"At first, I wanted a rich beauty with long black hair, but thinking it over, a househusband shouldn't be that narrow-minded. Even if she doesn't have long black hair, that's fine."
"She… so you set your sights on the gullible Ms. Hanamori? You want her to take care of you?"
Hiratsuka Shizuka's mouth twitched slightly when she heard a particular word in Hachiman's question that couldn't be ignored. She turned to look at Hanamori Kotomi, who was sitting next to Hikigaya.
Unlike Hanamori Kotomi, who had the heart of a saint but a head full of nonsense, Hiratsuka hadn't thought the comment referred to her at all.
Because she knew exactly why Hachiman had given up on his initial goal of finding a black-haired, long-straight, beautiful rich woman.
Everything had started when that blonde Elf Princess came asking for his aid.
To be fair, even she herself probably wouldn't have been able to resist the free advances of that blonde elf princess. She really couldn't bring herself to criticize Hikigaya's "I-don't-want-to-work" attitude anymore.
But lately, it seemed several more elves had appeared around that princess, all golden-haired, and every one of them stunning in both figure and face.
So how did this guy still have the energy to flirt with other girls now? Didn't he have enough "assistance work" already?
"Ah? Hiratsuka-senpai, please don't misunderstand! There's nothing between me and Hikigaya-kun!"
Hanamori Kotomi hadn't reacted at first. But when she noticed Hiratsuka staring at her with an odd expression, her heart jumped and she quickly waved her hands to deny any relationship with Hikigaya.
'What is going on? Something feels off, aren't we talking about Hiratsuka-senpai?'
'Wait, could it be that Hiratsuka-senpai is worried Hikigaya-kun is getting too close to me?'
"I haven't even said anything yet. Why are you so nervous?"
Seeing Hanamori's flustered look, basically confessing without being accused, Hiratsuka sighed deeply and pressed a hand to her forehead.
Without realizing it, she'd already earned the label of "possessive woman."
All she'd noticed was that when Hanamori entered the counseling office, instead of sitting on her side, she'd instinctively sat next to Hikigaya, so close that their legs were touching.
That kind of lack of awareness was lethal for a female teacher. Especially considering Hanamori had only met Hikigaya that very morning.
Her instincts, honed from years of handling problem students, told her something was off, and turns out, she wasn't wrong.
"Uh, well, anyway, it's definitely not what you think!"
Seeing Hiratsuka looking so certain about her and Hikigaya, Hanamori froze mid-motion. Her face grew red-hot as she met Hiratsuka's exasperated eyes, and she weakly put her hands down, mumbling in a tiny voice, "It's really not like that…"
"There are things I can't interfere with," Hiratsuka said with a sigh, "But you should watch yourself. Hikigaya's a flirt. He said he wanted a rich, pretty girl to take care of him, but he never said he'd stop at one."
Seeing Hanamori's face turn crimson with embarrassment, Hiratsuka sighed again, helpless.
She didn't truly believe they'd crossed any lines, but knowing Hikigaya's dream of being a househusband, it wasn't impossible he'd consider letting Hanamori support him.
After all, Hanamori was the type students adored: sweet-looking, great figure, cheerful personality.
She just hoped Hanamori wouldn't actually make a mistake. She'd already warned her that Hikigaya was a player.
"Uu... I really don't have that kind of relationship with Hikigaya-kun."
Hanamori wanted to explain, but Hiratsuka had already made up her mind that there was something unspeakable between them. In the end, Hanamori turned to look at Hikigaya sitting beside her, her eyes full of wounded grievance.
Seeing that look, Hikigaya just spread his hands, he hadn't done anything.
He hadn't said anything weird, hadn't touched her inappropriately, she had just instinctively sat beside him, and that's what got them caught.
How was that his fault?
Well… okay, maybe it was. Earlier in the clubroom, he had been hugging Hanamori a lot, patting her head, letting her get used to his presence.
Guess he'd gotten her a little too used to it. When she entered the room, she automatically sat near him.
"Ahem!"
"So… what did you two come here for?"
Seeing the two of them exchange looks and blushes right in front of her, Hiratsuka, almost thirty and still single, couldn't take it anymore and put on a stern face.
"Hikigaya, it's class time, isn't it? Didn't Kirisu-sensei just talk to you this morning? And you're skipping again this afternoon?"
Honestly, it was a miracle she hadn't already scolded him into the ground, and yet this brat was openly flirting in her office.
'So shameless!'
"It's not just this afternoon. I skipped after leaving the staff office," Hikigaya corrected her matter-of-factly.
A lot had happened last weekend, his relationships with Miura Yumiko, Kitagawa Marin, Ijichi Nijika, and Gabriel had all advanced, and Ichinose Honami had gone all the way.
Nijika was too embarrassed to face Yumiko because of what happened during the band performance, where Hikigaya had been invisibly holding her from behind (and might have to do it again several times).
Yumiko couldn't face Marin, whom she had dragged into trouble and almost caused to be "completely devoured."
Marin didn't know how to face Gabriel after their "Elf, Angel, and Demon Service" cosplay.
And Honami, who knew everything, didn't know how to face any of them.
So he decided not to go back to eat lunch with them, or even attend class.
He'd wait until they weren't so embarrassed, then show up again to embarrass them some more.
Hmm... they couldn't stay awkward forever. Once they got used to the embarrassment, they'd find it normal eventually.
"—_—", Hiratsuka stared silently at his deadpan face.
'So he followed Kirisu's advice, left the teacher's office, and immediately skipped class? And he is proud of it?'
"Just tell me what you came here for. If it's nothing, get back to class. This is the counseling room, not a truancy lounge," Hiratsuka resisted the urge to throttle him, her expression blank.
