Robin staggered back to Ruby's side, his shadow flickering as he emerged from the darkness.
"Robin! You okay?!" Ruby rushed to steady him, her eyes wide with worry.
Robin exhaled heavily, sweat dripping down his face. "Y-Yeah… just a little drained. Using my power that much really takes its toll. But… it's done. The fortress is finished."
For a heartbeat, relief washed over them. The battlefield seemed to still. Then—Robin's expression darkened.
"…No way."
From the evacuation zone, voices rose in disbelief.
"What in the world… is that?!"
"Is it some kind of… weapon?!"
"No… it's him." The Dwarf King's voice trembled, his eyes widening at the impossible sight. "To think… the General is this strong!"
High above, hidden in the shadows of ruined towers, a woman watched. A vision of beauty—long azure hair, her figure draped in an elegant Chinese dress—her crimson lips curled in faint amusement.
"Doldrums…" she whispered, her voice silk and venom. "You've surpassed even my expectations. Humans… such terrifying potential." Her smile faltered, eyes narrowing as she clenched her fan. "But… I cannot see myself with anyone but Rudra-sama. How much longer can I keep you dancing in my palm? You are too smart to control forever." Her gaze shifted, landing on Rimuru's blazing form. "…So she's the keeper of my foolish little brother. And perhaps… the leader of this mysterious kingdom. Very well. Let us see how she handles our wild cards."
Back on the field, Robin's ensign—eyes wide with terror—shouted to the soldiers, "I've seen so much superpower before… but nothing like this! What kind of ability lets a man turn himself into a giant tin can?!"
Then the answer came, a voice like thunder rolling across the battlefield.
Doldrums's colossal machine loomed over the Battlefield, its steel chest glowing with a crimson heart. His voice boomed from within, amplified by arcane engines.
"My power allows me to merge and rebuild all that exists around me! Weapons, ships, even the very land itself bends to me! This is my awakening… and with it, I. AM. INVINCIBLE!"
Flames roared as Fatalis's body twisted and stretched, black scales rippling across her frame as she shed her human guise. Her wings unfurled, blotting out the heavens, and her eyes—twin crimson suns—locked onto Doldrums with killing intent.
Her voice thundered, scorching the air like a volcanic storm.
"Invincible? Don't make me laugh, fool. Nothing is invincible. Every power carries a weakness—especially one so bloated with arrogance."
She drove her claws into the shattered earth. Black mist bled from her body, crawling like a living ocean of shadows. It clung to her, twisted, reshaped—her dragonic outline elongating, sharpening, reforging itself into something far greater.
The mist hardened, solidified. Her claws lengthened, warping into a massive ebony blade, its edge carved with runes of ruin, bleeding crimson light.
Doldrums sneered from within his titanic war machine, raising a fist the size of a fortress.
"Another insect? Fine. No matter how many of you crawl out, I will CRUSH YOU ALL!"
Fatalis's wings snapped open, her presence suffocating the battlefield.
"I am Fatalis. Calamity incarnate. And you… shall be undone."
She leapt skyward with impossible grace, the Ebony Blade carving through reality itself. Each slash burned with crimson arcs that tore not only steel and magic—but life itself. The curse of Destined Death gnawed at Doldrums's very soul, making the titan stagger for the first time.
Far off, Morgan's eyes widened in shock. "This power… it feels like Excalibur's radiance. Yet darker. A mirror… no, a cursed reflection of the holy blade."
Then, from the sidelines, a silken voice rose.
"Ara~ Fatalis-san has joined the fray? How delightful. Then we should lend our strength as well."
Kiyohime's form ignited, her slender body unraveling into writhing serpentine coils. With Satria's blessing flowing through her, she became a towering serpent wreathed in azure flame, her voice hissing like molten steel.
Valiana grinned, her eyes burning with fire. "You heard her, Albion. Time to shake the world."
Albion's voice thundered within her soul. "Indeed. Show this world our supremacy, Partner!"
She raised her hands, crimson aura and silver-white light swirling into a vortex around her. Her voice became a hymn, her chant shaking the air itself.
