Azur Lane Cinema Room
July 4, 1942
5:00 PM
"What kind of movie are we going to watch today?" Queen Elizabeth asks in anticipation, because her last movie night was filled with horror as she watches all the war movies of these Americans.
"I heard from Essex-san, were going to watch this dude called 'Fat Electrician' runt about weapon systems? I don't know the rest." Nagato said, as she too is horrified just like the Queen at the war movie of these Americans.
"Why would he called himself a Fat Electrician? Is he that fat." Queen Elizabeth exclaimed.
"Your Majesty, ridiculing someone's body physic is inappropriate." Cruiser Belfast said.
"Nah... let her be. She will saw him later." Essex-12 said, as she prepares the video.
1
"Is he really that fat?" Cruiser Denver asks, as she and her sister were also curious about the man.
"You'll see." She said to them with a glee.
Essex-12 then quickly runs and sit to her seat, as the video about to starts. "Buckle-up ladies this is fun." She said as the projector projected the video at the cinema.
Everyone ready themselves and their popcorn to this totally unhinged video presentation.
( Link )
[All right lets talked about what might be the most famous unit on the planet, the Navy SEAL.]
"SEAL? What's up with the name?" Queen Elizabeth ask.
"Navy SEAL stands for. Sea, Air and Land. Those are the SEAL. They can be dropped from there by air, sea under or surface. And Land transport." Essex-12 said.
Edinburgh pounders. 'SEAL? I heard that word from before. But where?'
[Everyone knows that Navy SEALs are badass. Everyone know it takes a lot to be one. Everyone knows that their entry program BUDS is terrible. I'm not wasting any of my breath.]
"So, they are Elite soldiers. Interesting." Cruiser Belfast said.
"BUDS, What's that?" Takao asks, as she got curious at the name entry.
"It means 'Basic Underwater Demolition/Seal Training'." Essex-12 said to clarify the acronym.
"I see..."
[Jocko in the Background) Jesus Christ! These guys are scary.]
The Shipgirls also scream as the Fat Electrician got scared too.
[ Sorry hold on this is be the closest I ever get to this selfie with jocko.]
"Really? Taking a selfie. You almost got our heart drop from that!" Queen Elizabeth exclaimed.
"You know it's just satire, right?" Essex-12 said.
Queen Elizabeth crosses her hands and grump.
[Anyways. These guys basically have two roles. One: their force multipliers, Navy SEALs would go out and help the Army, or the Marines or the Rangers. Just having the Navy SEALs attached to you and the enemy knowing they're on the battlefield on your team. Raises the morale and scare the holy shit out of the enemies. And makes the whole thing go smoother. It's like battlefield laxative."
"What's up with all the pun jokes." Mikasa said, as she didn't get the modern humor.
"He's just over simplifying it for us to understand." Texas said, as she listens intently.
"So they're like the version of Royal Maid? I-mean they are force multiplier." Edinburgh said as she stutters.
Essex-12 cut-in. "SEALs don't wear Maid outfit, only Marines does that."
"What???" Everyone was confused.
"You'll see." She said with a grin.
[But, what make these guys really famous? If you remember in the 75th Ranger Regiment video or the Green Beret video. Every American Special Forces unit is the best in the world at something.]
Everyone agreed to that presentation.
[Army Special Forces are the guys that you sent to destabilized a country.]
Queen Elisabeth look at Cruiser Belfast and asks. "Do we have that kind of Special forces in the Armed Forces?"
Cruiser Belfast ponders. "I don't know Your Majesty, maybe the secret intelligence might know something about it."
Nagato spoke. "We also have our own, but."
Essex-12 speculates. "Let me guess... those 50 Ninjas?" Nagato nods.
[Navy SEALs on the other hand are getting rid of the boss level bad guys you see when these guys shows-up. You haven't pissed off Uncle Sam, you've probably pissed-off the American People as a whole. So now, not does Uncle Sam wants to get rid of you. He wants to everyone know he did it.]
"So... if they sent these guys on the mission. it means personal?" Enterprise-6 asks.
"Yes." Essex-12 replied.
"Understandable."
Nagato ponders. 'So its personal. Miss Enterprise sent that guy to eliminate the Militarist Faction inside the Palace, brutally.'
[You're going to be in books, you're going to be in movies. The worst part, is the guy playing you and your big Hollywood debut is just going to be an extra. He's just got to lay down and pretend to be dead.]
"Huh. Typical propaganda." Queen Elizabeth exclaimed, as she too was featured in any propaganda film as the main character.
"Your Majesty, mind your manners." Cruiser Belfast reminds her.
[And in case you're not picking-up what I'm putting down. I'm saying that if you're a penis potato, you should look-out.]
"Penis potato???"
"What the hell is he saying!" Queen Elizabeth shouted.
"Language, Your Majesty." Warspite said. As she sits right beside her.
"That's new... Penis Potato." Texas said, as she indulges with the new words she's taking in.
[That is not the right fucking word... Penile spud? No. Dick starch? No.]
"Penile spud???"
