"...Ah. I'm so bored I could die."
Tap, tap, tap!
Capybory Rambuloli, a capybara with a half hairy rambutan body, leaped high and performed [100-Pound Rambu Slam].
– "Fall into hell," in capybara noises.
Turpperoni tucked inside its shell, the carapace made of pepperoni pizza absorbed the impact. Turpperoni rolled around like a wheel and performed [360-Degree Turp Shredder].
— "Don't get cocky with me," in turtle noises.
Cabybory was sent flying into the sky.
Turpperoni revved up and unleashed a hundred horsepower spin and slammed the capybara into the wall across the arena.
10 hit combo!
Still trapped against the bricks, the capybara's thorny spikes shattered from the non-stop combo attacks.
16 hit combo!
Wall hit!
Turpperoni used this chance and performed a combo ender with a [Sage Art], [Infinite Oven Heaven]. Turpperoni spun at lightspeed in position then blasted the capybara to the wall.
17 hit combo!
Perfect!
Turpperoni grabbed the capybara by the collar before falling on the ground, lifting him up in the air.
– "Pitiful," in turtle noises.
K.O.!
"Hah."
Still clutching the controller, Seojin sighed.
The vibrant colors of Turpperoni's victory flashed on the screen, but his indigo irises devoid of any life were filled with restless scribbles like worms.
"How did things turn out like this…?"
The game he just played no longer gave him any enjoyment. Truth is, he only picked it up again after a year out of pure nostalgia.
Thwack!
Seojin tossed the controller aside and reached for his phone, and a familiar light novel site soon filled the screen.
If he had any other hobby besides gaming, it was reading novels mainly to distance himself from a reality that seemed increasingly difficult to inhabit.
Then again, almost every novel nowadays bored him to death!
Only a single novel remained in his library, and even that had come to an end just yesterday after seven long years of serialization.
Staring at the screen, his face contorted as he read a question posted by the author in the community server:
[Pinned by Author] Hypothetical Question
> If you were given the chance to live in this world as a character, who would you be, and what talent would you possess?
> The first reply will automatically become the drawback of that character (a/n: don't even think of replying to your own comment, i have my ways to know).
[Comments: 76]
"Meh, how childish."
A cringe question, if he dared call it that.
Coming from an author whose novel had been serialized for seven years yet the readers per chapter had never exceeded double digits, except for the first hundred chapters when it occasionally peaked at three digits.
It was posted yesterday, but Seojin has yet to comment. It wasn't that he didn't know what his ideal character would be, he just found the question a little… cringy.
For example,
[Xiana] Xiana, a pretty furry with a perfect body. Seductive charm.
-> [Vainy] is a femboy :3
-> [Xiana] Even better!
Seojin closed the forum and rubbed his eyes, trying to erase the abomination he had just seen.
Growl!
His stomach growled.
"Ah, crap. I haven't eaten anything for two days now."
It's been forever since Seojin shopped in a grocery store, so his refrigerator held nothing but some water bottles and a few cans of soda. There was nothing in the kitchen either.
Thus, Seojin walked towards the nearest convenience store, busy with his phone. Apparently, he was busy writing his comment to the very post he cringed at earlier to distract his empty stomach.
"Whatever. I guess I'll play along."
Tap, tap, tap.
[Seojin] Seojin, looks like me and is a genius like me. Any genius skill.
Tap.
He posted the comment with a smug grin.
[Comments: 77]
What's the point of commenting 'dragon tamer' as an ideal character but the drawback is 'terribly afraid of dragons' and such?
Truth is, Seojin's mother is named Yoon Nari and is the current top model of the country, appearing not only in South Korea but throughout the world magazines. Nari was also notorious for having a total of seven husbands.
His biological father, Yi Jinhwan, was a renowned lawyer whose brilliant arguments and landmark cases had earned him accolades from international legal institutions.
Naturally, Seojin had inherited exceptional genes!
Having truly inherited the best of both worlds, and fully convinced that he was already leagues ahead of others his age, Seojin couldn't think of a better character than himself.
He had graduated as valedictorian in both primary and high school, but had dropped out of college two years ago by having no desire to follow in either of his parents' fields.
And so, here was his current situation: a eundunhyeong oetori!
Both his parents are only giving him a minuscule weekly allowance just enough to cover basic necessities, unless Seojin decides to go back to studying.
Upon arriving at the convenience store, he grabbed a cup of instant ramen and made his way to the counter.
Ding!
His phone buzzed with a notification, and he unlocked it.
[Seojin] Seojin, looks like me and is a genius like me. Any genius skill.
