August 20
I started my morning routine and dressed in Adidas wide-leg pants, a black Adidas tank top, and grey Adidas shoes, with my hair in two Dutch braids, Sony headphones, and an Adidas watch.
Xingyi and I headed directly to the SM building. I had already messaged my cousins to drop by my new apartment when they had time. Once at the building, the manager responsible for me took me to the trainee room and introduced me to the other trainees. Although I wasn't a regular trainee, the company wanted me to build a good relationship with them to avoid any conflicts when we eventually debuted as a group.
After the introductions, the manager left, and one of the trainees challenged me, likely assuming I was just a visual with no real skills. In the trainee world, both talent and connections are necessary to survive. Not wanting to back down, I accepted the challenge.
I went into the middle of the room and pouted, thinking about what song I should dance to. I casually nodded at the group of people.
To make things interesting, I added, "I haven't danced in three years. So I will dance to 16 Shots by Stefflon Don." The room fell silent, their eyes showed surprise, and they became shocked when I started dancing.
After lunch, I was called into the manager's office. He informed me that Mr. Lee had seen me dance for the first time and wanted to talk. When I met with Mr. Lee, he explained that SM had never participated in a debut project, but they were considering it now. He wanted me to be one of two candidates. At first, I wasn't interested. I wanted to debut in the same company as Taeyong, but after hearing his reasoning and his agreeing to let me debut in a group in SM after the project, I agreed. He assured me that the show was just for training and wouldn't involve making a group debut, and SM would accept any of my 3 conditions, which I decided to keep for the future.
Later, I met the other trainee, Park Nari, who asked me to call her Lily. By the end of the day, we got along well, thanks to Xingyi's helpful guidebook on making new friends. Lily and I exchanged numbers before I headed home.
When I returned to the apartment around 11:30 p.m., Xingyi had already picked up Taeha. Taeha was overjoyed to see me. I completed my night routine and went to sleep.
August 21 – August 31
The past week and a half flew by in a blur. I was too busy to update my diary. The apartment was to my liking. I had a walk-in closet filled with clothes, shoes, and accessories,
Jewelry, watches, and beauty products.
I didn't have to go shopping. The closet was filled with these brands. My mom had filled many products.
Clothing Brands: Chanel, Dior, Gucci, Prada, Balenciaga, Versace, Burberry, Max Mara, Chloé, Fendi, Loewe, Saint Laurent, Hermès, Tory Burch, Oscar de la Renta
Shoe Brands: Christian Louboutin, Gucci, Valentino, Dolce & Gabbana, Tom Ford, YSL (Saint Laurent), Versace, Jimmy Choo, Nike, Adidas, Balenciaga, Stuart Weitzman, Isabel Marant
Accessory Brands: Gucci, Chanel, Hermès, Louis Vuitton, Prada, Fendi, Tiffany & Co., Cartier, Balenciaga, Bvlgari, David Yurman, Chopard, Van Cleef & Arpels
Watch Brands: Rolex, Cartier, Omega, Audemars Piguet, TAG Heuer
Beauty Brands: Chanel, Jo Malone, Marc Jacobs, Dior, La Mer
It gave me a half day to tidy up the whole closet.
During training, I practiced my music production skills and wrote songs in my free time. Xingyi kept me updated on Stray Kids' progress. My days started at 5 a.m. and ended around midnight, leaving little time for anything else.
Lily and I grew closer, and we ate all our meals together. I visited her apartment for dinner twice, and she came to my apartment once. Both sides of my family, my mom's and my dad's, visited my new apartment. It was the first time we'd all met in three years, and we had a family dinner. My second cousin couldn't make it, but promised to visit when he was free.
One of the highlights of my week was approving a sample song for Stray Kids called "Get Cool", which I found surprisingly cute. Despite the hectic schedule, I felt more accomplished and closer to my goals than ever.
September 01 - September 13
This month flew by in a whirlwind of activity. I was so busy, but I still made time to visit my cousin for his birthday. It had been ages since I last saw him and his group, and I was pleasantly surprised when they all remembered me. What made the day even better was seeing Taeha make a new friend; it was adorable.
My daily routine was pretty packed. From morning until 2 p.m., I spent my time at JYP, mostly hanging around with Stray Kids. I felt like a spy, watching over them to gather inspiration for the album I was tasked with creating. I'd talk to the members to hear their thoughts and ideas. Out of all of them, Jisung was the easiest to connect with, and we quickly became close. He had such a laid-back vibe that made conversations effortless.
After 2 p.m., it was training time. Lily, who joined after school, and I would practice together until 11 p.m. before heading back. Despite the long hours, I was fueled by excitement and determination.
September 14
I got ready for the day after doing my morning routine. I wore a baby pink tweed dress with a white Chanel mini shopping bag paired with gold pearl Chanel jewelry. I went to my grandparents' house since my parents said they would come to stay there for a while. On the way, I didn't forget to send the gift I bought for Jisung's birthday. At the same time, I brought the same brand, Seiko, Men's Wrist Watches for all the members. So I can give them on their birthdays. Since all are the same color, Seiko SRPD Divers, I asked the shop to engrave their initials inside the watch.
Bang Chan az BC, Woojin as WJ, Lee Know as LK, Changbin as CB, Jisung as HJ, Hyunjin as HH, Felix as LF, Seungmin as SG, and IN as IN.
When I arrived at my grandparents' house, they were still having breakfast. I was warmly welcomed and asked to join the breakfast. I joined the breakfast and started eating.
"E, meet your brother, Ivan," said my grandmother, and I first looked at my grandmother and then at the person.
It was now that I was curious about the 6th person sitting at the table. I would have known that my grandparents don't allow unrelated people to dine with us. The boy sitting beside my mom had a very slim face, yet had a delicate innocence to it, framed by short, wispy hair that barely brushed his forehead. His hair, pure black, gleamed subtly in the light, the strands slightly tousled.
His large, non-expressive eyes are so cold, yet he has hidden warmth in there, perhaps the most striking feature of his face. They were a light shade of hazel or perhaps amber, with long lashes. His nose was small and button-like, and his lips were not thin and not full but faintly curved. His skin was fair, almost translucent, with a light blush that colored his cheeks.
I look back at my grandmother, asking, "What brother?"
"Your brother, since there are a lot of things in the family and you can't handle it all alone, your parents have decided to adopt Ivan. Ivan is a good child, and we all hope you both get along well." After listening to my grandmother, I put down my utensils and took a breath.
"Are you against the idea? Even though you're, it doesn't matter. We don't need your opinion, we just want to inform you." I was used to my grandmother's harsh words. I just nod.
"It's not that I am against your idea. It's just too sudden, and I think I need some time to absorb all the things. Excuse me," I said, and went outside the house to get some air.
I thought someone would come after me and comfort me and say no matter what, our love for you will never decrease. It was just my wish, and Xingyi came to me, and she was the one to comfort me. It only took less than an hour for me to get myself together and accept the fact that I have a brother. I was dedicated, and I will do my best to get along with him. I was asked to stay in my grandparents' house and to attend a few social events with my parents and new brother, Ivan.
The day went on, and the night, after dinner, I tried conversing with my brother.