A minute later, Leon and Raven sat at the coffee table, sipping tea in silence. The base's dim light gave the moment an oddly calm atmosphere—almost too calm.
"So, Leon," Raven began, her tone skeptical, "I hope your first mission with Axel didn't leave your psyche too damaged. I'd hate to have a useless member on the squad."
Leon gave a crooked smile. "Oh, that's what you wanted to talk about."
"To be frank, I already have another mission lined up for you. Victor Harrow just returned from his assignment yesterday. I was hoping your trauma would have dissipated by now."
Leon chuckled weakly. "Ha, you talk about what I saw like it's just some scary movie."
He looked down at his hand. It was trembling.
To be honest... I haven't stopped shaking since.
He clenched his jaw. "I spent the past twenty-four hours trying to erase what I saw. What I felt. All I wanted was to close my eyes and forget, but I just... couldn't."
Raven raised an eyebrow. "No one handles their first blood well. But are you telling me it was that bad?"
Leon nodded slowly. "There was a woman. She survived the explosion. She dragged herself to me, missing half her body... and she begged me to save her."
He began to breathe harder, his voice cracking.
"She begged me, of all people. I still wonder... did she know I was part of the reason she was dying, or was she just desperate? The thought alone makes me sick. Every time I think about it, I feel like vomiting!"
His hand shook violently now.
Raven took a calm sip of tea. "So, from what you're saying... you want to go home? It would make sense. But there's a big problem with going back to Germany—"
"No!"
Leon shot to his feet and slammed his hands on the table, startling Raven.
"When I first got here, that's all I wanted! To go back home! See my wife, my daughter, my son... But I can't. To return and pretend nothing happened? Pretend my hands weren't just soaked in blood? That would be the biggest disservice to the people we killed!"
Raven stared at him, her voice quiet but sharp. "So what do you plan to do with that mindset?"
Leon clenched his fists. "I didn't stop Axel. I didn't question him. I was just there. I could've run away. I wanted to. But last night... I made a decision. I'll stay. I'll survive in Squad Bastards. And when I finally go home, I'll make sure I return with something I can be proud of."
"You realize how stupid that goal is, right?" Raven replied flatly. "This is Squad Bastards. You don't leave this place clean. You leave in a body bag or with hands permanently stained red. This goal? It'll destroy what little sanity you have left. But hey... that's just my opinion."
"You're wrong," Leon said firmly, placing a hand on his chest. "I won't let this place take my humanity."
Raven studied him, a smile creeping onto her lips. "What an adorable ideal. To think someone could better themselves here... Well, whatever keeps you around works for me. I'd hate to have to turn you into a mission."
Leon blinked. "Wait. Make me a mission?"
Raven tilted her head. "You really think you're the first newbie to want to escape? I might as well tell you now—anyone who tries to leave gets hunted down by two of our members. Killed."
"Wait, what?!"
"Think about it. You really believe the government would let someone with knowledge of us walk free? Our squad has caused enough chaos to fuel decades of conspiracy theories. You run, we kill you. Then we kill your family. Then we check every camera you touched and kill anyone you talked to. Simple."
Leon went pale, his knees shaking. I was gonna run last night... if I was just a little more of a coward... my whole family would be dead.
Suddenly, cockroaches began crawling out of Raven's bandages.
"Eek! Raven, what the hell?!" Leon yelped, jumping back.
"Oh, my bad. They're shy around strangers. Now that you've confirmed you're staying, they feel safe."
"They?!"
"Yeah, my friends." She gently petted one crawling up her shoulder. "When you're allergic to everything, it's hard to make real connections."
"What kind of wacko allergies do you have?!"
"This one's Dave. Isn't he adorable?"
Leon gagged. "I can't decide if I hate Axel's boom addiction or whatever this is more."
Raven giggled. "I'll introduce you to the rest later. For now, go get ready. Your next mission's coming up. Quick one, but important."
Leon sighed. "I guess I just have to accept that everyone in this squad is weird as hell."
"Oh, and one more thing," Raven added.
Leon paused in the doorway.
"When our leader Magnus Crowe returns, do not go around talking about your little goals and dreams."
Leon turned. "Why?"
Raven looked him dead in the eyes.
"Because if you bring that 'humanity' crap around Magnus... he might—no, he will kill you."
The air fell still.
Leon stared at her, a chills running down his spine.
"Well... that wasn't terrifying at all," he muttered.