"Dick starch???"
"Is he talking about food?" Cruiser Belfast spoke, as she and the rest of the Maids are confused.
"is that even consider a food?" Takao adds to the confusion.
"Maybe a new one." Hornet said.
[Dictator? Dick-Dictator. If you're a dictator look-out.]
"All of those stupid words is only for a dictator!" Queen Elizabeth shouted, again.
[Now, it is truly hard to grasp how exceptionally badass Navy SEAL are. So let me give you a proportional example. (Tim Kennedy on the background) ahh... That one scared me too... need a new pairs of sactical underwear, before this is over.]
Takao's brows twitch at the mention of the sactical underwear. Atago noticed her facial expression.
"Ara~ Are you thinking about Lucas' underwear, when we fight him that night?"
"NANI?? Get your thoughts out of the gutter, Atago!" Takao yelled.
"Wait what?" Queen Elizabeth was surprise at that. Cruiser Belfast brief her about that night sneak attack
[Sorry, Anyways Ladies and Gentlemen this is Tim Kennedy. He is a Green Beret, Special Forces Sniper, Army Ranger. Then he decides to made a run at the 185lbs UFC MMA World Championship, got ranked. I believed in the 5 in the world.]
"He fights in tournament and faces everyone who's considered strongest in the world." Zuikaku exclaimed.
"Don't you dare start to duel Enterprise." Shoukaku warned her sister.
"I know, I know." She said as she waves off her hand at her sister.
"You should listen to your sister, or you'll be 'Rest in Pieces' if you challenge Miss Enterprise, again. I can't believe, you're still alive after that?" Essex-12 added to the embarrassment of Zuikaku.
[And as far as I can tell. Got bored beating-up the best fighters in the planet and went back into the Special Forces. I'm trying to tell you, he's a fucking badass.]
"Wait I thought he retired, is he still allowed to return?" Cruiser Belfast asks.
"U.S. Military is all volunteer force, so your still allowed to join if you want." Essex-12 said. "But, most of the young men joins the Marines instead."
"Why???"
"You'll see in the next video."
[Now why do I tell about this? Because Tim Kennedy was asked who was more badass on a live podcast. Navy SEAL or Army Special Forces?]
"If the Special Forces Group manages to destabilized a country, they would be the winner, but if the target is high profile person maybe the SEALs get the spot." Nagato said, as she watches the information.
Essex-12 applause at Nagato.
Queen Elizabeth groans, as she was jealous at Nagato for being praised by her.
[In which he replied: "everybody is best at something, but I wouldn't want to fight a Navy Seal anywhere near water, like 10 to 15 miles near the water". Now admittedly I'm not a mathematician, but.... All the earth sauce plus 15 miles deep on every coastline is like 87% of the fucking planet.]
"So everyone is not safe from the SEALs then." Queen Elisabeth muttered.
"Maybe in inland you could defeat one." Zuikaku said.
[in conclusion... if you happen to be of the baddest men on earth. You might maybe possibly consider messing with a Navy SEAL. If you're in some land lock cornfield like Iowa, or Nebraska. Which is basically Iowa, but from Wish. com.]
"So, I was right. You can defeat one in inland." Zuikaku remarked.
Edinburgh screamed, as she got everyone's attention. "Your Majesty!"
"What is it?" Queen Elisabeth ask, as she gets annoyed at her sudden out-burst.
"Your Majesty, Arizona is a SEAL!"
"What gives if he's a SEAL-Wait what?!"
Essex-12 cough to get their attention. "Guess who's stacking bodies back on Sakura Empire? Yes, that guy."
The Sakurans do remember the news of long range lobotomy from the Higher-ups of the Empire. it's not connected to them who's the person laying on the foliage making moves in the shadows.
Mikasa and Nagato seems not bother by the news, cause they have a front view of the execution of his job back at Nagato's Mansion.
~Few Moments Later~
"Alright next video." Essex-12 said as she presses the 'next' button.
( Link )
[My Drill Sgt. Told me there's only two branches of the U.S. Military. There's the Army and there's the Navy. The Air-Force is a Corporation. And the Marines is a Cult.]
"Wait what?" Yorktown was confused to what she just heard.
Essex-12 explains. The Marines had more History and Culture attached to them, than any branches of the U.S. Military."
"I-I see..." Yorktown said, as she knew nothing little about Marine history and culture.
[I don't mean that negatively, I just mean. The Marine is the only branch of the U.S. Military that has been officially asked by Peta to quit drinking Cobra blood.]
The Shipgirls mouth gapped and shock at the image of one of the Marines drinking Cobra blood.
"They did that!" the Sakurans Shipgirls exclaimed in surprise. They were known to have a warrior culture, but to see someone drink a snake blood. Is like ridiculous to them.
[yeah that actually happened.]
[There the only branch of the U.S. Military that has a phrase that goes something like. "There's no such thing is an ex-Marine, you're a Marine forever." This guys do not fuck around.]
"Interesting." This caught Takao attention with her curiosity at the warrior culture of the Marines.
