Solomon unilaterally declared that the tight-fitting mini dress was the greatest invention in the world.
Yoga pants might also make the list, depending on what Bayonetta wore that day—or what Solomon had ripped off her. His mood was far more relaxed than that of the Avengers, who were currently bogged down in recriminations and existential dread. The accusations from Steve Rogers and Tony Stark didn't really bother him—his anger was real, but only enough to cause a slight frown. He kicked them off the sky carrier simply because he was about to open a portal to transfer the Crucifix Rose to London and begin a previously scheduled appointment: a full day of luxury shopping and fine dining for the Sisterhood girls.
That meant delicacies far beyond the limitations of an aircraft carrier kitchen. Space was limited, after all—even prepping ingredients had to happen back at the base. Not that Solomon was complaining—he thought the engineering team had done an excellent job overall. But he did want to strangle whoever had prepared the pasta. It was the worst he'd ever tasted—comparable only to Mammon's noxious flatulence. Where the hell had Stephanie found a chef who couldn't even cook spaghetti?
"Next week on News Frontline: We'll examine the aftermath of the Avengers' involvement in the Sokovia incident and the current status of relief efforts. Mysterious new elements emerged during the conflict—according to local witnesses, the part of Sokovia that had risen mysteriously vanished, and some described horrific, terrifying phenomena. While experts suggest the footage may have been altered, religious figures, conspiracy theorists, alien truthers, and flat-Earth supporters have taken to their blogs claiming this was a sign of divine retribution or the activation of secret extraterrestrial weapons. They allege a government cover-up and insist the entire incident was sparked by alien invasion… Also, we'll be checking in on former Vesta Corp employee and cybercriminal Scott Lang, who is scheduled for release on July 17 after completing his sentence. More details available on our website…"
"Our thanks to the Sokovia expert panel and the UN delegates. Issues of superhero oversight and government transparency remain hot topics in public discourse, especially after this global event. Up next: a look back at a case from several years ago…"
Bayonetta shut off the TV. She wasn't letting anyone interrupt the arcanist right now.
"Mamma mia, this is divine!" Solomon choked down a few bites and offered clumsy praise in butchered Italian. Hearing that, the witch finally smiled in satisfaction. The plate of pasta had been an impulsive gift. She'd added sugar and vinegar to the sautéed tomatoes, and now she was bringing the dish straight to the bed. Dana had assumed she'd lost her job, watching Bayonetta serve food like this.
Solomon, under the witch's hopeful gaze, wept as he ate. Bayonetta's food tasted exactly like her alchemy potions.
To look on the bright side—at least this time the tomatoes were properly cooked, right?
Maybe he really shouldn't have fired that Russian chef. He should've given him another chance instead of shouting at him to get back to his restaurant in Moscow—an establishment Solomon now owned but had never visited. Still, the thought of that chef infuriated him—Shenya, Курицынсын! The thieving bastard. Stephanie should've brought the head chef, not an assistant.
"I swear this is the best pasta I've ever eaten," Solomon said, sniffing. "I'm not crying—it's just hot. Your cooking could make boiled leather taste good, Bayonetta. I think we should save some for Jeanne. I'm sure she misses the taste of home."
"Sounds good. The pasta in New York is awful. Also, I already called in a sick day for you, darling." The witch winked playfully. "It's not like you're rushing off to Jane Foster's Nobel lecture anyway, right?"
"It's just a Nobel Prize—hardly worth anything. I should call Darcy back. She's left me a hundred and ten missed calls—she's probably gone insane." He set the plate down, then grabbed his phone and returned the call under Bayonetta's watchful eye. "Darcy, I'm sorry. I just got back to Earth yesterday. Yes, Sokovia. I saw Thor—no, I didn't ask for a signature. He went back to Asgard… I'm not flying to Asgard just to get you an autograph… No, I don't have any of that fancy Scandinavian rolling tobacco. Just shoot those old guys if they're blocking your research—they can't accomplish anything anyway."
"Stephanie, take a day off. I'll come pick you up."
"Agent Hand, yes, I'm listening…" Solomon's expression changed, anger and sorrow cascading across his face like the lengthening shadow of the Rockies at sunset. "I see. Thank you for contacting me immediately. Gather all of Commander Gonzales's remains and prepare a proper burial." His voice dropped to a cold, deep tone. "A debt of human blood will be repaid in alien blood. This time will be no different. Tell Agent Coulson—this is my will. If he insists on dying with them, don't hesitate."
"What happened?" Bayonetta's elegant eyebrows knitted together. "Someone important died?"
"Yes. A man of great dignity and worth. Bayonetta, I may need to attend a negotiation—or a massacre."
—
Skye had just knocked out a S.H.I.E.L.D. agent when Melinda May arrived.
"We're trying to figure out what's going on, but you need to stop, Skye."
"What did you do?" the half-Inhuman hacker demanded, walking over with fire in her eyes. "Gonzales shot my mother! That's a declaration of war! You need to back off!"
"We need to find Gonzales. There's still time to fix this."
"It's too late. Take your people and go."
"I need to see him first."
Once a rookie agent, Skye had grown quickly. She was no longer the naïve girl who had first joined S.H.I.E.L.D. May hadn't expected her to be so firm—to block her path. But May had just received word that Victoria Hand had immediately dispatched an assault transport to Afterlife, the Inhuman stronghold, upon hearing gunfire. Apparently, Hand herself was aboard.
May needed to fix this fast. If Victoria Hand got involved, backed by Solomon's tech support and her own cold-blooded methods, it could become a bloodbath. That was not what Coulson wanted. He wanted peace—not war.
Victoria Hand found Melinda May unconscious and initially assumed she had been killed by the Inhumans. After medical checks revealed only a mild concussion, Hand still didn't know who had attacked May—chaos had already broken out.
Now Hand had connected with Agent Weaver, former head of the S.H.I.E.L.D. Academy and currently the only remaining commanding officer of S.H.I.E.L.D.'s last operational carrier.
"Tell me, Agent Weaver—what was the gift Gonzales prepared for the Inhuman leader?" she asked. "Gonzales is dead. Your alliance with Agent Coulson is null. I am not Coulson. I know how to handle this. And I can. Coulson is no longer an agent—he lets emotions cloud his judgment. Tell me everything. I'll decide what happens next."
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Fairy Tail: Igneel's Eldest Son (Chapter 256)
I Am Thalos, Odin's Older Brother (Chapter 336)
Reborn in America's Anti-Terror Unit (Chapter 542)
Solomon in Marvel (Chapter 924)
Becoming the Wealthiest Tycoon on the Planet (Chapter 1284)
Surgical Fruit in the American Comics Universe (Chapter 1289)
American Detective: From TV Rookie to Seasoned Cop (Chapter 1316)
American TV Writer (Chapter 1402)
I Am Hades, The Supreme GOD of the Underworld! (Chapter 570)
Reborn as Humanity's Emperor Across the Multiverse (Chapter 660)
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