"Chatting?" Lydia opened her eyes and realized she was being held by Beetlejuice. "Put me down!"
"You sure? You were super comfortable in my arms," Beetlejuice teased her. "Just ask our daughter."
"No." He put her down. Ew! She moved away, but still swore she could feel his greasy grip. She adjusted her clothes and checked her leg. "I thought it was worse, that's good."
She saw Astrid not very far. Her daughter must have called for him. "Are you okay?"
Astrid looked crossed at her. "You owe Beetlejuice 274,500 dollars."
What? Lydia's brows furrowed in confusion. "What do you mean?"
"Those are the backfees for everything he's done for you, including today," Astrid answered here. "Your show." She pointed at her mom. "Ghost House. It's to blame for what's happening."
Oh, all the progress they were making together, it looked like it was getting away. Lydia watched as papers started to fall from the sky like rain, all around them. Hundreds at least. "What's this?"
"Probably a representation of all the contracts on our heads." Astrid was definitely angry at her. "People have contracts, for our lives, because of your show."
Her show? "It's been over. What about it?"
"Can't have proof of life after death," Beetlejuice answered. "Plus, shaming the dead is probably mixed in there too somewhere. Yeah. There's about a thousand contracts out on you."
A thousand?
"We are hiring Beetlejuice to protect us," Astrid said.
Hiring? What did she miss when she was unconscious? "Contracts on us." For the show. "The show's been around. There have been similar show's to mine. No one's ever done that before to anyone."
"That's because no one knew exactly where we were. You have to know where your target is when you fill out the contract. But? When we went over to the Neitherworld, they found out. Especially when you broke in," she said firmly.
"Oh, you were on the Neitherworld media everywhere," Beetlejuice told her. "Even newbies trapped in houses were getting it on their tv's. Location part was sealed."
That couldn't be happening. Thousands of contracts from just her show? "I didn't know about some proof after death?"
"You were living, of course you didn't," Beetlejuice said. "Doesn't stop others from making contracts."
"I bet several people have them, they just can't get them because they haven't broken into the Neitherworld to make the address easy." Astrid kept riding her.
Oof. "Well, I had to do something," she tried to reason with her.
"I had to do something too," Astrid answered back. "I made an agreement with Beetlejuice."
An agreement? Lydia looked toward Beetlejuice. What kind of agreement did he make with her?
"We need to pay what he's owed first," Astrid said. "274,500 dollars."
That was ridiculous. There was no way his services cost that much, he was just squeezing out what he could get again.
"Don't look like that," Astrid warned her.
There was a demon, next to her, and she only seemed mad at her?
"It's not his fault. He's the one saving us. I worked out the best deal I could, considering what we are facing."
"You shouldn't have done that without me-"
"Hard to do it with you when you were dragged out onto the open road off a cliff!" She yelled at her. "If it wasn't for the fact that I called Beetlejuice beforehand, you'd be dead right now!"
Oh. She's right. She was just taken so fast, she never even thought about saying his name again. Lydia looked at her wounds. They should feel a lot worse. He stitched my mouth together so I couldn't call out his name before in the model. It didn't hurt a bit. He was controlling the pain.
No wonder Astrid was mad at her. I don't have a choice. Lydia already knew what was coming.
"I hired Beetlejuice," Astrid said in an actual nice manner. "Most contracts, according to him, are three to six months. We are going to move around with him, so he can keep us safe."
Three to six months? Lydia looked at Beetlejuice and squirmed slightly. Three to six months of him?
"You need to agree," Astrid told her.
Lydia leaned backward as he came closer to her.
"Not getting much choice. Hug on it?"
At least he asked? "Shake. I think." She looked toward Astrid one more time. Her expression said a lot right now. She made the best deal she could, and there wasn't a choice. She almost lost me. She already lost her father.
Three to six months stuck with him. At least Astrid kept her hand in marriage out of it. Astrid knew she placed a lot of her money in savings, and didn't spend too much unless Delia was coming over to see them. The house payment ate up some of it. Astrid's private education. She really did try to save.
He always wanted something big in return though. Was it just money? Was he still scheming to escape to the outside world? "How do we know for sure you are going to honor this deal?"
She watched as his expression went between funny and angry.
"How do you know I'll honor it? Really? Really?!" Oh, he was mad. "You are the one that wiggled out of the deal, both times! You are the one that I don't trust!"
"Then why do you trust me to make a deal again?!"
"Because if you don't, your daughter is gonna have something to say to you."
Hm? Lydia looked toward Astrid. What did he do? How did he turn her against her so much! "Astrid?"
