Lucas's Perspective:
9:42 PM - 1/1/2018
The waterfall hammered down on my back like a sledgehammer, and the snow-cloaked valley around me looked like the world's most aggressive freezer. Frost clung to the rocks, the wind was basically chewing on my bones, and I—shirtless, kneeling under a freezing waterfall—felt my soul shivering.
"ACHUUU!" I sneezed so hard my vision jittered.
Great. At this point, even the demons of hell would be offering me a blanket.
SYSTEM, HOW MUCH LONGER?!
「 That is a surprise. 」
I clenched my jaw. "You—"
Of course.
I was sitting in a freezing waterfall because System-ahh claimed I'd receive some special, one-time-only divine protection. Something "immensely valuable" and "life-changing," which in system language could mean anything from god-tier immortality… to a coupon.
But hey, I'm not the type to skip a potential power-up.
Even if my toes feel like they're drafting a will.
"ACHUU!"
"Bro, someone is definitely remembering me right now."
「 Maybe your well-wishers? 」
"You mean my haters."
My mind drifted to Kaiser—who casually said "rock, paper, scissors," won instantly, and sentenced me to one hundred completely unnecessary push-ups like some tyrant.
No worries. He'll face my revenge soon enough. Maybe he's already suffering from it.
EYE FOR AN EYE!
And right after that, System hit me with:
Congratulations! New SECRET quest: Sit shirtless under a freezing waterfall until enlightenment or death, whichever comes first.
The water beneath me was so cold I swear I saw a fish turn into an ice cube mid-swim.
"Bro, System… what's the prize at least?"
「 That is a surprise. 」
"Then what's the divine protection?"
「 That is also a surprise. 」
"…System, how much longer?"
「 That too is a surprise. 」
I sighed. "System… are you gay?"
There was a sharp electronic gasp.
「 Ayo ninja, what did you just say?! I am a fantastic 4D system with a preference for female systems. Shut yo mouth—know who you are talking to. 」
I blinked. "I thought you were gonna say 'that is also a surprise.'"
「 . 」
"Don't you dot-dot me. Tell me now! I'm gonna freeze!"
The system let out a digital sigh so dramatic it might've been rolling its imaginary eyes.
「 Fine. I'll share it, ninja. The divine blessing you gain is called: The Divine Bed Protection. 」
"…Divine… bed protection?"
Even in the cold, my survival instincts briefly transformed into ambition.
Focus, Lucas. Focus on the future. Not on the degeneracy.
'Divine bed protection'… That had to be that kind of protection. Okay. Maybe not useful right now—I'm fifteen, not ready—but in the future? When I gain a fanbase… loyal… female followers… This could be extremely strategic.
Very. Very. Very.
I am a solo leveler. Not a family man who pays support.
I finish the quest. I run away.
"Alright, System. What's it actually gonna do?"
The system's tone suddenly went grave and somber, like it was delivering ancient universal wisdom.
「 This divine protection ensures that while you sleep… you never fall off the bed. Your safety is guaranteed. Protected.」
I stared at the waterfall.
Then stared at the sky.
Then stared at nothing.
"."
My soul physically left my body.
"NINJA—"
My foot slipped on the icy rock and—
SPLASH.
I fell straight off the waterfall into freezing hell.
"YOU STUPID SCAMMER!" I yelled, thrashing in the arctic water.
「 Game is game. 」
I wanted to cry.
And thus, there I was… drenched, freezing, and spiritually gone… blessed with nothing but 'Divine Bed Protection.'
What a life.
——————————————————————————————————————————
Kaiser's Perspective:
9:51 PM - 1/1/2018
The blizzard clawed at the tent like some rabid spirit desperate to get in, making the canvas shudder and the lantern sway in a soft amber rhythm. Inside, though, it was warm—awkwardly, dangerously warm.
Mostly because Celia was sitting across from me, face red.
"I… I said it already… I love you, Kaiser. I really do. Too much, probably. That's why I get so jealous—why I get so… obsessed." Her voice trembled.
She rambled the last word, starting to crawl towards me slowly.
