"So, what are we going for this time?" Ed asked his sister. Curly top decided to ask them out on a date. Usually they'd say no to someone that young, but it seemed fun for someone so close to mittens, so they agreed. For a single purpose … pranking. "Fire honey in the drink, illusion double, bucket full of boiling water door trick. Poison tack on the chair?" It was fun when your victim could shrug off more painful attempts.
"I was thinking of something a little more personal." Em smirked as she filed her nails. "He's over the head mushy-gushy for us, I say draw it out a little, see what he will and won't do for us… and milk that spider-bat for all it's worth."
"Oooh, now you're thinking long term." He grinned. "We gotta let him down easy when the whole thing's over though."
"Why, you worried about a crushed heart?" Em made a mock pouty face.
"No, I'm worried about the crushed heart of someone the Owl Lady cares about." The woman has cursed eternally for less. "Besides, Mittens will no doubt try to convince him it's a sham, so there's only so long a long term rise will work."
"Maybe if he was just going out with you, but I'll have you know dear brother I am a master flirt. I'll have him eating out of our hands by the end of the night." Em smirked
"And other places." He chuckled.
"... He's still five." Em glared at him. "And we're seven."
"Right right." No one knew about the erotic magazine they found under Mitten's bed…who knew she was into cat girls? "So, dress for success?"
"It's the one lesson of mom's I'm willing to actually follow." Em smirked as she pulled out a sparkling blue dress. "Do I look datable or what?"
"Em, darling, you always look datable." Ed pulled out a suit. "The real question is if I look fly?"
"... Fly?"
"Trying out some lingo from the human appreciation society." He shrugged. "Too much?"
"I think even little curly top won't even be able to resist calling it cringe." Em winced. "So, we go for slow and steady or attack aggressively with innuendoes?
"Slow and steady first. I doubt he understands innuendoes, so we can save that for round … three?" Yeah, that seems like a good number. "A couple teases wouldn't hurt though. Like working out?"
"I mean, he's a little strong for his age, but let's not push suspicion of disbelief for him…where is he anyways?" Em looked at the table that Curly top said he reserved.
"Over here!" The two of them turned around… seeing the little rascal; in a cute little pink tux…carrying a big ass diamond that was six times the size of his body. "Mom and I found a cursed temple this morning and we raided it like pirates. I thought it matched your eyes, so I brought it as a gift."
"... Definite benefits." Ed muttered quietly. "Well, it sure as heck matches the one on your stomach. Are you trying to make sure we see a part of you every day?"
The boy formed a cute blush. "Maybe. You guys are always on my mind, with the way the wind blows through Emira's hair, or how you always skip every ten steps because you believe it gives you good luck." Did he read his diary?
"Aww, I'm glad you take so much notice." Em smiled, ruffling the kid's hair as another blush showed up. "Anything else you can point out?"
"Yeah, I can tell what you did today based on how you smell." He got in close, taking his sister's hand and giving a little sniff. "You smell like midnight lavender and glitter, which means you were working with healing magic for a prank, likely to trick someone into thinking they have a terminal illness."
"Well played little one." She smirked. "You think you can play the role of desperately asking for a price?"
"I would, but Cuttie ordered the Healing Coven to kill me on sight." He shrugged it off. "As for Edric.." He got in close.
"Getting pretty bold, aren't you curly top? Hoping for first base on the first date?" He snickered as the kid's nose admittedly tickled.
"Nah, I'm not that into sports." Ha, okay that bit of naivety was funny. "You smell…. Pretty earthy, a little musky… huh, I didn't know you were into beast keeping magic."
"Eh… it's more of a passing curiosity." He chuckled a little with embarrassment. "I'm probably not cut out for it."
"Is it something you like doing?" The boy had an invested and serious look on his face.
"I mean … a little." He never really felt like one magic was fun, everything was pretty boring in the long run if it wasn't pranks. "I like getting along with animals, but illusions are my strong suit, they're the best for cashing mischief."
"It is my firm belief that all magic is suited for mischief, it's just about getting creative." Lucci pointed out with a smile. "Imagine taming a rabid griffen, and casting an illusion over it to make it look like a dog or an ice cream stand."
"Yeah, that's why me and Em here stick with illusions most of the time." He chuckled, showing off a strange striped horse thing. "Behold, fictional creatures come to life."
"That is impressive." He snickered. "But if you mixed it with beast keeping, you can add to the illusion, make people believe they're actually touching a magic striped horse instead of a snorse."
"True..but isn't mixing magic..kind of… illegal?" Em asked.