"The pure White Dragon dwelling within me—rise, the silvery-white Morning Star!
The jet-black God of Infinity, the God of Dreams, the Father of Devils—
By his glory, by his throne, we transcend all limits!
All shall kneel before the Golden Emperor's eternal majesty!"
Her words merged with Albion's voice, the chant resonating as one.
"Bear witness—THE TRUE DIABOLOS DRAGON GOD!"
In a blinding eruption, Valiana transformed. Armor of silvery-white and abyssal black fused with scarlet-red veins and golden ornaments, pulsing with a living, organic energy. The aura of Satria, Great Red, Ophis, Lucifer, and Albion merged into one—an existence never before seen.
She descended like a new dawn and a new apocalypse, the battlefield itself trembling under her arrival.
The battlefield froze.
The titan of steel and war loomed above, stitched together from battleships, cannons, towers, and shattered walls. Doldrums stood at its core, his voice booming like a god of machines.
"All weapons… ALL CREATION bends to me! This world itself shall be reforged in my image!"
The colossus raised its arm—a fist the size of a mountain.
The protector of Tempest rose to meet him.
Rimuru's form flickered, shifting between angelic and demonic, wings of starlight and shadow unfurling at once. His voice was calm, yet sharp enough to cut through the chaos.
"Tempest won't fall. Not today."
Beside him, Aditya erupted in flames, his aura blazing gold and crimson. Heat shimmered in waves, his presence like a newborn sun. "If you want to burn the world, Doldrums—then BURN against me instead!"
Fran tightened her grip on the sentient Sword, her eyes glowing with deadly clarity.
"Master… lend me your strength. This foe… must be cut."
Kurumi's laughter echoed, eerie yet intoxicating, as a thousand black clock faces spun into being behind her. Time itself bent around her fingertips.
"Fufufu~ A giant toy. Let's see how long you can dance before your time runs out."
Fatalis spread her wings, the Ebony Blade of Destined Death raised high. Black mist coiled around her, devouring the light.
"I am the Calamity that undoes all. You are no different."
Kiyohime towered above in her serpentine form, coils of blue fire wrapping the sky. Her gaze was feverish, worshipful, locked on her beloved even as it seared through Doldrums.
"For him… for my love… I shall burn even the world into ash!"
And at last, Valiana descended, resplendent in her Diabolos Dragon God form. Silvery-golden wings crackled with golden lightning, abyssal-black armor pulsed with scarlet veins, and Albion's roar echoed with her own voice.
"We are the dawn and the end. Kneel before the White Dragon God!"
The titan's fist came down.
They struck as one.
Rimuru unleashed a storm of gluttonous energy, devouring the bombardment that preceded the punch. Aditya's golden flames coiled with Kiyohime's blue inferno, weaving a storm of dragonfire that melted the air itself. Fran's blade shone black, cutting through reality as she slashed upward. Kurumi's gears of time froze the momentum of the titan's blow for a heartbeat—just enough for Fatalis to carve crimson arcs of death across the knuckles of the war machine. Valiana crashed forward, her wings tearing through space, her fist colliding with the titan's with the force of a god's judgment.
The world shattered.
The impact birthed a shockwave so colossal that entire mountain ranges groaned in protest. The earth split open, cities miles away shook as if under divine wrath. The skies themselves cracked, clouds torn apart in concentric rings of fire and lightning.
For a moment, all light vanished—swallowed in the storm of clashing divinities.
Then came the roar.
A sound so vast, so absolute, that the battlefield itself forgot to breathe. Friend and foe alike were hurled back, thrown from their feet as the first true clash of gods tore the horizon apart.
The titan's wounds knit shut like molten steel, cannons regrowing from slag, vents hissing as they devoured the battlefield's very air.
Doldrums's voice boomed through the war machine, smug and absolute. "Useless!!! My armor absorbs everything—magicules, energy, heat, even kinetic waste—and rebuilds me stronger. Try again. Show me your best. I'll prove your every effort is meaningless."
