So, I woke up one day- You clear?
So I'm not on my bed, not on my gaming chair, not on my couch. I'm on the fucking floor, on a ship with birds flying above me. That's pretty weird, right? Ever happen to you, you woke up on a ship with birds flying over you?
That was bad, I was confused and at the brink of panic when someone smacked the shit outta me. That's even worse.
"AH!!" I jumped as pain shot up to my head.
"Good, you're awake. We're near the next island." An orange-haired girl told me.
"ARE YOU INSANE, YOU STUPID BITCH?!" I shouted, instinctively, I guess.
A vein popped on her head. "WHAT did you call me?"
"I asked if you were insane, you stupid bit-" I caught the fist that flew at me. "Geez, have a bit of control, woman."
"Woman? Did you hit your head or something, Usopp?!" She shouted angrily.
Pause.
Let's have a moment to think for ourselves. What in the flying fuck did she just say?
"Say what?" I asked.
"I asked if you hit your head, Usopp!" she shouted again.
I covered my ears, "You don't have to shout so loud." My eyes widened hard as my jaw dropped, and my heart stopped.
Usopp.
Eh? What the fuck? I looked at her shoulder, a blue tattoo really similar to a certain fictional character from an anime. She thinks I'm another certain fictional character from an anime.
Waking Up as Usopp - One Piece Self-Insert Fanfic
So, I woke up one day- You clear?
So I'm not on my bed, not on my gaming chair, not on my couch. I'm on the fucking floor, on a ship with birds flying above me. That's pretty weird, right? Ever happen to you, you woke up on a ship with birds flying over you?
That was bad, I was confused and at the brink of panic when someone smacked the shit outta me. That's even worse.
"AH!!" I jumped as pain shot up to my head.
"Good, you're awake. We're near the next island." An orange-haired girl told me.
"ARE YOU INSANE, YOU STUPID BITCH?!" I shouted, instinctively, I guess.
A vein popped on her head. "WHAT did you call me?"
"I asked if you were insane, you stupid bit-" I caught the fist that flew at me. "Geez, have a bit of control, woman."
"Woman? Did you hit your head or something, Usopp?!" She shouted angrily.
Pause.
Let's have a moment to think for ourselves. What in the flying fuck did she just say?
"Say what?" I asked.
"I asked if you hit your head, Usopp!" she shouted again.
I covered my ears, "You don't have to shout so loud." My eyes widened hard as my jaw dropped, and my heart stopped.
Usopp.
Eh? What the fuck? I looked at her shoulder, a blue tattoo really similar to a certain fictional character from an anime. She thinks I'm another certain fictional character from an anime.
My hands shot up to my face, feeling around frantically. Long nose. Check. Curly hair. Check. I patted down my body - lanky frame, goggles on my head, and I was wearing that stupid striped shirt and overalls combo.
"Oh no. Oh no no no no no."
"What's wrong with you?" Nami's eyes narrowed suspiciously. "You're acting weirder than usual."
Weirder than usual? I'm in a fucking anime! I'm IN ONE PIECE! And not just anywhere - I'm Usopp! The guy who gets his ass kicked constantly! The guy who-
Wait.
I looked around properly this time. Wooden deck. Orange trees in pots. A small ship with a figurehead that looked like a... sheep? The Going Merry. I'm on the Going Merry.
"Which island?" I asked carefully, trying to keep the panic out of my voice.
Nami's suspicious look deepened. "Are you seriously asking me that? You were literally just talking about it an hour ago before you fell asleep on deck like an idiot."
An hour ago. When I was still the real Usopp, presumably. Shit, what did he say? What arc is this?
"Just... refresh my memory," I said weakly.
"The island that woman told us about." She answered.
Great. Absolutely zero useful information. It could be literally any island in the entire series. The woman... which woman?
"Right, that island," I nodded, trying to sound confident. "And uh, where's everyone else?"
"Below deck. Luffy and Zoro are napping, Sanji's cooking. Why are you being so weird?" Her eyes studied me like she was trying to solve a puzzle. "And since when do you catch my punches? You usually just take them and whine about it."
Ah. Yeah, that was probably suspicious. I'd reacted on instinct - my actual instincts, not Usopp's muscle memory apparently.
"New training regime," I blurted out. "Gotta be ready for the Grand Line, you know? Can't be the weakest link forever."
She blinked, then a slow smile spread across her face. "Oh? Finally getting serious? That's actually... kind of mature of you, Usopp."
The way she said it, like she was praising a child for using the bathroom correctly, made my eye twitch. But I bit back the retort. I needed to figure out what the hell was going on before I made things worse.
"Yeah, well..." I rubbed the back of my neck. "So how long until we reach the island?"
"About an hour. Maybe you should go splash some water on your face or something. You look pale."
Pale? I'd be pale too if I just woke up in a death world where people can split islands in half and there's a literal military organization that can call in admirals who can turn into magma or light itself!
"Good idea," I muttered, stumbling toward what I hoped was the bathroom. Or head. Whatever they called it on ships.
As I walked away, I heard Nami mutter behind me, "Definitely hit his head..."
Oh, you have no idea, lady. No idea at all.
I found the bathroom and locked myself inside, immediately going to the small mirror bolted to the wall. Staring back at me was Usopp's face - long nose, dark skin, curly black hair, and those distinctive eyes.