'Looks like Kirisu was right, we really needed to double-team this boy during home visits and guidance. If we don't, Sobu High would turn into Hikigaya's private playground.'
"The counseling room is for counseling students, isn't it? Besides, I doubt anyone else is coming this afternoon."
Leaning back into the soft sofa, Hikigaya smiled.
It had been a while since he'd come here, might as well make the most of it.
He'd originally planned to mess with Raphiel, but she'd tricked him instead. Next time, he'd bring Gabriel and Vignette to even the score.
Raphiel probably didn't realize he could track her location, perfect for an ambush.
"So, you're asking for counseling? You want me to counsel you, or Kirisu?", Hiratsuka raised an eyebrow, unsure what this boy was playing at.
'Wait, does this brat have his eyes on Kirisu now too?'
'He brought Hanamori here, and now he is asking for counseling right in front of her, is he not afraid the two of them would team up and wear him out?'
A normal student might fear scolding or punishment.
But for this one, who skipped classes and flirted all day? There was no such thing as "bad influence."
Hanamori blinked between Hikigaya and Hiratsuka, realizing their relationship wasn't what she'd assumed.
'Wait, did Hikigaya lie to me?'
He said coming to the counseling office required paying a "price."
But being counseled by Hiratsuka or Kirisu didn't sound like much of a price. Before she could ask, there was a knock at the door.
"Excuse me, teachers, may we come in for a moment?" Elf Princess Iris gently turned the knob and peeked inside.
Seeing only Hanamori and Hiratsuka, she walked right in with Aegis, Lumilia, and Lala following behind.
Sylpha, Melaise, Leticia, and Leona came in after them, locked the door, and stood quietly by it.
Too many at once might look bad, they'd wait their turn. If they really couldn't hold back, they could always activate the empathy collars on their necks, and once Iris or Lala wore the matching bracelets, they could share the same… experience.
"Elf Princess?", Hanamori blinked at the dazzling figures approaching.
It took her a moment to remember why an elf princess would show up here. Right, she was supposedly a member of Hikigaya's club.
Iris and Lala walked up to Hikigaya and sat down, one on each of his legs.
"Hello, Ms. Hanamori. I think I'm the Elf Princess you've heard about, but you can call me Iris."
She wrapped her pale arms around Hikigaya's neck, kissed his cheek, inhaled deeply the life energy coming off him, and then, refreshed, smiled at Hanamori.
"You can just call me Lala~ From now on, we'll be good friends!"
Lala kissed Hikigaya too, then leaned against his shoulder and waved cheerfully at Hanamori.
"I'm my sister's younger sister, Lumilia, nice to meet you~"
The youngest, Lumilia, sat on his other side, hugged his arm tight, feeling the Savior's warmth, and smiled at the teacher the Savior called a fool.
Behind the sofa, Aegis stood silently, faithfully guarding, lowering her head to quietly inhale Hikigaya's scent of life, pressing her lips together to keep herself from drooling.
Yesterday the club president had gone to help Aelio and the others, then stayed overnight at Ichinose's house.
He hadn't "assisted" them this morning or afternoon.
So… it had been almost twenty-four hours without "assistance."
She was barely holding it together.
'Stay calm. Iris and Lumilia managing to endure, I can't lose control!'
"Ms. Hanamori… Kotomi… th-this…", Hearing Iris and Lala call her by the same name Hikigaya used, Hanamori's mind went blank.
How did they even know that name?
"The 'assistance' we receive is the price the president pays~", Iris smiled, blinking playfully at the dazed teacher.
"Of course, that's just a joke. The president helps us out of goodwill, we'd never force him to do anything he dislikes."
"Assistance? Price?", Looking at Iris and Lala cuddled in Hikigaya's arms, clearly infatuated, Hanamori swallowed hard.
Now she understood why even Yukinoshita, a political heiress, couldn't get things done as easily as Hikigaya could. He could casually get a lawmaker to handle school issues for him.
Hiratsuka, who'd known about Iris seeking Hikigaya's help, the first time even taking place here in this very counseling room, wasn't surprised by their closeness.
But still…
Seeing Iris and Lala clinging to him, Lumilia pressed close to his thigh, Aegis standing behind him, Hiratsuka clenched her fists tightly, face dark as storm clouds.
One, two, three, four, even without counting the four elves by the door, or Hanamori herself, that was already four right here.
'This guy…'
'What the hell does he think my counseling office is for?'
———
'What exactly is happening inside the counseling room?'
'Why are so many students going in and out?'
Kashima Risako, who had greeted Hanamori earlier, was now watching from a nearby building.
She noticed several girls entering and exiting the counseling room at intervals, her face gradually hardening.
Even though Kashima had been a bookworm back in her student days and wasn't great with social matters, she was now a popular young teacher, loved by students for her diligence and warmth. She wasn't stupid, and she could tell Hanamori's behavior was strange.
Just earlier, Hanamori had been running herself ragged helping a mistreated student named Sakashita, and now suddenly, everything was "resolved"?
She hadn't even had time to explain before rushing off with a problem student to the counseling room.
Was it really that urgent? And wasn't that student not even in her class?
Or… had she been tricked?
Worried that her somewhat naive colleague had been deceived by Hachiman, Kashima decided to secretly follow them.
But what she discovered shocked her.
Why were so many demi-human students going in and out of that room?
And not just demi-humans, even regular students, though none were exactly "ordinary." Some she didn't know well, but she recognized several of the disciplinary committee members who patrolled the school often: Usui Makoto, Asai Saki, Sakurai Hana, Kitamura Chika.
First years, second years, all going in at different times, some during breaks, some during class.
Every time, several girls would enter together, swap places with others inside, and only emerge after at least half a period.
Could it be… that more than just Hiratsuka and Hanamori were in there?
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