I blinked. "I genuinely didn't expect you to drop that on me like this, Celia."
She froze mid-crawl—yes, mid-crawl—hands folded in her lap while she tried to gather the rest of her courage. A sly smile flickered across her lips, but her eyes were pure panic.
"I… I…" She trailed off into helpless stuttering.
"Do you want to sit next to me?" I asked gently, because she looked like she might combust, faint.
She nodded so shyly it could've counted as a bow.
I smirked and gave her the slightest tilt of my head—permission granted.
She moved toward me slowly, carefully. When she finally sat beside me, her thigh brushed mine. Just that faint touch made her tense up. Blush flooded her cheeks; I swear I could hear her heartbeat over the storm.
I leaned slightly her way. "So, Celia?"
Her tongue tripped over itself. "Y-Yes… K-Kai…"
That nickname hit differently coming from her—soft, earnest, terrified. She was still fidgeting with her sleeves, twisting the fabric like she was trying to wring her nerves out through it.
Honestly… I'd always known something was off—no, not off. Different. Her care was never just "friendly." Follow me around where I went. Her eyes followed me too quietly. Her reactions were too sharp when someone else got close. I'd chalked it up to her being… Well, Celia. Turns out I was just emotionally slow on the uptake despite supposedly being the "mature" one.
I exhaled slowly. "This love… Can you tell me when it actually started?"
Her breath hitched. She hesitated, then—almost painfully—reached toward me. Her hand shook like she was touching fire. When her fingers finally brushed mine, she instantly tensed…
So I turned my hand and let hers rest fully on top of it.
Her shoulders dropped a fraction. She took a deep, trembling breath—one that sounded like she was bracing her heart for impact.
Her lips parted, voice barely above a whisper.
She squeezed my hand a little tighter, grounding herself before she spoke.
"When we first met… in the forest," she whispered, "I liked you already. You saved me from those Noctis Graspers… and you gave me something to eat." Her lips trembled, embarrassed but sincere. "No one had done that for me in… years. You made me laugh. You made me smile. I didn't even remember what that felt like."
Her fingers curled tighter around mine; this time it wasn't fear — it was emotion spilling over.
"It felt like… like the wish I kept making since I was little finally came true. Someone… actually cared."
I let her continue, quietly nodding.
"And I-I got attached to you so fast… even though we only spent minutes together at first. You told me those stupid, reckless stories just to make me laugh. You… you always tried to make me smile. Didn't you?"
I shrugged lightly. "Guess you looked better smiling than frowning. So I did what I could."
Her laugh burst out, small and sweet. "In doing that, you won me, okay? Completely."
Then her expression softened into something deeper, the stormy red of her eyes warming.
"And after that… every single time you risked your life for me — against Ronan, against Kiel, even when my powers tried to take over — you still stepped toward me. Never away." Her breath trembled.
"When I was treating your wounds in Levinton… I was already in love with you."
"Really?" I asked, honestly surprised.
She nodded shyly. "You were so gentle with me… even when you were the one bleeding."
She paused, thinking, then began rambling with a nervous rush.
"When I fed you soup I was… happy. When I changed your bandages I was happy. Even when you were asleepI— I felt happier just knowing you were still with me." Her voice went tiny.
"Everything about taking care of you… made me feel like I finally had something precious."
Then her eyes widened a bit. "A-Am I talking too much? Is this annoying?"
"Yes," I said, leaning in with the faintest smirk, "it's annoyingly perfect. Keep going."
Her face lit up instantly.
She tucked a strand of white hair behind her ear and continued. "Remember… that time I tried one of Emma's dresses? And you said you'd like it if I wore black?"
I glanced at her outfit. Now that she mentioned it… she had been wearing black almost every damn day since I came back.
"Don't tell me you changed your whole style because of one offhand comment I made."
She laughed softly. "Maybe I did. I wanted you to look at me and think I was pretty… even if it was silly. I love everything about you, Kai. The way you talk, the way you tease, the way you care for me even when you pretend not to."
