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*****
New York, Mike's Home.
In the kitchen, Thor was enthusiastically showing Mike some of the "cosmic specialties" he had learned to cook during his travels. Looking at the spread, Mike couldn't help but wonder what exactly the God of Thunder had been doing out there in the universe. Was he saving worlds or attending culinary school?
However, when it came to the taste...
To Mike's surprise, it actually wasn't bad.
"Well? What do you think?" Thor looked at Mike with an expectant gaze, looking very much like a small child waiting for a teacher's praise.
Mike looked down at the pile of raw meat slices, which were multi-colored and crafted from some sort of bioluminescent material. Recalling the flavor from a moment ago, he spoke slowly. "If we ignore the... disturbing appearance of the ingredients and judge it solely on the flavor itself, it's quite good. In fact, some of the notes are very unique."
Thor grinned widely. "I encountered many strange but delicious foods on this trip. I just had to make sure you got to experience them!"
"That really isn't necessary..." Mike's lip twitched. You should probably keep those things for yourself.
Seeing Thor's confused expression, Mike sighed helplessly. "Have you forgotten what makes a dish complete besides just the taste?"
Color, aroma, taste, shape, and meaning...
Thor blinked, looking puzzled. "Is it not beautiful? It's colorful and it glows! I remember the aliens out there really loved that sort of thing."
Mike looked at Thor, speechless. He eventually patted Thor on the shoulder and said, "As you said, those were aliens. Their aesthetic is different from ours. When you cook, you have to consider your audience."
Thor pondered this for a moment before nodding in agreement. "You're right!" He then looked down at the dish—which was currently emitting a strange, sickly blue-green light—with a look of difficulty. "Should I throw these out, then?"
"They're already made," Mike said calmly. "Let the others have a taste."
Good grief, I'm not suffering through this alone. Mike wanted everyone to experience the visual impact of "Glowing Cuisine."
"You got it!" Thor said happily. "I'll get started on the next courses then!"
As a cook, Thor would have been genuinely sad to see his hard work tossed into the trash. These ingredients had been painstakingly collected from various planets across the galaxy; they were rare delicacies and a token of his sincerity.
Mike gave a noncommittal hum and left the kitchen.
"What delicious things is Thor making?" Gwen asked curiously.
"A Prince of Asgard, reduced to a common cook... what a fool with no future!" Loki remarked cuttingly.
Gwen blinked at him. "So, I take it you won't be eating later?"
"Eat? Why wouldn't I eat?" Loki sneered, tilting his chin up proudly. "He is Thor, the Prince of Asgard. Only I..." He paused, feeling the collective gaze of Mike and the others, and hastily added, "...and the rest of you, are worthy of enjoying his labor."
The group nodded. Suddenly, Little Lamb curled his lip, delivering a sharp jab to Loki's pride. "Asgard, Asgard... where even is Asgard these days?" the boy muttered. "I haven't even had a chance to go see it!"
Loki: "..." Don't go there.
"Pfft!" Gwen couldn't help but laugh. She turned to Loki and said, "He's just a kid, don't take it to heart."
Loki's eye twitched. "I wouldn't dare."
"That's the spirit!" Gwen nodded and stood on her tiptoes to pat Loki's head, just as she used to do when he was still a "child."
Loki froze for a second and huffed, but a flicker of amusement shone in his eyes.
"What are you all talking about?" Thor popped his head out of the kitchen, looking curious.
"Nothing, they're all just looking forward to your cooking," Mike said with a smile.
Thor grinned. "Just you wait!"
With that, he ducked back into the kitchen. Soon, a series of eerie colors and bone-chilling screams began to drift through the kitchen door. The family, who had been somewhat expectant, now exchanged looks of mounting dread.
"What is that...?" Gwen shivered as she heard a sound resembling a baby's cry. "Thor didn't... he didn't boil a child, did he?"
"Eating... eating kids?" Little Lamb's face went pale.
Loki's expression was also grim, but his thoughts were different. That bastard Thor... is he making something disgusting just to prank me?
Raven looked at Mike with a mixture of fear and confusion. "Is this really going to be okay?" she whispered.
"It should... be fine," Mike managed a forced smile. He had thought the glowing meat was ridiculous enough, but it seemed there was even weirder stuff on the menu. He was rapidly losing confidence in whatever Thor was about to serve.