"I worked very hard trying to get him to trust in this," Astrid said. "Because we don't have any other option. You'd be dead right now, there would be no option to even do this. It happened so-"
"Astrid!" Astrid was roped like cattle and just yanked across the ground, about to be dragged just like she was! No, that pain, she didn't want that for-!
The road became soft playdough as Astrid was dragged across it. She wasn't dragged far before she was cut loose.
By Beetlejuice.
Lydia ran toward Astrid to check on her. Nothing, I couldn't have done nothing. Just like when she saw that door close to the waiting room and ran towards him for help. Just like . . .
////1988 . . .
Barbara! Adam! Lydia just watched as they were shriveling in front of her. "No." Barbara, although brittle and barely appearing as the person she used to be, tried to reach out. They were dying. She told everyone they were dying, but no one listened.
Even when they did start to believe it, nothing could be done. No one could save them.
She ran to the only other person who could help. She moved straight to the model. "Just help them, please!"
Beetlejuice was dressed in a black and white tuxedo relaxing on tombstones. He spoke a little, getting straight to the point. Marriage to get out.
Lydia didn't care, she was desperate. "Okay, just save them!"////
It was a risk. It was a big risk. The laughter of the inner child of Beetlejuice killing people in her dreams echoed in her mind. He did good, yes. He helped, yes, but it was always for his benefit. He had such massive power. I can't lose Astrid. I won't let Astrid lose me.
She trusted that nightmare once, and escaped it.
She trusted that nightmare twice, and escaped it.
That nightmare that she dread, just disappeared in front of her. She found her dreading that so much worse. The road lost the playdough feel. Astrid looked at her, eyes so scared. If she was grabbed again.
Astrid was rarely ever scared, no matter what she went through. The look on her face. There wasn't a choice. "Betelgeuse. Betelgeuse. Betelgeuse."
They were going to die without him. She had to take the chance. She heard a loud scream in the distance, and then watched Beetlejuice appear beside her again.
"That's another 3000 dollars, Honey."
Heaven help me. "Don't call me Honey or Sweetie," she insisted. "It's Lydia."
He looked so giddy? "Lydia. Do you want a hug? Would that make you happy?"
"No." There's no way a disgusting demon was going to make her happy. "Just keep us alive, that'll make me happy."
"Right," he snorted. "You bet. Got it. The juice is on the job, totally. A hundred percent, I can do this."
"Right." Could he? She did remember that his juice was really strong. He was pretty clever like Astrid. That was a lot of contracts on them though.
"Yep. By the time we're done, were all gonna be one biiiiig happy family. Anyhow, not exactly supposed to give confident proof of a ghost's existence, so we better head out. Who's got chalk? That'd be me."
Beetlejuice drew a door on a large tree and knocked three times. "We get to go in the front today. Come on."
"Come on, Astrid." Lydia took a deep breath and went in. She came back out to see Astrid. "We need to do this. You need to come in here soon."
Astrid didn't move. Her mom was giving her space. She did that sometimes, when it was needed.
Beetlejuice gestured her in. "Yeah, first experience was bad for you, almost losing your soul. Can't be helped. Gotta go."
"No one can swap my soul for theirs?" she asked.
"You're fine. Just don't say anything that's not in your language. Let's move already," he said again.
Astrid sighed. "Don't call me Honey, Sweetie, Dear, or anything like that."
"I'm gonna call you a pain in the ass if you don't move," he said oh so not lovingly. "Clock is moving, tick tock, waiting rooms aren't fun, wanna die before we get through?" He held his hands out. "Hey, you were the one that proposed it this way."
Right. She had to. They would be staying on that side for some time. Astrid went in. She didn't want to get too far from her mom.
Waiting Room . . .
Yeah. Now that Lydia wasn't spooked about marriage, maybe he finally had a chance. "So, how's life been?"
Lydia just glanced at him, not wanting to make small talk. "Good."
"Good, good." He looked around. "Daughter turned out okay."
"Don't try going after her," Lydia warned him.
Wow. His reputation was really sealed. He scoffed. "Try and take out a few of the living, and all manner of trust, out the door." Nope, nope. He had to calm down. She had to see him in a new light.
Astrid was right. If she was going to be his wife, he really wanted to have a willing wife. "You look pretty today?"
"What's wrong with you?" Lydia stared at him. "What are you playing at? Why are you not begging for marriage? You better not be switching to my daughter."
Ugh. "I'm not playing anywhere in particular," he answered. "I'm not going after your daughter."
"You are a thing of nightmares. Even the dead don't want anything to do with you."
Ouch. True but ouch. "Love you too, Honey." Oh. "Inner child bit too much?" It wasn't the best skit he ever had. His feelings definitely came unglued from being ignored all those years.
