18th of December, 1992.
(Y/n)'s POV
Thankfully, the day didn't start as bad as I thought it would. The weather had gone incredibly wild and a blizzard went out, so Professor Sprout said she needed to keep the Mandrakes warm. Fine by me, I don't think I would've been able to handle Herbology today.
I sat near the fire in the common room, talking to Harry, though he kept insisting about what happened yesterday. I didn't really want to remember any of it. Hermione and Ron were playing wizard chess, or rather, Ron was destroying her for the eleventh time.
We may have grown apart, but I still knew her enough to know what she was thinking. The way her brows frowned and her nose was slightly wrinkled meant she was taking this loss hard, she'd never admit it, though.
"For heaven's sake! If you two are so worried about Justin, go and find him!" She snapped, groaning as Ron checkmated her once again.
She hated losing. I'll never forget the face she made when I showed her I did better than her in Charms last year. As much as I hate to say it, she was right. It was the easier solution, even if I dreaded it .
Harry offered to come with me, and I gladly took his offer. I wanted to change, but it was too much for me to go around the school with all of this happening.
The castle was freezing, and though I didn't mind it, Harry was shivering. I felt bad, we left in a hurry because of me. Feeling guilty, I petted Blaze, and handed her to him.
She had this thing, she radiated warmth, probably because she was a magical fire being, and thanks to her, my clothes were always toasty. So I left her on Harry's shoulder, and she quickly curled in his shoulder, trying to keep him warm.
"Thanks" He mumbled, "aren't you cold?"
"I don't mind it," I admitted, with a small smile. After always being with Blaze, a bit of cold felt refreshing, so It was a win-win situation.
The whole castle seemed darker and quieter, not because of anything bad, but because of the snow covering every window. I've always loved to play with it, but I had no one to do so with, until now. But right now we had things that mattered more.
After walking for a while through the shadowed halls, we ended up in the library, where we spotted a group of Hufflepuffs in the back of it. Harry had the idea of asking them where Justin was, and so we went, although I didn't really want to.
Harry suggested we ask them about Justin, but he noticed they were talking about something, so we hid behind the bookshelf that was behind where they were sitting. I didn't really like eavesdropping, but Harry had a serious look.
"So, anyways," Said a blond boy, " I told Justin to hide up in our dormitory. I mean to say, if (L/n)'s marked him as his next victim it's best if he keeps a low profile" A knot appeared in my chest, making it hard to breath as soon as he said that.
"You definitely think it is (L/n), then, Ernie?" A girl with blond twin tails asked, rather scared, the blond boy, who I now knew was named Ernie, nodded, and kept talking.
"Hannah, he's a Parselmouth. Everyone knows that's the mark of a dark wizard. Have you ever heard of a decent one who could talk to snakes? They called Slytherin himself Serpent-tongue,"
The words that left his mouth shouldn't have affected me, I didn't know him, but it got me thinking.
If dark wizards are the only ones who have this... then what about Dad? He-He's not a dark wizard. He fights them! He can't be one... can he?
There was so much I didn't know, most of what I did was because of slips from people who apparently knew him much more than I did. I shook my head.
"...They're not all bad..." I whispered, as if I was trying to convince myself. Convince my own mind playing dirty tricks on me.
Harry looked at me, and I must have been making an awful face, because he seemed angry as soon as he saw me. I could feel he wanted to go on to them and say something, but before he could, Ernie kept talking.
"Remember what was written on the wall? Enemies of the Heir Beware? (L/n)'s friend, Potter, had a run-in with Filch early on the year. Next thing we know, Filch's cat's attacked. That first year, Creevey, once again, was annoying Potter at the Quidditch match, and (L/n) took that chance. Next thing we know, Creevey's been attacked."
I was trying really, really hard, to not let those words hit me as hard as they did, but...
"He always seemed so quiet, though, and-and his dad, he's really famous at the Ministry. He can't be all that bad, can he?" Ernie's face darkened, and he lowered his voice.
"That's the thing. No one knows where his father came from, he suddenly appeared and shot up the ranks, but no one knows a thing. He goes on missions, and comes back almost immediately, he might be a Death Eater, for all we know." Death Eater? What is-
"But... (L/n) helped stop the stone's theft last year..." Hannah said, weakly.
"How did a first year survive a troll alone? Dark magic, Hannah, his dad must've taught him a few tricks. They wanted the stone for themselves." Ernie quickly shot back.
