea what you have, do you?"
"Some super good quality slave collars?" I replied, uncertainly.
"Setting aside the value of the slaves and captured monsters themselves, you have twenty-six personally attuned divine artefacts in your possession. Every single one of those is priceless. You've literally just doubled the number of known divine artifacts in the entire world."
"Oh wow, that might be a problem. Are people going to kill my slaves to steal their collars?" I asked.
"They're attuned to you, and as divine artifacts that attunement can't be overridden by mortal means. Most attuned divine artifacts are… exceedingly lethal to prospective thieves, and most thieves know this. I doubt any would be foolish enough to risk it."
"Ah that's good," I said. "So uuh… what happens now?"
"Now? Those slaves are officially yours by divine mandate. As a rule, it is the Church, and not individuals who are liable to acts of divinity. So, congratulations I suppose… We register twenty four slaves and two monsters in your name, use church funds to compensate their previous owners, or their families if they're no longer alive, and wait for word from the Capital on what to do with this strange group of travellers so blatantly favored by the gods."
"Where do we put them? I slaves, I mean," I asked. "Is there space in the rectory hall?"
"For tonight, maybe. I'll have one of the Acolytes ask around and find a modest manor house to lease for the month. Hopefully by the end of the month we'll have word from the Capital and perhaps time to arrange a caravan." the priest explained.
"Uhm… isn't renting a mansion like that a lot of gold?" I said nervously.
"Reimbursement for twenty four slaves, market value between fifty and a hundred gold pieces each, plus registration fee of one gold twenty silver per slave... Compared to the price of the slaves the god stole on your behalf, the ten-gold monthly lease for a medium sized manor is just a drop in the bucket."
I did some quick lazy math in my head, 75 gold times 24 slaves… how much were captured monsters worth? Let's just call it 2000 gold pieces once everything was said and done. If one gold was $2000… I had just stolen something like four million dollars worth of slaves from this brothel.
I really didn't feel bad about that.
"Yeah… that seems a little expensive," I said nervously.
"A little expensive, she says," Father Jordan grumbled.
"Okay… a lot expensive…" I admitted.