-> [UwU_senpai69] Skibidi Sigma Rizz Sus Gyatt Ohio NPC
"That comes to fifteen hundred won, sir. Would you like a bag for your purchase?"
The cashier finished ringing up the cup of ramen and tapped a few keys on the register.
But Seojin didn't hear a word. All he could think about was the reply to his comment, the mindless absurdity of someone with such a rotted brain.
Every reply after that were also ridiculous:
-> [itsnotron] MF wutt? :wiltedrose:
-> [ΩSquare] Can I draw your thighs? xXx
-> [ElevenEleven] B-b-buildings?!
-> [sonikcreep] are you a hedgehog? can i lick your feet ;p
-> [LegendBot3000] @sonikcreep, 50 dollars per foot pic bro, deal?
-> [ChoVisuals] Hello! I'm a commissioned artist. I recently finished reading your story and found it very engaging and felt naturally suited to visual storytelling. If you ever like to explore this further, my mail account is always open to talk: chovisuals@goluguludotcom. Best regards, Cho.
The cashier leaned slightly forward, waiting patiently for his response while her fingers rhythmically tapped the counter desk.
"...The fudge is wrong with these unhinged people?"
But the response was unlike what the cashier had expected, and got her thinking if there was something wrong with her service.
"Pardon, sir?"
"Ah."
Seojin's eyes flicked up from his phone, landing on the cashier's flabbergasted expression. Triggered by the ridiculous replies, he muttered an expletive under his breath without thinking.
"Sorry, I was distracted. How much was it again?"
"Fifteen hundred won for the ramen, sir. Will you be paying with cash or card?"
"...Card."
Seojin handed over his card, but the cashier's card reader beeped and flashed red. There was no balance left. He then patted his pockets and realized he also failed to bring his wallet with him.
'Shit, I'm fucked.'
Thus, he tried to charm his way out.
"C-could you cover this just once? I'll pay you back, of course. I can even give you my number and make it worth your trouble."
"I am truly sorry, sir, but I cannot do that."
His face contorted, thinking of other possible solutions given that his exceptional features had failed.
"Then how about dinner tomorrow? My treat."
Tomorrow was Monday, and his mother always sent that miniscule weekly allowance that morning. With nothing else to do, inviting a beautiful girl to dinner (even just once a year) seemed perfectly reasonable.
"I am truly sorry again, sir, but I have a boyfriend. Please step outside. If not, I'll have to call the police."
"..."
Seojin stepped out of the convenience store empty-handed and kicked a random stone on the pavement, watching it skitter across the ground.
Growl!
His stomach growled again.
"Damn it! It's just one cup of instant ramen, what's the big deal?"
Glancing at his phone, he was about to message his mother that perhaps she could send his weekly allowance tonight as he might not last until morning in this case.
But…
Ding!
7
A single number appeared on the screen, even when he has yet to tap the contact of his mother.
Ding!
7 7
Ding!
7 7 7
The number multiplied uncontrollably.
At the same time, he could feel a strange liquid-like sensation running down his nose. He wiped it with the back of his palm and a red frothy liquid painted his skin.
"B-blood…?"
Ding, ding, ding!
SEVEN SEVEN SEVEN SEVEN SEVEN SEVEN SEVEN
There's a saying: never joke with a hungry man.
And right now, Seojin was very, very hungry. He could no longer hold back his frustration.
Thus, he slammed his phone onto the ground and raised his chin, pinching his nose to stop the blood from dripping.
"Since when does skipping a meal for two days cause a nosebleed?"
A full minute passed, and he could no longer feel that sensation.
He wiped his nose one more time with the collar of his shirt and he picked the phone back up.
Thankfully, the screen was intact. The numbers and vibrations had vanished, and everything seemed… normal.
Or at least, until…
Ding!
7
That number appeared on the screen. Unlike before though, the font seemed more to have decorative elements.
"This is ridiculous…"
Seojin hurled the phone across the road, his frustration reached the certain threshold. His phone still lit up in the distance though, giving off a…
Ding, ding, ding, ding!
…repetitive sound so loud as though the speaker was placed directly beside his eardrums.
Seojin fell on his knees, desperately covering his ears and screaming in pain, throwing curses in succession.
"Damn it, damn it, damn it, damn it. It hurts…"
Ding!
7
That single number appeared one more time, but not on the screen. Instead, it appeared exactly before his eyes, floating in midair, then another, and another.
It multiplied endlessly until no matter where he looked, all he could see was a sea of number seven.
"Damn it aaaallll!!"