"So?" He pointed out. "You guys like having fun above all else. Pranking is an art, a passion. To deny a passion is like…denying life itself. If you can't find one you like, just try everything till you find a combo you like." They said, messing with a bubble. "I really like this thing out of all my powers. I can block, launch, and ride them. Like this."
They aimed, before bouncing it off of three cups, and letting it land below a waiter's foot as they carried food, causing them to fall to the ground and all the food to be dumped on them. "Why meeeeeee."
"Pffft, hahaha…" Emira was laughing her guts out at the sight. "Pffft ha-." She was making a snorting sound, almost like a hog, making her cover her mouth. "Whoa…didn't know where that came from…sorry.." She blushed red.
"Why, it's an adorable laugh." Lucci responded with a head tilt.
"... Aren't you a treat." She smirked, kissing him on the cheek.
"Aaaaaahhh." He blushed, falling into the chair.
"Wow, aren't you a smooth little criminal? Stealing Em's first kiss like that." He snickered. "Hoping to steal my heart next?"
"I-Ah.I don't think I could… steal something as valuable as that." The kid blushed rapidly, shaking his head "....Would you rather I give you mine?"
Wow… wow… that was… unnaturally sweet … and flattering.
Badump
…Was this happening? Was this… actually happening? "Excuse us, twin meeting." He grabbed Em by the hand and took them out of earshot. "…What the hell?!"
"I know right!? He's just supposed to be a kid… yet he has… such a way with words.." She blushed. "What the heck Ed? What the heck!?"
"Okay, okay, maybe we flew too close to the boiling sea … let's try to be calmer. I mean, it's not like this can escalate, right?" He shook his head. "This is just a… just a fluke. There's no way he can top this."
"Hey, when you guys are done talking, I have a song I've written about how beautiful I think you two are!" Curly top yelled from the table.
"... He writes songs." Em said blankly. "He writes songs…and he's into us."
"We're doomed." Ed agreed. "…So if we do this…we go fifty fifty?"
"Fifty fifty." She nodded. "But when we're older, just remember… I'm always on top." He figured as much.
========================================================================
"Don't worry. As long as you never associate with those two again we won't press any charges." Oldalia assured her. "A Blight always keeps their end of the bargain." Amity wasn't left with much of a bargain. Dump her friends, or watch them go to prison. Have them hate her forever, or feel guilty and resent her for her family.
As if the twins supposedly 'dating' Lucci wasn't bad enough. Ever since that date, Lucci couldn't seem to take his mind off of them more than usual. He even committed less crimes because he was too busy daydreaming about them. Whatever they were planning on doing to him must've been their most devious prank yet.
"I understand mother." Amity bowed, walking into the hallway as she made her way to the room. Well, maybe if Lucci hated her enough he'd tell Em and Ed to leave, so that was a plus for him … Willow had no positives though, that was gonna crush her. Why … why did Amity have to live a life like this? Why did she have to listen to such horrible people … why wasn't she allowed to be happy?
"Why the long face mittens?" Speaking of, the oldest of the terrible two walked up beside her. "It's your birthday, the one day of the year you're basically required to be happy about." As if Emira cared if she was happy.
She scoffed. "Can't you even give me my birthday in peace and quiet?"
"What are you on about, the gift of us is the best gift of all." Her sister cliqued her tongue with a wink.
"... I'd like a refund." She bluntly responded.
"Oof, ow, that stings Mittens, that really stings." Emira mockingly covered her heart. "I think that was a fatal burn… I'm probably not going to make it to the morning." She dramatically fell to the ground. Amity leaned down and double tapped the body, before walking away. On the plus side, now she could genuinely act angry at her friends … still would sting. "Come on, no standing ovation?"
"If you want an ovation, take acting classes." She rolled her eyes.
"Come on, I think I did pretty well. Curly top think's I'm top class." Oh great, like she needed any MORE reminder to be angry.
"Lucci's too love sick that it impairs his common sense." She turned around. "Which is why you and Ed take advantage to make him your little patsy against me." Because Amity couldn't have nice things like a friend without someone from her family ruining it for her.
"No no, Lucci is an entirely unrelated advantage." Ed walked into the room and got close. "One of which we hold near and dear to us."
"..." Amity would choose to repress that and pretend it didn't happen. "May I leave now?"
"Depends. What are you going to do?" Ed asked, leaning in. "Guests usually come at two, and I know you usually tell Willow and Curly top to come an hour early." Because that was the only window of opportunity where her friends could come without encountering Mom and Dad.
"Since when are you two so invested in what I do?" Amity accused. "What, you're going to place fire bees in the pinate? Smoke bomb in the cake? Burn all the gifts once they're stacked in one pile and watch me cry in despair while you laugh at my expense?"
