"You wanna be a what now?!" Maria shouted in confusion.
We managed to get into the sky whale and are now stuck in its mouth with a giant tongue constantly trying to lick Maria.
"Perverted asshole..."
"Ugh! For the last time! I wanna be a Mob Boss!"
"Why would you wanna boss around a bunch of mops? It's not like they can listen to you. Or can they?!"
"What?! No!! A Mob Boss is someone who is free from all the rules of society! Someone so freakishly strong that no one ever tells me what to do!"
"Oh... but why do you want something like that?"
"It's simple, my dear. I'd love to live a life where I can do whatever the fuck I want, and the only way to get that is to be a Mob Boss!"
"Seems pretty basic, don't you think? I mean, if you were the main character of some story, you'd be pretty boring."
"Me?! Boring?! I'm Spike Dogtooth! I'm anything but boring! And what about you? What's your great motivation?"
"Oh, well, uh... I just wanna explore the galaxy. I've lived my whole life on my homeworld, and after my, uh... incident, I got cast out in this exact space whale and ended up on Farmer's planet, and, well, the rest is history."
"Oh, I see. But what's up with that incident? What did you do that was so bad they cast you out? Or is it about that feral thing of yours?"
"Uh... yeah, I don't really like to talk about it," Maria said, looking down and holding her jacket tightly.
"Say no more, kiddo. You don't wanna talk, so I don't wanna listen."
Upon hearing that, she ran up to me and hugged me tightly. Just when I thought she couldn't hug any tighter, she did.
"Hey... if you wanna be a Mob Boss, then you'll need a gang or something, right? Can I join?" she said in a somber tone.
"There's that damn nostalgia again!"
"Hehe! Yeah, sure! But don't come crying to me when you realize who you're stuck with. Sorry, but whether you like it or not, you're stuck with Spike Dogtooth! You ready for that?"
All Maria did was hold me even tighter.
I don't know what got into me, but I held her back. I gotta say, it was nice. I still don't know why, but there was something really familiar about all this.
"Awww, ain't that sweet..."
That voice...
It was that man.
The one who dressed and talked like me. He was standing at the other end of the mouth, leaning on one of the whale's giant teeth.
Wait, was he real or...?
But before I went to jump him, he disappeared in the literal blink of an eye.
What was he doing there? Why was I thinking about him now of all times? Or was I going insane? Or rather, more insane than I already am?
Maria suddenly pushed me away, but I immediately saw why. That damn whale's tongue licked her again.
After we gave that tongue a good beating, that's when we asked the important question...
Where the fuck was that damn whale going?!
We tried to look for the eyes or a window or something to help us, but we found none.
"What about up there?" Maria said, pointing at the blowhole above us.
"Huh... Maria, you little green-skinned genius! Now all we need is to get up there," I said as I thought about how to reach the blowhole, which was several meters above us.
Then Maria had an idea.
I knew not because she told me but because of the face she made. I don't know why, but even that kind of "Ah, I got this!" face seemed so nostalgic.
What was wrong with me?!
Who was she reminding me of?
Before I could think any further, however, I felt two hands grab me. Maria's hands. That's when I realized her idea.
She chucked me as fast as she could right at the whale's blowhole.
After taking a deep breath after realizing we were in space, I flew toward the target, and bullseye! She managed to clog the blowhole with me.
With half my body in the whale and half my body out, I took my first look into space, and I have to say...
Space is pretty rad.
I'm sure you're probably expecting some long-winded explanation of space, but I ain't doing that. I'm not really good with that kind of stuff.
I know, I know! I'm the narrator.
Let's just say, it's the most beautiful thing you'll see for a while. Like a giant soup with so many beautiful colors coming together.
The stars, planets, comets... All of it. It's all so mesmerizing.
Anyway, back to the whale...
I got a good look at where our flying friend was coming from, but once I tried to tell Maria, I realized something...
I was stuck.
It seems I'm exactly the right size for the blowhole. Too much, in fact, that I was blocking it, so not only could I not slip out, I was also stopping the whale from breathing!
So now its wings didn't work as well, and now it was choking. I think you know what that means...
I couldn't tell Maria, but that didn't stop the whale from crashing...
Into a planet that looks like a coconut...
Soon everything turned dark...
Then it was all white...
Was I dead? Was this the afterlife? Well, it felt a lot like hell to me because I was burning.
I was swimming in some kind of white fluid, or should I say drowning because I was sinking like a rock and burning up like I was on fire.
It was torture.
I tried to move, to breathe, but it was all hell. I couldn't do anything but suffer and die.
Then I saw something heading my way. Some kind of little pink ball.
It was coming closer. They say you shouldn't go into the light when you're on the brink of death, but the light was the last place I wanted to be right now.
As my skin began to melt from the heat, I did my best to resist the immense pain and swim toward this mysterious pink orb.
Just...
A little...
Closer...
And...
Got it! I grabbed the little pink orb and held it tightly, but nothing happened.
As the last of my outer skin melted, I realized I was doomed to die...
Could this be the end for me?
Out of nowhere, however, the orb began to grow bigger and envelop me. I was finally out of the hell.
Technically, at least. I was surrounded by it, but thanks to the orb, I was safe from the heat. Well, this orb was more of a bubble, really, and that kind of scared me.
I feared the slightest movement would pop this bubble and send me back to this white liquid hell all around me.
I didn't move, but the bubble did, and it seemed to be moving up. When I looked up, I saw the end of some kind of tunnel. It was pitch black.
A stark contrast to this hell I was in.
The bubble flew on, and eventually, I was out of that white hell.
However, once I escaped thanks to this bubble, I got all the answers I needed...
The End... FOR NOW!