Wander had … a lot to process. But luckily, it was just an illusion meant to hurt him, so he could shove it down for later and help Sylvia at the moment. "I was never redeemed." She cried. "I kept getting worse and worse .."
"I'm not good enough to be a full time hero.." Penn laid down on the side and groaned in misery. "I only do half the job for real heroes…my life is meaningless without that…"
"He just … wouldn't stop." Phineas and Ferb were hugging each other tightly. "Why wouldn't he stop …?"
"Kikikiki." They both flinch at Perry for some reason.
"Everyone's dead…everyone's dead…I need to get away from everyone…" KO hid himself underneath a rock. "I can't let myself go loose again, not ever again."
"My magic is volatile." Gwen said as she was in her own corner. "I have too much power built up, I'll radiate anyone I touch."
"We're going to blow up just like Bunny did." Bubbles cried as her sisters all hugged each other. "We're going to blow up into a million bits and Him's going to take over the world."
"Bro, I love you man!" Jake (the dog) cried out as he hugged Finn. "I'm sorry I grew so large I destroyed the world!"
"I'm sorry I let an alternate me stab you man!" Finn shouted as he hugged right back.
The other desperately clingy sibling duo was Star and Steven, who upon seeing each other hadn't let go at all. "You're alive. You're alive. You weren't a fantasy." Star muttered in a mantra. "It's real. Please let it be real. Don't let this be a fantasy."
"I'm me. I'm me. I've always been me." Steven looked like he was squeezing the breath out of his sister. "I have to be me, I need to be me, I can't be anyone else but me…"
"Is this actually real…Is this life?" Luz looked around questioningly. "Is this another fake memory, is this just another cruel reality to torment me for the next thousand years."
"I don't know, and I don't care!" Anne ran up and hugged the girl. "I don't want to be alone, don't leave me alone, please don't leave me alone!"
The most subdued of all were Dipper and Mabel, who looked completely unphased by everything, and Marco, who was simply laying down on the ground, staring up at the sky with a distant look. "I'm dead and this is simply a hallucination … may as well roll with it."
"Eh, I've seen the afterlife, it weirdly looks less bleak than all of this." Oh, Molly was unphased for the most part as well. "Boop." She pressed a finger on Marco's head, and that made him look slightly less distant. "I'm still infectiously joyful in this form, to both the living and nonliving."
"So is anyone still okay to talk?" Dipper asked.
"I can spare some words." Number One got up, wobbly. "It was mainly just reality without kids … I've been in one of those before." He shook his head, looking like he was forcing himself. "What do we know?"
"Well the last thing I remember was a bright flash of light." Mabel pondered out loud. "But I can't remember what caused it."
"I do." Wander raised his hand as he shook his head. "We were all looking up at the sky to enjoy the sight of the Double Eclipse, still lovely by all accounts." He reassured them. "Then something went a little funky with the nexus, causing everyone's power to go all haywire."
"Riiiight." Dipper nodded. "So the nexus went wild, probably overloaded, and theoretically opened a massive portal to … this place." They looked around the staticy location with random objects. "Hey Huey, are you okay to talk?"
"Just … just a moment." The red duck said as he hugged his brothers. "It's nice to … not fight to the death for a moment."
"I'm not alone, I'm not alone, I'm not alone, I'm not alone.." Dewey repeated to himself over and over again.
"Okay…time to analyze." Huey shook his head and got out a notepad. "Okay, first things first, is everyone's powers working now?"
"I…I can check." Chat Noir hesitantly turned to a lovely looking colorful van with a peace logo on it before pressing his hand on it. "Cataclysm." The van instantly turned to dust. "I'm back in full control of it."
"Well that's one thing in our favor." The red duck noted, trying to write it down while hugging his brother. "What would you say the weirdest thing about this universe is?"
"Probably that everything here is junk." Mabel said. "The mullet, an old timey radio … although there was a freezer full of cookie cats."
"THERE'S WHAT!?" That got Steven out of his funk as he, while still holding onto Star, sped to Mabel. "Where are they?!"
"Right next to the helicopter with the ejector seat."
"Come on Star, we're going into a sugar coma to forget whatever the hell we just saw."
"But was that real or is this real … what is real?" Star kept muttering to herself. "What is life but our perspective on the world around us? Is it possible to live a more real life in a fake reality than in what most consider the real world? Are we not just the sum of the collected thoughts of others who control our actions and words on a whim?"
"As long as there's ice cream there, I don't care." Steven turned to his girlfriend. "Kelly, you want in on this?" The boy asked.
"No … no i'll just drain you dry if I touch you." She said, buried deep inside her hair. "After all, I am a parasite. I take happiness from others because my own life sucks."
