It was a normal morning in the Smith household, normal by Rick's standards, which meant mild interdimensional hangover, moderate familial dysfunction, and Jerry asking for something dumb.
"Hey, Richard," Jerry said, peeking his head into the lab like a lost substitute teacher. "I was thinking... maybe you could build me an automatic golf stick? You know, one that helps me wipe that smug grin off Morgan's face? That guy cheats with an AI putter—I know it!"
Richard, hunched over a half-disassembled plasma core, didn't even look up. "No."
Jerry blinked. "Wait... you didn't even hear me out, "
"I heard everything," Richard cut in, adjusting a lens over his right eye. "Your solution to your mediocrity is technology. That's not innovation, Jerry. That's desperation with a battery pack."
"Come on! Even a Meeseeks box would—"
"Would end with you ruining your marriage and your joints," Richard snapped, standing up. "Just accept that you're a poorly designed biological creature whose only skill is making everyone around him dumber by osmosis."
Before Jerry could reply, the garage door slid open with a hiss. Rick swaggered in, tossing a small black orb in the air and catching it like it owed him money. "Alright, Richie Rich. Classic duo adventure. Let's go melt some space Nazis or fight God or something."
Jerry frowned. "Wait, wait, hold on! Rick already took Morty last week, and today's supposed to be our father-son day! You promised, Richard!"
Richard froze. A rare flicker of guilt passed through his face like a glitch. "Shit," he muttered. "That's right. You asked me… months ago."
He sighed, removed his gloves, and walked past Rick to the coat hanger, grabbing a sleek black coat with glowing trim. "Change of plans. Rick, rain check. Jerry and I got some trauma bonding to do."
Rick looked like someone had told him Beth majored in jazz studies. "The hell do you mean? You're ditching me for Jerry?"
"I made a promise," Richard said, slipping on his coat. "And believe it or not, I keep those. Even if it kills me."
Ten minutes later, they were both plummeting through an alien ocean's atmosphere in a pod shaped like a metal avocado. "Are we... are we gonna die?" Jerry squeaked as a massive shadow passed under the craft.
"Statistically, yes," Richard said. "But let's aim for no."
The pod splashed down with bone-rattling force. Before they could gather their bearings, an enormous squid-like creature rose from the depths, its tendrils glowing with bioelectric pulses. "Oh my god! It's, it's beautiful!" Jerry gasped.
"That's the Kraken-420," Richard muttered, already flicking buttons on his gauntlet. "Rare as hell. Heart contains an enzyme that can cure all types of cancer… if it doesn't eat you first."
"You're not gonna kill it, right?" Jerry asked, horrified. "I read it's on the endangered list!"
"It's also on the apex predator list, Jerry," Richard growled, just as a tentacle shot out and snatched him into the air.
"Richard!" Jerry shouted.
Richard struggled against the suction. "Hit it with the plasma cannon! Center mass!"
"I—I can't! What if it dies?!"
"That's the point, you moron!" Richard shouted, writhing as he activated the slip mode on his belt. His body shimmered, beginning to dematerialize from the squid's grip.
Just when he was about to break free, Jerry picked up a rock, yes, a rock, and threw it at the Kraken's face.
The Kraken paused. Then turned its entire attention to Jerry. "Uhh…" Jerry squeaked.
What followed was three seconds of silence. Then hell broke loose. The Kraken slammed Jerry into a coral-covered rock, then another, hurled him into a forest of sea-trees that had no right existing. Richard, now free, watched the squid rear back to finish Jerry off. But just as it lunged—BOOM! Its entire body exploded in a glorious spray of alien ink and fire.
Richard stood a dozen meters away, behind a smoking tree stump, breathing heavily. "Explosive clone," he muttered, wincing. "Saved my life again."
Jerry stumbled up, covered in slime and bruises. "Richard! Are you okay?"
"I was," Richard muttered.
"You endangered a rare animal!" Jerry shouted. "The Kraken is on the intergalactic endangered list! It was even featured on a YouTuber's channel—GigaNatureX! He said it was his favorite beast! That thing was practically a sea unicorn!"
Richard blinked. "...GigaNatureX? Isn't that the guy who gave a positive review to cannibalistic jellyfish?"
"He was touched, Richard! Touched by nature!" Jerry raged, hands flailing.
Richard stared at him blankly. "Touched by something, alright."
He turned away, mind spinning. Is he... truly this dumb? Or is there something more? Some skill, some worth. He mentally replayed every time Jerry had accidentally saved the day, heroic blunders, dumb-luck escapes, and one time he distracted a planetary AI by arguing about printer settings. Richard shivered. "God gifted me intelligence… but what if Jerry is their cosmic joke? Or worse... their cosmic balance?"
A cold sweat formed on his back. "Come on, Jerry," he said finally, walking toward the pod. "Let's go home before your stupidity triggers an extinction-level event."
Jerry beamed, limping behind. "Aww, you do care."
Richard muttered under his breath, "Only because the last thing the multiverse needs… is you becoming its chosen one."
AN: Since we are in our second volume, I would love it if some of you drop a review to promote the book more. Also send some power stones to show your love to Richard. That's it Thank you.