The subway was nearly empty when Shinji and Mana boarded. The white lights flickered faintly, reflecting off the tracks, wet from the light rain falling over Tokyo-3. Asuka and I followed close behind, trying to keep a safe distance. Asuka wore a cap and sunglasses, her makeshift disguise, while I, more discreet, pretended to read a folded newspaper, though my eyes were trained on the couple sitting a few seats ahead.
The train began to move, and the rhythmic sound of the tracks filled the silence between them. I took a deep breath, trying to dispel the heaviness I still felt on my lips, the echo of Asuka's kiss from earlier. I didn't want to think about it now, didn't want to lose focus. Concentration. It's just a mission, I repeated mentally.
Shinji seemed relaxed, chuckling softly at something Mana said. She spoke with subtle gestures, but there was a tension there, something I sensed in her eyes. It wasn't the look of someone in love, but of someone hiding a purpose. Still, I wanted to believe I was wrong, that that girl truly cared about Shinji.
"You're getting soft, Subaru..." Asuka murmured beside me, crossing her arms. "Do you feel sorry for her?"
"It's not that..." I replied, keeping my eyes on Mana. "I just think sometimes people have reasons we don't understand."
Asuka arched an eyebrow but didn't answer. The train rounded a bend, and I took advantage of the sway to move a little closer to the window, observing the girl's reflection in the glass.
Deep down, I knew something was wrong with that story. But part of me—the same part that still tasted Asuka's kiss and the confusion it had left—wanted to believe that not everything was manipulation, that there was still sincerity amidst so many lies.
As the train began to slow at the next station, I shifted in my seat and murmured, "Whatever it is... I hope I'm wrong about her."
The next day...
The wind blew coldly along the lakeshore, kicking up small waves that lapped against the cracked concrete. Asuka and I stepped out of the NERV truck, each wearing our field uniforms, the red emblem gleaming under the gray sky. The air was heavy, the smell of burnt metal and damp earth mingled with something else, something ancient, almost... dead.
We walked through the wreckage in Eva-02, where twisted cables and steel plates lay scattered like the bones of a colossal creature. I listened intently as the scanner emitted small beeps with each sweep.
"No A.T. field residue..." I muttered, frowning. "But this is definitely not NERV."
Asuka kicked at a broken piece. "What if it's some prototype from another base? Maybe some branch trying to copy the EVAs."
"If that were the case, Ritsuko would have already spoken..." I replied, bending down to clean one of the metal plates with my gloved hand. It was then that we saw engraved in dark blue, partially covered in soot and mud, the symbol of a stylized three-pointed spear. Below, corroded and scratched letters formed what appeared to be:
T.RIDEN.T.
We ran our robotic thumbs over the logo, revealing part of the full name—T.RIDEN.T PROJECT.
"Trident...?" I repeated quietly. "I've never heard of anything with that name."
Asuka approached, looking over his shoulder. "That doesn't sound good to me... I bet it doesn't even work."
I peered inside the structure. The cabin was destroyed, but something inside still flickered blue, a pulsing glow as if... the robot were still alive.
A metallic sound echoed behind them, and they both turned quickly. The "robot" reacted with a small spasm, and the lights in its eyes lit up brightly, emitting a low hum that reverberated throughout the field.
"Subaru..." Asuka took a step back, placing her hand on the communicator. "This wasn't supposed to happen, was it?"
I swallowed, keeping my eyes fixed on the machine, which was now slowly moving its head, its sensors focusing directly on us.
"No way..." I replied, feeling a chill run down my spine. "This wasn't supposed to happen."
The blue glow intensified, illuminating the surrounding ruins, and what sounded like an electronic voice began to emit incomprehensible sounds, as if trying to communicate.
A few hours later...
The news arrived late in the afternoon, as the sky began to turn orange and the shadows of NERV lengthened along the corridors. Asuka, Shinji, and I were finishing our report on the robot when an urgent message appeared on our cell phones.
> [PRIORITY NOTIFICATION — MEDICAL SECTOR 3]
An unknown pilot was found unconscious near the lake's perimeter. Stable condition. Identity: unknown.
Asuka was the first to stand, resting her hands on the table. "A pilot? So that robot wasn't empty!" she said, her eyes shining with curiosity. "We have to take a closer look."
Shinji looked at her hesitantly. "I don't know if we should... Ritsuko might not like us getting mixed up in this."
"Oh, shut up, Shinji!" Asuka snapped, crossing her arms. "If it's someone connected to that Trident, this could be important to all of us."
I was silent for a moment, deep in thought. The memory of the "T.RIDEN.T." logo and the blue light still burned in his mind. "I agree with her..." he finally said. "If there's a pilot involved, we need to understand what happened before they order everything wiped from the system."
Shinji sighed. "Okay, but if anyone asks, it was Asuka's idea."
"As always!" she replied with a victorious half-smile, already walking toward the elevator.