"Nope." Ed smiled. "We're gonna give you some sibling magic."
"And prevent you from losing your BFFs." Em finished.
"... Wow, great show. You almost had me convinced." Amity said sarcastically. "Look, whatever long con you're trying to pull with Lucci, forget about it. Mom already gave me the ultimatum, and I'd rather them hate me forever than let them suffer at the hands of my family."
"And then be surrounded by fake friends you don't even like and forever feel alone in a house you don't care about." Em continued. "Is that what you really want?"
"Of course not!" Amity yelled, feeling her anger reaching a boiling point. "But I don't get to have what I want, because the only purpose my life seems to have is to be the butt of your bad jokes and to Mom's 'perfect little puppet'! Since when has ANYONE in this family ever cared about what I want!?" The Blights were the worst … including herself.
The two twins looked at each other, nodded… and went up to hug her. "We're sorry."
".....Huh?" What new spore of madness infected these two?
"We know we come off a little strongly, but mom's not exactly the kindest to us either." Ed continued. "Heck, she forces us to wear contacts and dye our hair so that we look exactly the same."
"...But you both have natural green hair."
"Yeah, and she forces us to dye it a lighter green." Em said. "Trust me, it's not pleasant … the point is, we really do care about you and we want the best. Be a little more rebellious."
"The last man to be rebellious got a broken leg." And that was dad…the woman's HUSBAND, and that was for having a smudge of abomination goo on his suit. "I…I can't just not do what she…"
"Stop listening to mom for once and start listening to your heart." Em told her firmly. "Don't make yourself miserable just to make her happy."
"But … she's going to hurt them …"
"Only if she thinks you didn't stop hanging out with them." Ed smirked. "And the key to any illusion is to make people believe in what they thinkthey see."
"...You think she'll actually fall for it?" She asked.
"Dad won't, but I don't think he'll care enough to say anything." Em winked. "So come on, wanna try it?"
This was so bizarre for Amity… never before had she had anyone other than Lucci or Willow want to help her… To want to listen to her… and it was coming from someone in her own FAMILY, the worst collection of people to ever exist in the same house. Could she trust them? The only alternative was being miserable… But if this failed, Lucci's mom would be turned to stone, and Willow would be barred from school. Could she take that risk..?
…Lucci would take that risk…. And she had no doubt Willow would too. They were LAW, it was all about taking risks…. Doing what you wanted because you wanted it. "Just answer this honestly…. What's the deal between you guys and Lucci? Is that for real or are you stringing him along?"
"Not going to lie, it was supposed to be a prank, where we could see just how far he would go to impress us." Ed nodded.
"But he has such a way with words …" Em smiled with a blush on her cheeks. "It's like he knows us better than each other."
Amity was going to take their help … but not before barfing into a trash can!
========================================================================
Willow waited inside of the hole of the tree, gazing out at the forest. Ever since the birthday, they've had to double down on being hidden, or risk being caught around Amity in front of her parents. Not that they wouldn't fight them, they just needed to grow up first, Willow wasn't strong like everyone else after all. However … "Don't you shapeshift?" She asked Lucci, being forced to squish against him in the hole.
"I can make myself bigger with a little effort, making myself smaller is a lot harder." He said while trying to move around. "It's like trying to shove everything into a closet, pack in too much and it feels like I'll burst at any second."
"I feel like for all your op-ness, there's a lot of rules trying to prevent them from being all powerful." Willow observed.
"I know, it sucks." He pouted. "I just wanna punch Boolus in the face. Is that too much to ask?" For normal people, yes. For Lucci… double yes. "Besides, can't you make the tree a little bigger? Plants are your best magic."
"I can try and make it taller, but it still be just as narrow." She sighed. "I really wish we didn't have to do this. Amity's parents suck."
"That's what I've been saying this whole time, but no one listens to my ideas." Lucci grumbled. "Why can't we just set them on fire?" He asked.
"Because neither of us are strong enough to get away with it yet." She added in. "Maybe your mom could kill them, but then you got the emperor's coven getting involved, which involves your Aunt, which would lead to Belos, and we all know no one can beat him up."
"So everyone keeps saying." Lucci rolled his eyes. "I wish we didn't have to hold off on giving our birthday presents."
"Meh, it's better this way, less people around to screw it up." Willow nodded. And less people to stop her from… "So… you and the Twins?" She asked, slightly shifting gears. "...So that's a thing.
"The second best thing in my life aside from being mom's son." He stared up dreamily. "It's been a blast. We trade tips on pranking ideas, and we take turns picking each other up." He blushed. "And whenever we sit down together, they always put me in the middle and call me the 'little spoon', whatever that means, but it feels nice."