That got the boy to finally take notice of his surroundings, taking in the state of everyone around him, and how … detached for lack of better words, they were with the world themselves. "We're in some sort of nightmare dimension, aren't we?"
"That's what we've been rolling with for the past ten minutes." Dipper explained. "Everyone got placed in nightmare bubbles that were designed to bring out your worst fears."
Marco sat up with a curious look. "Were those bubbles floating around anywhere else when you searched the area?"
"No, just us." Mabel answered.
"Then wouldn't that mean something placed us inside of them intentionally instead of this being an accident?" Diaz asked with a concerned gaze around the area.
"Ding ding ding, we have a winner!" A new voice shouted out. "Let's tell him what he's won!"
"Wait, I thought you said we were.." Wander tried to ask, before the unmistakable sound of a laser firing went off. "LOOK OUT!" He shoved Marco out of the way as something made the ground get scorched and burned.
"Complete annihilation!" Everyone that was out of it before shook their heads and looked up, seeing a purple skinned figure flying above them, clad in black with Red X's all across his body. "Howdy, Heroes. And GOODBYE!" Well at least he had manners.
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Ferb had many things he wanted to process and cope with. But seeing his family in danger right now, he took a page out of Steven's book and decided to bottle it down for later. "Who are you?" He asked with a glare.
"The name's Strike. I'm a hero hunter." The purple man explained. "At first it was a hobby, you know, making statues for trophies and stuff. But it turned out that a surprisingly large number actually wanted to pay me to do it. So I'm a professional now." He laughed as he twirled around a large pen looking device. "Travel the multiverse, strike out whoever's bounty I have, rinse, repeat."
"That seems pretty basic." Luz raised an eyebrow.
"What the, it's not basic!" He shouted. "I have a body count of over a thousand!"
"So did most of our guys, and that's discounting the immortal ones." Anne added on. "There's no personal attachment, no motivation other than money, do you know how many bounty hunters we've faced by this point already?"
"Well guess what, I'm not just any old bounty hunter. I travel the multiverse and pick up every trick in the book." They taunted with a growl. "Magic, technology, everything! Isn't that right?" The pen moved with a nod.
"Wait, I'm confused. Is the pen a weapon, or a person?" KO asked.
"Well at first it was just a basic AI, but I got this robot chick's data absorbed, and it started to develop a personality." Strike looked at the pen. "I think it might be a tad bloodthirsty."
"Wouldn't be the first AI we've ever faced." Number one sighed. "You said we have bounties, who would put those on all of us, and do it all at the same time."
"Oh, he'd like to keep himself anonymous for the moment, he's a bit of a showman." Strike laughed. "And that depends on whether or not you live long enough for him to reveal his master plan."
An explosion of raw energy came from the Butterfly duo, pink flames ripping off their body. "You're going to tell us everything." Star said slowly. "And I'm going to decide how close to death you are based on how cooperative you are."
"Oh sweetheart, you're not the first violent hero I've ever faced, and you won't be the last." Strike ducked out of the way of a flaming rainbow fist as he caught Steven's fist and threw him overhead. "Heck you're not even the first versions of yourselves I've ever fought, though admittedly, most of the time you people are much younger and not so…cluttered together."
"So you admit you're outnumbered." Kelly pulled out her sword, anger blazing in her eyes. "Good, it means I get a few licks in against your spine."
"Puh-lease, unless you can slice pure air, you won't get so much as a scratch on me." Strike laughed as he avoided Kelly.
"Then how about a bigger sword?!" Rex transformed his arm and brought it down on the villain.
They stared at the sword in confusion as he grabbed the blade, being slightly pushed back, before using leverage to grab and swing the boy around. "Wait, I thought he just talked to machines … ah dang it, that's an addition I would have loved to scan for."
"How about you scan my foot in your face!?" Finn launched himself and kicked the villain right in the head.
The foot was met with a headbut that sent him flying straight back to the ground. "Come on, you're supposed to be the smart fighter. I haven't even started collecting yet." They groaned. "This is the most boring hunt of all time."
"Oh, sorry we couldn't make running around like a bunch of animals fun for you, how RUDE of us!" Ladybug shouted sarcastically as she wrapped her yo-yo around him and threw him right into the Powerpuffs. "Give him all you got, girls!"
"THIS IS FOR EVERYTHING YOU SHOWED US!" They began flying at light speed, punching him around like a pinball before launching him into a wall.
He groaned as he got out. "That was nothing personal. I just needed to keep you in one place."
"Was that torture really some convoluted waste of time to keep us out of the way!?" Marco asked with a growl.