The walk to the medical bay was silent, only the sound of footsteps echoing through the steel corridors. The air there was cooler, and the smell of disinfectant mixed with ozone gave a sterile, uncomfortable feeling.
The corridors of the hospital near NERV were silent, lit by white lamps that seemed colder than usual. Asuka, Shinji, and I walked with measured steps, trying not to attract the attention of the few staff members who passed by. The sound of shoes on the smooth floor echoed in short intervals, and Subaru's heart beat faster with each turn.
"Careful..." Asuka whispered, tugging on his arm as a nurse passed by with a clipboard. "If they catch us here, Misato will have our skin ripped off."
"Yeah, but you're the one who wanted to come, remember?" I replied, trying to keep my voice low.
Shinji, who was right behind, seemed more nervous. "I still think we should have asked permission..."
"Shut up, Shinji." Asuka retorted immediately, without even looking back. "We'll just watch; no one will even notice."
We descended a narrow flight of stairs that led to a side corridor until we reached a small technical observation area, from which we could see the lower floor through a large, reinforced glass window. Down below, in the center of the isolated medical bay, sat a single gurney surrounded by machines.
"Over there…" I murmured, pointing discreetly.
The boy on the gurney lay motionless, covered to the chest by a white sheet. His shaved head highlighted the shape of his skull, and wires were connected to his temples and chest, monitoring his every heartbeat. His skin was pale, almost grayish, and his expression was too serene for someone in a coma.
Asuka leaned against the glass, trying to get a better look. "He looks… strange."
Shinji swallowed. "Could he have come with that robot you found?"
I remained silent, carefully observing the boy's facial features. There was something there, something familiar yet distant, as if I recognized him from a dream I'd already forgotten. The sound of machines filled the silence, each beep matching the stranger's slow breathing.
"He must have been through something serious…" I said almost in a whisper.
Asuka crossed her arms. "If he's a new pilot, then he'll have to prove himself worthy of this position."
I looked away, still staring at the reflection in the glass. "Maybe he doesn't even know what it's like to be a pilot."
Suddenly, a shadow passed behind us, a NERV employee. The three of us instinctively ducked, holding our breath until the man moved away.
"Let's get out of here before they find out!" I said softly.
Asuka huffed, but nodded. "Okay, but I still want to know who this kid is."
We walked away slowly, the sound of footsteps mingling with the distant hum of machines and the cold glow of the hospital lights. I glanced over my shoulder one last time. The boy remained motionless, as if asleep, but for a moment… I felt his fingers move slightly.
So the three of us left the observation wing and returned to the hallway, the silence of the hospital broken by a firm, hurried voice.
"What are you doing here?" Mana Kirishima asked, appearing on the other side of the hallway with a serious expression.
Asuka immediately crossed her arms, giving me a sharp look. "Look who showed up... just in time, spy."
"W-w... what?" Shinji stammered, turning in surprise.
I just sighed, already anticipating this wouldn't end well.
Asuka took a step forward, her eyes flashing. "Don't play dumb, Mana. We saw that robot, the "T.RIDEN.T," and now a bald kid collapsed in the hospital, and you show up here out of nowhere to defend him. Do you think we're stupid?"
Mana clenched her fists, trying to remain calm. "You're misunderstanding. He's not an enemy."
"Oh, of course..." Asuka countered, laughing wryly. "And I'm the Princess of Germany."
"I'm serious!" Mana said, her voice trembling but sincere. "That kid is my friend... he's a test pilot. The TRIDENT is not a weapon against NERV."
Shinji looked confused between the two of them, while I watched Mana silently, trying to read her reactions. She looked nervous, yes, but there was no fear, only genuine concern.
"So explain it to us, Mana..." I said calmly. "Why hide this from us all this time?"
Mana looked away for a moment, her shoulders tense. "Because... I couldn't. It was a classified mission. But he... Yamada... he was injured when the T.RIDEN.T crashed. I just wanted to know if he was alive."
Asuka scoffed, tilting her head. "Oh, how touching. The spy finally confesses." She gave a sarcastic chuckle. "I bet NERV will love to hear that story."
Mana stepped forward, her gaze steady now. "Call me whatever you want, Asuka. But I'm not your enemy."
For a moment, the hallway was silent. The distant sound of the heart monitors seemed to echo between the white walls.
I sighed softly, running my hand through my hair. "Whatever it is... this isn't student business anymore. NERV needs to know about this."
"I agree..." Asuka said, lifting her chin. "And I'll tell Misato myself."
Mana looked at me, distressed. "Subaru, please... believe me."
I hesitated for a moment, my gaze torn between Asuka's coldness and Mana's sincerity. "I want to..." I finally replied. "But now... it will depend on what NERV finds out."
Asuka just huffed and turned away, leaving the hallway. Shinji followed behind, head down. Mana remained standing, watching me, her gaze filled with guilt.