Essex-12 spoke. "you want to suck a long snake?"
"Wait-what???" Takao was surprised at that sudden question.
Atago chimed-in. "I think she wants to."
"Hell no!"
[I never been through hell. But, I'm assuming it is just you to relive the day the U.S. Marines invades your country over and over again.]
"That's looks like what we did back in our exercise." Cleveland pointed out.
"Yeah, that looks like our Naval invasion exercise." Columbia also said.
[Cause these MFs roll-on roll-off on a god damn legitimate transformers. There god dam Helicopter turns into Airplanes in mid-fucking flight.]
"I'm not gonna ride that fucking plane, again!!!!!!!!!!" Queen Elizabeth yelled-out, as she saw the image of V-22 Osprey.
[There Boats turn into fucking Tanks.]
"No fucking way!" Mikasa exclaimed as she never seen an AAV in action before.
She always knew Amphibious Assault only conducted by Ships and boats. Not fucking tracked fuckery, like the AAV.
"Language, Granny." Essex-12 said, at the not amused Mikasa.
[These crazy MFs... are known for having the worst living conditions, the worst fucking budget, and the hardest training and the lowest life expectancy out of any branch of U.S. Military. Why?? because fuck you they're Marines, and they are willing to fight about it.]
The Cleveland have a flashback about their boot camp with Gunnery Sgt. Lucas, and how he treated them in that single day.
"What's-up with you guys?" Essex-9 asks, as she saw the Cleveland sister just stare at the void.
"Just remembering the good ol' fun times in the boot camp." Essex-12 said to her potato counter-part.
The Potato is not buying it, as she saw how traumatized they look.
[Seriously getting into a fire-fight with the U.S. Marines sound terrifying. It's like getting into a fire-fight in Call of Duty against a 7-year-old, that's got cheat codes and doesn't fucking never runs-out of bullets.]
"Well... in the battlefield were like bunch of annoying toddler unsupervised by their parents." Essex-12 said sarcastically.
"true."
"true."
[Let me give you an example... this right here is a MK-19. What's a MK-19 you ask? a Mk-19 is maybe the most terrifying weapon I've ever fucking seen in my life. It's a machinegun... that shoots grenades. I'm gonna say that slower, it's a fucking Machinegun that shoots god damn grenades. And these guys never left home without it. It's fucking terrifying.]
Essex-12 brought-out her MK-19 and starts cocking and shouted. "Hell yeah we do!"
The Sakuran Destroyers were traumatized by MK-19 when they tried to infiltrate the Harbor. And those who face it in the battlefield felt unease after seeing that.
[If you don't believe me. Go on YouTube watch some go-pro footage from these guys' deployments. And it's like: ohh... we got an enemy on the left. Oh where's he at? Just fucking send it, just fucking send it.]
[Bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, gadosh, gadosh, gadosh, gadosh.]
[That is anything was on the left, isn't fucking there anymore. At all, just gone]
Texas whistles. "That was violent."
"We were teached by violence since day-one." Essex-12 said.
[Like what fucking middle schooler design this fucking weapon. It's insane. And then they gave it to a bunch of guys who drink cobra blood for fun.]
"Who the hell design that.... Machine...gun... that shoots grenades?" Queen Elizabeth asks, as she was amazed at the effectiveness of the weapon.
"Just a bunch of psychopath in Pentagon." Essex-12 said, as making everyone worried at the mention of "Psychopath".
[And if you're ever gonna have a chance drinking with a bunch of marines. Do it, fucking do it. It's like trying to hurt a bunch of toddler, except all the toddlers can beat your ass.]
"To what we just see how Lucas and Essex trashed the whole place in a fist fight, that would an understatement." Yorktown said.
"Yeah... that whole place was trashed, until Laffey came turn it into ruins." Texas adds.
"Yeah...." Essex-9 said, as she felt stupid for not responding to that.
The whole Police Department let it slide, as they don't want to tango with Laffey-200 at that Bar.
[Like you go out drinking with Marines you just get talk mad shit to everybody, because they just clear out the whole fucking bar.]
"Yup, tried it myself." Texas said, as she remembers her drinking competition with Essex-12 at the bar.
"I think I won that day." Essex-12 said.
"Keep dreaming Noobie. Nobody beats me in alcohol. (Except for Laffey-200, she's a new level of animal.)" Texas said with a slight southern accent.
[Then when the cops do show-up, one of those MFs is Marine. He's gonna let you guys off.]
"I won't let that happen, this time!" Essex-9 exclaimed, as one of the Police Officers letting someone get away from their crime is punishable by the law.
"Are you sure about that?" Essex-12 interjected, as she heads butts with her counter-part.
[Yeah in conclusion. If you're a Marine thanks for your service. I love you all, and if you're not a Marine and you see some shit like this Comin-up on your beach one day. Fucking run, because you're either gonna get your ass beat, or you're gonna get dead.
"Just like what happens to the Sirens, huh?" Mikasa said, as she was updated at news at the time. (Most of them are in the newspaper)
"Yup."
