My flippant attitude caused a stir in the surrounding figures. I heard everything from outrage to suppressed chuckles coming from the hooded figures. As tempted as I was to look around at the audience to try and place who reacted in what way, I kept my eyes on the Tribal leader. His expression didn't change in the least, however for a brief moment his eyes focused on me with borderline killing intent.
"The path begins at the western stairs, the sun at your back. You will climb until you reach the shrine of the tiger carved into the spine of the mountain. It will appear when the mountain judges you worthy of it." He stepped closer to me, "The longer it takes, the less worthy you are."
For a moment, our eyes lock. The contempt in his clashing with the stubborn spark in mine. He was the first to break eye contact as he turned and gestured down a path where I saw a gate opening. I turned and started walking, thinking that at least the brazier wasn't burning a dragon and tiger scar onto my forearms.
Once the gate closes behind me and I could no longer feel the eyes of the village boring into my back, I readjust my stance. Carrying this brazier was awkward, and walking normal was taking more strength than it should. Now that no one is watching I started to waddle as I moved. I reached the worn stairs just as the sun started to crest the horizon, its rays beginning to warm my back.
As I started to climb the stairs, I looked closer at the brazier and the fire it contained. My mind felt hollow without the presence of this fire. I had grown so accustomed to the feeling of it, that without it my mind was constantly distracted and focusing on the weirdest things. It felt like someone scooped a part of my mind out and my psyche was trying to fill the hole with random memories and thoughts.
Climbing the stairs at a steady pace, I kept my eyes focused on looking through the fire at the coming steps. After about 20 minutes, I came to a landing that was about 5x5 square. Turning my head to look for the next staircase, I saw a blurry figure being partially blocked by the flames in front of my face.
Focusing on him, I begin to make out his features. He stands about 6ft5in and has sandy brown hair. He had a heavy build and a calm presence, his facial features were familiar in a way that reminded me of some pictures my mother had shown me when I was young.
"The prodigal son comes home at last. About time you paid respect to your blood, son."
Unamused, I snort. "The absentee father, showing up and acting like he has a right to enter my life like its nothing."
"It wasn't my choice to leave Naresh, I was taken. Violently, painfully. I never would have left your mother voluntarily. My death made her life hard and yours lonely. I would give anything to have been there for you both."
My throat tightened, anger and sorrow tangling in my chest until I couldn't tell one from the other. For a moment, I almost believed him. Almost.
"Put the brazier down and let me see you. At least give me a chance to embrace you in a hug, son. The mountain has given us this one chance to meet while you are still alive."
His words confirmed without a doubt that this was a trick. My hope from my early years, the presence of my father to comfort me and teach me. There was a time, that I would have given anything to have the opportunity to feel the loving comfort of my father's arm protecting me, supporting me.
But this… this mockery was nothing but an insult to me. "My father died before I was born, and one day I will learn why. Unfortunately, no ghost in the fire can give me what I want."
He was blocking the next set of stairs, so I pushed forward with the brazier slightly turned to allow the fire to burn him if he stood in my way. He faded away when the first flicker from the brazier touched him and I resumed my climb.
Stair after stair, my steps seemed to take all my effort, again and again. The mind numbing of the climb was mirrored in my thoughts at they tried to fill the place my fire belonged. The hollow void, the ache its absence caused. Random thoughts of Denver then my time in Phoenix and the short time I had been in Forks.
After what felt like hours but could have only been minutes, I came to another clearing. I paused to catch my breath and find the next set of stairs. My vision, still blurred from the flames I carried, saw a figure blocking the stairs when I finally found them. I gave a sigh as I approached. I could see at a glance who was here this time.
"Thomas?"
"Hey Bell's. You here to profess the secret love you always had for me? The forbidden fruit you couldn't have. Like some of those smutty books you like to read so much."
She laughed, the sound was music to my ears. It sounded so real. But her words were a poison knife, cutting me open.
"That's just like you, Thomas. Only seeing it from your angle. I could just as easily take your words to mean that you actually have a crush on me. After all, who held you together when you fell apart in Phoenix? Who put your needs above her own to protect her dear, broken cousin? Crashing into my life and taking away time I needed with my mother. If you weren't there, then I would have been able to keep my mother's attention. She would have never remarried and forced me to go to Forks.
Or should I thank you for that? For placing me in a position to have a chance at an immortal life. All I have to do is convince that broody wannabe Bruce Wayne to change me so I can be by his side forever, or until I find someone I actually want to be with."
Her words slammed into me like a sledgehammer. Is this how she truly felt about me? Was I affecting her life to this extent? I shook my head. No, this isn't the Isabella I know. This is the worst version of her. But was there a kernel of truth in there somewhere? Did I take from her without thought and give nothing back?
I looked at the figure in front of me. "Thank you. You have given me something to think about. I have always known I owed Bella for all she did for me, but I never really thought about what I may have taken from her without realizing it. But I can only work that out with her, it's none of your business."
As I had done before, I shifted the brazier to point the fire in front of myself and stepped towards the next set of stairs. My climb began again with the echoes of her wails when my fire burned her away.
The climb is beginning to take its toll on me, my breath is ragged, and every step is a new level of exhaustion. The next clearing needs to come soon, even though my mind is being tortured, my legs get a bit of rest when I'm talking to whoever the mountain shows me.
From out of nowhere, I feel something slam into my side, and I begin to fall forward with the brazier in my hands. In pure instinct, I slammed the bottom of the brazier on the steps and that gives me a moment to adjust my feet and regain my balance. Looking around, I can't make out what hit me, but almost immediately I feel the blood dripping down my arm.
Whatever it was, it got me good.
As I stood there panting, I could feel the need to continue the climb. After looking around for any movement, I turned and begin my climb once again. This time though, I keep a wary eye on my surroundings.
As my climb continued, I would occasionally catch movement out of the corner of my eye and turn to look, only to see nothing more than a shrub or weed waving in the mountain breeze. Until finally I turn my head fast enough to catch a full look at what it was. It was small, well, smaller than I was used to. But there was no doubt in my mind, it was me… In my tiger shift.