"... You are too innocent for your own good." She chuckled.
"What does that mean?"
"You'll figure it out." Ah, he was a good kid, if a bit misguided. "So, when you asked them out…. Were you nervous? Did you feel anxious at all? Sweaty, fearful about how they would act?"
"No." He answered. "I told them how I felt, and they accepted, simple as that." He said.
"...Just like that?" Willow questioned. "No special gestures, no trick?"
"Why would I need to trick them? The point was to tell them how I felt." He said. "You know how I always try to promote the art of lying?"
"A little obvious, if a bit unrefined." He was a bit blatant when lying. For example, when they got involved with the Emperor's Coven, he tried to blame it on Steve. Weirdest thing about it was that it had an eighty-twenty success ratio.
"Well there are times to lie, and times to tell the truth. If you like someone, then you tell the truth. The Twins were always calling me cute and adorable, so that had to mean they liked me. They were honest."
"...I'm pretty sure that was just teasing." She questioned.
"It was honest teasing." ….Was it now? "Point is that I was honest, they were honest, and now we're dating. Simple as that."
She couldn't imagine being that blunt. It was just … crazy! Like, wow, walking up and saying you liked them and wanted to spend your lives together in a flowery castle holding hands and eating cake, carrying them wherever they go and end each night with a big passionate kiss that lasts for hours-"Footsteps. Someone's close." She paused her internal daydreaming.
Lucci tensed as the footsteps got closer and closer, before stopping. "I'm alone." Amity's voice called out.
"Amity!" Lucci shouted out, pushing Willow out as the tree burst. "... Sorry, still working on strength control."
"Please do…unless it's towards my parents, in which case, feel free to break their spines." She smiled widely.
"...Wow, I knew you hated your mom, but you weren't that open about it before." Willow noted.
"My entire life at home is basically one big lie." Amity grinned. "Ever since my birthday Ed and Em have been teaching me more about Illusion magic… and I can't get enough of it! Watch." She snapped her fingers, and created a double of herself, one with green hair. "I place one over myself whenever mom's around. She still doesn't know I haven't dyed my hair at all."
"Double Amity…" Willow blushed.
"Lucky, I still can't get my illusions down at all." Lucci pouted.
"Oh I'm sure it's fine." Amity assured.
Lucci snapped his fingers … as what looked like a doddle of Lucci showed up. "Mnoi." It spoke up.
"... Everyone … makes mistakes." Willow assured, trying to hold back her laughter.
"Ed and Em say they like it, though I'm pretty sure that's just them being nice." He sighed. "So you've finally begun truly rebelling against your horrible parents."
"You betcha! I have a checklist of my little acts of anarchy I've been doing around the house." Amity took out a notebook. "Whenever mom uses the bathroom, I take out all the toilet paper. Whenever she sits down, I place an invisible whoopie cushion. And whenever she passes by the factory, I put a hive of firebees in the path of her carriage that chases her around!"
"And she doesn't suspect you at all?" Willow asked. It seemed after two pranks she'd notice something.
"She either blames the twins, who don't mind getting blamed, or dad for no discernible reason other than to be angry." She shrugged.
"Well on a less infuriating note … birthday present!" Lucci shouted, pulling out his gift. "Behold, a hotdog backpack!"
"... What's a 'hot dog'?" Amity asked.
"Human food according to mom." Lucci shrugged. "They're apparently just like Not–dogs, except what they're made out of is apparently all the inedible parts of an animal grinded to a tasty paste and put into a tube."
"The human world is weird." Willow winced.
"That's what I keep telling mom, but it still makes money." He handed it over. "Anyways, now we're backpack buddies! I have a cheeseburger and you have a hotdog. Together there's nothing we can't carry!"
"Backpack buddies." She gave that adorable little chuckle …
"I … have a … have a gift." Willow handed it over nervously. "It's….I spent a lot of time getting it worked on…and it means a lot to me…. I hope it means a lot to you."
"Willow, I'm going to love anything you give me." Amity smiled as she unwrapped it. "Aww, it's a little heart….and it has W + A… " Amity's face gave off that adorable full face blush. "Ahh… Willow… do… do you…?"
This was her moment… Just be honest… and hope for the best. "Amity… ever since you came into my life, I've felt so happy … so cared for … You've always tried to protect me, support me… you were my first friend…and it means so much to me… and.. and…" Unable to hold herself, she wrapped the girl up in a hug. "Amity Blight…..I LOVE YOU!"
