(James's POV)
"Ugh, my head."
I had just woken up after Roo's little excursion with me in the shadow realm. Right now I was in the bed with Nifty, my arm wrapped around her nude and still unconscious form. I still really don't know how I bagged her. I guess saving somebody's life from almost certain death could build a little bond.
I wiggled my way out of her surprisingly strong grasp and sat on the edge of the bed, preparing myself for the rest of the day by looking into the distant void of nothingness, like any proper man should, when I noticed something different.
I was much taller than I normally was, and I looked down at my four arms.
… I was in my Heian form.
I frowned and quickly transformed back into my normal self. That's actually pretty weird. I've never done that before without wanting my body to, so why would I suddenly wake up like this? Must be the dream from Roo or something.
I shake my head, putting on a standard pair of blue shorts and a white tank top while I make my way to the bathroom to do my business and my morning routine, when I notice something even weirder.
I was never the most bulky guy; hell, I was bordering on being underweight before I came here. Luckily, I've been eating better and exercising with Vaggie every day, but even then I've retained a sort of swimmers physique, y'know?
So imagine my surprise when I look at myself in the mirror and not only look like I gained an extra 10 pounds of muscle, but I also have what seems to be small closed eyelids under my own eyes.
Okay, fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, ask the gambling system who gave you these powers what the hell is going on.
"Oi, system, what the hell is happening?" I ask to the nothingness of the bathroom. And like how nothing usually is, it's pretty quiet for a few seconds until the system finally responds.
[Why w-what is happening, Host?]
I raise a brow. "Well, I woke up in my Heian form, first of all, and then I looked like I ate a small child and used his nutrients to bulk up at the gym for 4 months." Again, the system takes a little bit to respond.
[W-well, Host, your body is adapting to the changes your powers have brought upon it.]
"What the hell does that mean?" I ask the system who's definitely acting a bit weird, stuttering and all.
[Your powers are stored in your soul, Host; the only way for something like this to happen would be if you came into contact with someone extremely strong, yet I don't remember you ever doing that.]
Someone of extreme power? Shouldn't Roo count as that? "System, don't you remember Roo?"
[...Host, who are you talking about?]
"Roo, you know? Embodiment of evil and crap, the one that tries to boost the ten shadows."
[Host, that would be impossible; this 'Roo' character would need to be on the same level of existence as the system to even affect your powers, and the system is an omniversal entity.]
"Omniversal? I know for a fact that you don't even know what that word means."
[...O-okay, that may have been a bit of an exaggeration, but the system is still a very strong existence; only a few in the multiverse could best it.]
Damn, forget Roo. How strong is the system? I know some people back on Reddit would be creaming in their pants hearing how my system is multiversal+ with hax, battle IQ, and a free point… But that's just hoping Wally West doesn't appear.
What was I thinking about again? Oh yeah, the whole Roo shebang. Well, it's pretty damn obvious that the system can't remember her for some reason, which is actually pretty damn disturbing, but I can't really do anything about it right now. Maybe I'll call the system next time I meet her.
"Alright, system, you can go." I say, waving it off.
[A-actually, Host, I was planning on telling you that I recently got an update.]
"An update? What are you, Cyberpunk? How'd you get an update?"
[W-well, it seems upper management recently gave me more freedom with your quests and even a new function.]
"Upper management? Are you part of a business?" I cut myself off, putting my arms up and taking a deep breath before beginning to brush my teeth. "Just lay it on me."
[Previously, I could only give you quests that would directly affect only the plot of the main characters here and nothing else, but now I can give you quests that can affect the fates of others as well.]
I mean, cool, I guess. I don't really need more power right now, but I guess insurance is always good to have.
[Also, this new function is called the achievement system; whenever you complete something worthwhile to the system's standard, you'll be able to get upgrade and limit breaker cards.]
This actually got me to stop brushing. "Like the same card that got me my Heian form and a new one?"