The temperature plummeted. Flames died, mana fields flickered, even the ozone crackle of Valiana's lightning dulled as the colossus drank it all in.
Rimuru's eyes narrowed. "Raphael—options."
[Raphael: Analysis complete. Armor type: Adaptive Convergence Carapace. Function: omnivorous energy intake + real-time matter reconstruction. Weaknesses detected—(1) starvation: sever intake lines; (2) corruption: feed unprocessable signal; (3) jurisdictional override: treat target as unauthorized structure within Sovereign network. Recommended: combine (1) and (3).]
Rimuru frowned. "Sovereign… network?"
And then it came.
A single chime—like someone had just joined the wrong Discord channel at the worst possible time—cut through the thunder of war.
Above them, a gold-white sigil unfurled like a crown. Out of it descended not a warrior, not a savior, but… a throne.
On it sat Satria, lounging with the regal posture of a man who thought walking was a peasant's problem. In his hand, he held his guitar like a king would wield a scepter.
And carrying this ridiculous throne? A dozen wobbling, groaning eldritch creatures minions summoned from the book he borrowed from certain Cosmic Dark Lord, all struggling under the weight but gamely marching forward like a parody of royal bearers.
The entire battlefield froze—not from magic, not from fear, but from sheer, dumbfounded disbelief.
Because accompanying this spectacle was not a war chant, not a hymn of gods, but…
🎶 the coffin dance meme theme. 🎶
Lighthearted, bouncy, utterly inappropriate—yet blasting with full cosmic authority as though the universe itself provided the soundtrack.
Satria raised his chin, smirking, and declared:
"At this point, you should all really just address me as Emperor of the Universe! Wahahahaha!"
His minions nearly tripped under the weight at his laughter, wobbling the throne dangerously, which only made the surreal parade even more absurd.
The silence that followed was deafening.
His wives—Valiana, Kiyohime, and the others—stared at him with the kind of sharp, burning glares only women who know exactly whose laundry they'll be folding later could muster.
Valiana buried her face in one clawed gauntlet. Kiyohime's serpentine form actually twitched like she might coil up and strangle him out of embarrassment. Even Fatalis, Calamity Dragon herself, blinked in stunned confusion.
For once—even Doldrums faltered, his titan cocking its massive head as though unsure what the hell just entered the battlefield.
The silence held for a beat. Two beats.
Rimuru pinched the bridge of her nose, shoulders sagging. "…What the hell is this idiot doing…"
Shion tilted her head, whispering like it was a secret tactic. "…Is this some kind of new intimidation technique?"
Benimaru didn't even blink. "No. That's just Lord Satria being Lord Satria."
Valiana's temple vein pulsed like a drum. "If this fool weren't my husband, I'd blast him myself."
Beside her, Kiyohime twitched violently, blue fire licking off her serpentine form. "Danna-sama! Please stop embarrassing us… in front of everyone…"
Fran, red-faced, covered her cheeks with both hands. "He's so shameless it… it almost loops back around to being cool? No, wait—it's not cool, it's just humiliating."
Kurumi leaned lazily on her rifle, a sly smile curling. "Ara, ara~ what a performance. To turn a battlefield into his comedy stage… how bold."
Even Great Red, following behind the absurd throne parade, muttered flatly: "…I'd like to pretend I don't know him right now."
Fatalis giggled delicately into her sleeve. "Fufufu~ Oh my, how boldly embarrassing."
Jeanne just… stared. Her gauntleted fingers tightened as she growled. "…You cannot be serious."
Morgan's regal mask cracked, her eye twitching. "…Of all the absurdities I've endured, this one may finally break me."
Robin sweatdropped, muttering under his breath.
"…I've calculated for every kind of fool. But this… this transcends logic."
Ruby tilted her head, oddly impressed. "…But he looks like he's enjoying it."
All around, Tempest's soldiers stared in open shock.
"E-Emperor-sama…?!"
"…Why is there music?!"
"…Are we… supposed to dance??"
Even the enemy faltered.
Doldrums's colossal titan actually lowered its cannons, massive head tilting like a confused dog. His voice rumbled out, baffled. "…What in the rusted hell am I even looking at?"