I noticed the tense atmosphere between Shinji and Mana, the silent tension that hung in the air as if unspoken words weighed on them both. I exchanged a quick glance with Asuka, who was about to make another provocative comment, and simply grabbed her hand.
"Let's give them some time..." I said calmly, pulling her out of the hallway before she could protest.
Asuka looked back, huffing, but eventually followed him. They remained outside, where the distant sound of footsteps and the hum of medical equipment echoed through the hallways.
Inside the ward, only Shinji and Mana remained. She kept her eyes downcast, her hands trembling as she clutched the fabric of her skirt.
"So..." Shinji began, his voice hesitant, trying to understand what he was feeling. "All this... your story, T.RIDEN.T, this boy... Us... Was this real or just an act?"
Mana looked up, her eyes welling. "It's real, Shinji. Everything I told you was true. I... I didn't lie to you."
Shinji was silent for a few seconds. He wanted to believe her, wanted her words to be pure, but distrust and fear still throbbed in his mind.
"If it's real..." he finally said, "then you need to get out of here now."
Mana took a step forward, surprised. "What...?"
"NERV will investigate you..." he continued, more firmly. "They'll treat you as a threat, even if you're not. If you stay, they'll use you... or worse."
She looked at him with teary eyes, her lip trembling. "And you?"
Shinji looked away, trying to hide his pain. "I... I can't go with you. But I want to believe you're telling the truth."
Mana held his hand, her cold fingers trembling in his. "Thank you, Shinji. For believing in me a little."
He returned the squeeze, saying nothing. He just stood there, staring at her for a moment, recording that moment in silence. Then Mana released his hand and ran down the hallway, disappearing behind the automatic doors before the NERV agents could arrive.
The next day...
The sky was covered in heavy clouds, reflecting on the still waters of Lake Ashinoko. The humidity was high, and the wind brought a damp chill that penetrated even the technicians' uniforms.
It was Rei's turn to pilot her Eva for a synchronization test near the lake. I was assigned as a special observer, so I had to accompany her inside the Entry Plug. However, there was a small problem: Eva-00's piloting system only had one seat.
Rei showed no reaction to this. She just stared at me, motionless, and said with the same impassive calm as always, "Then, sit behind me."
I hesitated a little awkwardly. "Behind? But... there's no room for that."
"Then sit with me..." she replied simply.
And so it was. I carefully settled myself in the seat, and Rei sat on my lap, the two of us trapped inside the translucent capsule that quickly filled with LCL liquid. The sensation was strangely intimate, but Rei seemed completely indifferent, focused only on the commands ahead.
Misato's voice echoed through the communicator: "Unit 00, is everything okay in there?"
I coughed discreetly. "E-everything is under control..."
"Synchronization is stable," Rei added, without changing her tone.
The Eva began to move slowly, the lake water trembling around it as sensors scanned the area. Silence reigned inside the Entry Plug, except for the mechanical sound of the controls and the calm rhythm of our breathing.
No suspicious movement. No echoes of enemy energy. Nothing but the sound of wind and water.
I glanced at the viewfinder, then at Rei's reflection before me, his face serene, his gaze distant, almost empty. "You don't really get nervous about any of this, do you?" I asked in surprise.
"There's no reason to be nervous..." she replied, with the same soft, neutral voice. "We're just fulfilling a function."
I smiled lightly, despite the situation. "You say that like you're a machine."
Rei blinked once, emotionless. "But I'm not."
Silence once again filled the space. Outside, the sun was beginning to break through the clouds, reflecting on the calm, impenetrable lake. No enemies appeared. The test ended without incident, but the image of that scene of the seat, enveloped in golden liquid light, would remain in his memory for a long time.
The silence inside the Entry Plug was almost absolute, broken only by the faint sound of the valves and the LCL bubbling. I tried to stay focused on the monitors, but the cramped environment made it difficult. Rei remained motionless, staring straight ahead, oblivious to the proximity between us.
Suddenly, I noticed something, a soft, almost sweet smell, that completely contrasted with the metallic odor of the LCL. It was light, but unmistakable... and it came from her.
Without realizing it, I took a deep breath, and soon realized what I was doing.
My face instantly flushed.
"No... this is not the time to think about that..." I thought, looking away from anything other than her blue hair, which lightly brushed my chin.
Even though he tried to hide it, his heart was racing. Rei noticed the slightest movement, perhaps the breathing, perhaps the tense body, and asked, without turning his face: "Is everything okay?"
"Huh? N-no, nothing like that..." he replied quickly. "I just... concentrated too much, I guess."
She just nodded, returning to silence. Time seemed to drag by in there, and every second increased the strange tension between us.
When the test ended and the Eva was turned off, the plug began to drain. The orange light dimmed until the interior was enveloped in calm gloom. It was then that perhaps I was led by impulse or curiosity, he said: "Rei..."
"Yes?"