"Okay next Video. This one is fun." Essex-12 said, as everyone had a high hope of this is a fun one.
( Link )
[Today we're talking about the most effective firearm of all time.]
This caught Texas attention at the sight of the Winchester model 1897 12-gauge Shotgun being shown in the screen.
[Ladies and Gentlemen, the American Grunts has had a love affair with the 12-Gauge Shotgun since WW1. Where it was issued as well, as WW2 and Korea. then Vietnam, they tried to quit making a standard issue. Because it wasn't lethal enough.]
"Wa-Why???" Texas was confused and sadden to the decision of stop issuing shotgun at the troops.
Essex-12 spoke with reassurance, as she brought-out her Benelli M4. "Don't worry that thing still being issued. See? *she raised it so Texas can see*"
Texas smiles at her.
[at which point it became a standard practice for most of the grunts to actually bring their own shotgun from homes and use it instead. Because well when the bushes start talking, you might as well hit all the bushes. At once.]
"Well, he's got right about that." Texas said, as she was amazed how it was represented.
"Why would a god damn bush can talk? I-mean it's a bush." Queen Elisabeth exclaims at the absurdity.
"Your Majesty, there something in the bush that you don't like." Essex-12 said.
Edinburgh cut-in. "Just like how we dressed-up Ghillie suits?"
"Yes."
[If you don't know what I mean, by that. I'll explain. Shotgun don't fire bullets, they shot shells, but there's a lot of different type of shell. But today, were talking about the double-up buckshot. Which is this right here.]
"I didn't know it has deferent kind of shells. I thought it uses bullets." Said by the confused Mikasa.
"Well... it just a long tube, with gun powder. So yeah, it uses shells." Essex-12 said to the confused granny.
"that's quite an oversimplification, but yes." Texas said.
[Basically nine ball bearings that when fired they go fucking everywhere. It's like having five guys with muskets fire in a general direction all at once. As you can imagine having ball bearing cannon would be extremely effective in close quarters. That is why they were issue in WW1 Was Primarily fought inside a trenches which was an extremely pathway on the ground.]
"Wait? you fought in trenches?" Mikasa asks, as she remembers the Sirens second invasion of Earth, and second Siren Human War.
"Well, yes. WW1 is mostly fought on muddy trenches and close quarters." Essex-12 respond.
[Now WW1 was also extremely brutal, because it was the first time the bad guys had ever brought thigs like flamethrower and Mustard gas to the world stage.]
"Everyone was surprised at the mention of the banned weapon.
"You have these weapons hundred years ago?!!" Queen Elizabeth exclaimed in surprise.
"How did you created this weapon hundred years ago?" Nagato ask, as the humans in this word did no develop that weapon, only the Siren to combat the humans.
Essex-12 clears her throat. "Humanity would create the most dangerous weapon imaginable to kill its enemy, be human or extra-terrestrial."
This statement gives chill to everyone in the room.
[Now it's also worth mentioning that WW1 started in 1914, but America didn't get involve until 1917. Because while the number one seed in the tournament bracket always gets bye the first round.]
"1914 where the 2nd Siren invasion of Earth and attack the former Azur Lane base in Belgium." Nagato said.
Texas adds."1917 is where the Eagle Union reach to Continental Europe, after taking care of the Siren Subs that harassed our Shipping line in the Atlantic
[Now ladies and gentlemen, this is the Winchester model 1897 12-gauge shotgun.]
Texas bears the face of 'Woman of Culture' when she saw the Winchester model 1897 12-gauge shotgun.
[and it warcrime consigliere, the model 1917 bayonet, which apparently they let fucking Danny Trjo design now.]
"Why would they attached a sword in that thing!" Queen Elizabeth screamed at the absurdity.
"Would that make it a gun sword?" Takao spoke, as she was intrigued by the choice of sword in that pipe-gun.
"I like it." Texas said with sparkles forming in her eyes and around her.
Everyone is now concerned at Texas making this Shotgun her favorite shotgun of choice.
Who would want a slow-moving Super-Dreadnought armed with Winchester model 1897 12-gauge shotgun with warcrime knife attached at the end. I would like to see it in the Ocean.
[Now this particular design shotgun is very special, because it's the only second pump action shotgun ever made. And it did not incorporate safety feature that is known as trigger disconnect. Now a trigger disconnect is what makes it so you have to pull the trigger every time you fire the shotgun.]
"Why would they issued this unsafe weapon this your troops?" Mikasa ask, as she was concerned at the unsafe part of the weapon.
"That was the special feature, Granny." Essex-12 said, as everyone is now confused they call it a feature instead of failure.
[And since this particular shotgun lacking that, you can just hold the trigger down and every time you pump it fires. Meaning you can fire all 6 shells in a matter of seconds.]
"So that's the special feature?" Texas asks.
"Nope." Essex-12 said, as she hold-off her smile. Texas have a weird suspension now, about this weapon.