She nudged my shoulder, a playful spark in her eyes. "And remember when you called me your 'wife' in front of the whole village? You were annoying me so much that day!"
I snorted. "You were probably getting tired of being that cute. So I gave you an official title."
Her cheeks flared even redder, but her smile was unstoppable.
"I love that title."
I reached over and gave her a gentle flick on the forehead.
"You're a bold girl, you know that?"
She puffed her cheeks instantly, glaring up at me with indignation.
"I know what I want," she huffed, "and I'm not scared to get it."
"Oh?" I tilted my head, giving her the look. "And is it… me that you want?"
Her confidence shattered into sparks. She froze, face going scarlet, then practically melted against my shoulder like her bones gave up on existing.
"...Yes," she whispered. "It's you. I want you for myself."
Her fingers curled around my sleeve, holding on like she was scared I'd disappear if she blinked.
"You're my first love," she murmured, "and you'll always be my only love. Forever… I promise."
That one hit harder than I expected.
I cleared my throat, trying to break the intensity before she killed me with devotion alone.
"So tell me… which one of my outfits gives you butterflies?"
Her head snapped up. "E-EH?! Why would you even—"
I raised a brow. "Oh come on. You definitely have one."
Her eyes darted away. Her voice shrank.
"...The dark overcoat. The one you wore when you came to rescue me during the Rinascita trial." Her hands twisted nervously. "You looked… really good."
I smirked. "My clingy wife remembers everything I do."
She slapped my arm weakly. "Of course I do!"
I shook my head with a grin. "Yeah, yeah, princess. You're a special one."
She gave me a look — the kind that meant I'm about to do something bold and you can't stop me. And this is just insurance to let you know you're mine!
Then she slid closer, looped her arm through mine, and hugged it tight like she claimed exclusive rights on the limb.
"Uh— hello?" I asked, amused. "You good?"
"No." She tugged me a bit closer. "Come here... I'm not done wanting you."
I choked out a laugh. "You're adorable, princess."
Her eyes snapped up, sharp and serious.
"Call me Celia. Only that."
I arched an eyebrow. "Isn't 'princess' cuter? Most girls would faint if I called them that—"
"Only Celia." She leaned in, voice soft but absolute. "It's the name you gave me. I want to hear it from you."
I sighed dramatically. "Ugh… me and my wife."
She poked my chest. "Say my name!"
"Celia."
"Again."
"Celia."
"Again! Again!"
"Celiaaaaa."
"AGAIN!" she demanded, leaning so close her breath hit my lips.
"CeliaaaaAAaAAa!" I said it like a man being held at knife-point.
Her face blossomed into a radiant smile. Then suddenly her hands were on my cheeks, warm and gentle as she cupped them, pulling me closer.
"I'm so happy," she breathed. "I love you so, so much."
The moment she cupped my face, her thumbs brushing my cheeks, I knew I was doomed.
"Celia—"
Too late.
She leaned in and planted a quick kiss on my cheek.
Then another.
Then three in a row.
Peck. Peck. Peck.
"Hey— wait—"
Peck-peck-peck-peck.
"Celia—!"
She suddenly pressed a kiss to my lips, feather-light and quick, then pulled back with a playful grin.
"I can't stop," she declared proudly.
Then she tackled me.
I lost my balance completely, falling back onto the blankets with a thud.
"Oof—! Celia!"
She climbed right on top of me, straddling my waist like she'd done this a hundred times, her hair falling around us like a white curtain.
And then—
Peck.
Peck.
PECK.
"Ugh— you little angry bird—"
"Noww!" she protested between attacks.
Kiss.
"You're—"
Kiss.
"mine—"
Kiss.
"mine—"
Kiss.
"MINE!"
She purposely missed my lips on every other kiss just so she could cover everything — my jawline, my nose, my cheeks, my forehead, whatever she could reach.
I swear she was creating a map of me for future reference.
I barely had time to breathe.
"Celia— I need a—"
She suddenly collapsed onto my chest dramatically, playing dead.
I blinked down at her. "What… finally tired?"