Was that how everyone thought about me? A dark wizard- a monster that ruthlessly killed a troll?
I nearly died, my bones shattered. The troll tossed me away- swatted me, like I was a bug, like I was nothing. I remember hearing my own screams. I remember- I remember thinking I wouldn't see Mom or Dad again.
There isn't a single day I don't think about the life I took. About how it wasn't it's fault, but it was either him or me.
I-
My breath went out of control, and I could feel a few tears going down my face, somehow, they felt warm in my skin, probably because of how cold it actually was. My mind was a mess, a million thoughts going around at the same time, each one blurred because of the speed they were going.
I closed my eyes, I wanted to escape, to be alone, to everything to be quiet. And suddenly, when I opened my eyes, there were no bookshelves, there were no voices whispering about me, there was no Harry, there was no ground. No Blaze.
I was suspended in the air, and as I looked around, I realised I was in my mind's space, surrounded by thousands of windows floating around, but this time, only one was open.
It was like my mind knew I was going into panic mode, and it ejected myself and brought me here. In front of this window, I propelled myself towards it, and found... me, I was watching a memory of me.
It was the first time I actually was able to see this kind of stuff, the closer I got to the window, the more details I could notice. It was a dark, almost grey, landscape, full of different kinds of dead looking trees surrounding me, but I was in a clearing, and as if it was something drawing itself, I saw someone else.
Next to me, there was a pale blond girl, her wand in her ear, with a cork necklace, and really big silver eyes that always managed to make me uncomfortable and calm at the same time, which really combined with her quiet aura.
Luna.
It was the time we went to the forbidden forest, where she showed me- well, rather, talked to me about Thestrals. It seemed like a simple memory, really, but behind all of those layers, it was one of the most peaceful moments of my life.
Why? I have no idea, truthfully, the Forbidden Forest scared me, it was the place of the scariest moment of my life, but in that moment, even I could say it. The forest was beautiful, and it was only thanks to Luna that I was able to notice that.
I wouldn't be able to say that if I didn't force myself to do it, and once again, I was able to notice something thanks to her.
If I wanted to change, to not be afraid anymore. If I wanted to stop regretting everything I didn't do, that change must start within myself. I can't expect anyone to fight my battles.
I can do it. No, I must.
Suddenly, I was jerked into my body, and it all hit me at once, the whispering, Harry clenching his fists, the wooden floor getting into contact with my shoes, and the coldness of the air around us. Everything was the same, except that I could feel the cold more.
My whole body was full of change. And if I wanted a chance to prove it, to prove myself that I could change, it was now or never.
So I took it.
I stepped out of the bookshelves, and one by one, each Hufflepuff that saw me looked as if they were petrified.
As I approached the table, Ernie noticed everyone was weird and turned around. When he saw me, he had a bit of fear in his eyes, I could feel it, I forgot to close my mind.
I took a big breath, and thinking very clearly of what I wanted to say, I spoke.
"Where's Justin?" Every other Hufflepuff turned their looks on Ernie.
"What do you want with him?" He asked, his voice quavering a bit.
"There was a misunderstanding. I want to make sure he doesn't get the wrong idea," Somehow, I was keeping all my words clear.
"We were all there, we saw what happened"
"Really? Well, then you must've seen how the snake was turning towards me, no?" I tried to keep my voice stable, so that it didn't come out weird,
"All I saw was you speaking Parseltongue," I've got to say, he was really scared, I didn't need Legilimency to see that, but still, kept talking, I respected that, "Chasing the snake towards Justin,"
"He didn't chase it at him!" Said Harry, who was now next to me, "It didn't even touch him!" He was furious, his face was all contorted, and it made me happy that he was this angry because of me. Is that weird? I don't know.
"It was a very near miss, and in case you're wondering," He started to talk really fast, "I might tell you that you can trace my family back through nine generations of witches and wizards-" I take it back, I don't respect him.
"I don't care about your bloody blood!" I said, fiercely, I hated that everyone kept slinging around those rumours, I feared it, but now that I was facing one of the spreaders, I was angry, "Why would I want to attack Muggle-Borns? My- My best friend is one of them!"
Saying that last part made my chest hurt, it reminded me of the gap that exists between us right now. But that gap didn't make my statement less true, even if we may never go back to how it was, that was true once, and nothing would change it.