"No, it was just to buy time and study you all, so I could do stuff like this!" They aimed their pen, firing it straight at Ben … who seemed completely fine.
"Was that really the best you could do?" The kid asked with a smirk, raising his hand to slam down on his … empty hand. "What the …"
"Are you looking for this?" Strike aimed the pen at his own arm, a red blast generating … the Omnitrix. "The real hard part was calibrating it to work on Steven's Diamond and Star's Magic …" The hunter gave a savage grin as he aimed it at them. "So do you wanna start running now or …"
"EVERYONE SCATTER!" Phineas yelled out to everyone. "Try to form into groups! He can't follow all of us at the same time!"
"Finally, now we're getting somewhere!" They pressed some buttons on the pen, multiple red animals forming into existence. "Traps, chases, mental prowess! This is a real hunt bitches!"
"Oh just shut up!" Steven threw his shield with the intent to hit Strike … which the pen erased as well. "Like that was the only one I could.." Steven lifted his arm again to summon the shield…only to get nothing. "What?"
"That's how this little baby works!" Strike cuddled with the pen, ew. "Every single power you throw at it, the pen will absorb! Every skill you strike me with, I will obtain! How the hell did you think I got strong enough to take punches from the power puff girls!?" He yelled as he fired the pen on the ground, creating multiple red and fiery looking animals. "And with this pen's own power, there's no force in the universe that'll ever stop me!"
"So you steal the powers of others cause you're too basic to train up!?" Luz shouted from somewhere.
"..." The hunter turned to the red wolf he made. "Make it slow."
The wolf began to pounce, running up and threatening to jump on him. "Ferb, no!" Phineas called out, and he braced for the worst..
"Krkrkrkr!" Perry jumped into it's side and headbutted it in the other direction
"Wait, what?" He looked as their pet Platypus grabbed their hands and dragged them with the group. "Since when did Platypuses do much?!"
========================================================================
KO panted as they ran, not wanting to get hit with that power absorption beam … also there was a red eagle trying to poke their eyes out, but that was somewhat simpler to deal with. "Okay roll call, who's with me!?" He yelled as he punched the eagle right in the face!
"Right beside you, little dude!" Star called out as she blasted a red hippo. "Molly and Gwen are just right behind us!"
"Aha, you can't touch me, but I can punch you!" The orange ghost girl gleefully cheered as she slapped a lion across the face. "AHA! I've always wanted to hit a predator right in the nose! Who's the apex now!?"
"If we stop running, it's going to be Strike!" Gwen formed a shield above her head to keep away a bunch of crows attempting to pech at her face.
KO growled. "Talk about a jerk." Trapping them all in their own worst nightmares like that, how disgusting. "He did this for fun at the start, it's horrible."
"Yeah yeah, we can rant about how we're going to disembowel him later." Star said as she blasted the eagle. "We need to hide."
"How about inside of the twin towers?" Molly pointed out, only for her and Gwen to wince. "Oooh, you know what, that feels kind of wrong."
"Yeah, if this place is for everything that doesn't belong…" Gwen looked away. "Feels too soon."
"Is there something I'm missing?" KO asked.
"Maybe when you're older." Star pushed him along.
"Come on, I'm old enough! I'm 12-16 now!"
"Wait, does he not know his own age?" Molly asked.
"It's a whole relative thing, just roll with it." Gwen shoved the ghost inside of the building, staying quiet as the animals ran past them. "Yeesh, this guy's relentless. All this for a couple of bucks?"
"I'm pretty sure we're all familiar with how money makes people go stupid." Star rolled her eyes as they walked around. "Also, remember, he did this before he got paid, guy was already a psycho."
"So what now?" KO asked. "We can't overpower him, and we can't run cause we don't know where we are."
"Oh, you're in the void." … They all turned to the talking blue cat playing cards with a fish with legs. "And I believe that gives me jenga."
"No wonder the game ended up here, the rules make no sense." The fish complained. "Oh, hey there new friends."
"Hey there new friends." Molly waved almost instantly. "I'm Molly, I'm a ghost. That's Gwen, she's half alien. That's Star, she's a magical girl from the moon, and that's KO, he's an adorable hero in training."
The cat gave him a look. "Six out of ten for adorable. Maybe seven on a good day." Yay, over half! "Well, I'm Gumball and this is Darwin."
"You took that surprisingly well." Gwen raised an eyebrow.
"Girl, I'm a fish that spontaneously grew lungs and legs from brotherly love, that doesn't even scratch the service from everything that's weird about this picture." The fish waved off. "Heck, my girlfriend's a ghost, so you look pretty tame on the strangeness scale in elemore."