I hesitated for a moment, looking at the faint reflection of her face in the dashboard. "Do you want to... come over to the house today?"
Rei turned her head slightly, expressionless, just curious. "The reason?"
"No one in particular..." I replied awkwardly. "I just... thought we could talk a little outside of NERV."
Rei looked at me for a few seconds. Her gaze was difficult to read, neither refusal nor acceptance. Just that enigmatic air, too calm.
"If it is Commander Ikari's order, I will go."
"N-not an order!" I said almost laughing, nervous. "It's just an invitation."
She blinked once. "I see. So... maybe I will."
My heart skipped a beat.
"Perhaps."
But coming from Rei Ayanami, that was almost a yes.
As the Eva returned to base, I looked out the side hatch, watching the moon's reflection on the calm surface of the lake. The fog crept along the banks and, on the other side, between the trees, something caught my attention, an old house, partially hidden by vegetation. The broken windows reflected the pale light, and a strange sensation ran down his spine.
For a moment, I thought about talking to Rei, but decided against it.
"It must just be an abandoned building..." he thought, trying to shake off the uncomfortable feeling.
Silence once again dominated the Entry Plug. The gentle sound of the LCL bubbling and the faint hum of the systems filled the air. Subaru, trying to break the mood, slightly turned his face towards Rei, who was still on his lap, impassive as always.
"Hey, Ayanami..." he began, with a discreet smile. "How's your apartment?"
She glanced at the panel in front of her thoughtfully, before responding in a calm tone, "It's... fixed."
I raised an eyebrow, curious. "Fixed? That's good... It's because—"
Rei replied without hesitation, still looking ahead: "For you."
My heart stopped for a moment. "F-for me?"
She nodded slightly, as if it was something completely normal. "You said you might come visit me. I thought it appropriate to get everything in order."
I didn't know what to say. I remained silent for a few seconds, just staring at the reflection of the moon that came through the gaps in the cockpit. "You really... took this seriously, right?"
"I don't usually say I'll do something and not do it..." she replied, calmly, without irony.
He let out a nervous laugh, trying to hide the heat on his face. "Okay... then I guess I'll really need to show up there."
Rei just responded with a soft "hm", and returned to observing the horizon.
But the mansion on the other side of the lake still wouldn't leave my mind.
There was something about him that bothered me deeply, a feeling that that place held something that I shouldn't ignore.
The hallway was silent, only the sound of my footsteps and Rei's echoing under the yellow lights of the building. The day had been long, and the evening brought that kind of calm that made everything seem more intimate. As we both approached the elevator, I glanced discreetly to the side. Rei was walking beside me, serene as always, but there was something different about her, something lighter.
Without thinking much, I extended my hand.
Rei paused for a brief moment, looked at my hand, and after a brief silence, intertwined her fingers with mine.
The simple gesture made me smile. "Heh... looks like you're getting used to this, Ayanami."
She looked straight ahead, her face impassive, but her cheeks slightly flushed. "I'm just... trying it out."
The elevator arrived, the doors opened with a metallic clang, and we stepped inside. I still held her hand, unwilling to let go. Inside the elevator, the space felt smaller than usual, perhaps it was the silence between us, or the way my heart was beating so fast.
Suddenly, Rei let go of my hand and pulled a small notebook from her coat pocket.
She opened it halfway, took out a pencil, and began writing, the sound of graphite on paper the only sound inside.
I looked at it curiously. "What's that?"
"A journal," she replied calmly, still writing.
"A journal? Like... a diary?"
"Something like that..." she said, finally looking up at me. "I'm writing down what I felt when I held your hand."
I blinked in surprise, then let out a small, awkward laugh. "You... are you writing down what you felt? You really went into this head first."
"Yes." She tilted her head slightly. "It's important for me to understand what... 'closeness' is."
I scratched the back of my neck, a little embarrassed. "So... what did you write?"
Rei looked at the notebook, read it quietly, and replied calmly, "It feels... warm. Strange. But not bad."
I chuckled softly, feeling my face heat up. "Warm and strange, huh?" I think that pretty much sums up how I feel, too.
The elevator doors opened, and we stepped out side by side. Rei tucked the notebook into her pocket, and before leaving, she looked at me one last time.
"Subaru..." she said, her tone still neutral, but her blue eyes reflecting something new. "I'd like to continue... recording these feelings with you."
I gave a slight smile, scratching the back of my neck again. "Write it down, Ayanami... I think I want that too."
Rei opened the small notebook again as the two of them walked down the hallway toward the apartment. I still had my hands in my pockets, watching curiously. I was getting used to seeing her write down everything she felt, but I was still surprised by the precision and sincerity of her words.
She stopped suddenly, leaning slightly against the wall, and began writing again. I leaned closer and peered curiously.
"Writing something else about myself, Ayanami?" I asked half-heartedly. joking.
Rei replied without looking up: "Yes. I'm recording what I felt when we were at Entry Plug today."
