"What's so damn funny for you to have that aggravating and goofy smile on!" He looked me in the eyes and chuckled a bit.
"I was just thinking that you haven't changed, you still have that insistent pride that won't allow you to accept help from nobody but your brother. Call me weird but I always thought it was cute." My body stiffened again, if I had a pale face I most certainly would be showing my blush right now. I couldn't understand it, I've been sweet talked by many men around the world. Some way more attractive than him. This is Nick, my little brothers best friend, something like a little brother to me. So why was he having this effect on me? He gave me a look, smiled and continued speaking. "I'll tell you what, how about I pay you back for this whole injury thing by taking you to breakfast? My treat." This really wasn't how I planned my day off going. Being with Nick confused me and spending more time with him would just confuse me more.
"No thank you. I'm really not that hungry." On cue my stomach made a loud grumble. I buried my hands in my face dying of embarrassment. Nick just laughed again.
"Your stomach says otherwise, come on it's not like I'll bite. You need to eat." I kept my face hidden in my hands and just nodded. "Perfect just follow me and I'll lead you to the best breakfast spot in Miami."
I ended up following Nick to a little restaurant along the beach in Sunny Isles. It was nice, I had never seen Nick so confident and within himself. He was funny, every chance he got he made a comment to make me smile and laugh. Little by little he got my guard down to the point where I was comfortable. I was myself again just like back in high school.
"Well would you look at that, I got you laughing and smiling. That's a complete one eighty from this morning. What was on your mind this morning that had you in such a bad mood?"
I started to get annoyed and started playfully pouting. "I wasn't in a bad mood. Maybe it seemed like that because someone decided to walk in front of me on the track!" I turned away from him and stuck my tongue out at him; my feeble attempt to be a cute brat. I guess my sarcasm didn't go over well with him. He had a smile but his voice was serious.
"Ha-ha no seriously, your face wasn't a face of concentration, or of no worries. What's on your mind?" He looked me in the eyes when he said this. His gaze sank into my soul. His gaze melted me. So I just let go and ranted, very little truth, something I already got over, worries I used to feel.
"I- I just have no clue what I'm doing. I'm just going through the motions in my life. Being a doctor? Healing? Is that really my purpose in life or am I just doing it because it's noble? I am doing it for the money? I want to help people and I'm great at making people feel better. I just feel like I'm doing it just for me to feel better as a person. It's not my selfless nature; it's me being selfish. Is it okay for me to be this kind of person and be in this profession? No, this is the greatest sin to live the lie of living for others but only living for yourself. I struggle with this lie every time I walk into that hospital. It makes me so unhappy every day when I wake up. I don't know why I still do it. I'm such a bad person that lives so selfishly. I have nothing good in my life. The only thing I have is the love I have for my brother. I love my little brother more than I care for myself. He's the only thing I have left in this world that actually matters to me. Without him I wouldn't know what to do with myself. Without him I would have no direction. Is that really an ok way to live my life? I'm just so confused." I brought myself to tears by the end of it. I intended to keep up the lie but lie wasn't a lie but a previous truth that I haven't totally gotten over. Nick didn't say anything at all; he just got up and hugged me without saying a word. I cried even harder in his chest. I was all over the place. I was asking questions and answering them myself at the same time. I think he knew that I was no longer talking to him but I was thinking out loud all the thoughts I had in me for years. With him looking at me the way that he did just made me open up. To have another human embrace me as tightly as he did, made me bawl my eyes out. I felt another foreign hand pat my back and place it on my shoulder as I continued to cry in Nick's chest. I looked up and saw Death behind me with a strange smile and a look of jealously. How could a skeleton show emotions? "Excuse me, I have to go." I shot up and hurried out of the restaurant to my car. Leaving Nick in a state of confusion.
The entity I identified as death was no longer behind me. I climbed in the car, wiping my face of tears and drove off. I was freaking out, I'm starting to see the Grim Reaper in my every day life. I was speeding through Sunny Isles up into Aventura trying to get home, trying to settle my mind. As a medical professional, it wasn't normal to be seeing these things. Then again, my life wasn't normal. For god sakes I glow violet whenever I want to enhance myself. What is my life and why are these things happening to me. I speed faster thru traffic trying to get home, praying that no cops are around to pull me over. My anxiety was blaring horns inside my mind as I started to panic. However, before it became too much I pulled up to my driveway where me and my brother had bought a modest house. I started to breathe again, the air filling my lungs started to bring my racing heart back to normal. I brought my head to the steering wheel to finally relax.
"What am I doing, What is wrong with me?"
"I honestly don't think anything is wrong with you, you had a perfectly normal reaction." I tore around me trying to find the source of the voice but no one was there. I heard voices before but never this clear and this well communicated. No one was in the car with me, I started panicking again and hyperventilating. These were the signs of schizophrenia, my life was about to get a lot tougher if I was going to be dealing with this on top of everything. I was gasping for air as the realization of this started to flood my mind causing my body to clench up. "Calm down! You don't have schizophrenia!" Looking around and still no one present. Yea right like I would believe voices in my head. I started to choke on my tongue, my throat and nose felt swollen shut. No air would enter my lungs. "Fine, I'll calm you down myself." My throat and nose opened up immediately and I gasped for fresh air. Slowly but surely I calmed down and my breathing was even again. "The last thing I would want is for you to die, but I'm guessing you're not ready for the conversation we need to have. You're special to me so I'll try again another time." The smooth and deep voice lingered in the air as he spoke. It was soothing, innocent, and had much care in it. Once he had finished speaking I found myself missing it when it stopped. I found my composure and finally went over the symptoms of schizophrenia: thoughts or experiences that are out of touch with reality, disorganized speech or behavior, decreased participation in daily behavior, and difficulty with concentration. Only one of the symptoms was present with me. If that was enough our powers would automatically give us that diagnosis. Those were real, no doubt about it. However, as far as I know Ty doesn't deal with these voices. Thinking logically the only conclusion I had was to treat everything as real, be calm and analyze everything around me if I ever heard his voice again. I was already curious about this but I need to look into further what we were. This wasn't normal but obviously we were different. I looked at the brown skin on my hand. I should look into our blood and study our genetics and biology. Maybe I could find the answers I seek that way. One thing is for sure and I smiled. He was one thing that didn't intend to go anywhere anytime soon.