She muffled into my shirt, "One second… I'm recharging."
"Oh thank the—"
She popped up.
Peck-peck-peck-peck-peck!
"CELIA—!"
She paused just long enough to announce loudly,
"One—"
Peck.
"Two—"
Peck.
"Three—"
Peck.
"Four—"
Her kisses tickled. Which meant I grinned. Which meant she grinned like she discovered a cheat code and doubled her efforts.
"Five— six— seven— eight— nine— ten— eleven— twelve— thirt—"
I grabbed her sides.
Her eyes widened.
"No— w-wait— Kai— don't you— rkh—!!"
I started tickling.
Her entire soul combusted.
"STO—HAHA— NO— KAISER— HAHAHA— I CAN'T— I— Hahaha—!"
She squirmed on top of me, laughter bubbling uncontrollably, trying to escape but failing miserably because I held her in place. Her hair brushed my face, her giggles warm and bright, echoing off the inside of the tent.
Finally she collapsed onto me again, breathless, flushed, and smiling like she'd just won a battle she wasn't trained for.
Her laughter faded into soft little trembles against my chest.
She was still sprawled on top of me, breathing fast from all the laughing and ambush-kisses… and then suddenly—She froze.
Her body stiffened just a little, like she suddenly realized exactly where she was sitting.
And her blush?
Absolutely catastrophic.
"K-Kai…" she whispered, voice shrinking as her cheeks reddened.
Before she could overthink herself into a coma, I steadied her — my hands sliding gently to her waist.
She jolted like I'd just set her on fire.
"H-hey—! D-don't just… do that…!" she squeaked, shoulders curling, thighs squeezing a little instinctively.
I smirked. "Relax. You are the one straddling me."
She absolutely hid in my chest after hearing that, burying her face so deep I almost lost her.
"Kaiii…" she whined, voice muffled.
I brushed her hair back from her face, fingers slipping through the soft strands. She shivered — not from cold, but from being seen like this.
Her breath steadied… then trembled… then steadied again.
And in a tiny voice, barely audible:
"…did you… like it?"
I blinked. "Like what?"
She didn't move.
"…b-being kissed by me…" she whispered, so soft it almost melted into my shirt.
Oh she was destroyed saying that.
I could practically feel her soul curling up into a blushing ball.
I let out a slow, dramatic sigh. Time to poke the queen.
"Well," I said, dragging the word out, "my obsessed wife was kinda… persistent."
She lifted her head in a snap, glaring cutely. "I'M NOT— hey—! I'm not persistent— I just— I love you— and—!"
"And you attacked me because of love?" I teased.
She weakly thumped my chest with one small fist.
"You're mean…"
"I'm honest," I corrected.
She sank back down, still flustered.
"…so… did you like it?"
I tilted her chin up gently, making her meet my eyes.
"Yeah," I said softly. "I liked it."
Her lips parted.
Her whole body relaxed against me like she'd been waiting her whole life for those words.
She slowly slid down, resting fully against me, her cheek pressed to my chest as the lantern flickered beside us.
Her fingers curled around the fabric of my shirt — almost needy, but gentle.
"…I've… never felt this safe," she murmured. "Not with anyone. Only you."
I wrapped an arm around her.
"Celia?"
"Mhm?"
"You're crushing my ribs."
She gasped and lifted her head. "S-sorry—!"
I tugged her back down. "Come here, obsessed wife."
She let out a tiny gasp but melted instantly, curling into me like she belonged there.
The blizzard battered the outside of the tent, but inside… Everything was warm.
She spoke into my chest again, voice delicate.
"…Kai?"
"Yeah?"
"…don't push me away. Ever."
I tightened my hold around her.
"I won't."
She exhaled slowly, content.
She was still sitting on top of me, hips resting lightly against my stomach, arms draped over my chest like she was claiming territory. Her cheeks were still pink from earlier, and she kept stealing these tiny, embarrassed glances at me.
I brushed a strand of white hair from her face.
She pressed her forehead to my chest, mumbling something I couldn't catch.
"Celia… you okay down there?" I asked, trying very hard to sound normal.