Rei turned the notebook toward me and read quietly, as calmly as ever: "When I sat on his lap, I felt something different inside me... and also a slight twinge. It was a new sensation. I don't know what it means."
I froze, my face completely red. "U-Ah, that... yeah, that was..." I scratched the back of my neck, avoiding looking at her directly. "It was just a natural reaction, you know? Nothing to worry about!"
Rei watched him silently for a few seconds, analyzing his confused expression and the way he looked away. "Natural reaction?"
"Yeah... like... the body sometimes reacts on its own in certain situations," I replied quickly, trying to sound rational, but my voice cracked slightly at the end.
Rei seemed to ponder, as if saving every word for later study. "I see. So... does that mean I caused that reaction?"
I choked on my own air, coughing lightly. "N-Not quite! I mean... yes, but... not in a bad way!"
She calmly resumed her writing. "Cause natural reactions in Subaru. Observe later."
"A-Ayanami! Don't write like that!" I said, completely at a loss as she calmly put the notebook away.
Rei looked at him with that neutral, serene gaze, but there was a hint of genuine curiosity in her eyes. "I'm just learning about what happens when we're close."
I sighed, trying to hide my embarrassment. "Okay... just try not to write everything so... literally next time, okay?"
She studied him for a few seconds, then replied, "Understood. But... if I don't write it down, I might forget."
I just laughed lightly, running my hand through my hair. "Okay, go... just try not to show this notebook to anyone, please."
Rei gave a small nod. "It's safe with me."
And the two of us walked down the hallway, the mood between us wavering between awkwardness and something new.
As soon as Rei and I entered the apartment, the sound of the television and voices filled the room. Asuka was slumped on the couch, cross-legged, with a bored expression; Shinji and Mana were sitting on the floor, seemingly discussing some program that was on. As soon as they saw us entering together, still holding hands, Asuka raised an eyebrow, clearly surprised.
"Well, well… look who decided to come in together…" she teased, with a mischievous smile.
I discreetly released Rei's hand, coughing and trying to hide the blush on my face. "I-It's not what you think, Asuka."
Rei, as always, kept her expression calm. "We were just walking."
Asuka crossed her arms. "Of course, 'walking.' It must have been quite an educational walk, huh?"
Misato appeared in the kitchen at that moment, holding a bottle of beer and her apron a little askew. She smiled when she saw us both. "Ah, Subaru! I'm so glad you're here! Come here for a bit, I need some help with dinner."
I blinked in confusion. "Huh? Me?"
"Yes, you are," Misato replied, patting me on the shoulder and gently pushing me toward the kitchen. "You're the 'house chef' today."
Asuka chuckled amusedly. "Looks like someone's been promoted to NERV's official cook."
I glanced over my shoulder, somewhat resigned. "You guys could help too, you know?"
"I can't..." Asuka said, lifting the soda can. "I'm supervising."
Misato completely ignored my protest and handed me a pan. "Come on, Subaru, show us those cooking skills of yours. I tried to make curry, but..." she grimaced, pointing to the charred pan on the stove. "Let's just say it didn't look presentable."
"'Presentable' is an understatement..." Shinji commented with a nervous smile.
I sighed, grabbing my apron and tying it behind my back. "Okay, okay... but next time, you guys cut the vegetables."
As I began cooking, the delicious smell began to spread through the apartment. Rei stood silently near the door, watching him calmly prepare the ingredients, stirring the pan as if he were already used to it.
Misato, leaning against the counter, watched him with a half-smile. "You know, Subaru, you seem much more focused when you're cooking."
"That's because, unlike piloting an Eva, here I can choose the seasoning," I replied, half-joking.
Mana approached, curious. "Wow, that smells really good! Where did you learn that?"
"From the best in the house sitting right there next to you," I replied, stirring the wooden spoon. "Shinji was very patient..."
Asuka, feigning disinterest, peered into the pan. "Hmph, it doesn't look bad."
I glanced sideways and smiled slightly. "It doesn't. It's actually good."
That evening unfolded peacefully, with a cozy atmosphere, a rare thing amidst the constant battles and tensions at NERV. As dinner prepared, the sound of laughter and small teasing echoed through the room, and even though I was tired, I felt a strange comfort being there, surrounded by everyone.
Lying on the couch, he turned slowly, and I looked up at the dark ceiling. The digital clock on the table blinked faintly: 3:12 AM. I blinked a few times, trying to understand why I had woken up. There was no alarm, no noise from the street. Just the heavy silence that hung over the apartment.
I sat up slowly, rubbing my face with my hands. I could still smell the faint aroma of the curry from the night before, the same one I had prepared with such care. A small smile formed on my lips as I remembered everyone's expressions as they ate, especially Misato's, who insisted on two seconds.
"Thanks, Shinji..." he thought, resting his chin on his hand.
