(This jumpchain is actually made by Valeria on Reddit, who I stole it from.)
''= thinking
"" = talking
Kenny awoke in his bed after fading away from Jump-Chan's office. He rose up and gazed upon his surprisingly well decorated and clean room with a small wardrobe in the corner, something he was not accustomed to due to his years as a NEET. He slowly got up whilst stretching and feeling his bones crack and pop whilst inspecting his body.
He was butt booty ass naked.
Kenny let out a small yelp before rushing to his wardrobe and trying to find some clothes (not before inspecting his little Kenny, who was a solid 7-inch flaccid), and found a comfy purple tracksuit he donned before going outside to hit the town. 'So this is what Konosuba is like in real life, huh? It's more peaceful than I imagined.' He mused while walking the bustling streets of Axel.
Axel was a very friendly and popular city, especially for beginners. Merchants were on the street selling various goods, from mundane to small artifacts. Children were running around with kites and even casting tiny spells, judging by the very small magic circles on their hands, while the cool spring sun laid its rays upon everybody. Everything was going pretty well for Kenny for a while; hell, he even got a couple of barbecued skewers from a local merchant using some coins he found on the ground.
This all came to a halt when Kenny sensed a familiar aura around him. He quickly looked around and saw the being emitting this powerful yet unknown aura. He was an average-height Japanese man with brown hair and green eyes. What quickly clued Kenny in to him not being normal is the fact that he had a very similar tracksuit to him except for it being green with black around the arms. He wore an annoyed expression on his face until he suddenly stopped in his tracks to stare at Kenny the same way he was staring at him.
There was also a girl walking behind him with waist-long light blue hair and a staff at her hip. She had very generous proportions, with her breasts being very large and having a pretty cute face. Although that was ruined by her incessant whining about being a "so-called goddess" (even though Kenny knew she was, he would never call her that out of principle). The woman bumped into a brown-haired man, and before she could nag him about messing up her godly face, she noticed him and Kenny having a staredown.
But before she could comment about anything, the brown-haired man and Kenny started walking towards each other with a menacing aura, one that someone could even call... bizarre.
As they slowly got closer, they each brought their hand up and unknowingly infused both of their hands at that moment with magic, letting them achieve what they were about to do. They eventually met in the middle, with both of them giving each other the hardest dap-up they could. The dap echoes throughout the town square, drawing the gaze of everybody there as they look at these two insane people. As their hands departed from each other, they gave a little head nod and walked in their separate ways. The blue-haired woman soon caught up to the man and asked. "Kazuma, what the hell was that!?" The now-named Kazuma kept his head straight and yelled, "Aqua, you fool!" Aqua flinched back a bit. "Didn't you see it?"
As Kazuma was talking to Aqua, Kenny was having his own inner dialogue. 'The way he avoided touching any woman at all!'
"How his posture was horrible even while walking."
'How his skin was horrible, like he hasn't seen the sun in years'
"That guy…"
'That guy…'
"Is a total fuckin NEET like me!"
—--------------------—--------------------—--------------------—--------------------—-----------------
As Kenny was walking after his encounter with Kazuma, he came across some Eris near a large building. It was a large, extravagant building with primarily gold coloring, with the giant words "Cyrus' Crazy Casino" splattered on the top of the building in golden encrusted letters. 'Hell yeah! I've always wanted to gamble my life away!' He thought before he excitedly walked into the casino.
The inside of the casino was much bigger than he thought on the outside, with the surprise addition of various women in bunny suits. Keny immediately started to blush a little and tugged on the collar of his shirt a little before fully entering and sitting at an empty blackjack table. He pulled out the little Eris he had gathered from just picking it up off the ground and gave it to the dealer. The dealer was an older man, with a gray goatee and a tailored suit without any wrinkles. The older man didn't waste any time and dealt the cards swiftly, with him having a 6, and Kenny having only an 11. Kenny had no hesitation and said, "Hit me," and the dealer gave him a 10 of hearts, giving him an immediate 21 and therefore winning the game. Kenny's winning streak didn't stop there though, as for 5 games in a row he won, doubling his Eris every single time. The dealer didn't change his face all that much, but it was noticeable he was either confused or annoyed about how he's winning so much. But before the dealer could deal again, a tall, white woman with very large... honkers came up to him and said, "Ara ara, would you like a drink, dear customer?" while offering him a large glass full of wine. Now you can call Kenny Jacobs a lot of things, but you can't call him a man without principles...
The problem is one of his principles was doing anything a woman with a big butt, large tits, or a really cute face said, so he took the wine glass and downed it like he was a college frat bro. Unfortunately for Kenny since he had never drank before his alcohol tolerance was at a level lower than zero and immediately got a good buzz on, lowering his inhibitions.
Kenny, without concern, kept on playing blackjack, getting wins consistently, getting his Eris from 9001 to 530,000 to 30 million, all the way to 120 million Eris'. Now the casino had taken notice of this and sent more women to entice and give Kenny more alcohol, but even when completely drunk, he was still somehow winning consistently, and eventually the boss came down to try and stop Kenny's winning streak.
The boss of the casino named Cyrus was a short, portly man with a white suit and a tiger-striped tie. (Think of Nanami's suit from JJK; that's the vibe I was kind of going for.) His hair was slicked back with a sort of gel, and he held himself with a confidence that not many can attain.
He approached Kenny and congratulated him for winning so much and invited him to the poker table. Kenny, drunk out of his mind, gave a drunken hic in response and followed him to a room at the top of the casino, where only 3 other people sat with a mountain of poker chips beside each one of them.
Cyrus tried to start off slow with a bet of only 20 thousand, but Kenny steamrolled that shit and quickly got him betting 50 million, then 100 million, then 200 million, and eventually half a billion, Eris'. Meanwhile, all the other betters had left long ago, not caring about their pride like Cyrus and more concerned about their money. Kenny was still as drunk as a bottle of water in a desert and was still just tweaking, talking to himself, barely noticing Cyrus' increasing fury, and just being generally out of it. Kenny soon just decided to drunkenly go home after getting over a billion Eris'. Cyrus had tried to deploy assassins to kill Kenny after he went out as he walked home, but he somehow drunkenly stumbled and tripped enough for all of the assassins to fall over themselves and knock themselves out in the middle of the street.
Kenny finally arrived at his home and stumbled in his house and flopped on his bed, a half-full bottle still in his hands and the door unlocked. Which made a perfect opportunity for a red-haired woman to sneak inside, clean up Kenny, then get into bed and snuggle against him.