"Oh, I don't know, I've heard you and Granger got into a fight a few weeks ago, she- she must've figured out what kind of person you are, and you got angry at her!" That last statement made me feel angrier than ever, because it was implying that- that I would hurt her.
"Don't you dare-" I felt Harry tugging on my robe and when I looked to where he pointed at. I saw Madam Prince looking at me, really angry. I was reminded that we were in the library, and quickly turned to Harry and nodded as we ran.
Once we were out of the library, he started to talk to me, as he handed Blaze back.
"I never once thought you'd be able to do that,"
"Yeah, me neither, I feel a bit tired, is it always this tiresome?" He seemed a bit more relaxed now, and laughed a bit.
"Yup. I have to say, though, I was a bit worried you'd use that," I looked at him confused at what he meant, but then I felt something in my hand. As I laid my eyes on my hand, I realised that, somehow, I took my wand out of my pocket.
It must've been when I got angry at them, but still... the fact that- that I didn't notice it, it scared me a bit.
"O-Oh, I... I didn't even realise it, to be honest," He looked concerned a bit, "D-Don't worry, I'd never use my wand in anyone except they were dangerous, I-I think I grabbed it out of habit," I went on a bit of a rampant, without looking where I was going.
This, of course, came with consequences. Only to me.
I bumped into someone- well, at first I thought I crashed into a wall, because it made me fall in my butt. I heard Harry snicker a bit, and before I could say anything to him, he looked up and started to talk.
"Hullo, Hagrid,"
"A-Ah, sorry, Hagrid," I said, standing up.
"All righ', Harry, (Y/n)? Why aren' yeh two in class?" He asked, when I finally managed to see his face, he looked like Santa, if Santa was almost three meters tall, and wore a really big moleskin jacket. His beard and hair was full of snow, I would have laughed if it was any other time.
"Thankfully, it got cancelled," I said, quite happy that we didn't have to go into that really damp place today, it would've made a bad day even worse.
"Blimey, yeh really hate Herbology, don' yeh?" I felt a bit ashamed, and nodded.
"What're you doing here, Hagrid?" Asked Harry, as soon as that sentence ended, Hagrid extended his arm to show he was holding something.
Feathers jumped in all directions as soon as he did that, and saw a limp Rooster, the sight didn't scare me, but it did make me feel a bit sad.
"Second one killed this semester" He explained, as if it was nothing, I suppose he must be used to seeing the Roosters die every once in a while.
"Oh," I sadly let out, "Have you got any idea what's been doing it?"
"It's either foxes or Blood-Suckin' Bugbear," I think Grandma told me about those in one of her rants about magical creatures, they shouldn't be around for this time of the year, but I probably got it mixed up, she really likes to rant about them.
"I need the Headmaster's permission ter put a charm around the hen-coop,"
"Are they magical roosters?" I asked, ever since Grandma gifted me the book of magical creatures, I've grown to be excited to meet any kind of creature, I think Luna is to blame for that, too, she likes to rant about them as well, and besides, that kind of surprise would help me feel a bit better.
"Er, no, they're yer average roosters,"
"Oh..." I said, looking down as all my enthusiasm was being thrown out the window. When I looked up, I saw Hagrid looking at me closer than before, as if he was examining me.
"Are yeh sure yer alrigh', (Y/n)? Yeh look all mushy an' sad," Could everyone look at me and immediately know what I was feeling? Anyways, I couldn't really tell Hagrid what happened, I didn't really have the energy for it nor I wanted to remember it all that much.
"I'm fine, Hagrid. I hope you find whatever's killing your roosters," I said, and started to walk. Harry said goodbye, too, and quickly followed me.
We started to walk towards the common room, and climbed a few stairs, as we turned around, and found ourselves in an even more dark corridor than before, the torches were all without fire, and we could feel the cold wind going through what apparently was a window left open.
Harry took out his wand, and quickly muttered 'Lumos' and we could see, not much, but still, it was more than before. We started to walk through the corridor, and something gave me a bad feeling. Like something went through here minutes before we did.
It was a familiar feeling, a familiar uncomfortability that crept through my whole body, but couldn't quite name. Something in the tip of my tongue, but it slipped my mind. Something I shouldn't forget. Something that made my blood freeze.
