The weather was beautiful—clear skies, warm sun.
Hikigaya and Yukinoshita emerged from the small wooded area.
Yukinoshita stared fixedly at Hikigaya's mouth. After a few seconds of hesitation, she said softly,
"Let me wipe your mouth for you~"
As she spoke, she pulled out a pack of tissues from her pocket, drew one, and reached toward him.
"I can do it myself," Hikigaya said, shaking his head.
"No, let me."
Then she added,
"As thanks for how hard you worked just now."
"..."
Hikigaya's face flushed red, but he replied calmly,
"Oh? So the Ice Queen of Sōbu High has finally been conquered? Too bad though—your expression just now was pretty embarrassing."
"!!"
Yukinoshita's eye twitched. Taking advantage of the fact that no one was around, she reached out and gave him a firm pinch.
"What nonsense are you spouting? I… was embarrassing?"
Whoa whoa whoa!
When words fail, she resorts to violence!?
I surrender! Truce! I yield!
"N-No, I meant… you were really cute!"
Hikigaya quickly corrected himself.
"Hmph~ Just you wait till tomorrow. I'll definitely teach you a lesson then!"
Yukinoshita pouted at him, her voice half-angry, half-shy.
Faced with his girlfriend's deadly glare, Hikigaya broke into a cold sweat and dared not say more.
Stay calm.
She's just a Yukinoshita.
Even though he always got dominated by her… this time might be different. Hachiman is strong!
"Hmm? What's this on your mouth…?"
Yukinoshita suddenly frowned.
"What is it?"
Hikigaya looked puzzled.
"It's… nothing. Just a strand of… um, hair."
Her face flushed as she spoke, then she hurriedly used the tissue to wipe his mouth more vigorously.
"Hair? How would your hair get on my mouth?" Hikigaya asked, perplexed.
"Don't ask questions you shouldn't be asking."
"..."
Hikigaya fell silent.
But the next second, realization dawned. His calm facade cracked, and his face turned beet red.
Crap. That was careless.
Yukinoshita, of course, noticed the shift in his expression. Her own face turned rosy as she stammered,
"W-Were you that into it? You didn't even notice something like that?"
"I-I thought it was just hair…"
"What do you mean you thought?! It was hair!!"
Yukinoshita doubled down.
Hikigaya had no choice but to nod repeatedly in agreement.
"Oh, by the way, you can head back to the classroom first," Hikigaya said before they parted. "I'm a bit thirsty—gonna grab a Max Coffee."
"Thirsty?"
Yukinoshita looked shocked.
"Y-You're still thirsty?!"
"Yeah."
"Y-You… Fine."
Yukinoshita nodded, her face still tinged with pink.
"I'll head back first then. See you this afternoon."
"Mm, see you."
The two of them parted ways.
But instead of heading toward the school vending machines, Hikigaya turned toward a rarely used corner of the school building.
Truth be told, Yukinoshita might not have noticed, but Hikigaya had realized ever since they left the woods—someone was following them.
If it were just simple tailing, it wouldn't be a big deal.
But he was worried: had that person seen what he and Yukinoshita were doing in the woods?
If so, then this could be real trouble.
"Please let it be Kawasaki…"
Hikigaya prayed silently.
If it was Saki, at least she was reasonable.
Just as he carefully turned a corner—
"Senpai~"
"!!!"
A playful voice chirped behind him out of nowhere.
Hikigaya nearly jumped out of his skin. He spun around, only to see—
A ridiculously cute girl standing there, smiling sweetly at him.
"Iroha?"
His surprise quickly gave way to dread.
"Yep, it's me~ Your dearest underclassman~"
Iroha Isshiki giggled and took a step closer, as if about to throw her arms around him. But after a brief hesitation, she stopped short of her usual clingy gesture.
"…What do you want?" Hikigaya asked warily.
"Heehee~ Senpai, school is for studying, you know~ I mean, a little romance is fine now and then… but doing that kind of thing in a public place, inside school grounds no less? That's seriously ruining the atmosphere."
She said all this with a smile, pulling out her phone and waving it in front of his face.
"!!!"
Hikigaya's heart skipped a beat. He forced himself to stay calm.
"I don't know what you're talking about."
"Aw, don't play dumb~ I saw everything you and Yukino-senpai were up to just now. I even got it all on video~"
Iroha's smile was dazzling—and dangerous.
"If you keep acting clueless, I can play the recording for you. Want a peek, Senpai?"
"You…"
Hikigaya's face darkened. "Wait!"
Seeing him flustered, Iroha's grin grew wider as she pressed in, step by step.
"So, Senpai~ what do we do now? As the student council president, what kind of punishment should I give to you and Yukino-senpai, hmm?"
"!!"
Crap. This is really bad.
He'd gotten caught red-handed by her again.
If it had been Saki, he could've just played the pitiful card and gotten away with it. Heck, she might not even care.
But this was Iroha—a little devil in a cute girl's body, practically a mini-Haruno!
"…What do you want from me?"
Hikigaya sighed, resigned.
---
Meanwhile, somewhere else…
[Ding! Host's noontime escapade with Hikigaya Hachiman in the woods was witnessed by Isshiki Iroha. Isshiki Iroha has developed a strong desire to toy with Hachiman. Side Quest Activated.]
[Isshiki Iroha Kissing Task: Host must get your boyfriend Hikigaya Hachiman to kiss Isshiki Iroha on her most important female body part—for five minutes straight.]
[Reward: 800 points]
[Time Limit: 7 days]
"…Huh?"
Yukinoshita stared blankly at the system prompt, standing frozen in the school hallway.
Iroha saw what I did with my beloved husband?
Seriously?!
And on top of that…
Ughhh.
"System, can you please just let me breathe for once!?"
She already had the Yui-mama mission, the Kawasaki mission, the Horikita mission, the ome with my sister, and the Kato mission…
It was too much.
She was already exhausted, and now this?
"And… the most important female body part… That means lips, right?"
Yukinoshita asked hopefully.
[Of course not. Lips? Are you serious? Are lips really the most important female body part? Don't play dumb, Host—you know exactly what it means]
Yukinoshita: "…"