"Orochimaru." Anko venomously snarls his name. "What will it take for you to tell me where he's at? I'll give you anything you ask for."
"No." I bluntly deny her. "Ouch. Naruto that was a low blow even by my standards, I avoid the balls."
...
"I mean it when I say anything." Anko doesn't take her eyes off the battle but I know that she's paying more attention to me than it. "I have ANBU connections. I can sneak you back into Konoha, no questions asked. You'd become an ANBU, working in the shadows full time. You'll always have to wear the ANBU mask since we can't risk your face being recognized but you'd be back. It's gotta be better than Oto."
"Funny, you're not the first one to try and use that line of thinking against me." That award goes to Danzo Shimura. He offered me something eerily similar. "Anko. Show me your tongue."
"What?" She takes her eyes off the battle for the first time to look at me with a creeped out expression. "Why the hell would I do that?"
"Shut up and do it or I will pry your mouth open myself." I threaten her. I have every intention of following through with it too, if she's ROOT that changes everything.
"Kinky! I might prefer it that way." Anko winks at me. "Thought you were into Ino not older ladies like myself."
"You've just upgraded to me ripping it out of your mouth if you don't show me yourself." I'm deadly serious. She wasn't shown as being in ROOT in canon but I'm not risking it. I have to make sure. "Anko. Now."
"You're no fun." Anko pouts as she stick her tongue out at me. "There. Is your weird fetish satisfied?"
"Yes." It's blank. She's not ROOT. Good. "Thank you."
"Soooo… where's Orochimaru at?" Anko doesn't even try to mask her true goal. "Remember, anything you want. Just ask."
"No." I deny her again. "Are these idiots done throwing their shit back on the boat yet? They're taking forever."
"Why? Why won't you let me go kill him!" Anko yells at me with true anger and pain in her eyes. "He's tormented me! He was my sensei and he cast me aside like trash! I will kill him! He's made my life full of suffering!"
"Anko Mitarashi." I call her by her full name to impart how serious I am about what I will say next. "What Orochimaru has done to you is unforgivable. I do not deny that he has caused you a lot of pain and suffering, far from it. Rather I sympathize with you, I truly understand where you're coming from. But Orochimaru is not yours to kill. He's mine."
"You don't know jack shit!" Anko whirls on me, all thoughts of watching the battle are long gone. "Listen here you little fuck you can't begin to imagine how he's hurt me!"
"No you listen!" I round on her with even more aggression than she has. "He cast you aside but he murdered my family. He gave me a kinjutsu that has taken my humanity from me, there's more of it in me than me in me. He ordered my teammate slaughtered and desecrated. He has experimented on me three times. He has ordered me to kill children just to satisfy a sliver of his curiosity. Yet none of that is the worst thing he's done. Have you ever wondered why I looked like him instead of my own parents? It's because he used me in an experiment before I was even born. He imprinted himself on me just because he wanted to find out if he could. So you tell me, whose life has he fucked up more?"
Anko stepped away from me in surprise. She visibly flinched with each new thing I added to my list and her anger has changed into pity.
"He's done that much to you?" She tenderly asks.
"No. He's done more." I darkly assure her as shadows dance upon my face. "I plan on killing him myself, but right now he serves a purpose. He's training me."
"I remember his training." Anko winces. "It's hell."
"I promise it's only gotten worse. You die if he cuts off your limbs. I don't."
"Ouch." She winces again.
"Yeah. Ouch." I snort in amusement then the entire iceberg shakes. "The hell is going on now?!"
Anko and I dart our eyes back to the battle. Naruto, Ino and Shikamaru are all hauling ass towards the ship. They're running as fast as the slippery ground will let them.
"GET ON THE SHIP!" Shikamaru yells out in a panic. "GET ON THE SHIP NOW!"
"Well you heard the boy!" I quickly spin around and scoop the still out of it Yukie into my arms in a bridal style cradle. "Up we go!"
Anko and I land at the same time and only five seconds later Naruto, Ino and Shikamaru join us.
"So what's going on?" I casually ask as I set Yukie down on the ground. "Why the sudden rush?"
"Don't know." Shikamaru pants. "Kakashi shouted at us to run for it. He's doing something."
"Huh. I wonder what it'll be?" I stroll over to the side of the ship then something bursts from underneath the surface of the water. "IS THAT A FUCKING NARWHAL?!"
A monstrous narwhal made of pure ice elegantly leaps out of the water. It's aiming to crash down on the ship.
"OH HELL NO! I AM NOT DYING TO A FUCKING NARWHAL!" I yell out, drowning down all other noise. With a sickening squelch my wind minion rips itself out of my back as I'm flying through hand signs. Both my minion and I ready our respective strongest elemental attacks to melt the stupid ice animal.
"WHY THE FUCK IS THERE ANOTHER NARWHAL!?" I didn't get to finish my combo jutsu in time because another fucking narwhal blew out of the water and slammed into the first one, knocking them both into the iceberg we were just on.
The resulting waves caused by the two narwhals destroying the iceberg send the ship rocking severely but they also push the ship away from the epicenter of the crash. Which also is away from the shinobi that attacked us.
Yay, small victories.
"Oh good you all made it." Kakashi idly says from behind us all. "I didn't know if my jutsu made it in time or if you all were off the iceberg yet."
"YOU!" I whirl on him with fury in my eyes. "Who the hell makes a jutsu that uses a narwhal!? Huh?!"
"No idea, I just copied it." Kakashi shrugs. "I thought it was strange too. It might make sense if the jutsu was used to spear people on the horn but it just hops up then crashes. I guess the creator likes narwhals?"
"I've had it with the stupidity!" I throw my hands up in the air and storm over to the mast. "Cutting holes in hats!" I start to walk up it. "A snowboard as a weapon! Flying suits of armor! And fucking narwhals! That's it! I'm done for today! No more! Nothing makes sense today! NOTHING! And by the way I fucking called it! I told all of you this mission would spiral out of control! I fucking called it!"
"He took that surprisingly well." Shikamaru sarcastically says.
"Really?" Naruto hopefully asks.
"No." Everyone else deadpans to Naruto.
...
"Okay camera crew." The Director sits them all down. "What all did we get?"
"I got the orange boy fighting the snowboarder."
"I got the other two kids fighting the flying chick."
"I got the silver haired dude and the blue haired dude go at it."
"Jura?" The Director asks. "Anything to add from your special assignment?"
"Oh yeah. Turns out the kid can spit fire. Lots of fire."
"Gentlemen. Ladies." The Director looks at everyone in turn. "We're going to make the best movie in the history of movies."
...
A/N:
If we hit 500 Power Stones by the end of this week, I'll drop an extra chapter as a thank-you!
Thanks for the support! ;)
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