I pinched myself. Hard.
"Ow! Fuck!" Okay, so pain is real. This isn't a dream.
Think. THINK. What do I know about One Piece? What do I remember?
I know the general story. I know about the major arcs. I know that Usopp... actually survives everything. That's good. That's really good. He makes it to the end, becomes a brave warrior of the sea, all that stuff.
But I also know he gets the shit kicked out of him. A LOT. By people who can punch with the force of a cannon. Or actual cannons. Or worse.
And now I'M him.
I looked down at my hands - Usopp's hands. They were shaking.
"Okay. Okay. Don't panic. You've read enough fanfiction to know how this works," I told my reflection. "I have knowledge of future events. That's an advantage. I know about Haki, Devil Fruits, the major threats..."
But did I know the DETAILS? Could I actually change anything without messing everything up? What if I'm not in the manga timeline but the anime? Or some weird AU?
A knock on the door made me jump.
"Oi, Usopp! Stop hogging the bathroom! Some of us need to piss!" Zoro's gruff voice called out.
"J-Just a minute!" I called back.
Wait, how many people are on the crew right now? If we're still on the Merry and headed to some random island...
Small crew size.
My brain suddenly clicked into place.
"Oh god. Little Garden."
The island with the dinosaurs. With Dorry and Brogy, the two giants who've been fighting for a hundred years. The island where Mr. 3 shows up with his wax powers. Where Nami gets sick, which leads to Drum Island and Chopper joining.
I'm in the Little Garden arc. Early Grand Line. Which means the crew is just Luffy, Zoro, Nami, Sanji, and me. And the princess.
Thank god I'd at least watched up through Skypiea before I... before whatever the hell happened to put me here. I knew the major beats of this arc. Baroque Works. The giants. The wax. But the details were fuzzy - it had been a while, and I'd been more focused on the later arcs when I was binging the series.
"OI! USOPP!" Zoro banged on the door harder.
"Coming!" I fumbled with the lock and opened the door, coming face to face with Zoro's annoyed expression.
He looked me up and down. "The hell's wrong with you? You look like you've seen a ghost."
"I'm fine. Just... sea sick. Or something." I tried to slip past him.
He grabbed my shoulder, stopping me. His eyes narrowed. "You sure you're okay? You're acting weird."
Great. Even Zoro noticed. The guy who couldn't navigate his way out of a paper bag.
"I said I'm fine!" I pulled away from him, maybe a bit too aggressively. "Just tired."
I hurried back onto the deck before he could question me further. The sea breeze hit my face, and I could see it in the distance now - a massive island covered in jungle, with what looked like volcanic peaks jutting up from the center.
Little Garden.
Where Usopp gets hunted by Mr. 3, nearly gets turned into a wax statue, and has to face off against a dinosaur. Where he meets giants and tries to act brave when he's terrified.
And now I have to do all that.
"There it is!" Luffy's excited voice rang out as he launched himself onto the deck from below. "The island! I can smell adventure!"
You can smell trouble, you rubbery idiot. There's a whole Baroque Works assassination plot waiting there.
Luffy's eyes landed on me, and he grinned that stupid wide grin. "Usopp! You ready to explore?! This is gonna be so cool!"
Looking at that grin - that genuine, excited, absolutely fearless grin - something in my chest tightened. This was Monkey D. Luffy. The main character. The guy who'd become Pirate King.
And right now, he thought I was his crewmate. His friend.
I wasn't though. I was just some random person who'd somehow stolen Usopp's body.
"Uh, yeah. Sure, Captain," I managed to say.
Sanji came up from the galley, wiping his hands on a towel. "Nami-swan! I've prepared snacks for our exploration!" He immediately switched to his normal voice when addressing us. "You idiots better not do anything stupid on that island."
"We're definitely doing something stupid on that island," I muttered under my breath.
"What was that?" Sanji's eyebrow raised.
"Nothing! I said, uh, we'll be careful. Very careful. Super careful."
Now everyone was staring at me.
"Okay, seriously, what's wrong with you?" Nami put her hands on her hips. "First, you catch my punch, now you're talking about being careful? Are you really Usopp?"
My heart nearly stopped. "W-what? Of course, I'm Usopp! The great Captain Usopp! I just... I've been thinking. About strategy. And tactics. Can't always rush into things, you know?"
Luffy laughed. "But rushing into things is the best part!"
"That's how you get killed," I said flatly.
The deck went quiet.
Luffy tilted his head, his expression becoming uncharacteristically serious. "Usopp... are you scared?"
"Yeah," I admitted quietly. "I'm scared. But... that's normal, right? Being scared doesn't mean you don't go. It means you go anyway."
For a moment, nobody said anything. Then Luffy's grin came back, even wider than before.
"That's right! That's why you're my crewmate!" He punched my shoulder - not hard, just friendly, but it still hurt because rubber boy didn't know his own strength.
Zoro smirked from where he was leaning against the mast. "Never thought I'd hear honest words from the liar."
"I'm not lying!" I protested automatically, then caught myself. Actually, I was lying. About everything. About who I was. But that was a crisis for later.
The ship was getting closer to the island now. I could make out details - massive trees, the sounds of roaring in the distance. Dinosaur roars.
I'm so fucking cooked.
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[NEXT UP: Godly Aim By God. D. Usopp!]