"Cool, nice to meet other people more casual about it for a change." Star chuckled. "So, the void?"
"Right right." The cat boy nodded. "It was created out of the gap between the fourth wall and the 'real world'. Anything that the universe, or executive producers, view as a mistake ends up here."
"Wait, what do you mean by real world?" Star asked, and KO got an uneasy familiar feeling about this.
"Trust me, there are some things the mortal mind was not meant to know." He waved off. "Point is that this is a one way trip, so enjoy it while you can." The boy sighed. "Our universe got canceled, we're the only one's left in here."
"Wait, but our universes didn't." KO stepped. "We were trapped here by some jerk bounty hunter."
"In that case you can probably escape if you figure out how to open a portal." The fish said, placing down some cards "Tripogen."
"One thing to note is that you shouldn't use anything here." The cat said. "Literally everything here is a terrible idea." He pointed to everything around. "The spring shoes, blimps, Sonic 06, black licorice, hawaiian pizza, New Jersey, most Seth Mcfarlene shows, Cartoon Network, Disney, and Nickelodeon executives, the spongebob ice pop, Total Dramarama, teen titans go..heck, you can see that last one for yourselves." He pointed over to statues that had fleshy heads attached to them.
"I told you guys we needed a plan." The guy with the mask complained. "But noooo, you had to think waffles were the solution!"
"It worked once, it could've worked again!" The green goblin looking guy complained.
"Wait, why are only their heads still moving?" Molly asked.
"Oh, some guy named Strike turned us to stone, we're only safe because I put a last minute spell on us." A girl with a black cloak said. "He did it to those guys too." She gestured to … the stone army.
"All of these are heroes he faced?" KO looked at what appeared to be a warrior with a sword and a white robe.
"All tried to fight greatly, and with little success." The girl with red hair sighed. "He is just the too powerful."
"Heck, he took out the grim reaper!" The cyborg extended his eye to a frozen skeleton. "He beat up death!"
"Pfft, I killed my universe's version of death! Literally killed him with kindness!" Molly shouted gleefully."
"Yeah." KO smiled. "As long as we stick together, nothing can stop us!"
"That's what the guy with the purple hat said." Gumball pointed to another boy who was frozen. "Can't tell what animal he is …"
"Look, I don't really consider myself a hero. First I was just a girl who wanted to have fun, then I was an ambassador for peace, and now I'm a teacher." Star explained with a huff. "But through all of that, the one thing I was, am, and always will be is someone who will break the universe to keep my brother safe. I'm not going to let some jackass bounty hunter take that all away from me."
"And we're not backing down just because he can take out powers." Gwen cracked her knuckles. "We never needed them to begin with."
"Wow, so that's what real heroes sound like." The green goblin guy looked at them with big eyes full of wonder. "I wish I knew what that was like."
"Yeah …" The masked boy sighed. "But we'll get there one day Titans, as soon as we escape this realm and get back on the network!"
"Hey, everyone can be a hero if you put the effort in." KO smiled and patted them on the stone back.
"Well, we do need all the help we can get." Star waved her hands. "Let's see if I can do this. Sunshine stone skin shedding!" A blast of sunlight spread over them, cracks forming across their bodies until actual skin and color was revealed.
"Boo ya!" The robot guy shouted, turning his arm into a cannon. "Lets go beat up that Strike guy the only way we know how!"
"Through the annoying antics that would get normal people killed in any other situation?" The orange skinned redhead girl asked out loud.
"Sadly yes, but why fix what isn't broken?" The masked kid relented.
"Cool." The cat nodded. "Can you at least not drag us into it? I've been turned to stone before, and I'd really not like to have that again. I tasted granite for weeks." They shivered.
"Hey, if they win and escape, can't we do the same?" The fish asked with a raised eyebrow.
"... Fair point, we're in."
"Great, just got to catch everyone else up to speed here." Star aimed her hands at the rest of the statues. "And here I thought the war on Mewni was the biggest event we would've been a part of."
"Wait, those guys look familiar." KO pointed to a group of statues, some that looked like the powerpuff girls with wider eyes, one looked like a weird chibi version of Ben, and another looked like these hero guys, but taller and more detailed.
"Yeah, some of us were placed here before Strike started striking out heroes, us included." The cloaked girl sighed.
"Well it doesn't matter." KO said firmly. "If you're willing to stand up and fight, then you are heroes!"
"…That's the first time anyone ever believed we had any value to the universe." The orange skinned girl cried as she picked him up and gave him a super tight squeeze. "Thank you adorable little boy!"
"I've heard of low self esteem, but I think these guys take the cake." Molly muttered from the side.