Under the anxious gaze of the group, Thor finally emerged. He was carrying a bowl filled with what looked like thrashing octopus tentacles—except the tip of every tentacle was capped with a realistic-looking eyeball.
The group gasped in unison.
Thor, however, was clearly satisfied with their reaction. "Try it! I call it: The Dancing Eyeballs!"
"Eye... Eyeballs!" The corners of everyone's eyes twitched violently. Is this actually edible?
Thor introduced the dish with a smile. "It's actually a type of plant. After cooking, the eyes open and the branches, which have lost their vitality, become active again. It's a very magical ingredient."
Hearing this, everyone let out a sigh of relief. It was just a plant. That was fine... like hell it was! The thing looked terrifying! Could anyone actually bring themselves to put that in their mouth?
Before they could even process their fear, Thor cheerily returned to the kitchen and brought out two more plates. One featured a pile of meat that seemed perfectly normal, except it was trembling and emitting high-pitched screams. The other was the pile of multi-colored glowing meat slices.
The family's complexions grew darker. But this wasn't even the limit of their horror.
As Thor continued to bring out dish after dish, their faces turned from black to purple, and then to white. When Thor finally presented a bowl of white broth featuring fruits that looked exactly like sobbing infants, everyone's faces turned as pale as paper.
Gwen and Little Lamb screamed. Raven also cried out in shock, "What on earth is that!?"
Loki's hand trembled violently as he reached out toward Thor. "I haven't offended you recently, have I?" He was convinced Thor was seeking revenge.
"No, not at all!" Thor rubbed the back of his head. "Mike told me you've been managing New Asgard quite well. He said even though you make some low-level blunders occasionally, you're doing a great job overall!"
"What do you mean, low-level blunders!?" Loki glared at Thor. He turned to leave in a huff, but Gwen grabbed his sleeve.
"Let go of me! No one can stop me now!" Loki looked at the group with tragic indignation. "My heart has been shattered by Thor!"
The group watched Loki with flat, knowing expressions. Loki glared back. After a few seconds of silence, seeing that no one was moved by his drama, Loki turned to leave again.
Suddenly, a chorus of cold chuckles rang out. Loki froze. Having lived in this house for quite a while, he immediately understood the meaning behind those laughs.
"What a low-quality performance," Little Lamb grumbled. "You're just looking for an excuse to avoid eating Thor's food, aren't you?"
Loki stiffened, then immediately rushed back to Little Lamb. "Is my acting really that bad?" he asked, sounding genuinely despondent. Bad enough that even a child can see through it?
Little Lamb nodded without hesitation. "Based on that performance? Yes."
At this, Loki slumped into a nearby chair, looking utterly defeated.
Thor smiled and addressed the group. "In that case, please, everyone—dig in!"
Dig in!? Little Lamb and Gwen looked like they had been turned to stone; their entire bodies radiated a sense of absolute refusal.
"Don't worry, it's delicious!" Thor said with a laugh as he sat down.
This wasn't a question of whether it was poisonous; it was a question of whether they could physically swallow it.
"Dad, are we filming a prank show? Or did we accidentally join a horror broadcast?" Gwen asked Mike blankly.
At Gwen's suggestion, Little Lamb seemed to have an epiphany. He pointed at Thor and shouted, "I knew it! You must be possessed by an evil spirit! In the name of the Holy Light, I cast you out!"
As the boy spoke, a pillar of golden light suddenly descended, slamming into Thor. Thor's body shuddered, and he let out a comfortable sigh. He looked at the stunned Little Lamb and said, "Thanks! That massage was very effective."
Gwen looked at her brother in confusion. "Since when do you have Holy Light powers?"
"I... I was playing a game and it just kind of awakened," Little Lamb explained before turning a tearful face toward Mike. "Dad, do I really have to eat this?"
Before Mike could answer, Thor spoke up with righteous solemnity. "I remember the first thing I learned when I joined this family was that one must never waste food. That's what you all taught me."
The four members of the Mike household froze. Wonderful. He's using our own rules against us.
Loki, sitting to the side, let out a dry laugh at Mike and the others. See? You can't escape either!