"If it weren't for you insisting I learn, I would never have managed to make anything decent. That guy really has the patience to teach, even when I mess up."
At dusk...
I looked out the living room window. Tokyo-3 was quiet, but there was something different in the air, a feeling of slight tension, as if the world were holding its breath.
I got up and went to the balcony. The early morning breeze was cool but refreshing. The city glowed in the distance, shrouded in a light mist. I rested my hands on the railing and watched for a moment the empty streets, the flickering lights of a few streetlights, the absolute silence.
For a moment, I had the feeling I was being watched. A shiver ran down my spine. I turned my head, but saw nothing, only the reflection of myself in the glass.
"...I'm getting paranoid," I muttered under my breath.
Even so, something in the back of my mind insisted: "I woke up for a reason."
Trying to ignore the discomfort, I went back inside, but before lying down again, I glanced at Misato's room; the light under the door was on.
He considered knocking, but decided against it. "She must be working on reports or having another drink."
I lay down again, staring at the ceiling, and closed my eyes.
But sleep wouldn't come.
And somewhere in the distance, far beyond the reach of his perception, a faint hum echoed... something moving in the shadows of Tokyo-3.
I slowly opened my eyes when I heard the soft creak of the door. The dimness of the room was broken by a silhouette standing in the doorway; it was Shinji, his pajamas wrinkled and his eyes hesitant.
"...Shinji?" I murmured, sitting up and rubbing my eyes. "Man, you scared me. What time is it?"
Shinji looked at the floor before answering, his voice low and wavering: "I... couldn't sleep. I need to talk to you... about Mana."
I leaned against the wall, still half-asleep, but gestured for him to come in. Shinji closed the door slowly and sat on the edge of the bed, his hands clasped together. The early morning air seemed even heavier inside the room.
"I don't know what to think of her, Subaru," Shinji began, his voice cracking. "Part of me believes what she said, that everything that happened was real, but… another part…" he sighed, looking at the ground, "another part thinks she just used me."
I watched silently, my gaze intent. The boy in front of him looked exhausted, not only physically, but emotionally as well.
"I know how it is," he said finally, his tone calm. "When you want to believe in someone, but the whole world gives you reason to doubt."
Shinji looked up, surprised. Subaru continued: "You saw the way she acted, right? That didn't seem like a lie. She risked herself for you, Shinji. I don't think anyone would do that pretending."
The Eva-01 pilot clasped his hands tightly. "But what if she's in danger now? Or worse… what if she really is a spy and I'm wrong?"
I sighed, getting up and going to the window. The lights of Tokyo-3 flickered in the distance, dim in the drizzle. "I can't be sure of anything right now," I replied. "But if you want to know what I think… you should believe her until the end. Even if it hurts later."
Shinji was silent for a few seconds, thinking about those words. "You always say these things as if you've been through it."
I chuckled lightly, but without joy. "Maybe I have."
Silence fell back into the room. Only the distant sound of rain filled the air. Then Shinji stood up, his expression calmer. "Thank you, Subaru. I think I needed to hear that."
"Are you going to try to get some sleep?" Subaru asked.
Shinji nodded. "I'll try…"
He walked to the door, but before leaving, he glanced over his shoulder. "Mana once said you're the kind of person who always tries to understand others. I think she was right."
I was quiet for a moment, then smiled slightly. "And she understands you much more than you think."
Across the room, Misato's voice was loud but firm, with that tone she used when speaking to someone at NERV.
"Yes… I understand…" she said into the phone. "But are you sure about this? Mana Kirishima?"
I held my breath. The name rang loud enough to dispel any trace of sleep. I pulled away and sat up, alert.
"Is that what the reports indicated?" Misato continued. "I see… No, she's under medical supervision. She hasn't woken up yet. If she really is a spy, NERV will deal with it."
My heart sank. "Did she get caught?" I thought. The memory of Shinji and Mana together at the lake, the way she smiled… it all flashed through my mind.
Misato hung up the phone with a heavy sigh. She stood still for a moment, staring at the floor, before muttering to herself, "Damn it… Shinji can't know this now."
I got up silently, walking to the bedroom door. Before I could touch the handle, I heard another sound, the soft creak of the door opening from the inside.
Shinji stood there, his expression weary, his eyes half-closed. "You heard it too…?" he asked quietly.
I just nodded. The tension in the air was almost palpable. Shinji looked pale. "So it's true…? Mana… was caught?"
I closed the door behind me and gestured for him to keep his voice down. "We don't know everything yet," he replied calmly. "Misato said she's unconscious… NERV might be mistaken."
Shinji trembled slightly, his hands clenched into fists. "But… what if it's true? What if everything she told me… was a lie?"
I took a deep breath, trying to contain my own discomfort. The memory of Misato's cold voice echoed in my head. "Let's not jump to conclusions yet," I said firmly. "You want answers? Then let's find out the truth."