"... YOU HAD A CRUSH ON AMITY THIS WHOLE TIME!?" Lucci shouted in bafflement.
"YOU… YOU… YOU…"Amity was beginning to shake and tremble. "You…"
"Yes, I love you!" Willow repeated. "I want to spend my whole life with you, I want to hold your hand and pick you up and carry you around all over the place and kiss every inch of your adorable cat-like face…!"
"... Willow?" Lucci started.
"Lucci, this isn't the time." She turned to the boy.
"Yeah but … I think you hit her with too much." He pointed to the unconscious Amity in her arms, face flushed beyond belief, steam coming from her head.
"...Oh…" She blushed in embarrassment. "Oh … Oh I ruined everything. She's going to wake up and think I'm lame and leave me behind…"
"Willow, if Amity was that shallow, she wouldn't be sneaking out to see us in the first place." Lucci patted her on the back. "You had something to say, and you said it. Doesn't it just feel good to just say it?"
"Yeah, but that's easy for you to say. You're dating BOTH your crushes." Willow sighed.
"Hey, I've been rejected before." He shrugged. "Remember Boscha?"
"The three eyed bitch?" She groaned.
"You know we really should stop cursing, mom would make us eat soap."
"... You mean wash out our mouths?"
"No, I mean shove it down your throat." Yikes. "Point is, that even if Amity doesn't feel the same way, she'll still be your friend, and you'll be free to have a new crush."
"...A new crush huh?" She doubt it would be that easy… but the sentiment was nice all the same. "Thanks Lucci. I'm glad we're a trio instead of a duo."
"I'm glad to." He smiled, looking at the unconscious Amity. "....So what are we going to do with her?"
"Fairy tales say that kissing people out of unconsciousness usually works."
"Mama always said those books are basically creeps kissing people without consent."
"Maybe … if I'm already a criminal is it okay to try?" She asked.
"That's a fair point, though I feel like it's different from when the twins ask me to help with CPR practice." Lucci scratched his head. "In that situation I'm still awake, and I can appreciate Em's breath smelling like mint and Ed's smelling like vanilla. It's better when it's mutual appreciation."
"... Worth a shot." Maybe today wasn't a disaster.
========================================================================
Boscha growled as she watched Amity hang out with half a witch, swinging on a dumb little swing set made out of vines and dumb flowers. "Another piece of fruit, my queen?" They sickeningly asked.
"Why certainly, my beautiful flower." It was a horrible sight to witness. Mom told her she needed to make connections and be friends with the Blight kid, and what Mom said went. Boscha didn't mind too much, she could always use another lackey, and admittedly Amity was on the cute side, much more than most of her friends, so hanging around her wasn't the worst thing she could do.
Unfortunately, Amity happened to be friends with that loser Willow Park, a definite downside but one she could work with as long as Amity learned she needed to ditch the dead weight… but after that birthday party… she found it was actually much worse than she could never imagine….the half a witch….was dating her.
Hand in hand, always saying cutesy and flowery things to one another's, unless it was near Blight Manor nobody ever saw them apart. And Boscha was forced to watch it from the sidelines. "Aww, true love, how cute." Skara cooed.
"It's gross is what it is." She growled out. "Why do Blights keep associating with trash?" There were the older ones hanging around that alley rat Clawthorne, and now this. "It's like some kind of mental defect that gets lodged in them or something."
"Come on, I'm a sucker for a good ole' class divide romance." Skara smiled. "And they're best friends, so the relationship already has a great foundation for a strong and long lasting romance that few can ever say they've been a part of." She said dramatically. "And then when the authorities try to break them apart … we drive an axe into their skulls and feast on their entrails!"
They stared at the girl for a moment. "How is she so violent one moment and sweet the next?" Cat asked.
"I think it's a grudgby tactic." Amelia whispered. "You know, draw the enemy into a false sense of security and take them out when they least suspect it."
"Hello, are you people completely missing the point here?" Boscha called them out. "When trash hangs out with non-trash, that trash begins to believe they're not trash, they get over confident, and then they start believing they have the right to be on equal footing with the rest of us! It's a disaster in the social hierarchy, and it needs to be stomped out while it's still in motion!"
"...You sure you're not just saying that because you're jealous?" Cat asked.
Boscha scoffed. "I am not jealous."
"Really, because you seemed really disappointed when Amity didn't pay attention to you at her birthday." Skara pointed out. "Or when she didn't come to your own."
"Because she's being stupid and focusing on the trash that doesn't matter." She rolled her eyes. "So how about we teach them where they belong?"
"You sure about that?" Cat asked. "Doesn't that Clawthorne kid hang around them too?"