========================================================================
Ladybug closed the door as she waited for the giant flaming insect to fly by. "Chased by a giant red ladybug … I do not appreciate the irony, multiverse." She growled. "Alright, roll call, who do we have?"
"Barely alive but breathing Steven here." Steven raised his hand.
"Practically cooked but still thinking Huey here." Huey gasped as his soot covered face fell to the ground.
"Traumatized for life again Luz here." The witch girl groaned as she laid on her back.
"Annoyed, confused, but content Phineas present." The triangle boy raised a hand as he sent a look at the now bipedal walking Perry.
"Ferb as well." The other boy nodded, also staring at the creature with confusion. "Please don't tell me you're a cyborg aiming to kill us."
They shook their head, pulled out a pamphlet of all things and handed it over. "So you discovered your pet is a secret agen-I don't want your pamphlet!" A rare time to see Phineas of all people angry.
"Might want to read it, we need all the clarity we can get." Huey picked up said object. "Lets see … secret agent training, selected to live in calming and unsuspecting environments …" They sent the pet a look as it shrugged. "Takes on any threats to the world with a favor system instead of a budget … the organization's name is Owca … the organization without a cool acronym?"
"So the government couldn't come up with a better name than that?" Luz scoffed.
The duck turned to the back. "Ah, bold print. When discovered, the agent is normally sent away to keep their identity secret, never to see the host family again. But due to the recent copy of Dr Doofenshmirtz's 'amnesia inator', you can opt to forget the discovery and live with them once more."
"Vannessa's dad?" Phineas looked at his pet. "The government has you fighting an old pharmacist?"
"Krkrkrkr." Perry responded with a 'so so' motion. She was having a conversation with a secret agent platypus … she needed to reevaluate her life at some point.
"Okay, as excited as I am about there being a crime fighting platypus, we really needed to get back on track." Steven announced. "The secret trio can only keep Strike busy for so long."
"Who now?" Ladybug asked.
"It's what Chat Noir, The Ninja, and Dragon Jake call themselves, you know, publicly hidden identities and all." Luz clarified. Ladybug would ask why she wasn't included in that herself. "So what do we actually do? He just steals superpowers of anyone he fights, and he took Finn's foot to the face."
"Right, he took Ben's Omnitrix, so he already has one of the big tide turning weapons on him." Ladybug turned to Steven. "He hit you too, right?"
"He blasted my shield, now I can't make that or my bubbles." Steven sighed as he glowed pink. "I still have my pink state, floating, and healing though, so I guess he steals powers one at a time."
"So what happens if he hit your gem?" Luz asked.
"Well … last time that happened I nearly died from body failure …" He trailed off. "But I feel if he steals Chat Noir and Ladybug's miraculouses it'll be worse."
"No kidding. With both Tiki and Plagg, he could have any wish he wanted, and he'd erase the entire universe if he used it." Ladybug clarified the bad news. "There'd be no telling what would be left or who'd be alive in the new reality."
"So keep him away from your miraculous's, the cataclysm, and any lucky charms you create." Phineas noted as Huey wrote everything down.
"You have your communicator right?" Ferb asked. "Can you get an update."
"Right." She turned it on. "Chat, how's it going."
"My lady, I love hearing your voice so caring right now more than you realize, but now is NOT THE FUCKING TIME! It's taking everything to dodge and OW! Bear trap! Why do you need sixteen bear traps!?"
"Chat, he steals whatever powers available! Keep him away from your ring and don't use your cataclysm!" She warned.
"I felt the stealing of the Omnitrix and Steven's shield was a good indicator of that. Luckily it looks like that pen has a tough time with Ninja smoke bombs. Why was I gifted with super smell?"
The line went dead. "He'll be fine. Wasn't the first time we dodged lasers." She waved off. "I feel we're in a desperate enough situation." She raised her Yo-yo high. "Lucky charm!"
The light flashed, the area glowed all over the place, and coming down on her arms was…"A cell phone?" Luz raised an eyebrow. "Didn't you just make a phone call with your yo-yo?"
"There's always more than meets the eye with the lucky charm. If I have a cell phone, then there's something else I have to do with it." She looked around the area, noticing a lot of the equipment was pretty old and outdated. She then turned to the two mechanical brainiacs of the group, the ones that could fit an entire amusement park in their own backyard. "Think you can do something with this?"
Phineas looked around. "Well, it'll be a close call, but maybe we could put up an EMP of some sort." He wondered, before grinning. "Ferb, I know what we're going to do today!" Those were the magic words that gave everyone a grin. "The rest of you hold him off while … wait a second." He paused, turning to Perry. "Have you been able to change your own litter box!?"
