Chapter 109:
– Aqua –
…Back in the adventurer's guild.
Aqua folded her arms beneath her ample chest and glared at Kazuma, thoroughly irritated by the pitiful sight before her.
He was still sulking on the floor, wrapped pathetically in a damp blanket, hair plastered to his face, whining endlessly about how he'd let down his beloved goddess.
She scoffed quietly to herself, resisting the urge to kick him while he was down—although it was tempting.
"I just can't believe I disappointed my goddess," Kazuma moaned dramatically for the hundredth time, wiping his eyes as if tears might actually fall. "Why me? Why does everything good turn to shit?"
"Because you're a useless loser," Aqua shot back, rolling her eyes dramatically. "Honestly, Kazuma, get over yourself. You're not special enough to have your own goddess to disappoint. You already have me, a literal divine being, and you screw that up every day!"
"Shut up, Aqua!" Kazuma retorted, his voice cracking slightly. "You wouldn't understand my pain!"
The fuck she wouldn't! She had the ultimate life up in heaven, no worries, she could drink as much as she wanted and be her own boss! Now she's down here in this new world risking her divine perfect ass with these idiots!
…Ok, Darkness and Megumim were alright in her book, it was usually just Kazuma making everything difficult for her.
Megumin chuckled, lounging comfortably on a leaned back chair. "Kazuma, if you keep whining, you're going to make me start hoping someone freezes you again. Maybe next time I'll use Explosion on you anyway!"
Kazuma turned pale, quickly shaking his head in panic. "N-no thanks, Megumin. I prefer not getting blown into tiny bits…."
Darkness, seated quietly nearby, sighed wistfully, her cheeks flushed red. She clasped her hands together, eyes filled with longing. "Being trapped helplessly in ice, exposed and vulnerable in front of everyone… Ah, Kazuma, you're so lucky. Why does nobody humiliate me like that?"
Everyone in the guild paused and turned slowly to stare at Darkness. Aqua groaned loudly, shaking her head. And to think she was just giving compliments to these two girls in her head a few seconds ago…
"You're all freaks! Every last one of you. Clearly, I'm the only sane one here."
Kazuma snorted loudly. "Oh, please. You couldn't recognize sanity if it smacked you in the face. You're the goddess who got the two of us stuck in this shithole in the first place!"
"How dare you blame me?!" Aqua screeched, her face flushed bright pink with indignation. "You're the useless NEET who chose me as your gift! You picked me, idiot!"
Kazuma grit his teeth, pulling the wet blanket tighter around his shivering frame. "Well, clearly I made the wrong choice. I should have picked someone like the gorgeous Ranni as my wish! She'd never let me down."
Aqua bristled immediately, rage blazing in her eyes as jealousy clawed at her heart. Her hands clenched into fists, trembling slightly. "How dare you! That is not a real goddess! I've never even heard of a dumb name like Ranni!" she huffed. "I'm the only legitimate deity in this entire beginner's dump of a town!"
"Keep telling yourself that," Kazuma sneered, turning his head away dismissively. "She was elegant and powerful. You're just a drunk who spends all our earnings on cheap booze and throws up in alleyways."
Aqua's jaw dropped, sputtering indignantly. "That's totally slanderous and inaccurate! It wasn't cheap booze—it was expensive! And you're forgetting I heal you all the time, idiot! I'm generous and flawless!"
"Hmph!"
A few hours later…
Kazuma had gone to sleep in the smelly hay sulking to himself.
Aqua refused to admit it aloud—no way would she give that smug idiot Kazuma the satisfaction—but curiosity gnawed at her relentlessly, mingled with growing irritation.
Kazuma had spent the entire evening moaning pathetically about how he had somehow disappointed his "precious goddess," even after she, the magnificent Aqua, along with Megumin and Darkness, had heroically chipped him free from that ridiculous block of ice he'd been trapped in. They were even generous enough to buy him dinner to try and cheer him up!
Aqua couldn't even afford her favorite booze because of all that.
Getting the whiny moron to spit out anything coherent was practically torture. Every attempt Aqua made to interrogate him was met with Kazuma's stubborn pout, overly dramatic sighs, or downright evasive stupidity. It all seemed to revolve around that suspicious new restaurant in town that Kazuma couldn't shut the hell up about.
