(A lighthearted, nonsensical daily-life chapter, just to show the current state of the village and everyone's lives. Truly, The End!)
"Kurotsuchi, why do you look so upset?" Deidara asked the pouting girl beside him.
Kurotsuchi huffed. "You keep sending a clay clone to deal with me every day. It's infuriating!"
Deidara sighed, a little helpless, and grabbed a skewer from a nearby stall, handing it to her.
"I don't have a choice, you know. Itachi's been watching me like a hawk lately."
"He even pulled out Kotoamatsukami! If my real body gets exposed, I'm done for."
Ever since Sasaren & Narubo became a massive hit, Itachi's patience with Deidara seemed to have reached its limit. These days, he was actively scouring the village for any trace of him.
"Itachi-san is so unreasonable! That movie was amazing, and Sasuke's a huge star now. What's so bad about that?" Kurotsuchi complained.
"Exactly! Exactly!" Deidara nodded enthusiastically.
As the two wandered aimlessly, they turned a corner and spotted a silver-haired man leaning gloomily against the wall, his face half-covered by a mask, lazily flipping through a book.
"Oh, if it isn't the spineless coward, Kakashi." Deidara smirked.
Since every shinobi in the world had gathered here, naturally, Kakashi's old enemies had too.
Kakashi had a habit of burying his nose in questionable books all day but was completely useless when it came to actual relationships. He even had a girl practically throwing herself at him, and yet he still shied away, constantly avoiding people.
Thus, he earned the nickname: Spineless Coward.
Kakashi scratched his head awkwardly. He'd been getting ridiculed like this every day, so he was more or less used to it by now.
"Deidara, you better not turn out like Kakashi-san. Reading that kind of book has definitely messed up his brain," Kurotsuchi muttered, making Kakashi break into a cold sweat.
Deidara nodded solemnly. "Of course not! I'd never read that trash."
Jiraiya's writing skills? Please. Deidara could do better himself.
...
"BIG NEWS! BIG NEWS! The golden goose has finally left the house! She's carrying a suitcase! Everyone, hurry up!"
Out of nowhere, a man came sprinting down the street, waving his arms and shouting at the top of his lungs.
As soon as he made the announcement, a swarm of people surged out from the alleys and shops, all rushing excitedly in the same direction.
Well, it made sense. If you followed along, you'd have a chance at free money. Who wouldn't be excited?
"Lady Tsunade actually managed to hold out for ten whole days before coming out to give away money again. Looks like Jiraiya-sama's savings really have been drained dry," Kakashi sighed.
"Should we go check it out?" Kurotsuchi suggested.
"Good idea!"
The two made their way to a casino on the south side of the village—only to find an absolute sea of people. Forget gambling, they couldn't even squeeze through the crowd.
But thanks to Tsunade's repeated visits, the crowd had developed some discipline. People had formed an orderly line, taking turns gambling against her. Once their turn was up, they had to go to the back of the line if they wanted another round.
Which raised the question—why were people still running around announcing Tsunade's arrival, making the line even longer?
Simple. Those announcers weren't actually gambling. They were selling snacks and drinks to the people waiting in line.
Yep. They had turned it into an industry.
...
"Jiraiya-sama, getting married isn't easy, huh?"
In a dimly lit corner, Deidara spotted a lonely figure sobbing silently, his shoulders shaking with grief.
"Wuuu…!" Jiraiya covered his mouth as he wept. "Do you think I have it easy?! I'm working like a damn mule, writing novels all day! I haven't even dared to take a break! I haven't been to the bathhouse in half a month! I just got my manuscript payment today… wuuu…!"
"YO! Jiraiya-sama! Youth does not allow for tears!"
A loud, energetic voice cut through the air. Guy and Lee, both clad in their iconic green jumpsuits, sprinted past, each carrying a massive stack of bento boxes.
Well, if they were already running laps around the village every day, why not deliver food while they were at it? Two birds with one stone.
After handing out their orders, Guy gave a thumbs-up, striking his signature pose.
"YOSH! We finished today's 500 deliveries one minute faster than yesterday! A great improvement!"
"As expected of Guy-sensei!"
"But Lee! Youth must not be stagnant! We shall now open the Eight Gates and deliver 500 more meals—this time within one hour!"
"Yes, Guy-sensei!"
"EIGHT GATES—OPEN!"
As the two disappeared in a blur, Deidara could only sigh in admiration. The Eight Gates Delivery Service was truly revolutionizing the food industry. Their speed was unmatched.
...
"Wait… is that Hidan?"
Sure enough, standing in the queue was the silver-haired immortal himself.
"Hidan, what the hell are you doing here? Since when were you into gambling?" Deidara asked curiously.
Hidan scowled. "Like hell I care about gambling. This is all because of Kakuzu! That greedy bastard couldn't resist a chance to make money."
"Why not just have him use a shadow clone?"
Hidan rolled his eyes and pointed at the line. "See that guy? And that one? And that one? And those over there? Every single one is Kakuzu's shadow clone."
Deidara was speechless. He had underestimated Kakuzu's commitment to making money.
...
"Oh, right. I ran into Kisame earlier. He told me to remind you to settle his tab at the fish market and the tavern."
Kurotsuchi frowned. "Why does Deidara have to pay for Kisame-san's bills?"
Hidan smirked. "Because if he doesn't, Kisame said he'll stop feeding him intel on Itachi's whereabouts."
"Fine, fine." Deidara sighed, already resigning himself to his fate. He was just about to drag Kurotsuchi off to find something else to do when—
A small snake slithered out from the shadows.
"Deidara, come to Nagato's office."
The voice belonged to Orochimaru.
Under Kurotsuchi's annoyed glare, Deidara reluctantly made his way to the office. There, he found Nagato slumped over his desk in utter despair, while Konan stood beside him, her usual cold and composed self.
"Leader, what's wrong? You gotta take care of your health!" Deidara exclaimed in mock concern.
Nagato grasped his hands tightly, looking at him like he was his last hope.
"Deidara… I see the potential in you. Why don't you take over as leader?"
Images of that fateful afternoon flashed through Deidara's mind—the day he had temporarily taken command. The sheer agony of that experience was still burned into his memory.
"Leader, I am far too unworthy for such a position. This role was meant for you!"
Before Nagato could protest, Deidara turned to Orochimaru and Sasori.
"Why'd you call me here, anyway?"
Orochimaru licked his lips. "Deidara, I want to build a spaceship and find the Ōtsutsuki clan's home planet."
Deidara scratched his head. "What does that have to do with me?"
"I need funding. You've been making a lot of money lately. Care to contribute?"
"You wish. Do I look like money falls from the sky for me?"
Orochimaru chuckled darkly. "In that case… I'll have no choice but to tell Itachi where your real body is."
"Ugh. You're despicable."
....
The end
(T/N: That's it—the second fanfic has come to an end! I really hope you enjoyed it as much as I did translating it. Thanks for sticking with me through the whole journey. If you spot any mistakes, feel free to drop a comment under this or the first chapter so that future readers can have an even better experience.
I had an awesome time working on this one, even though it took ages (reading these takes days, but translating takes way longer!). I did my best to clean up the Chinese elements, and your feedback means a lot. I'll be removing the Patreon reminder about the advanced chapters soon—I know it can be a bit annoying.
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