[Now if you're not picking-up what I'm putting-down. I'm telling you the United States Government give a bunch of 18-year old young men that hadn't seen women in months. A gun whose only destructive capacity was limited by their ability to do this. (Proceeds to jerk-off)]
Everyone mouth gapped at that, hearing a bunch of teens who didn't see women in moth and their destructive capacity is to jerk-off.
Essex-12 stands-up and placed the buttstock between her legs and proceeds cocks that Benelli M4 like a dick.
'SO... that's the special... feature." Texas said with a curved-up lip.
"Is it for psychological use?" Mikasa asks.
"Hmm.... So all the men in the U.S. Military are efficient at using their 'Boom stick'." Atago said, as her thoughts dives deeper that you could inside a woman.
Takao help-up a fist as he brows twitches. "Atago would you stop being lewd, for once!"
Something stupid came into Enterprise-6 head and asks. "this also gives me a question. Why would let Atago tech a bunch of Kinder Garten, if she's that lewd?"
Mikasa answers her question. "Atago is good at children to the point of treating them like her own child."
"Mikasa-sempai, was right. Atago is the one taking care of the younger ones in Sakura Empire."
Enterprise-6 nods in understanding. "Okay..."
[Needless to say it was fucking effective, now the is the technique called as slam firing and when you combine it grunts with a gun than can do that. it immediately earned the name like the trench sweeper, the trench broom. this thing un-German engineered so may bad guys that they had to claim it was a warcrime to use a shotgun.]
"Damn, that's a lot of nickname for a single gun." Takao commented.
"Hah. I like them all." Texas said, as she laughs.
"If that thing is good at sweeping the area clean with guys, then yeah. It's a good name." Warspite.
[these were the same bad guy that were using flamethrower and chemical warfare. So we just keep using them at the point that bad guys started a propaganda campaign. Claiming that the Americans are barbaric and unskilled at rifle. And that's why they would use such weapon after that didn't work. They claimed that if they caught any American with a shotgun or shotgun shell, they would be executed.]
"That's quite stupid for someone who use chemical." Warspite said, as gripped the hilt of her sword.
"Stupid indeed." Queen Elizabeth muttered under her breath.
[to which the American Government basically responded with. "If".]
"Nice." Texas said with a glee.
"Knowing the Eagle Union Counter-part, then yeah. They would have said that." Nagato said.
[Now just to clarification it is not; it never has been a war crime to use a shotgun. But the is almost because aside America was on one if the bad guys won. This would almost certainly make it a war crime, because it is only a warcrime if you lose.]
"It's not a Crime you win a War." Essex-12 said.
The Sakurans frowns and groan, because they lost the war. And got most of their High-Ranks got trialed for Warcrime.
[In conclusion... if you ever go toe-to-toe with an American Grunt wielding a "warcrime stick". He's probably gonna have a look in his eyes. Like I'm here to eat beef jerky and slam fire this shotgun. And he doesn't have any beef jerky you're probably in trouble.]
"To be fair... we experienced that, so yeah. This dude is right." Nagato said, as all the Sakurans nods in agreeing to her statement.
"Okay next video... many of you saw this. So, let get to the video." Eseex-12 making everyone speculate at the next video.
( Link )
[Today we are talking about the GAU-17, more commonly referred to as a mini-gun.]
Now everyone who saw it used by Laffey-200 in the field froze. They all witness that massacre of Siren clone in the hands of a Drunk Bunny with Mini-Gun.
The Sakuran Shipgirls were confused at the frozen in fear Azur Lane Shipgirls.
"What's wrong with them?" Zuikaku asks.
"You should stay away from that topic." Enterprise-6 said to her, as she too saw it via video record.
Zuikaku is confuse to why she's afraid about that topic. "O... kay..."
[For all intents and purposes it is just an electric Gatling gun, well that Amish machine gun from the western movies the one with the hand crank, as I like to call it a butter churning to buddy stacking technology.]
Texas laughs as she's the one understands it.
"Is that the-?" Enterprise-6 asks as she hears that word before.
"Yes, that's the one I used in the kitchen to convert cream into butter." Texas said, as remember the nostalgia of cranking it.
"Do you still use it?" Essex-12 asks.
"Most of the time, machinery keeps everything faster so I used it often."
"Cool..."
[I don't know what I'm talking about you, basically turn that hand crank clockwise and bullets fly out of the end really fast.]
[Clockwise is basically the right. So needless to say, NASCAR Driver can't even shoot this thig because they only turn on the left. Team McCaughey on the other hand might be the deadliest man on the planet behind this thing, because he only goes: all right, all right, all right, all right.]
Texas and Hornet laughs harder at that joke, everyone looks at her. as they are the ones who understand the Joke.
[I'm not proud of that joke.]
"No, no... that's a good one." Texas said still laughing.
[Anyways the Gatling-Gun was invented by this guy Richard Jordan Gatling, actually a primary agricultural inventor. Invented an automatic seed planting machine for wheat. Applied the same mechanical design to a gun, and that's how we got machinegun.]
"A Farmer made that thing!" Queen Elizabeth was surprised at the info she received.