The nerve! Aqua fumed silently, how dare some tacky eatery and its fake goddess overshadow her flawless divine self?
She tiptoed stealthily out of their filthy barn—more accurately, the hovel that the cheapskate Kazuma had forced them into—moving with the elegant grace of an unrivaled ninja goddess, utterly confident in her perfection. She grimaced as she gingerly avoided the sticky stains of questionable substances littering the straw-covered floor, muttering to herself about Kazuma's nasty habits as she slipped out.
"I'll show that pretentious impostor," Aqua growled softly to herself, her eyes blazing with determination and righteous indignation. "There's only room for one stunning, flawless goddess in this pathetic beginner's town, and that's me!"
Yes, Aqua would expose this charlatan, dragging her down from her fake pedestal and making sure every adventurer in town knew exactly who the real deity was!
– Yasaka –
Yasaka stood gracefully behind the polished wooden bar counter at her son's restaurant, The Fox Hole. Behind her, her twelve fluffy golden tails swayed gently back and forth. Her elegant kimono clung tastefully to her mature, voluptuous figure.
Tonight, Yasaka had volunteered to run the bar after a particularly busy day, allowing her beloved son Haru a much-needed break. And because Yasaka wanted a bit of a break herself from hearing the Westerosi former Queen Cersei's whining.
Some days it seemed like Cersei was recovering well from years of her insanity, but the Queen still had bad days as well where she just threw tantrums.
Yasaka's first thought was that Cersei simply needed to get laid. But they were making every effort to keep her away from her brother, so that wasn't an option. Her brother was currently the unlucky guy ruling over what remained of King's Landing. This was after the citizens started leaving in large numbers, seeking better lands under the rule of the Starks and Yokai. His position wasn't exactly making things easier. Cersei had discovered that her brother was now the "king" and immediately demanded to be set free so that she could marry him—just like the Targaryens supposedly did. The Targaryens had ruled before Cersei's ex-husband, whom she had apparently murdered, ended up wiping out that disgusting family.
After a long day of cooking, Haru had been taken away by one of his energetic girlfriends, Naruko, along with Naruko's equally energetic and fiery-haired mother, Kushina.
Yes, both of them at once. No one knew how that was going to work out for him, but it would certainly be interesting once Yasaka inevitably finds out in the morning tomorrow.
As Haru had been led away, Yasaka distinctly caught sight of Ranni sitting stiffly at the bar, her beautiful, ethereal blue face betraying her obvious jealousy.
Yasaka had chosen not to tease the elegant lunar goddess. After all, it was obvious to anyone with eyes that Ranni was deeply, desperately in love with Yasaka's son Haru. Yasaka couldn't be happier for him.
Currently seated at the bar around Yasaka was a colorful and vibrant gathering of women, the most powerful group of women ever assembled as well, now that Yasaka thought about it.
And half of them were drunk…
Milim sat perched upon her bar stool, cheerfully swinging her feet beneath her, pink hair tied in twin tails that bounced with every movement. The petite demon lord drained her mug of ale in a single enthusiastic gulp, slamming the cup loudly onto the bar top. "More please, Yasaka!" Milim shouted gleefully, waving her empty mug like a flag. "I'm gonna keep drinking till I'm as big and sexy as you are!"
"That's sweet, Milim, but please pace yourself, dear. I don't want Haru scolding me because I got you drunk and you blew up a city or two..."
Milim pouted in response to that. "My future husband's not here, so let's party!"
Beside her, Eywa spoke softly, "Milim, your enthusiasm is delightful, but perhaps moderation has its merits?"
Amaterasu, who had finally emerged from her reclusive NEET sanctuary in Takamagahara, huffed irritably at Eywa's calm words. "Oh please, Eywa, let her enjoy herself. I've spent months shut away gaming and binge-eating sweets—believe me, moderation is vastly overrated." The sun goddess raised her sake cup lazily, tipping it toward Yasaka. "Fill me up too, Yasaka-san. Tonight I drink away all my stress!"
…What stress? She plays games all day and forces her poor children to handle most of her paperwork for her.
The Archangel Gabriel, pure and innocent-looking with golden curls framing her angelic face, sat nervously beside Amaterasu, fidgeting shyly with the hem of her pristine white robe. Her wings twitched anxiously behind her.