The battlefield AI chimed in, clinical but just as dumbfounded:
[Error: Threat classification undetermined. Subject displays no tactical logic.]
____
God of Hope: "…What the hell am I watching?! Did this guy just pull a full parade… in the middle of a war?!"
King of Knights: "…This… this defies every concept of battlefield etiquette."
Pervert Sage: "I've fought for centuries, seen every kind of madness—but never in my life have I seen a man pull THIS off!"
Emilia: "U-um… are we sure he's not possessed or something? Because normal people don't… don't do THAT."
Esdeath: "…I can't decide if he's stupid or if he's fearless. This level of shamelessness is… honestly, kind of impressive."
White Lady: "Ohhh, I love this guy. Peak disrespect. Peak trolling. That's how you break an enemy's spirit."
Hero Hunter: "Tch. Idiot's just being an idiot as usual. Can't say I'm surprised."
Spider-Man: "Well… at least he's happy. And if he's here, that probably means this battle's about to end."
_____
Rimuru stormed up to her husband and smacked him on the head.
"BAKA! Do you even realize what you're doing?!"
"Auch! What'd I do this time?!" Satria whined, rubbing his skull.
"You moron—forget it! We've got a bigger problem." Rimuru jerked her thumb at the colossal machine looming over them. "That. Do you have any plan for him?"
Great Red let out a low whistle. "Wow… he's even bigger than me. Damn, this world is wild."
Satria cracked his knuckles, grinning. "Got it! Leave him to me."
He hopped down from his ridiculous throne and locked eyes with the titan.
"HEY!!! YOU GIANT MEGAZORD!!!"
The titan actually paused. "…Huh?"
Satria cupped his hands to his mouth. "GUESS WHAT?!"
"What?!"
"Do you REALLY wanna know?!"
"…Yes! Make it quick before I lose my patience!"
Satria's grin widened. "F*** YOU!!!"
The titan recoiled, then bellowed back: "F*** YOU!!!"
"F*** you!"
"F*** you!!"
"F*** YOU!!!"
"NO—F*** YOU!!!"
Satria stomped forward. "What's your NAME?!"
"…What?!"
"WHAT'S YOUR NAME?!"
"…Doldrums!!!"
"F*** YOU, DILDO!!!"
The titan roared, vents flaring. "F*** YOU!!! What's YOUR name, bastard?!"
Satria puffed out his chest. "Satria!"
"…Satria? That name F****** SUCKS!!!"
"HEY!!! GUESS WHAT I DID LAST NIGHT?!"
The titan twitched. "…Don't you dare—don't you DARE bring my mother into this! My mother—!!!"
"IDIOT! GUESS AGAIN!" Satria pointed across the field. "See that bonfire over there!"
"…And?!"
"I F***ED YOUR DRAGON LADY NEXT TO IT!!"
The titan screamed so loud the ground cracked. "F*** YOU!!!"
"F*** YOU!!!"
"F*** YOU!!!"
"F*** YOU, F*** YOU, F*** YOU!!!"
Satria leaned forward, grinning like a devil. "HEY! Guess what I've got in this bag?"
"What?!"
"This is something I specially made to defeat idiots like you! Wanna see it?!"
The titan's optics narrowed. "What kind of pathetic weapon could be in that tiny bag?!"
Satria slowly reached in… and pulled out his middle finger.
The titan shrieked, sparks bursting from his cannons. "YOU!!! I'LL KILL YOU!!!"
Meanwhile, the spectators—heroes, gods, dragons, soldiers alike—just stood there, mouths hanging open at the absolute clown show unfolding before the titan.
Then—ping!
A notification blinked across the Dimensional Chat.
[New Member Has Joined]
[Frost Dragon Empress]
[Delicious Tuna]
"…Perfect timing to witness my idiot husband's greatest disgrace," Kurumi muttered, peeking at the chat.
"It's okay… you're not alone in this shame." Fran gently patted her shoulder.
All of Satria's wives dragged their hands down their faces in unison.