I heard Harry trip with something, I would have laughed if tension wasn't building all around my body. I approached him as he got up and approached the light coming from his wand towards what he tripped with.
The sight alone made me almost scream, almost pass out. Because it happened again.
Justin Finch-Fletchley, with his face full of shock and fear, was lying on the floor, his expressions unchanging, staring at the ceiling. Petrified.
I took a step back and quickly drew my wand out of my pocket out of habit, but he wasn't alone. In a black, smokey state that contrasted his usual white one, was Nearly Headless Nick, immobile, and with the same expression of pure fear and shock Justin had.
Harry's breathing started to become faster, and he looked pale, as he looked around, trying to find an answer to what just happened here. I thought about doing that, too, but I realised that the creature, whatever it was, knew how to keep its tracks hidden.
My breath became almost non-existent. It was becoming harder and harder to breathe, it felt like I was being suffocated, and it became harder to think of something in specific.
Before I could think deeply about how someone could petrify a ghost, or focus on the other million thoughts that were running through my mind, I heard a noise behind one of the many doors that were in the corridor Harry and I were in, and one of those million thoughts came to me.
Harry's life was tough, his guardians treated him cruelly, his parents, the ones that should've been by his side, and guide him through life, were mercilessly killed when he was a kid. He himself said it, Hogwarts was his home.
If someone, whoever it was, found him here- with me, alongside another two victims, the place he holds dear, his true home, a place where he can feel safe- and loved, suddenly would be full of rumors, of hatred. You don't need Legilimency to feel that.
I don't want him to go through that. No one should. I couldn't let that happen, I won't let that happen.
In a swift manner, I pointed my wand at him, and muttered a spell my dad showed me, a rather simple one, but that could be of help in moments like this. Quickly, I moved my wand to make a 'V' in the air, and pointed at him,
"Ventus" I muttered softly, I focused all my intent on just pushing him with enough strength so that he wouldn't feel any pain as I pushed him. The spell did as it was told, and Harry's face was full of surprise as he was pushed.
Before he was fully pushed, I already started to make my next spell, I moved my wand in a spiral as I was used to, but this time, it was directed to Harry, and muttered.
Once I finished, he realised what I was trying to do, he saw me do it in the Hospital Wing, and tried to stop me, but it was too late, his legs and arms were already starting to mix with the walls.
I smiled sadly at him, and gestured to him to go, as his expression filled with sadness and impotence, until he completely became one with the walls. If you squint your eyes and focus with everything you got, you could maybe see him, but the darkness of the corridor helped.
Suddenly, the door shot open, as if someone kicked it. From it, came a little man-ghost, the most colorful of them all, the one that made me the most uncomfortable and anxious.
Peeves the Poltergeist.
"Why, it's Myrtle's admirer, (L/n)!" He said, laughing wildly as he bounced past me, almost knocking Blaze, "What's (L/n) up to? Why's (L/n) lurking-" I turned to him as he was talking, and saw him stop dead in his tracks, as I understood he saw the two petrified victims.
He seemed concerned for a second, and took a really big breath. Before I could do anything to stop what I knew was coming, Peeves screamed the loudest I've ever heard anyone scream.
"ATTACK! ATTACK! ANOTHER ATTACK! NO MORTAL OR GHOST IS SAFE! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES! ATTAAAAAAACK!" My ears were in deep pain, and my head too.
After the scream, bang after bang was heard, as doors were shot open quickly, and in a matter of seconds, the whole corridor was filled with people, so much so that I was pinned against the wall, they weren't specifically surrounding me, but still, there was nowhere to escape, everyone talking about it, and the combinations of their voices was really loud.
The whole situation reminded me of the time I found Mrs Norris, and my breathing, which I thought I could control, started to get wild.
It started to go faster and faster, and I could feel my heart beating in my chest, so loud that I could even hear it, or maybe it was the nerves. I could feel the tears threatening to pour out, and somehow, I knew that if it kept going like that, I would find myself once again in my mind's space.
I looked over to my shoulder, and saw Blaze, and, with all the expression a salamander can make, looked concerned about me, and pushed her head towards my cheek.
That gesture, as simple as it was, filled me with warmth, of love. I closed my eyes as I focused on that, and it calmed my breathing a bit.
It didn't make all my nervousness disappear, but it gave me enough free space to stabilize my breathing, and calm myself as much as I could, so that I wouldn't break down, at least not here.