Gabriel's cheeks flushed adorably as she stared into her untouched cup of alcohol. "Oh dear, are we sure drinking like this is alright? I'm not really accustomed to such earthly pleasures… Is it ok? I'm supposed to be the archangel of love and justice…"
Serafall Leviathan giggled merrily. Her magical girl outfit was almost falling off her shoulders as she swayed back and forth so much. "C'mon, my eternal nemesis! We're here to let loose! Just one night of naughty fun won't hurt! Look at Yasaka—she's a gorgeous kitsune queen and she's practically drowning us in booze!"
"Now, now, Serafall. I'll admit I'm a bit liberal with drinks tonight, but please don't corrupt the archangel too badly." Yasaka chuckled softly at Serafall's teasing.
Serafall pouted cutely, leaning provocatively across the counter toward Yasaka, giving the kitsune a playful wink. "Aw, Yasaka-chan, I was hoping you'd join us for some extra-special girl bonding tonight."
"That will not be happening!" Gabriel declared flatly before hesitantly taking a sip of her cup. "Oh wow, I wasn't expecting that pleasant burn as it went down my throat..."
Yasaka smiled slyly at Serafall, raising an elegant eyebrow and leaning closer to the flirtatious devil. "Careful, Serafall, you might get more bonding than you can handle..."
She knew that Serafall Leviathan was known to talk a big game and had a very lewd show, but most of that was believed to be fake. After all, Serafall had never publicly had any male or female lovers so how experienced could she really even be.
The drunken blush on the Devil magical girl's face, proved Yasaka's point.
The wooden front door to Haru's restaurant suddenly flew open, kicked so hard it splintered and scattered bits of wood across the floor!
Yasaka's golden tails stopped swaying for a moment, showing her irritation. Her normally calm face turned serious as she looked up from the bar, annoyed by the disrespect toward her son's place.
Standing confidently in the doorway was a young woman with bright blue hair that fell down her back. Her clothes were colorful and showed off her figure a lot, bouncing a bit as she moved.
"I am the amazing and sexy goddess Aqua! Alright, who's the fake goddess trying to steal my spotlight and take over this lame beginner's town?" she shouted loudly, pointing dramatically toward the bar. She seemed very sure of herself.
They slowly turned around on their stools to look at the rude newcomer. Milim set down her overflowing mug. Ranni shifted a little. Gabriel gasped softly, her innocent eyes wide with surprise, clutching her drink nervously as her white wings twitched behind her. Serafall giggled excitedly, her magical girl costume slipping slightly off one shoulder as she leaned in eagerly to watch the drama unfold. Amaterasu slowly blinked from her seat, casually swirling her sake cup, clearly amused by the interruption. Eywa stayed calm and peaceful, watching the stranger carefully with curiosity.
Yasaka stepped from behind the bar, standing tall and proud, her golden tails spreading out impressively behind her. She smiled sweetly yet firmly at the new girl. "My dear, kicking down doors in my son's restaurant is not a very polite first impression..."
"Er..." The blue-haired girl paused. She began to panic, her confidence fading away quickly. Her knees started shaking, and her voice trembled as she took a step back nervously. "H-holy crap… Why do you all feel so crazy powerful?" she stammered, her eyes wide with shock as she finally understood just how badly she'd messed up.
Yasaka narrowed her slitted golden eyes sharply, gazing at the trembling blue-haired goddess who stood frozen in fear. Slowly and gracefully, she sniffed lightly at the air, causing Aqua to shiver visibly and step back nervously.
Yasaka tilted her head curiously, a playful yet predatory smile appearing on her full lips. "Well, well," she said, "What's a minor water goddess doing, barging into my son's restaurant and trying to pick fights?"
Aqua gulped hard, her eyes darting everywhere except meeting Yasaka's fierce stare. She fidgeted anxiously, fingers twisting nervously in her revealing, colorful skirt. "I-I'm sorry!" Aqua stammered quickly, her voice shaking badly, "I didn't know! My name's Aqua, and I'm a goddess of water and reincarnation! B-but what are all these goddesses doing in a beginner's town like this? Are you here to defeat the demon lord or something!?"
Yasaka chuckled warmly, shaking her head as she placed a hand on her ample hip. "Why would we want to fight Milim?" she asked.