The Platypus stared at him, before pulling out a grappling hook, zooming away. "Well, that explains why Lion always acts weird around him at least." Steven chuckled as they heard some ka-booms in the distance. "And I thought dealing with Volleyball would be the most emotionally exhausting experience I'd would've dealt with this month. Nope, sucked into a nightmare dimension just had to happen one hour later."
"Hey, it could be worse." Luz shrugged. "You could be dealing with it all by yourself."
"True …" He cracked his back. "Alright then, let's go hold him off and-wait." He paused. "Do glyphs work here? I remember you said they just burnt up when you went in between dimensions."
"Only one way to find out." Luz drew on a pad of paper, and a ball of light came out of it….before shaking and forming into a small explosion that covered her face in soot. "Unstable but usable, there must be too much mystical energy in the area for the glyphs to process."
"Well just stay back and get anyone injured to safety." Ladybug told her, before running out. "Let's show Strike that heroes won't back down!"
"Gotta admit, I never really considered myself a hero, but I like the sound of it!" Steven smiled as he glowed pink and rushed out. "Rest of you guys stay safe, we'll buy you enough time to get your gizmo running!"
"Copy." Phineas nodded before pulling out the cell phone's battery. "And after today's over, we're gonna find a way to keep our memories intact."
========================================================================
Finn was constantly switching roles with Chat Noir, Jake (the dragon), and the Ninja as they tried to hit Strike. The biggest problem was that pen, which constantly moved around and tried to zap them with one hit losing beams. Second biggest was the fact Strike kinda earned his spot as a hero hunter, the dude was jacked enough to run through fire and crack dragon scales with a punch.
"Now this is a proper challenge." The villain laughed, exchanging blows as the Ninja tried to use nunchucks to no avail. "I haven't had this much fun since I beat death himself."
"Okay, is death really that scary of an opponent? Ghost girl blew up one and Finn keeps fighting the incarnation of extinction." Chat Noir flipped in the air. "I feel like death's more like that mild annoying neighbor you ignore until you can't."
"Meh, if you don't fight him on a conceptual level, then yes." They shrugged. "Now where were we … a right." Strike pulled out the ninja sword. "Testing out THIS bad boy."
"I'm sorry baby, I'll come back for you!" The ninja shouted, using his scarf to avoid more lasers from the pen. "Really should've thought twice about throwing half my arsenal at him!"
"Don't feel too bad, it's the only buffer we have against this guy!" Finn reassured as he matched Strike with his own sword blow for blow, though every swing from the baddie sent Finn back inch by inch. "Is there literally nothing else you can do with your life?!"
"Compared to the thrill of the hunt, no not really." Strike shrugged as he knocked him to the ground. "I tried hunting animals, but when you take out a great white with one firing of a harpoon, the animal kingdom doesn't get that much more exciting." Strike turned to face Kelly, who tried to ambush him from above. "After that it was mixed martial arts for a while. But when you have a photographic memory you kinda just memorize every weakness to every style, it gets old fast." They sent the Woolet flying back, swinging the blade around. "Then there was villain hunting, but those guys just don't have the same drive as heroes."
"What, they're too cowardly?" Dragon Jake sent a fireball that Strike easily sliced in half
"Meh, a mix of cowardice and self sufficiency. They focus on survival instead of victory, which makes it a bit harder …" He sighed. "It's sad when I had more trouble with the Tiny Titans than I did against an alternate version of Toffee."
"I feel weirdly vindicated!" Marco shouted as he ducked under a blast from the pen.
"But heroes, they fight to the end no matter what. They're always giving everything they have, there's always a guarantee that every fight will be given one hundred and fifty percent effort." Strike smiled vindictively as The Ninja shot some 'cold balls' right into Strikes back. "So when you manage to beat them, you know for a fact that you conquered the unconquerable, like David against Goliath."
"Not religious, but I'm pretty sure we'd be David in this situation!" Rex fired off his junk cannon.
"Eh, I'm a villain, I'm flexible with skewing the details just a little." Strike shrugged as he backhanded Buttercup.
"You do realize there are alternatives to doing the impossible!" Dewey shouted. "Like conquering Mount Neverest!"
"Already did it with an alternative version of scrooge McDuck." They responded as they twirled the blade. "Now then, where to find your friends …"
"RIGHT HERE!" Shouted Steven, being tied up by Ladybug's yoyo, as they swung into Strike like a pink wrecking ball. "Weirdly, the fact you have no personal connection to us gives me a weird sense of relief…" Steven socked Strike right in the jaw. "But that doesn't make me hate you any less!"
