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the voices in my head

bl4ck_an1m3
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Chapter 1 - the voices in my head

CHAPTER 1

I stared blankly at the wall as the voices in my head kept getting louder. "You are a useless, good-for-nothing, ugly pig," they taunted. "You don't have any value. Just end your pathetic life." "You are a worthless daughter; nobody wants you."

The compass on the bed, with traces of blood, looked soothing. I wanted to use it again, but the sharp pain in my hand made me halt. I looked at my hand with no emotions in my eyes - or, to be honest, the other way around. My face looked blank, but inside, there was a tornado of emotions begging to be let out.

I was about to pick up the compass again to silence the stupid voices, but I heard the living room door open. My siblings were back. I hurriedly hid the compass and used a blanket to cover my body. I didn't want my siblings to see the blood.

The door opened, and I had no option but to close my eyes and pretend to be asleep. "Oh, I think she's sleeping," my little sister said. "Let's just leave her alone so we won't wake her up. I guess she's tired. Let's go watch TV." She said this as she walked out of the room with my little brothers.

Immediately after I heard the door close, I ran to the bathroom to wash off the blood on my hand. I looked into the sink as my blood merged with the water, turning it slightly pink. To me, it was a fascinating and beautiful scene.

I looked up at the mirror, gazing into my own eyes. I knew I looked beautiful, but I kept telling myself I was lacking, with the pimples on my face and my huge nose - or what I thought was a huge nose. I quickly looked away from the mirror before the voices would take over again and I would do something stupid.

I walked out of the bathroom wearing a hoodie with sleeves big enough to cover my entire hand. Then, I went to the living room to check up on my siblings. "Oh, Faye, you're awake," my sister said, making my presence known to everyone.

My mom, sister, and little brothers looked at me like I was an alien. "Why are you wearing a hoodie indoors?" my mom asked with a puzzled gaze. I looked around, trying to find a reasonable excuse. "Nothing, Mama. I just wanted to wear it. It's so comfy," I replied, looking at her with a fake smile on my face.

She looked at me, shook her head, and then continued her work on her laptop. I let out an internal sigh of relief and joined my siblings in watching cartoons.