"That's just some wannabe criminal trying to act like he's hot shit because he can snag a few sweets from a candy store. Like I'm going to be intimidated by that." Boscha growled, setting her hands on fire. "So are you gals with me, or do I need to set you all on fire before the next Grudbdy practice?"
"I'll take the fire. I'd rather not fight my music buddy." Skara waved off.
"... I can't afford the damage, I'll go." Amelia sighed.
"Fiine, but your family's covering the hospital bill." Cat rolled her eyes.
"Like that's going to happen." Boscha scoffed, readying a flaming grudgby ball, and eyeing that half a witch's dumb face. "Aim … and … fire." She threw it with incredible speed, breaking the girl's glasses on impact. "Score!"
"WILLOW!" Amity cried out for the loser. "Boscha, what the hell did you do!?"
"Taking out the trash as a part of my civic duty as a model citizen." Boscha responded causally. "And I suggest you step aside and let my friends continue… unless you want your mom to find out what you're doing dating the loser she hates so much."
She could see the girl wince as Boscha walked up closer. "Boscha …" They growled.
"Oh, what's this, does half a witch think she has a shot at doing something worthwhile?" Boscha asked.
"No… I'm giving you one warning… back off… or you're going to be in a world full of hell." Half a witch grumbled.
"Pfft, like I'm scared of you."
"..Who said anything about being scared of me?" She snickered. "Oh Lucci!" She shouted … followed by nothing. "I said oh Lucci!" She shouted again … still nothing.
The Blight looked over to the Clawthorne boy reading a book, walking over and poking him on the shoulder. "Hmm?" He took out some ear plugs. "What's up?"
"Mean girl bitch Boscha threw a flaming ball at my girlfriend's face." Amity pointed to the beaten up girl.
"Got it." He turned to Boscha, pulling out a pink bubble.
"Oh wow." She rolled her eyes. "I'm so scared-"
Smack
Before it slammed into her gut harder than any shot she'd ever received. "GACCK!"
"Okay, look Boscha, I admire your temper, and your strength, and despite what others think, I do still find you a bit cute." The brat said in a straight voice as he grabbed her by the collar. "But I've been going through a lot lately, you know, being in my own relationship, having to jump hurdles just to keep the best friendship I have intact, and I've had to really ask myself…what will I do for my friends?" He threw another gut smashing bubble into her chest. "And protecting their happiness, their ability to choose to be how they want without outside interference…that's at the top of my priority list. And I won't let anyone hurt them, whether emotionally, or physically."
"You … you little-" She didn't get out another word out as he stomped on her chest.
"... Wow, you're weak." And he INSULTED HER! "I'm surprised I'm needed to beat you up to begin with."
"That's why we had you on lookout." Half a witch said, being held by the Blight. "Why didn't you see it coming?"
"You guys said I'm not allowed to watch or listen to you anymore after Em and Ed taught me how to tease." He shrugged. "And I keep saying it, Willow, you're stronger than you think you are. In fact, the fact that your best magic makes up over half of the landscape of the isles… you're probably the strongest out of all of us resource wise."
"Come on, I'm good, but not that good.." The half a witch blushed.
"You're better than you think you are, you just need to stop listening to your parents, like me." Amity smiled, kissing the girl. "And I've felt your muscles every time you hold me… and you know I love it when you hold me."
"Would you all shut up!?" She growled, setting herself on fire.
"So am I knocking her out, or you?" Trashthorne asked.
"Let's make it a group thing." Half a witch smiled. "An affirmation that Law is going to stick together no matter what."
"That we'll protect each other, no matter how big or small the threats are." Amity nodded as the three of them turned to them.
"Sounds like a plan… so Willow, you tie her down, and me and Amity will blow her up."
"With pleasure." Vines wrapped around Boscha.
"You … little …"
"SHUT IT!" They all shouted, before kicking her down, and a bubble filled with purple goo filling her face.
Boom
========================================================================
Steve liked his job in the Emperor's Coven. He helped the emperor fulfill their jobs, he helped the citizens live their lives, he talked to criminals about their insecurities before they were petrified, he helped everyone. … This was not one of those times. "Stop you…. Horned bat….cat…scorpion thing!" He called out to the learn pink and green figure in the sky as it drop down some of the most dreaded and sickening substances known to witch kind… vials of expired vinegar.
"I'm a manticore sweet cheeks. And no, I'd rather stay up here and enjoy the view." It cackled as the seven foot creature flew through the streets, giving every fifth witch they came across massive wedgies. "Let's try mixing it up! Everyone's heads are now backwards!" They used a spell circle, and suddenly Steve could only look behind him. "Haha, hilarious!"