At that moment, Thor plucked an "eyeball" and shoved it into Loki's mouth. "Eat up!" he roared.
Loki's eyes bugged out in terror. He tried to spit it out, but Thor clamped a hand over his mouth until he swallowed. Only then did Thor let go, laughing heartily.
Loki glared at Thor, looking as if he wanted to pull out his daggers and give Thor's kidneys a couple of stabs.
"The taste isn't bad, right?" Thor asked with a smile.
Loki subconsciously licked his lips. Once he realized what he was doing, he felt a wave of nausea, but the lingering flavor on his tongue told him the truth: it was actually delicious.
So, if it looks terrifying but tastes great, does it count as a delicacy? Loki's expression was a mask of internal conflict.
Noticing Loki's reaction, Gwen and Little Lamb relaxed slightly. "At least it isn't poison," Gwen whispered.
"But does it make you look stupider?" Little Lamb asked worriedly. "What if we turn into idiots after eating it?"
"You're the idiot!" Loki huffed before turning to the others. "The taste... is actually quite good."
I'm not the only one suffering through this.
Mike arched an eyebrow and chuckled inwardly. He looked at Loki and said, "If you like it, have some more!"
"Exactly!"
"Have plenty!"
"I think that's a great idea!"
Raven and the kids immediately chimed in. Loki's face went stiff. He had miscalculated; this was the Mike family's home turf, and he was outnumbered.
"Alright, no need to be modest! There's plenty for everyone!" Thor raised his Stormbreaker and gave a "kind" smile.
The Mike family looked at the table of horrors, and tears almost welled in their eyes.
A short while later, they had managed to finish the lunch. To be fair, the dishes weren't bad to the palate, but they challenged the very limits of human vision and psychological endurance. After the meal, their tongues and stomachs were satisfied, but their hearts and minds were howling in protest. These contradictory feelings left the group looking rather drained.
"Well then, Loki and I shall head back!" Thor said happily.
As Mike and the others feebly waved their arms in farewell, Thor grabbed the soul-less Loki and used Stormbreaker to teleport them back to Planet Kent.
Once Thor was gone, the family let out a collective sigh of relief. The pressure of Thor's cooking today had almost reached the level of Hank Pym's "stinky" experiments. The four of them rested for quite a while before they started to feel like themselves again.
"I'm going out!"
"I'm going to find someone to play with!"
As soon as the shadow of lunch lifted, Gwen and Little Lamb bolted out the door. Raven also changed her clothes and headed next door to Peggy Carter's house. Peggy's belly was getting bigger by the day, and their mahjong sessions were becoming more precious as time went on.
Suddenly, Mike was the only one left at home. However, Mike had his own business to attend to.
With a solemn expression, he went to the bathroom and washed his hands three times. He then returned to the living room and took a deep breath.
Glimmering light began to flicker in his hands. One by one, cards appeared from thin air, piling up on the table before him. Creating, strengthening, and fusing cards had become Mike's daily pastime.
"After having such bad luck with Thor today, my luck should surely turn around now..." Mike murmured. He rubbed his hands together, his eyes darting toward the cards like a gambler at a high-stakes table. "Let's start with some low-level cards to warm up."
He picked up two cards with relatively low power levels and activated his fusion ability. The two cards flew up, transforming into two orbs of light that merged in front of him.
The process had begun. Until the fusion was complete or Mike chose to end it, he could theoretically throw more cards into the mix. However, since he was just testing the waters, he didn't add anything else. He mentally triggered the end of the fusion.
A second later, a new card appeared before him. Mike glanced at it and nodded in satisfaction.
Next, he threw out two character cards: Monkey D. Luffy and Zac the Secret Weapon.
Seconds later, a new card materialized. It was a bio-organic blob with Luffy's face...
Mike gripped the card to sense its power. Finding that the abilities of both characters had merged perfectly, he felt a surge of excitement. "It worked! Time to challenge the higher levels!"
He picked up two more cards:
Senju Hashirama (Enhanced +3) Uchiha Madara (Enhanced +3)
The two cards transformed into orbs of light and merged. After a moment of thought, Mike tossed several more cards into the glowing vortex.
Seconds later, a new card appeared in his hand. Mike gripped it, his heart full of anticipation.
(End of Chapter)