Shinji looked him in the eye, searching for some kind of certainty he himself lacked. "Do you think she… that she really was a spy, Subaru?"
I looked away for a moment, staring at the window covered in the light rain. "…No," I finally replied. "I don't believe that."
The silence that followed was heavy, full of uncertainty.
Outside, the distant sound of NERV sirens rang out once more, and I sensed something bigger was about to happen.
Dawn arrived heavily. The sun had barely broken through the gray clouds when the sound of Misato's phone echoed through the house again, an official notification from NERV.
At the breakfast table, the atmosphere was silent. Asuka stirred her coffee without actually drinking it, Rei stared intently at the cup in front of her, and Shinji seemed completely distant. I just watched, already knowing what everyone was about to hear.
Misato emerged from the kitchen, her eyes weary and her posture stiffer than usual. "We've received confirmation," she said bluntly. "Mana Kirishima is being detained by NERV Central. Internal espionage is suspected."
The silence was total. Asuka was the first to react, arching an eyebrow. "Hah? That sweet, shy girl, a spy? That's ridiculous."
Misato didn't respond. Her tone indicated the situation was too serious for speculation. "NERV is treating this confidentially. You are not to discuss it with anyone. Understood?"
Rei just nodded. Shinji kept his gaze downcast, saying nothing. I felt his tension, as if he were trying to contain an internal meltdown.
To break the mood, Misato took a deep breath and tried to follow protocol. "As for today… Asuka, Shinji, and Rei, you have a synchronization test at nine. Subaru, you're cleared, you haven't been assigned to pilot yet, so you'll be out of the loop."
"Okay…" I replied neutrally.
Shinji stood up slowly, adjusting his test uniform. He seemed to be on autopilot. Asuka glanced sideways, noticing his demeanor. "Hey, are you really fit to pilot?" she asked, her tone a little less provocative than usual.
Shinji forced a weak smile. "I need to be."
Watching the scene, my chest tight. I knew Shinji wasn't well, and yet, I was going to get into that loop as if nothing had happened.
Before they left, Rei paused in front of me for a moment. "Subaru-kun…" she said calmly. "Aren't you going with us?"
"Not this time," I replied, trying to hide my concern. "I'll just watch from the sidelines."
She gave a slight nod, as if she understood, and followed the others.
When the door closed and the apartment fell silent, I leaned against the wall and let out a long sigh.
"Mana… what really happened to you?"
That doubt hammered at my mind, and instinctively, I knew I couldn't stay still.
Even though it wasn't part of the test, I decided: I would go to NERV's control room.
Something inside me told me that this day would be important.
I walked through NERV's metal corridors, the white lights reflecting off the impeccably clean floor. Despite the apparent calm, I felt an unease in the air; something wasn't right.
If Mana really was being held, it would be there, in some underground area, away from everyone's eyes. NERV knew how to hide secrets better than any government in the world.
But before I tried anything, I decided to talk to someone who might be able to give me a clue.
Arriving at the main laboratory, the sound of computers and machines echoed like a constant hum. The chemical smell of ozone and metal was strong. Ritsuko Akagi was in front of a screen, typing without looking at me.
"Doctor Ritsuko," I called out to her.
She didn't look away. "What's wrong, Subaru-kun? Shouldn't you be in your quarters?"
"I heard there's a synchronization test today," I said, trying to sound casual. "I wanted to better understand what this test is."
Ritsuko stopped typing and turned, crossing her arms. Her analytical gaze weighed on me. "Curious, isn't it? Even without being assigned, you want to know the technical details."
I kept my tone firm. "I just want to understand what they're doing with them."
She sighed and replied, as if saying something that shouldn't be questioned: "Today will be a test of direct LCL simulation bodies. They will enter full immersion chambers without their plugsuits. The goal is to measure the level of synchronization with the Evas under pure conditions, without interference from conductive material."
My eyes widened slightly. "…Without any clothing?"
Ritsuko nodded, emotionless. "It's a technical procedure. The LCL serves as a neural and biological conductor. There's nothing 'strange' about it; it's pure science."
But I looked away uncomfortably. "Still… it seems a bit invasive."
"That's how we measure the link between the pilot and the Eva," Ritsuko said coldly, returning to her keyboard. "And for your information, Subaru-kun, you haven't been authorized for this type of test yet."
I swallowed, understanding the veiled warning. But there was still something in her voice, a small, almost imperceptible hesitation.
"Doctor…" I persisted. "What about Mana Kirishima? Is she really being held here?"
Ritsuko stopped typing. The sound of the machines seemed to cease for a moment.
She slowly turned to me, her gaze as cold as the glass separating them from the simulation tanks. "That information is none of your business, Subaru."
"Then she is...." I replied immediately.
Ritsuko sighed, as if irritated by his perspicacity. "Return to your post, Subaru-kun. The test will begin soon."
But I could tell by the way she looked away that he was right.
Mana was there.