Yeah, this had been going on for a month now, a random demon causing chaos before ditching. They thought it was an illusion until it gave someone a black eye for peeking under the skirt.
No one knew what they were.. if they even had any identifiable gender to begin with, or where they even came from. All they knew was that they came out of nowhere, disappeared into thin air, and flirted with several people if they weren't pranking them. "Catch them, before it's too late!" A Coven Guard shouted, creating a fireball.
"And why don't you chill out?" The thing asked, sending forth a wall of ice and freezing them. "Yeowch, maybe treat yourself to some chili!" They summoned several balloons, throwing them at several guards, where a red power covered their entire face.
"Aaaagggh, my eyes!" His fellow guards shouted. "My diet specifically said to lay off spicy food! I didn't know what my doctor was talking about until now!"
"Oh, sorry to hear." The thing laughed. "Now what to do next … oh, how about a mittens reference? That could be fun." The creature seemed to be talking to itself. "Now should it be cat themed or book theme… the book idea has a lot more opportunity for over the top creativity." They muttered. "Oooh, speech impediments to sound flowery. What a lovely torture method."
"Forget petrification, this guy needs to be thrown in a rubber room." Severine grumbled.
"Excuse you, I am not a guy." They shook their head. "I am … CHAOS!" Sparklers went off in their hands. "We are Krishna, and we're gonna have a blast!" The menace chuckled, blasting a firework right at the cat demon.
"Uggh, you foulest of foul fiends! Why I art to behead thou which you stand!" The girl shouted…before covering her mouth. "What mischief is this!? My speech pattern matches that of my fellow compatriot's diary!"
"Oh that's a riot!" The thing chuckled.
"Steve thinkith art payment is not satisfactory for the troubles that befall Steve." He grumbled.
"And they say literacy is dead! I might actually give reading a try now… eh maybe in fifty years when I'm older." The manticore freak cackled as they flew up high. "Now before I depart, I'd like to have a volunteer for my last trick of the night. Now who's gonnna be my lucky victim. Come on, don't be shy. I'll give you a cookie."
Don't fall for it Steve, that's the same trick they use for carriage insurance. "No takers, damn, guess this plate of freshly baked cookies will just have to go to waste." The creature sighed as it took out a plate of admitted pretty good smelling treat. "I just thought after all this time of pranking you all, I could make up for it just a little."
No Steve, don't fall for the fresh warmth and delicious smells and chocolate cockroachy goodness of- "I'll do it." DANG IT!
"Excellent!" They moved over. "A fresh batch of cookies." … Neet. "For the price of a mouth."
"…A wha-ggh?" He attempted to ask… only to suddenly find his mouth completely missing! "Gmmmmmmmmmm!"
"Hey, I wasn't kidding about the cookies, they're real, see?" They took a bite out of one before leaving the plate on the ground. "Good luck eating them!" They laughed as they flew away. "It was nice playing with you, Bonesburrow! See you next week!" They turned around a corner, and in a poof of green and pink smoke… they were gone.
"I curse thee fiend, curse thy on my name, the great and mighty irritable Severine the underpaid!" His partner yelled out to the sky futilely.
"MMMMMMHHHH!!" Steve tried to scream.
"Calm thyself partner, a simple bastich blade shall smooth thy problem."
"Whhhhhhjhh!" Why was this happening to him… who was that terrible monster!?!
"Oh hey Steve." He turned around, and saw his little buddy Lucci between the two older Blight twins, all of them walk with each other and holding hands. "I see that you've had a busy night."
"MMMMMMMMM!!" More than busy! He was going to suffer just to be able to eat, let alone breathe!
"I think we're disturbing the nice man's peace, my cuddly kitten." The Blight girl snickered. "Perhaps we should take the rest of our date back to your place."
"What a lovely idea, my succulent scorpion." Lucci laughed as he placed both twins up on his shoulders. "Comfortable, my bedazzling Bat?"
"Delightfully so Tiger." The Blight boy chuckled. "Now let us soar through the stars!"
"… Still can't fly." The boy snickered as he jumped. "I just know how to fall with style."
"…hmmmm." Cat, bat, scorpion…the three main components of a manticore… weird coincidence.
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King likes to think he built up enough tolerance for many things. He built up a tolerance to Eda's gambling, Hooty's rambling, Coven Scout's stupidity, and Lucci's powers being weird and incomprehensible. He had to build up many a tolerance in order to remain the one sane person in the owl house to keep everyone else in line.
But he would gladly jump into the boiling sea of it meant he could go the rest of his life without hearing the one thing he could never get use to under no circumstances, even if it handed him a golden throne encrusted with jewelry… Teenagers… flirting.