Aqua blinked in confusion, completely lost. "H-huh? Who's Milim?" she squeaked.
Suddenly Milim jumped eagerly to her feet from her stool, nearly knocking it over in her excitement. Her pink pigtails bounced energetically as she flipped dramatically through the air several times, her tiny, curvy frame landing with an unsteady stumble. "Woopsy—almost fell over there…"
Clearly, she'd enjoyed a bit too much of Haru's special booze tonight.
Milim placed her hands on her hips proudly and grinned at Aqua, her pink eyes blazing with excitement. "I'm the mighty, fearsome demon lord Milim Nava!" she declared loudly, puffing out her small chest confidently, "If you think you can challenge me, puny water goddess, I'll gladly play with you anytime!"
As Milim's declaration rang out, a wave of her overwhelming power surged briefly around the restaurant. Aqua's knees buckled immediately, sending her crashing to the floor on her hands and knees.
And then Aqua started bawling…
Tears streamed uncontrollably down her cheeks as she wailed, "N-no! Please, I don't wanna die! Why are you even stronger than the demon lord of this world? What the heck is going on here? Who ARE you people?"
Serafall laughed merrily from her spot at the bar, her magical girl outfit sliding dangerously off one shoulder as she watched the drama with delight. "Oh wow, she's even more hopeless than I thought," she giggled, leaning in to whisper playfully to Amaterasu, "I almost feel bad for her…almost."
Amaterasu smirked lazily, swirling her cup of sake with bored amusement. "It's her own fault for kicking down the door," she said calmly, sipping her drink, "though she did give us some entertainment at least."
Eywa shook her head gently. "Perhaps we should show her some kindness," she murmured soothingly, "The poor thing is clearly confused."
Gabriel, her innocent face filled with worry, quickly stood up from her seat. She hurried over to Aqua's side, kneeling down gently beside the sobbing goddess. Gabriel placed a comforting hand on Aqua's shaking back, softly rubbing circles to soothe her. "There, there," Gabriel whispered gently, her voice kind and calming, "It's alright, Aqua—Was it? Nobody here wants to hurt you. You're safe, I promise."
Aqua sniffled loudly, looking up at Gabriel with watery, puppy-dog eyes. "R-really? You're not gonna let them kill me? Because that little demon girl seems super scary!"
Milim pouted indignantly, stomping one foot in annoyance. "Hey! Who are you calling little, you pathetic crybaby! I'm adorable and sexy, damn it!"
"We still want to know why you broke the door to my son's restaurant," Yasaka said, glancing at the mess in annoyance.
But she could admit it was hard to stay mad at someone crying so much they formed a literal puddle on the floor. Definitely a water goddess…
They were always drama queens for some reason.
Ranni casually snapped two fingers from one of her four hands. The broken door pieces began to reassemble themselves back together and a few seconds later the magical front door was repaired. "Tis but a small matter…" Ranni said wistfully.
Aqua sniffled loudly, lifting her tear-streaked face miserably toward Yasaka. "I-it's all Kazuma's fault!" she sobbed bitterly, pounding her fists weakly on the wooden floor, "That idiot NEET dragged me into this dumb world! Now I'm stuck with crazy powerful monsters and scary demon lords and…and whatever all of you are! He ruins everything!"
Ranni's eyes sharpened instantly at the mention of Kazuma's name, her delicate features twisting into an expression of subtle disgust. "Kazuma? Dost thou speak of that repugnant young mortal clad in the vile, unwashed tracksuit who dared proclaim his absurd fantasies about wedding me?" Her voice dripped with icy disdain.
Aqua mumbled quietly, "Yeah, that sounds exactly like Kazuma. Dirty tracksuit, annoying voice, smells like despair and sweat. He said he came here earlier today..." Her eyes widened suddenly in shock. "Wait, he asked YOU to marry him? HIM? Ew, gross! That guy couldn't even get a slime to like him!"
"Indeed, 'twas most unsettling. The foolish mortal is fortunate to still draw breath after uttering such revolting nonsense."
Aqua rolled her eyes, sighing loudly in frustration, "That's just his stupid luck stat kicking in again. It's seriously annoying how lucky that loser can be."