She nodded… then shook her head… then nodded again.
A warning sign.
After a long moment, she whispered, voice trembling like she was confessing a crime:
"Then… it means you're my husband now… right?"
I blinked.
Twice.
Maybe four times.
"…Huh?"
She slowly lifted her head, eyes glossy and hopeful.
"I kissed you more than fifty times," she said, deadly serious, "it means we're bound forever. So… we're married now. Obviously."
My soul briefly left my body.
"Wait— what book is this from—?"
She puffed her cheeks, offended I wasn't celebrating our sudden wedding.
"That's how it works," she insisted, tapping my chest. "Fifty kisses means eternal union."
"…Since when?"
"Since Lucas told me!"
I stared at her.
Then stared at the ceiling.
Lucas.
Her source was Lucas.
Of all people.
"Celia," I said slowly, "Lucas's entire knowledge base is just…"
"'Source: Trust me bro.'"
She tilted her head, confused. "But why would he lie?"
Oh.
Oh this was a setup.
A strategically calculated strike.
Internally I was screaming.
No. Just no. How did my life even get here? I didn't sign up for this. I didn't even read the fine print of life saying: "Warning: Lucas is your friend."
I won at rock-paper-scissors a few times. Few. And now he's out here plotting revenge like I just declared war on his entire existence. Even normal enemies don't do this. Normal enemies are at least plotting some bloodshed, not marriage…
What did I do? Did I offend his entire bloodline? Did I sneeze in Lucas' general direction once in 2016? Because apparently that's enough to warrant a full-scale betrayal. I feel… small. Pathetic.
And Lucas? He's smiling, calm, totally "trust me, bro" as if he's helping. Helping. Yeah, right. That's exactly what the villain says right before the "surprise trap" scene. And I… I'm trapped.
Celia leaned closer, eyes sparkling, her lips brushing my cheek like a punctuation mark.
"So… that means I'm your wife. Right?" she asked, voice soft and dangerously cute. "Forever?"
I opened my mouth.
Nothing came out.
She poked my chest again. "Say it~"
"Celia," I said, trying to steady my voice, "you can't just— declare marriage— over kiss counts—"
"But they weren't just kisses," she said quickly, cheeks glowing. "They were mine. And they were for you. That counts."
I swallowed. Hard.
She curled against me, arms sliding around my waist in a quietly possessive way, like she was hugging her claim tighter.
"Besides…" she murmured, "you didn't stop me. You held me. That means you accepted."
I felt her smile against my chest.
"And husbands shouldn't break their bride's heart."
I was doomed.
"So I'm supposed to just nod and agree because Lucas told you so? That's… absurd. And I'm still alive, by the way."
"I don't care!" she shot back, leaning closer, eyes blazing. "You're mine, Kai. Forever! That's how it works!"
I chuckled. "Celia, if kissing fifty times makes you my wife, then technically, Lucas's word must be the law?"
"Nonononono! You are mine now! Forever!" she argued, shoving a finger at my chest. "Lucas said so!"
What is this situation I am in…? Well. Desperate moments need desperate measures. I'll have to go with this strategy.
"I just…" I exhaled slowly. "You're not my type."
Her expression shattered so fast I almost reached up to fix it with my hands. Her lips parted, trembling, her usual confident smirk nowhere in sight.
"Not your… type?" she echoed, barely audible.
"…Why?" she pressed, leaning closer, her forehead nearly touching mine. "Why… why not me?"
I stayed quiet.
She bit her lip, panic creeping into her eyes. "…Tell me! You have to… I need to know!"
Still nothing.
Her hands shook now, clutching my shirt like she was afraid I'd leave. "…Please… just tell me what I'm missing. What do I need to do?!"
I didn't move. Didn't speak.
Her chest heaved, desperation spilling out in ragged breaths. "…Is it something I can fix? Something I can—can be?"
I only looked at her. Silent. Unmoving.
She pressed closer, almost on the verge of tears. "…Then… then tell me… If I'm not enough as I am… how do I become someone you can't let go of?"