"Well... I'm not surprised a Farmer made that thing, all Eagle Union are good making their own guns at their own backyard." Texas said.
Texas also have a little workshop where she used to build or fix all of her double-barrel Shotgun.
[let me show you, this is how freedom seeds come from people. Actually where the saying comes from? Here it is now.]
Atago and the rest of the adults got the word. The others like Queen Elizabeth and Nagato puzzled at the word.
"Freedom Seed???"
"You know, you know. Your Majesty." Essex-12 said.
"Bel?" Queen Elizabeth looked-up to Cruiser Belfast. Belfast shook her head to not let the Queen's mind got tainted by these such words.
[the Gatling-Gun existed only for like, I don't know fucking seconds. Before somebody was like: let's put an electric motor on it. Seriously, they tried to put an electric motor on it. It almost immediately the scary part is. It's even back in the 1800s it had a theoretically firing rate of like 3000 rounds per minute.]
"Holy shit! That thing existed before us!" Enterprise-6 yelled in surprise.
"They shove an electric motor to it!" Zuikaku exclaimed in surprise.
[Electric motor and the mechanism worked fine. It was the actual feeding of the ammo into the gun that causes the most problem. That donut is the old magazine for it. They couldn't feed it fast enough so they kept the hand crank.]
"So its's always hungry for ammo every time it fires." Texas said, as she finds it reasonable.
"I feel sorry for the guy who's responsible of reloading that gun." Mikasa said, as she felt the pain of doing it.
"Belt feed solved that problem." Essex-12 said.
[General Electric revisited the idea and came-up with what we known today as the mini-gun. That gun is capable of shooting between 2000 to 6000 rounds per minute.]
"That many Bullets!" Everyone screamed at the amount bullets it fires.
[depending on what setting you want it on, never shot one on person. But, I like to imagine there's just knob like one off your oven that says "dead" and you can just turn it up higher.]
"So it is adjustable to the firing at your liking." Texas said.
"Yes, most of the guns were adjusted to the wielder liking." Essex-12 said.
"So, Laffey adjusted it to her liking?" Warspite asks.
"Yes, it fires a little bit slower, but faster than any other Machinegun."
Warspite nods slowly. "Okay."
[My SWIC video we brought up how they have two GAU-17s on their boats. Whole video on SWIC you can watch it. Later but for right now, if you don't know what they are. Just think of them as like "Freedom Pirates".]
"Freedom Pirates???"
"Just a name given to them." Essex-12 said to them with a voice of reassurance.
[Anyways on their boat they have two GAU-17s a .50 cal. and then either two 240s or two MK-19 or one each, perfectly reasonable.]
Every gasped at the absurd load-out the boat.
"That's quite loaded for a small size." Texas commented.
Essex-12 spoke. Three Rule of fire-fight. One: bring boats with guns. Two: bring Friends with their own guns. Three: proceeds to spread Freedom and Democracy."
The Eagle Union Shipgirls nodded in agreement with her. the Sakuran and Royal Navy Shipgirl were concerned about that "'spreading Freedom and Democracy'.
[Question was asked. Why not just have all GAU-17s? I'm just gonna level with you.]
Everyone listen intently and nods.
[It's because they're a logistical fucking nightmare. Most machineguns mechanism are operated by either the recoil of the gun, gas pressure from the firing the ammunition. The mini-gun is operated with electric motor; you need fucking electricity. which isn't always readily available in a warzone.]
"Logistics is the main reason, why it was rare to see this in action?" Yorktown asks.
"Yes. We only mounted it to any aerial vehicle for quick firing." Essex-12 said.
[That's problem number one. problem number two: is the sheer amount of ammunition required. For example, this thing shoots 762 NATO which approximately 25.4 grams per round. I'm allowed to acknowledge. I understand how grams' work, because this America and now exclusively use them for illegal drugs.]
"What???"
"Is he dissing the Metric System?" Queen Elizabeth ask, as her right eyebrow raised.
"We're Americans, we will use any kind of measurement, except Metric." Essex-12 proudly said.
Everyone in the room could not argue with that.
[My country's flag on the moon, so I'm gonna go ahead and dos some rounding convert it over to pounds and multiply it by 6000 for 6000 rounds per minutes total of 330 pounds of ammunition in a single fornication proceeding... fucking minutes, sorry.]
Everyone is silent with that.
[Tell you this thing can plant 5 and a half pounds of freedom seeds in a single second. Let me tell you that if this man gets upset at you for literally any amount of time. Your new job is gonna be working on a nativity scene, as the holy Spirit. Very, very holy spirt.]
"And that's the reason why the whole Police Department are afraid of arresting Laffey." Enteprise-6 said.
"Yeah..." Essex-9 said in defeated tone, as she looked down.
Essex-12 spoke to insult her counter-part even more. "You really hate working on a nativity scene, Huh?"
Essex-9 clinch a fist. "Why you." These two potato is about to go, But Enterprise-6 intervened. "Enough! Both of you!"
The two potato sit at their seat and grump.
