As time moves, Shinji is left in his thoughts, his pain of the body and the pain of his heart. The young man is conflicted about his past and relationship.
Although they have meaning, they have less value to him as a person.
—I should take things seriously. Life is neither a joke, nor a play, nor a book: it just moves like the wind, going wherever it wants.
His goals and ambitions are set in stone, but his life isn't. At his age of 21, normal people would have made a lot of meaningful connections, but he has made one, with his lover. Although he is not necessarily sad about that, his heart is too sealed.
—I need to open up to myself. What do I hate?
'Bathing!'
Shinji wants to laugh at his filthiness, but coughs up blood. Although he hates his sickness, thanks to it increasing his blood, he is able to keep his life.
Like always, he has tried to dodge away from the topic at hand. Enduring the cold, he continues with his dreadful thoughts.