I chose this, now... I had to stand by it.
I slowly opened my eyes, and started to focus on my breathing, on keeping it steady, in only one rhythm. As I did, I could see Professor McGonagall running, as she took her wand and a really loud 'BANG' was heard.
All the voices suddenly died out, and with one stern look from Professor McGonagall, everyone returned to their classes, I gave out a sigh that made me feel a bit relieved.
As soon as everyone returned to their classrooms, Ernie, the kid from the library, came running, panting.
"Caught in the act!" He yelled, pointing his finger at me, his face full of an expression that I knew too well from Hermione, a 'told you so' kind of expression.
"That will do, Macmillan!" Said Professor McGonagall, with an angry expression.
"Oh (L/n), you rotter, oh what have you done? You're killing off students-"
"I haven't killed anyone!" I screamed at Peeves, out of pure nervousness.
"Cut it out, Peeves!" Professor McGonagall said, and as soon as she said that, the poltergeist left, going through walls.
Professor Flitwick and Professor Sinistra, who taught Astronomy, came and took Justin to the Hospital wing. I didn't look at any of them, honestly, I felt ashamed. I didn't want to see Professor Flitwick's face, I... I didn't want to see what kind of face he'd make to me.
Professor McGonagall conjured a large fan, and handed it to Ernie so that he could take Nearly Headless Nick to the Hospital Wing, too. Which left us two there, in silence. I didn't want to look at her face, either. I just kept looking at the ground.
"This way, (L/n)," The severity, paired with uncertainty in her voice, made me look up, to answer immediately, to shoot down any kind of thoughts she may have.
"Professor, I didn't-" As soon as I saw her face, her expression, the words got stuck in my throat, I couldn't explain it, but something in her face made me feel like... like she knew something that I didn't, and that feeling shook me.
"This is out of my hands, (L/n),"
We continued the whole walk in silence, she didn't need to say where we were going, I recognised the path we were taking. I knew where we were going.
We stopped in front of a statue, one that I was familiar with. I've seen it more times than I'd like to admit. The Gargoyle.
"Sherbet Lemon!" She said, and a path was opened, a spiral staircase, and the two of us started to climb it. After a few seconds that felt like minutes, we finally left the stone staircase, and kept walking towards the oak door.
Professor McGonagall opened the door slowly, I followed her, and then she told me to wait, as she wandered off to go deeper in Professor Dumbledore's office. I never really noticed it, but the headmaster's office was full of really interesting things.
There were a bunch of musical instruments, dancing on their own, making little sounds. A bunch of portraits of old headmasters were on the walls, all of them sleeping. My eyes were drawn to Professor Dumbledore's desk, which in itself had a lot of stuff, too.
I looked behind it, and saw something I didn't notice before. On a shelf, there was a really old wizard hat, one that I haven't seen ever since I first set foot in Hogwarts. The Sorting Hat.
Maybe some people would disagree with me on this one, but I was almost certain the hat had a conscience of its own. That got me thinking, the first time I 'talked' to it, it seemed to know more than it let on.
I didn't really notice it back then, but as more time went on, the more I thought about it. It immediately knew that Ron was another Weasley, and so with Ginny, so it must have some kind of memory. What if... What if it remembered my parents?
Maybe, just maybe, I could get something out of him, he wouldn't lie to me, he's supposed to tell you your values, your traits, what defines you, it sees something in you that it's invisible to other eyes.
I knew that the more time that I doubted, that I hesitated, it would be a second lost. So I took a big breath, and walked towards it silently, trying to not wake up any of the paints that were hanging around the walls.
Carefully, I took the hat, and slowly put it in my head. Just like last year, it was too big for my head, but I could feel it a bit smaller, even if just a tiny bit.
"Bee in your bonnet, (Y/n) (L/n)?" I got a bit startled, but quickly composed myself.
"Yeah, sorry for, er, waking you up, I just- I got questions-"
"Yes, doubts... I can see them," It said, as if it was deep in thought, "But not about your house, but, for who you are? The one with the special blood..."
"Special-"
"So many questions, so little time. You are what your decisions and convictions make you be, child. Don't be afraid of what is to come, sooner or later, the past will catch you. You must be prepared for your lineage. The truth behind it."
I was left filled with dread.
Before I could even think about it. Before I could drown in my own thoughts and breath-taking anxiety.
I heard a blast.