Valiana hissed between clenched teeth. "Of all the times for him to act like this…"
Fatalis's flames sputtered and dimmed. "Dear… please stop. You're embarrassing us so badly I might immolate myself out of pity…"
Jeanne covered her eyes. "I can't watch. This is beyond secondhand embarrassment."
Kiyohime, however, smirked like a cat who found cream. "Ara~ my, my. So his greatest weapon is bluffing? And who is this 'dragon lady' he claims he bedded, hm?"
Rimuru sighed. "Calm down, Kiyohime-san. He's trolling. I can smell no new woman scent on him. But…" her eyes narrowed, "this bad puppy needs discipline later."
Milim burst out laughing, bouncing in place. "Hahaha! Who's this guy?! He's hilarious! I like him already!"
____
Dimensional Chat:
Kazuma-sama: Oh? New members! Welcome!
Pervert Sage: Ooooh, please let it be a cute girl~
Emilia: Welcome to the Dimensional Chat, both of you!
Frost Dragon Empress: Okay, what is this? I got dragged here mid-report! Someone told me there's a madman ready to shake the balance of my world—and now I see this?!
God of Hope: This defies probability. Even interdimensional timing mocks us. Ahem. Allow me to explain: This group gathers people across multiverse to cooperate. Sometimes we get missions, complete them together, and share rewards. Right now… you're watching one in progress.
Delicious Tuna: This sounds fun already!
Frost Dragon Empress: Fun? FUN?! What in frozen hell am I looking at?! Did I just join a circus instead of a Interdimensional council?! Wait—is he the same person I see now, through my crystal ball?!
Delicious Tuna: "LMAO this is peak content. Is that dude seriously flipping off a giant mech while screaming "fuck you" on loop? 10/10 entrance."
Spiderman: Yeah, welcome to the group. You'll get used to it.
Esdeath: Hehe~ Don't worry, this is just a normal Tuesday around here.
Frost Dragon Empress: If this is "normal," I may need a break.
White Lady: Nah, sis—don't fight it. Embrace the chaos.
_____
Somewhere in the shadows, a woman in a flowing Chinese dress narrowed her eyes at the scene.
"Who is this jester? And that mouth… so vulgar. Yet they call him Emperor? This fool? Hmph. I've never seen him before… even in different dimensions and timelines. I'll need more information. For now, I'll just observe."
•
"Hey! Why you make him angrier? Can you stop being troublemaker for one day?!" Rimuru scolded, hands on hips.
"Right… If you don't behave, there will be no cuddles, and you'll sleep outside for one whole week." Kurumi threatened, and the other wives nodded in firm agreement.
Morgan's voice cut sharper than steel. "If you call yourself Emperor, then act like one. Don't you dare tarnish my master's name with foolish antics."
Satria pouted like a scolded child. "You girls are no fun… fine, fine."
But the battlefield was no place for games.
Doldrums stood tall upon his titan, sparks of violent electricity crawling across his massive arm cannon. His voice thundered like war drums. "You? Their Emperor?! Don't make me laugh! Satria! Today, I'll rip off your head and burn this kingdom to ash! Consider this your punishment for making a fool of me!"
His soldiers stirred, fear etched across their faces, yet their commander's fury drowned them out.
From the Tempest flagship, the atmosphere shifted. The weight of killing intent pressed down, sinking into the bones of every warrior present.
Satria stepped forward. His cloak whipped behind him like a war-banner, his single eye narrowing as golden light flared within it.
"…This is bad," he muttered.
"W-what is it?" Rimuru asked, sensing his shift in tone.
Satria's voice turned grave. "Rimuru. Command everyone—spread out now!"
Confused shouts rang out, but the urgency in his voice left no room for hesitation.
Fatalis, watching from the sky, smirked as she exhaled a plume of smoke. "Oh? That look… seems he's seen a dangerous future."
Satria's haki stretched outward, piercing through the veil of time itself. And in that vision, he saw it: an entire forest outside the wall protection reduced to ash. Innocents drowning beneath collapsing waves. Blood soaking into Tempest's shores.