Yasaka's ears perked up sharply, twitching slightly as she overheard Aqua's last words. "Luck stat?" she murmured curiously under her breath. Yasaka couldn't help but wonder if Aqua's world operated under some sort of video game logic, similar to those isekai novels that her daughter Kunou was always enthusiastically reading.
"Wait a moment," Yasaka said slowly. "Did you say earlier that you're a goddess of reincarnation?"
Another world capable of bringing back the dead? So far that was only possible with the magic from Haru's friend Ainz, Ainz's subordinates, and a few people in his world.
Aqua finally stopped her loud sobbing, instantly shifting her emotions as she perked up, brushing away the tear stains from her flushed cheeks. She sat up straighter, pushing her chest out proudly, clearly pleased someone finally asked her about herself. "That's right! I'm the great and wonderful Aqua, the beautiful goddess responsible for reincarnating chosen heroes into worlds to defeat demon lords and save humanity!"
"Heroes, huh?" Milim asked, clearly amused by the idea. "And just how many of these mighty heroes have you sent to their doom so far?"
Aqua's confidence quickly evaporated, her shoulders slumping as she began nervously poking her fingers together, mumbling under her breath. "A couple thousand, give or take a few," she admitted quietly, her voice barely audible.
Serafall burst out laughing loudly, nearly sliding off her stool in amusement as she slapped the bar counter. "Thousands? Really?" she gasped between giggles, tears forming in the corners of her eyes. "You're terrible at your job!"
Milim snickered along with Serafall as she drank deeply from her overflowing mug, ale dripping down her chin. "Wow, you really suck at this goddess stuff!"
Aqua flushed bright red, pouting angrily and folding her arms beneath her chest defensively. "It's not my fault!" she shouted indignantly. "I keep getting stuck with lazy, useless NEETs who think they're cool because they get some cheat powers or gifts! They just end up making harems, fooling around with cute girls, and then dying embarrassingly the second they meet a strong demon!"
'That actually sounds a lot like the novels Kunou reads...' Yasaka thought to herself again. Accept in the novels the reincarnated heroes don't die again, but then again real life would have obvious differences.
Amaterasu chuckled lazily, swirling her cup of sake with mild amusement. "Sounds like a skill issue if you ask me. Perhaps you need better screening methods for your heroes"
Gabriel smiled gently, reaching over to softly pat Aqua's shoulder in comforting reassurance. "Don't be too hard on yourself, Aqua. I'm sure you tried your best."
Aqua groaned loudly, burying her face into her hands dramatically. "You all don't understand!" she wailed pitifully, muffled behind her palms. "I'm stuck with whoever dies stupidly enough to end up in my afterlife room. I don't get to pick! If I did, I'd just use my powers to bring some skilled soldiers back to life or something..."
...Suddenly, a chilling, scratchy voice echoed eerily from right behind Aqua, sending shivers rippling down her spine. "You…you can bring the dead back to life?" the voice rasped, sounding like rusty nails scraping against cold metal.
Aqua squeaked loudly in surprise, her eyes widening comically as she jumped in fright. Her balance failed spectacularly, and she landed ungracefully on her backside, legs flying up in the air. Her skirt flipped up dramatically, giving everyone an unintended show of her panties.
Serafall giggled wickedly, clapping her hands together with delight. "Oh-ho! Pure white! How cute and innocent of you, Aqua!"
Aqua's face instantly flushed a deep crimson color. She scrambled clumsily back to her feet, tugging frantically at her skirt and trying desperately to preserve what little dignity she had left.
Yasaka suspected it wasn't much at this point...
"Sh-shut up!" she stammered angrily, spinning around to confront whoever dared startle her. "Who the heck do you think you—?" Her angry retort died abruptly in her throat as her eyes landed on the mysterious newcomer. Aqua's mouth fell open, her entire body trembling uncontrollably. She stumbled backward in panic, nearly tripping over her own feet again, before bolting to hide nervously behind Gabriel's large white wings. She peeked out cautiously from behind the angel's soft feathers, voice trembling with fear. "Wh-what the heck ARE you?!"
Yasaka wondered that as well...
The figure stood eerily still, silently regarding everyone present. Her appearance was both fascinating and horrifying. Her body was composed entirely of cracked, gray stone-like material, with pieces missing in places as if she'd been brutally damaged. Her arms hung limply at her sides, bits of her stone flesh crumbling slowly onto the wooden floor beneath her. Her long, wild white hair cascaded chaotically down her back, looking brittle and lifeless.