[I don't know if you can make a spirit even more aerodynamic. But, if anybody can. It's going to be that guy.]
"I don't Richelieu would like that word being used in such ways." Yorktown said.
"I can agree to that." Mikasa said as she still having hard time understanding modern humor.
[In conclusion due to the sheer logistics of this weapon. We typically only see it in Special Operation Groups whose job is to get-in gain fire superiority get their guys and get-out as fast as possible. It's like the Army's 16Oth, the Navy's SWIC.]
The lesson on this is.... Don't fuck with Laffey-200.
"Alright, let's go with planes." Essex-12 said clicking the next video.
( Link )
[today we're talking about Fatal Bingo]
"Are we reacting to a video talking about 'Bingo', cause I don't have a time for such gambling." Queen Elizabeth.
"Huh, sounds about right coming from you." Nagato said sound incredulous.
"I play chees and shogi, and that's not even gambling!" she roared.
[ladies and gentlemen if you don't know America only utilizes three types of strategic bombers and we've already talked about the world's spiciest Dorito, the B-2 Spirit.]
The Shipgirls eyes widened at the image of the B-2 Spirit Stealth Bomber.
"That looks like Horton Ho-229 to me." Queen Elizabeth exclaimed.
Warspite added. "Yes, the design was similar."
"It seems Iron Blood is advancing their bomber design." Nagato quipped.
"Seems like it." Mikasa added.
[and the 70-year-old veteran of the sky the B-52 Buff aka Buffy the forehead slayer]
"Buffy???"
Essex-12 explained. "Buff mean Big, Ugly, Fat, F – you know the word."
"God gracious, who would name a bomber like that!" Queen Elizabeth bellowed.
"Maybe the enemies?" Nagato mused.
"It was the crews, they gave it that caused it always crashed, hard to maintain, and the exhaust fumes from the engine was deadly." Essex-12 explained.
"Guess it was fitting, then."
"But now, the BUFF had a new meaning. Big, Ugly, Fat, Fella. It was the cheapest bomber we had." Essex-12 said.
[and based on the poll I conducted this week this is probably gonna be pretty controversial but I think I've saved the best for last okay maybe best isn't the right word]
"Yeah, right." Queen Elizabeth said with a raised brow.
"By the looks of the chart, it was in the unfavorable side of the pole." Warspite said.
"Guess the other two bombers did make an imprint of fascination than the other." Nagato said.
[but it's definitely my personal favorite ladies and gentlemen the b1 lancer aka the bone, really see what they did there. B-one - bone, bone get it?]
Texas and Mikasa held their chuckles as they knew the what the Fat Electron was trying to imply.
"What???" Queen Elizabeth's voice boomed as she's too late relay the joke into her common sense. "Are they serious about the names of their bomber!"
"Maybe a coincidence?" Nagato inquired.
"A million-dollar plane named like that? not surprise with you Americans." Enterprise-6 said, knowing things could get worse from there.
"Oh, this is only the beginning." Essex-12 grinned. Essex-9 noticed and prepared for the worse.
[moving on so why is it my personal favorite, well for starters it was the only one that was nerfed with an international treaty. The B-1 was originally designed and capable of delivering nuclear warheads, but the strategic arms reduction treaty of 1991 specifically required that the B-1 only be capable of delivering conventional warheads]
"So is that the reason why it was gone out of favor than the two?" Zuikaku inquired at the reduction of the capability.
"The limitation was place cause the threat of the cold war was declining, and the US Military requirement change that time." Essex-12 explains. "So more conventional that summoning the sun."
[So why was the enemy so scared of the bone? Well because it was the fastest bomber that America had and the only one capable of achieving supersonic flight traveling at a max speed of mach 1.2 it also had the highest payload capacity of any other American bomber]
"That's a fighter interceptor – not a bomber!" Zuikaku boomed.
"I'm with you at that. that capability was quite excessive for a bomber." Enterprise-6 agreed assessment.
"Maybe the speed meant avoiding enemy AA-Guns?" Mikasa inquired.
"Probable." They all agreed to that.
[I'm trying to tell you that the bone can carry more warheads than the B-52, and it can do it while traveling faster than the speed of sound. Believe me, I know that sounds insane - and I had to triple check it myself but yes the bone can carry more bad guy to bologna miss technology than the B-52. 5000-pounds more to be exact this aircraft is literally nothing but horsepower and gunpowder]
"That's a lot of bombs for one plane can carry." Queen Elizabeth said.
"That amount of bomb can level a city." Warspite added.
[and if that wasn't enough cool guy points it's also the only bomber that has a variable swept wing configuration which is just a bunch of fancy words that means it can extend its wings out to generate more lift when taking off and landing or it can retract its wings when traveling at a supersonic speed to
reduce drag]
"It can do that???!!!" Their voices echoed at the theater.
"Quite a genius design I must say." Shoukaku said amazed at the sweptwing design.
"It's like a bird with it wings folding." Mutsu said.
"That was from the 80's 40 years from now, and 60 years from your world. what we were looking at was antique in your standards." Yorktown said being observant.
