Gabe
The ultimatum I would have made was the person sitting in the front seat with Kel.....my mom.
The one person I did not want to shop with.
My mom can easily make a quick shopping trip into a grueling hours long torturous trip as she tries her damndest to burn her credit card to the ground as I can imagine my dad's blood pressure hitting the moon when he gets the final monthly statement.
What my mom doesn't know, or at least she doesn't seem to know, is that my dad has a running deal with each of us kids.
The deal is to try to keep my mom's spending down when she goes shopping. If we succeed, then dad gives us money. I have no idea how much he gives because I've never succeeded.
Yeah right I have a better chance running through a lion's den of hungry lion's with steaks wrapped around my waist or convincing a bear to switch to tofu than trying to pry my mom's credit card from her grasp when she's out shopping.
If I was a betting man I'd have higher odds with my lion or bear scenarios than trying to pry my mom's credit card.
Still we try.
And right now my odds aren't looking really good with two enabler's otherwise known as Summer and Kel.
My best option is just go with the flow and pray we're not out shopping all damn day. That or turn into a little five year old and throw hissy fits as I try to rush the girls in their shopping endeavor.
The only thing I was able to succeed on was stopping to get me some electrolyte fluids which my mom, and the girl's, happily agreed saying that she needed to get some last minute supplies for thanksgiving.
At least any cold items we get will force us to get home as fast as possible but I was told that stop would be last.....damn it.
Our first stop was a lingerie boutique that my mom knows and swears by that should have enough fabric to hold up Kel's new assets.
We walked into the boutique and I quickly found a seat near the entrance and was about to sit down to play on my phone, but Summer grabbed me and whispered to me, "I promised you a show."
Kel quickly looped her arm in my other arm and whispered, "More of a private fashion show."
I looked at both girl's as they winked at me before giggling and just about hauled my ass towards the changing location.
We didn't get far as there was a female employee standing in front of the changing rooms and stopped us, "I'm sorry ladies but no men beyond this point."
Summer pouted at the girl, "Can't you make an exception?"
The girl looked at Summer, "Absolutely not. It's against this store's policy."
My mom stepped up, "Even if we make it worth your while?"
The girl looked at my mom, "Sorry I can't. I don't want to lose my job."
All three girls looked at the girl keeping them from giving me a private show. Then I saw a smirk form on my mom's face, "How about I REALLY make it worth your while? Say...." she looked at Summer, "Two..." then to Kel, "Three...." Then she addressed the girl, "Four hundred dollar's for you to look the other way."
The girl looked at my mom wide eyed, "Four hundred?"
My mom nodded very slowly like she was speaking the universal language.
The girl thought about it before she sighed and whispered, "I can't because the camera's above us and in the dressing rooms." Then she spoke loudly as if putting on a show, "I'm sorry ma'am I can't do that."
My mom looked up at saw the camera's the girl was talking about as we all looked up at the camera's.
My mom looked at the girl and nodded before she folded her arms at her as she spoke sweetly, "Then get me your manager."
The girl got wide eyed, "Ma'am...."
My mom held up her hand to her as she continued speaking sweetly, "Relax honey I won't get you in trouble I just want you to get your manager."
The girl sighed, "Yes ma'am."
And she sulked off as we waited. Just before she was out of sight I caught the girl giving my mom a dirty look.
I looked at my mom and hissed, "What do you think you're doing???"
She looked at me and smiled, "Relax Gabe let your momma handle all this."
We waited.... And waited until the girl came back with a woman.
The woman quickly addressed my mom, "My sales rep here says you need to speak with me?"
My mom looked at the woman, "You the manager?"
The woman nodded, "That I am. What can I do for you?"
My mom sweetly spoke, "Yes I was wondering if us females can use your fine establishment to give our man here a little fashion show in your dressing rooms."
The woman coughed, "Ma'am as I'm sure you can understand that we can't allow that sort of thing to happen. What with our other customer's."
My mom looked around the boutique to signify that we were the only customers in the building as she spoke, "What other customer's? We're the only one's here."
The woman scowled at my mom, "Still Ma'am this is an clothing establishment."
My mom smiled sweetly at the manager, "All I'm asking is to possibly...." My mom made a show of thinking as she used the next word's, "Rent your changing rooms for our exclusive use." She sweetly added, "I think the owner would greatly appreciate you helping one of her best advertisers with this simple task."
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