But the most unsettling feature was her face—or rather, her lack thereof. Her entire face was hollowed out, nothing but a pitch-black void in its place. It was as if someone had roughly carved away her identity, leaving only an empty, unsettling abyss where a face should have been. The air around her seemed colder, filled with a sense of haunting sorrow and dread.
Milim tilted her head curiously, completely unfazed by the eerie newcomer. "Wow, you look super cool!" she chirped brightly, leaning forward eagerly. "Are you some kind of ghost or something?"
The newcomer slowly tilted her empty face. "I…I am the Paintress. I asked a question..." she said to Aqua.
Or at least, her head was aimed in Yasaka's general direction. It was hard to tell without a face.
Aqua hesitated nervously, her voice shaking as she mumbled softly, "Y-yes, I can bring people back from the dead…but only once per person, okay? That's my rule! One resurrection each!"
"One time—is enough…" the Paintress rasped firmly. She lifted her stone-like hand and Aqua yelped loudly in surprise as an invisible force tugged her roughly away from Gabriel's gentle grasp. The goddess was suddenly swept up and slung unceremoniously beneath the Paintress's rigid arm like a helpless sack of potatoes.
"Wah!" Aqua wailed dramatically, her legs kicking frantically as tears immediately filled her wide, terrified eyes. Her hands clawed helplessly at the air, trying and failing to break free. "Help me! This beautiful and innocent goddess is being kidnapped by a creepy faceless ghost woman! Someone save me from this freak!"
Yasaka watched the chaotic scene unfold with a mix of mild amusement and slight concern. Her golden tails swished gently behind her as she considered intervening, but a quick glance toward Ranni gave her pause. Ranni simply waved dismissively, signaling there was no reason to interfere. Yasaka snorted softly, deciding to trust the lunar goddess's judgment, though she couldn't help but chuckle quietly at Aqua's over-the-top dramatics.
"Fear not, water goddess," the Paintress rasped dryly, clearly unamused by Aqua's hysterics. "I will return you after you've done what I require..."
Aqua continued kicking and thrashing wildly, her voice rising to hysterical levels. "What do you even want from me?! I'm a goddess of beauty and perfection, not some resurrection vending machine! Put me down, you creepy monster! Kazuma, this is somehow all your fault!" With that, the Paintress turned and began shuffling stiffly toward the exit, Aqua's loud, desperate pleas and shrill protests echoing through the restaurant. "Noooooo! I don't want to go!"
Serafall hiccuped loudly, clearly drunk beyond reason as she swayed unsteadily on her seat. "That wassss super weird," she slurred drunkenly. "But totally funny, too! Hehehehe! Bye-bye, dumb water goddess!"
Amaterasu smirked lazily, swirling her sake cup as she took another leisurely sip, clearly unfazed by Aqua's plight. "Honestly, good riddance," she drawled casually. "Water goddesses are overrated anyway. Everyone knows fire is way better."
"Well then, now that our unexpected entertainment has departed, who wants another round?" Yasaka asked, she tilted her head at the other new woman who had entered the restaurant while everyone was distracted with Aqua's antics. "And who might you be? Will you be drinking as well…?"
"...My name is Clea… And I suppose I will…?" the young woman said, her eyes trailed towards the door for a second in shock, but the Paintress and Aqua were both long gone.
'Tonight has certainly been interesting so far.' she thought to herself. Yasaka wondered how Haru was doing in the shinobi world?
XXX
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Here is the list of Current Advanced Chapters on there:
The Fallen Gamer ch 345-349
The Fox Hole 113
Thunder and Black Wings 41
That's not wizard magic 8
That's not wizard magic 7
That's not wizard magic 6
Thunder and Black Wings 41
The Fox Hole 112
The Blood Queen 63
The Blood Queen 62
A Systematic Tale: The Hero 35
That's not wizard magic 5
That's not wizard magic 4
The Fox Hole 112
That's not wizard magic 3
A Systematic Tale: The Hero 34
The Blood Queen 61
The Fox Hole 111
The Fox Hole 110
Thunder and Black Wings 40
A systematic tale the hero 33
Thunder and black wings 39