"Yes. When it goes out of production it was marvel, even till 2040s. The B-1 mark its name at the history of aviation along with the other sweptwing legends." Essex-12 said.
[I'm trying to tell you that the B-1 can put the most warheads on the most foreheads the fastest and it's basically a fucking transformer]
*Transformers clip show: B-1 dropping bombs on operation fire storm*
"It is a transformer." A collective voice said.
[this aircraft is quite literally the polar opposite of bob ross ready to un-paint a happy little mountain at a moment's notice believe it or not the b-1 was actually originally designed to replace the B-52 essentially they wanted a plane that could carry just as many bombs as the B-52 but travel much faster and specialize in low-level penetration, yes the plane referred to as the bone has extendable wings and specializes in low level penetration]
"What???" that left Queen Elizabeth to ponders.
"I know what you did there. 'B-one low level penetration', classic adult joke." Texas said.
The innocent minds not were tainted at the image of B-one with wing and low level penetration.
"The delivery of the joke, was palpable." Mikasa said.
[originally this plane was actually a scrapped project deemed too expensive and a waste of taxpayers' dollars the only reason it was brought back. Is because the B-2 stealth project was taking too long, and Uncle Sam figured - if you can't be sneaky you might as well be fast not getting caught is not getting caught.]
"So this plane was too expensive from the start and was shelve, now the new bomber was far more expensive and took long. How much money did you spent on this?" Queen Elizabeth was now losing her sanity at the American money dumb.
"I believe it's a hundred million in 80s dollar, not a historian, can't know the exact numbers." Essex-12 said.
[it doesn't matter how you do it and with over 12 000 combat missions flown since 2001. I'm pretty sure it's safe to say that was a good idea, unfortunately the B1 is slotted for retirement in the coming years pending the release of America's new bomber the B-21 Raider which is basically the B-2 2.0]
"Great, another weird looking plane." Queen Elizabeth said not amused. "How much this one cost?"
"That would be 800 million dollars a price, per airframe." Essex-12 casually said.
All the Azur Lane Shipgirls turn their head into her, 800 million in the 1940 can buy you a country and palace at that point.
"You serious right?" Sweat drops on Queen Elizabeth's fore along with Nagato.
"Were not even in the price tag of each B-2, yet." She replied with a smug.
[which raises the question what would the B-1 2.0 look like well we don't have to wonder because that concept was already proposed in 2004. now the prototype of the B-1 was known as the B-1A. The production model that we just talked about was known as the B-1B? What do you think the next variant would be named did you guess the B-1C?]
"That would be B-1C, of course. It's in the alphabetical order." Queen Elizabeth defiantly said.
"My guess is that... B-1.2, it was evident that the number would increase.
"That should be B-2, wait they already had one...." Mutsu tried to guess.
"I forgo with her Majesty's assumption. And based on our counterpart's planes, B-1C would be the correct answer." Enterprise-6 said.
'Something amiss on this one." Yorktown murmured in suspicion of the name being implied.
[because you would be wrong apparently the E4 Mafia got a hold of this concept and decided to convince their chain of command to skip a couple of letters because this concept aircraft is named the B-1 Regional, or the B-1R]
Everyone eyes widened in shock.
[for short. Yes, they named it, the Boner]
Some of the Maids fainted in total shock, the adults were now red as ripped tomatoes. Texas laughed louder at the choice of letter for the plane with low level penetration.
Yorktown held her forehead that now red from embarrassment. "I should have known."
Queen Elizabeth and Nagato both incapacitated, their wager didn't get the price. Instead they get the B-1R.
Both Cruiser Belfast and Warspite tended at the at the knocked-out Queen Elisabeth. Mutsu and Mikasa along with Takao take care knocked Nagato.
[I've never been more proud of the air-force in my entire life. And while it is just a concept, allegedly. The freedom boner would specialize in low level penetration and travel at a max speed of mach 2.2]
"They skip a few litters!" Essex-9 said eyes rolling.
"A PR stunt for the air-force for sure." Essex-12 said, resting her feet at the nearby armchair.
"it really is a PR stunt." Enterprise-6 said brows twitching.
[It would also be equal to the plethora of air-to-air defenses which would make it very hard to deal with in conclusion as much as I don't want it to be true the B-1 is slotted for retirement and will probably never grow and mature to be the full-blown freedom boner]
"And thank god it's not." A cacophony of agreement from the Shipgirls echoed.
[That it could be there's always hope that the B-21 Raider Project will take too long, and Uncle Sam will get impatient and then maybe just maybe the B-1R will become a reality]
[Quote: don't act like you're not impressed]
"Were not impressed." Takao said with disdain.
"I was though." Atago said, enjoying the jokes.
"It seems the word that Mr. Fat Electrician had used would come in consequences of the Queen's mental state." Cruiser Belfast said.
[to quote Bob Ross: there are no mistakes just happy accidents]
"Well, that's quite a deliberate incident." Texas said with a smirk.
"A FUN deliberate incident." Essex-12 said.
-I hope you like it-