"The damage is too great," he whispered, body already shifting. His aura surged, bursting into his new Ultra Form. The ground split beneath his feet as he launched himself into the sky like a scarlet-black comet.
"BEGONE, TRASH!!!" Doldrums roared. His titan's cannon-arm charged, magnetic energy warping the air, a colossal railgun forming.
The weapon shrieked with destructive power, the sound alone cracking the waves below.
"Magnificent… to think there's someone like you in this world." Satria's voice echoed, layered with divine resonance. His eyes burned like suns. "But this… is nowhere near enough to bring me down."
And then he vanished.
The sky split apart where he had stood. The heavens tore as his presence blurred into a streak of red and gold lightning.
"DOMINION OVER...!!!" Doldrums's eyes widened. "Wha—?!"
Before the railgun could release, Satria was already upon him, guitar in hand. The weapon was no longer an instrument—it was a divine weapon, wrapped in golden Conqueror's Deity Haki. The sheer density of his will tore apart the clouds themselves, the sky bowing before his strike.
"Glorious Rhapsody!"
A symphony of destruction roared. The sonic wave of haki split the battlefield, ripping through sea and sky alike. The titan shuddered. Doldrums's railgun shattered like glass. Armor cracked. His knees buckled under the impossible weight pressing against him.
"Ghh—!!! What… what kind of power is this?!"
The shockwave rolled across the battlefield, and for a moment, all who watched understood: this was not just battle—it was divine judgment.
"Hey! Mind if I ask something?" Satria's tone was sharp, his gaze unflinching. "I don't recall ever touching or picking a fight with you people yet here you are, attacking us without warning. Why? You call us barbaric, but do you even understand the word diplomacy? Do you even know the rules of war?"
Doldrums scoffed, lightning snapping across his massive frame. "Tch! And how about you? You and your army of monsters building a country out of nowhere, no warning, no order! What the hell are you anyway?"
Satria smirked. "Me? Just a human tossed here by coincidence. Same as you… no?"
That made Doldrums pause, then laugh—loud and booming. "You? A human like me? Hahahaha! This gets interesting. Tell me... Are you from Earth?"
"Yep," Satria replied casually. "Which era? Which country? All this tech you flaunt… don't tell me you're from the future?"
Doldrums's grin twisted into something darker. "Future? From your perspective, maybe. I hail from Boston, America. The year… 2238." His eyes gleamed with madness as he spoke. "The Earth I left behind is a rotting husk—polluted, scarred, poisoned. Nuclear war reduced the world to ash. Nature is dead, skies smothered by smog, cities drowned in toxic fog. What's left after the Great Nuclear War is only machines and corpses. That's my world."
Satria tilted his head, scoffing. "No wonder your brain's fried. You Americans never change, huh? Always sticking your nose where it doesn't belong."
Doldrums's grin turned sharp. "It's common sense as a superpower! You think we'll let a new nation like yours rise unchecked? Replace us? Enough talk—this ends in a DEATHMATCH!"
Satria raised an eyebrow, smirking. "Without your giant Megazord armor?"
"FOOL!!!" Doldrums roared, his aura flaring like wildfire. "I don't need that armor! I'll crush you with my own strength!"
And then—impact.
They moved in unison, two forces colliding like planets. Their fists met, and the world screamed. The shockwave shredded the air, waves split apart, and the horizon warped from the sheer pressure.
"Kneel, insect!" Doldrums bellowed, driving his colossal weight forward.
But Satria didn't flinch. He stepped in, faster than a light, his roar splitting the heavens. His fist shot upward a blazing uppercut wrapped in divine Haki.
The blow struck Doldrums's chest like the judgment of gods.
The shockwave ripped the sky in two, scattering clouds like torn paper. The titan's body was lifted off the earth, hurled skyward at impossible speed. He tore through the troposphere, the stratosphere, the mesosphere—until he vanished into the black void of space, his scream fading into silence.
Satria guitar slung over his shoulder, cloak snapping in the storm left behind. His single eye glowed with golden light as he growled:
"Now… go be a star in your Great America, fucker."
To be continued...