[Yes, Host]
Man, that's actually pretty damn good. I'd rather improve on my base kit than get myself a bunch of powers that I can barely use… COUGH COUGH ALL FOR ONE COUGH COUGH
Anyway, after the system finished, it quickly went back to whatever it did when it wasn't here, and I finished my routine, going downstairs while scratching my stomach. When I finally got downstairs, I saw Angel lying on the couch, one leg on the ground and the other draped across the couch as he joyfully crunched on some popcorn.
You know, I never mentioned it before, but Angel Dust has practically no male features, no bulge, no Adam's apple, nothing. Now I know it may be "pretty damn gay" to be looking for bulges and Adam's apples on other dudes, and, you know… Yeah, that's pretty damn gay.
I rid those thoughts from my head and walked into the front room. "Hey, what's cracking, Angel—"
"WHO MADE THAT MESS!?"
"Y-Y-YOU DID, KING!!! Y-Y-YOU DIGGING ME LIKE CRAZY~"
…
This nigga Angel Dust was sitting in the room, a handful of popcorn in his hand, while watching gay porn, wasn't he?
I look over to the TV, and, yep, that's a dude getting fucked.
"...Angel Dust."
He finally notices me and lazily waves at me while continuing to watch his gay porn.
"Heyyo, Darkside, don't mind me, just observing the new talent in the industry."
"...What the fuck are you talking about?"
This time, he sits up while talking to me, although still eating. "Ever since I've been staying away from Valentino for a little while, the porn industry has been going through a boom. I guess when you can't monopolize something, the real talents of the industry truly shine through."
"...Angel Dust, let me make this extremely clear: You are watching gay porn in the lobby of a hotel."
He makes a wishy-washy gesture with one of his other hands. "I mean… You could say that."
I was going to point out that that was literally the exact thing he was doing before a voice suddenly came from behind me. "Oh, is that LoveAndLightTV?"
I quickly turned around and saw the person asking that question was… Amery!?!?!!
"Yeah, baby, how'd you know?" Angel Dust asked, making space for Amery on the couch while sharing his popcorn. "I won a raffle last week that allowed me to go to one of their live showings."
Angel Dust scoffed. "UGH, lucky!"
… I don't think this is processing for me; the literal robot that doesn't feel attraction is eating popcorn next to a porn star while watching gay porn like a movie. And that's not to mention she apparently went to a live gay porn viewing.
WHAT THE FUCK?
"Oh, is that LoveAndLightTV?" I turned around at mach speed, knowing the voice was that of my girlfriend, who had also joined Angel Dust and Amery on the couch.
…
If Vaggie or Charlie come in here and say some shit like "Oh, is that LoveAndLighTTv!?" and act like it's normal to watch gay porn, I'll kill myself on the spot.
Suddenly, Charlie came down the hall, yawning in her pajamas while sleepily walking. "W-what's that clapping sound, guys—" Her eyes turned to the TV and shot open, a bright red blush adorning her face while covering her eyes. "Angel Dust!" She calls out in a chastising voice.
"What, babe? I'm not doing anything." He retorts.
"I know of your… job and what you provide, but you can't just play porn on our shared television!" Charlie yells out, fully embarrassed.
Thank God, SOMEBODY in this hotel doesn't watch gay porn.
"Oh, is that LoveAndLightTV?" Vaggie asks, standing right next to me while pointing at the TV.
… Just put the Hollow Purple in my chest at this point, bro. 🥀
"DOES EVERYBODY IN THIS HOTEL WATCH GAY PORN EXCEPT FOR ME???"
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(THE END)
(Shameless plug:Ko-fi.com/mrlegantrop)
I got a few more concepts for y'all that I'll drip-feed throughout these next few chapters.
Title: Hulk Fiend
Summary: Rage incarnate, that is what most people would define Hulk, and they wouldn't be wrong at all. Yet, even rage needs to be put to bed sometimes and our protagonist, Lariat, was the one who helped hulk. Hulk had never felt this kind of love before, only ripping and tearing, yet he could tell his nature would inevitably come back and he would rip this puny human apart, so Hulk did only thing Hulk could do. Live inside human. Now Lariat must navigate being the hybrid of rage in Chainsaw Man!