"You blew me up like I was pregnant, broke my water, and did that. You've done so much to my family." Yeah, no loving eyes from her. "I know everything you tried with Barbara too."
Oh, of course. The Maitland yuppies shared everything. "Love it if any of that was jealousy."
"I don't like you, but, I'll do whatever you need," Lydia said to him, "as long as you don't bother Astrid."
Oh, he felt that too.
Yep. Those eyes spelled it out.
"I also saved the Maitlands," he reminded her.
"For marriage to me. Same for helping me with Astrid before." Yeah, to her there was nothing good about that. "I don't know what the deal is this time."
But the trust was low. Geez. "Saved you, didn't I? I could have just dealt with that little con-artist, instead I made him tell you the truth at the wedding." Anything? A tiny sense. A tiny push. "Not one nice dream about me?"
"Last dream of you, I was watching Astrid give birth. Your inner child was born, killed everyone, and she just held it happily. So, no. No nice dreams."
Oh. Yeah, he had connected with her briefly after the wedding again. He didn't like to connect nicely after that defeat, and that spun into his dreams as well. He woke up because of it too. It was so intense, they actually connected for a second visually again. He had seen her panicked in bed, and she definitely saw him.
He just looked away toward the counter. He couldn't say anymore though. He had to stay focused on what was important. Keeping her and Astrid safe in the neitherworld and getting rid of those contracts, while also keeping an eye out for his ex-wife. His soul was still tempting.
Right now, he couldn't use the real world as an escape route yet. Not until he gained access there legitimately.
He heard their number being called and headed forward. "Hey. Party of one dead, and two not dead. Need to make a deal." The counter woman just stared at him, clearly suspicious. Yeah, he probably bugged her in the past. He bugged any pretty lady in the past, when he could only make a short time physical connection, it was worth it.
"Come on. Let's let bygones be bygones?" He gave her his information. All his information, he dumped it right onto her counter. Some of it fell off, but it wasn't as important as what stayed on.
She looked through most of it. She rolled her eyes. "You know that's wrong."
"Doesn't say it is."
She just huffed. "To stay in the Neitherworld for that kind of case, you have to fill out this." She gave him a small stack of papers.
"Got it, thanks." He smiled at her. "The other way too?"
She narrowed her eyes. "Depending on how those trickster papers you fill out-"
"You know they'll go right through," he interrupted her. It was nice to see someone else having a bad day today.
"You suck. Get out of my sight." She wasn't being mean to be mean. She was dead, she could feel it too. Even thought Astrid and Lydia weren't just visuals this time around, other dead could definitely feel the connection. It looked like it hurt even harder, knowing he definitely wasn't deserving of the connection. It had pissed Juno off too.
"I didn't ask for it," he said in his defense. She didn't say anything in return.
He went over and started to fill out the papers. He knew all of it, the tiniest details already. He brought it back over and gave it back.
He went back toward them. Both of them were watching him wearily. "So, we are done for now, you just need to get stamped. Let's go." He brought them forward.
The secretary had a stamp. "Move closer. The both of you."
Lydia and Astrid both moved closer, and that woman stamped their foreheads.
"Come closer, I gotta initial." She chewed her gum louder as she wrote on their heads.
Lydia and Astrid looked at each other.
They both angrily looked back at Beetlejuice.
"It couldn't be helped." She stamped the word LUGGAGE on their forehead. Underneath, she initialed Betelgeuse's Property.
Lydia looked back toward the secretary. "Get this off of my forehead."
"Can't," the secretary said in a spiteful delight. "It's true. It's the papers he filled out. As long as you are here with him, you aren't living or dead. You are getting through in a loophole. You are his luggage for a week."
Lydia looked back toward Beetlejuice.
"Wouldn't have that junk on your head if you would have just married me." Okay. Not good. His anger at her always shined through more. He needed to quit before his inner child came back and had a tantrum again.
"Luggage?" Astrid looked toward him. "What did you fill out for us?"
"You aren't dead or alive. You're carry on. It's a loophole they never fixed, fully defining what luggage can and can't be. You just can't be more than a few feet away from me."
"Luggage? You really put us in as luggage?" Astrid's eyes were wide.
"It's only gonna work for a short time," the secretary warned them. "Eventually, it will come up to the board, and that paper will change."
"Yeah, uh huh." It wasn't the first time he used a loophole. Only problem was that it did eventually get papers fixed. Each time he used one, it was an option gone in the future.
"You want anything longer, you might as well just kill yourself," the secretary said. "You're better off that way than sticking with him. Next!"