And something about that synchronization test… didn't seem like just a scientific routine.
While the other pilots were busy with the synchronization test, I decided to take advantage of this "free" moment to wander the corridors of NERV.
The continuous white lights blinked softly, and the constant sound of the elevators, background alarms, and voices over the speakers created an almost hypnotic atmosphere. It was a maze of steel and concrete, and I still felt like a stranger inside, even after all this time.
I passed the technical section, where I saw some engineers discussing Eva data; their tired faces and eyes glued to their screens showed how much pressure everyone was under. Further on, I passed two nurses pushing an empty stretcher, whispering to each other. As I passed them, the girls only gave me curious or suspicious glances.
I kept my hands in my pockets, trying to appear calm, but my thoughts were elsewhere.
Sis… where could she be now?
That doubt gnawed at him. Knowing she was being held somewhere underground at NERV, perhaps being interrogated, perhaps unconscious, made him uneasy.
I walked to the lower floor, where the lights were dimmer and the silence was heavier. There were signs reading "Restricted Access – Biological Research Sector."
Subaru stopped in front of them. "'Biological,' huh…" I muttered, wondering if this was the sector where the experiments involving the LCL and the Evas were being conducted.
For a moment, he considered forcing his way in. But the memory of Ritsuko's gaze made him back away. There was no point in going into a place without authorization; it would only put more people at risk.
Continuing on, I found a room with observation windows. Inside, a few technicians were monitoring empty LCL tanks and hanging cables.
One of the men said something about "abnormal readings on Unit-00's test," which made me raise an eyebrow.
Rei…
I watched the monitors from afar, seeing only the blinking codes and the moving lines of graphs.
Even though it was quiet, something inside me told me something wasn't right that day. The air felt heavy, as if something was about to happen.
I kept walking, trying to calm myself, but the distant sound of sirens and the slight tremor under his feet made him pause for a moment. I looked around, my heart beating a little faster.
"…Don't tell me that again," I whispered.
Silence returned, but the feeling that something was very wrong remained.
I descended the iron stairs, hearing the metallic echo of his own footsteps echo through the cold corridors of NERV. With each floor he passed, the lighting seemed to grow dimmer, until, upon reaching the final flight, he came to a fork.
To the left, a sign read "Technical Sector – Containment Area." To the right, there was no signage. The corridor to the right seemed narrower and less used, the lights flickering irregularly and the air more humid.
"…Why isn't there anything written here?" he muttered, frowning.
Curiosity got the better of me. I followed the corridor to the right.
With each step, the sound of the air conditioning and the hum of the lights faded until they disappeared completely. I could smell rust and a faint breeze, a real breeze, coming from outside.
When I opened the heavy metal door at the end, I was greeted by a cold, damp breeze. I blinked a few times in surprise.
Before me stretched an external walkway, a suspended metal platform, protected only by railings, which gave a partial view of the NERV underground facilities. Below, the lake reflected a pale moonlight, and the base's structures blended into the rocks and tunnels carved into the mountain.
"So this is… the 'outside' part," I said, looking up at the artificial skyline of Tokyo-3, a mechanical ceiling that mimicked the night sky.
The cold air hit his face, but the sensation was short-lived.
A metallic clang, a scraping sound against the railings, echoed behind me.
I immediately turned, my heart racing. "Is anyone there?"
Nothing. Just the sound of wind cutting through metal.
I slowly approached the railing, trying to peer into the shadows below. It was impossible to make out any shape. However, a strange sensation gripped him: that of being watched.
I took a deep breath and muttered, "This isn't the time to imagine things…"
Distracted by the metallic immensity of NERV's exterior, with its high walkways, rusted handrails, and the distant hum of ventilation turbines, I failed to notice the presence approaching from behind.
A subtle sound of footsteps echoed on the metal. Before I could turn, a hand shoved me hard in the chest.
"Ah—?!"
Before I completely lost consciousness, I looked up and saw the figure.
A tall, white-haired, well-groomed man, wearing an impeccable white suit with gold accents. His smile was enigmatic, almost mocking, and the glint in his eyes conveyed the impression he knew exactly what he had just done.
"Ah… what a shame…" the man murmured with a tone of false compassion, placing a hand on his chest and bowing his head slightly. "I was hoping it would last a little longer."
The world spun. I stumbled, trying to hold on to the railing, but my fingers merely brushed against the cold steel. My body was thrown backward. The air seemed to drain from my lungs as I plummeted.
The wind whistled in my ears, the horizon spinning, the metal ceiling, the flashing red lights, and the dark abyss below. I reached out in desperation, but only found emptiness.
The impact was blunt. My body hit one of the lower platforms. I bounced sideways and rolled until I fell again, crashing through a broken grate. The last sound I heard was the distant echo of my own body hitting the ground, a wet, metallic crack.
Silence.
Then the pain faded.
The return by death had happened again.
End of Chapter 20