The villain in question was sent flying into a house, the walls breaking around him. At first it looked hopeful, until he came out. "See, this is the spirit I'm talking about." He laughed. "Alright Pen, focus on the red lady too. I wanna try and see if I can make a pink rock bleed." Strike cracked his knuckles, before a green whale landed on him.
"YO, Red X nock-off! You like them seafood?!" It shifted again into a piranha that bit the villain's face all over.
"Don't you the worry, I got the sandwiches made from knuckles in case you're still the hungry!" An oranged skinned girl flew in and punched him right in the guts.
"And I have a bit of a dark spice if it pleases you. Azarath Metrion Zinthos!" A blue cloaked girl created a giant scythe that hit him once more, sending him flying to a cyborg.
"And here comes the meatball filling! BOOYA!" Who fired an onslaught of missiles and lasers at the ragdoll of a hunter.
"Damn it! I thought I got rid of you bobble headed rejects!" Strike complained before being punched by a flaming rainbow fist.
"Oh, while running for my life, I decided to make a couple of friends!" Star came flying in on a Gargoyle. "Get us up close and personal, Goliath!"
"You will feel the wrath of turning me to stone with my kind once more, vile human with a soul of evil!" Said Gargoyle shouted. "For I live again!!"
"Huh." Louie muttered from behind him. "Second time I heard someone freed from stone shout that."
"The fact it occurs more than once is a tragedy, young fowl." A white robbed man sprinted across the battlefield and struck Strike along with Goliath's claws right in the chest.
"So we're going overtime are we?" Strike smirked. "Pen, to me, we're getting serious!" The pen began flying over into his hand, the tip glowing red. "Just gotta set it to stone and …" They began aiming at Star. "Hitting the one who can break them out first."
"Oh, before you do that, I got a special delivery!" Molly cried out as she threw what looked like a blue cannonball right at the villain. "Get him Stitch!"
"Igga Nawa Questa!" The blue Koala thing took a giant chomp out of Strikes like and bit down harder and harder to make blood drip.
"Oh my, such crass language!" Wander looked like he was about to faint. "I know we're fighting for our lives, but we shouldn't divulge into savages!"
"Hey, he's the first guy to draw blood. He can say what he wants." Anne replied. "You're outnumbered, give it up now!"
The man was left panting, standing up. "Well … it seems that I truly have reached the upper limit … this is fun." He grinned madly as he chuckled. "Really fun …"
"Definitely bananas dude." Finn muttered, getting a nod from his brother Jake.
"So how about we-" Strike's wrist started beeping. "... How about we-'' And again. "Ugg, phone calls during a mission are the worst. Can we, take five?"
"No!" Literally everyone in the area shouted.
"Of course not." The hunter rolled his eyes, pressing a button. "You're on speaker, can't exactly chat at the moment."
"What, is trying to steal their powers REALLY that tough, or did they manage to break out?" A voice on the other end asked as the Pen began making noise, forming a barrier. "Because I know I upped the durability on those puppies."
"Wait, that voice sounds…familiar." Dipper narrowed his eyes.
"Kind of sounds like King." Luz rubbed her head.
"Well the Pine twins broke out first, and then Steven Universe made the rest of them explode." Strike explained sheepishly as said boy tried to punch his way through the barrier.
"Only so much you can do when you're stuck in this state, damn it." The voice growled.
"Wait a second …" Mabel looked downright scared. "BILL!?"
"Hey, is that Shooting Star?" The voice asked. "Been a while. How's being completely alone for your entire life going for yah?"
"Probably better than being a dead man!" Ben shouted.
"AHA!" Luz shouted. "Totally called it! You all owe me money!" Dang it, he was really wishing on a giant meteor.
"OH, I'm more than just a dead man…unfortunately." The voice sighed. "You know what, best to rip away subtly. I'm coming over."
"Is this going to be a monologue?" Strike asked with an eye roll. "At least I commit to attacking people and doing things when I ramble on."
"Hey, if you want to be more than just a basic bitch villain, this is how you learn." Strike grumbled at all their chuckling as a portal was made.
"Watch out guys, coming out is going to be the most powerful, most deranged, most psychotic and most…" Gwen began warning everyone as something appeared out of the portal. "....most….most…most unassuming random person I've ever seen."
Indeed, it was a completely average looking man. Average skin, the height of a four year old, brown hair, and an angry face. The only things that were weird were the yellow irises, and the fashion of a skull shirt on a toddler. "Yep … look at me!" The supposed most deranged being shouted. "THIS IS WHAT YOU KIDS DID TO ME!"
"We turned you into a baby?" Mabel asked.
"No, I was reborn as a human!" Bill shouted. "I had to live the last four years of my life as a fucking infant!"
"I don't know whether to laugh or to stick soap in your mouth." Chat Noir chuckled
"Oh shut it Dusty Claws. I had to stick with this uncontrollable flesh bag as punishment. Now I'm going to make you all pay!" They shouted.
"Question." Marco asked. "You're technically a four year old, right?"
"Yeah Karate Geezer, what's it to ya?" Bill rolled his eyes.
"How did you accumulate enough wealth to … pay Strike?" Kelly asked.
"Look Parasite Blade, I may look like a baby, but my brain's still a milenai older than any of you people combined. I still know the locations of several special safe houses for special occasions…though admittedly in this form it's been harder to access them."
Finn turned to a very contemplative Star. "What's up?"
"Marco's lectures have been getting to me, I'm contemplating the morality of choking the life out of a four year old."
"Wouldn't be the first dubious thing you've ever done, Rainbow Corn." He snickered. "Although I've gotta say I enjoyed making your prison the most. I mean, Rose Bud was one thing, just put in mommy issues and he goes ballistic. But you, I made you permanently question your whole life for all of eternity." They cackled.
"Seriously, this barrier won't hold forever." Strike commented at the cracked red shield and the absolutely furious Steven. "Wrap it up."
"Alright, alright, geeze I had to hire a fucking killjoy." Bill muttered to himself before clearing his throat. "So anyways, as Fez and Sixer erased me, I called upon Axolotl to save me in a latch ditch effort to survive. He granted my prayer, but to serve as 'penance', he placed me in a human body in some asinine attempt to make me change and grow out of my 'troublesome habits'."
"I think this counts as a troublesome habit." Webby pointed out. "If you need, we can get you a therapist when we shove you in jail."
"Pfft, hah, what, and you'll get me to cry about my feelings like Witch Wannabe's mommy did to Rose Bud?"
"I thought he lost his powers, how do you still know so much?" Luz asked, visible anger in her twitching eye.
"Again, the brain of a millennial year old all powerful god."
"And yet you made it super easy to escape your bubble." Dipper pointed out. "Heck, you didn't even try to change Mabels."
"Come on, you can't hold that against me. She kept repeating the same mistakes over and over that summer, I just assumed she'd do the same thing again." Bill shrugged. "Anyways, after stewing in this horrible body for the last few years, I had enough. I hate being hungry! I hate being tired! I hate that I have hormones in my body that make me feel weird around people!"
"You're four, what kind of hormones do you even have?" Sylvia asked with a raised eyebrow.
"Once you see every inch of a 9th dimensional being, it changes you for life." Bill shuddered. "So I got in contact with Strikey right here and made a deal. I'd help him become less of a basic bitch villain and lead him to a universe full of powerful heroes for him to hunt to his heart's content…"
"I was never basic you bastard." For once, they aimed their pen right at Bill with a threatening glare.
"And he'd gather all the heroes in one place and steal their powers and abilities for me to use!" Bill shouted. "Then I can shove away this mortal body and get right back to what I do best … throw parties that cause universes to overload with entropy." He laughed hysterically. "Think about it, Celestialsappian dna from Hourglass's Omnitrix, Rose Bud's Diamond, magic from Magian and Flaming Corn, I'll even be able to catch up with my old pals Plagg and Tikki before I absorb their essence!"
"... So I'm starting to see the insanity you speak of." Finn nodded slowly. "But we'll stop you!"
"Thank you End. You reminded me that's my cue to be done. Strikey?"
"On it." They dropped the barrier, kicking Steven away. "You have an army right? Well, fight fire with fire." The pen went wild, drawing all over the area as it created copies of heroes that were once stone.
"Pfft, like we haven't fought an evil version of ourselves before." The Ninja scoffed.
"Oh don't get too cocky yet Randy." The ninja's eyes widened as everyone stared at Bill. "What, all I need from him is the mask. The meatbag underneath is useless to me otherwise."
"Well … the Ninja Nomicon is gonna hate me after this." Said guy groaned.
"Also I never said you were fighting … yourself." The pen began to draw once more, this time more rapidly. "Anyone ever watched the hunger games? Think of that, but combine it with some maze runner!" Walls began being raised as everyone started being separated.
"Oh, we're SO NOT DOING THIS!" Star grabbed ahold of her brother before they could be split off. "Let's go bro, Starry Quartz is making a comeback!" Well at least they'd have one powerhouse on their side.
Finn watched as an evil Chat Noir stood in front of him, extending its staff. "It never gets easier." The real one grumbled.
"It rarely does." Finn agreed, pulling out his sword. "Doesn't mean we won't fight like hell though."