"You know; if the whole criminal thing doesn't work out for you, you could make a killing as a living body pillow." Emira Blight smirked as Lucci was sandwiched between her and her brother Edric on the couch. "With how short and plushy you are, no one could resist."
"My growth spurt could happen any day now." The boy blushed in embarrassment. The kid hadn't gotten much taller since his eighth birthday, much to Lucci's chagrin.
"Don't go rushing too fast. I'll miss looking down to see your little eyes looking up at the sun." Edric smirked, patting the boy's head and ruffling it.
"Why would I be looking at the sun when I have you two?" And here laid King's current predicament… every third line out of the trio was some cheesy, mushy gushy smultz that made him want to gag. He personally blamed Lucci's love of bard music for that.
"Aren't you getting better." Edric blushed, dramatically fanning himself. "A few more words like that and you might hold the power in the relationship."
"Why would I want power when you're both so awesome?"
"Make it end." King muttered in torture. "Titan, if you're listening, please for the love of mercy get me out of here."
"Come on king, you're being dramatic." Lucci accused. "You act like I'm killing your dad or something."
"I would prefer that over your cheesy romantic dribble." King said exhaustedly. "Heck, you know it's not even a good insult. Neither of us know our dad." Well, his was a far off elder or something who passed the demon crown to him … wait, weren't princes crowned kings when the old ones died … was his dad really dead? Great, now he was falling down a snaggle hole.
"Trust us, you're better off not knowing." Emira rolled her eyes. "Dads don't do anything other than watch from the background and stay silent when things get real. They don't get involved, and rather slink into the shadows rather than spend time with you."
"Dads also leave. That's what makes moms great." Lucci smiled.
"... Most moms." Edric nodded. "Your mom's cool."
"Your darn right!" Eda shouted from another room, either somehow able to tolerate hearing this mess, or invented a six sense for compliments. "So are the blunder twins staying over for dinner, or do I need to kick their tucas's out for the night?"
"Harsh, but yes." Emira answered. "Mittens is having date night with Willow, and we'd prefer to avoid forced awkward conversations with our parents without their favorite child as a mediator."
"Got it. I could spend the entire night telling embarrassing stories about your folks, so don't worry there." She waved off.
"Ooh, yes please, give us everything." Edric chuckled. "I'll be sure to add your signature to the end of every prank involving said info." Great, more time stuck with the terrible trio of lovebirds.
"Just…promise me to turn down on the flirting. I want to actually be able to hold down my food tonight without gagging every five minutes." King pleaded with them.
"Oh, I don't think I'll be eating too much tonight." Emira smirked wickedly as glomped all over his brother figure. "I have the sweetest little morsel right here for the taking.
"Aww." Lucci blushed. "Come on guys, you guys are much sweeter."
"I don't know, pretty sure you own the crown on that, but maybe my memory is a bit fuzzy." Edric snickered as he pinned the boy down. "Em, I think we need to double check."
The Blight girl smirked as she joined in, their faces getting closer to Lucci's. "I think you're right Ed." No, no, no, no, not another make out secession!
"Yeah!" Hooty shouted. "Brother and sister make out for the win!"
"...Excuse me, I have to go wash out my eyeballs with boiling water!" He ran for the kitchen as the disgusting sounds of pleasure moans and giggles were heard. "Eda, do something about it!?"
"...Like what?" Eda shrugged as she mindlessly chopped up snorse meat. "I've done way worse with Raine when I was his age. As long as they keep the clothes on, I'll allow it. I'm not a prude you know."
"There's being a prude, and there's knowing when to stop a trainwreck from appearing!" King exclaimed. "Come on, even you can't deny all the mushy-gushy stuff is getting old!
"I admit that I rather not hear his love songs every other day…. And that's not just because his bard magic is always causing things to go whacko." Eda responded. "But if Lucci's going to insist on going to school, I'd prefer he do it with fellow troublemakers that I know will have his back."
"...THAT'S WHAT AMITY AND WILLOW ARE FOR! It's their whole group motto and everything!"
"Yeah, but these guys are serious about it. Boots and Glasses are more seedlings for that sort of thing." The woman shrugged. "And it gives me a chance to finally pass out these bad girl coven shirts I've been saving for the right occasion."
"... How much of our food money did you spend making those?" King asked.
"Enough so that tomorrow we're going to rob every restaurant and store we can to make up for it." Of course they were.
"I'm going to go to sleep to prepare then … and hopefully avoid any more flirting." When King regained his powers, his first decree would be banning public romance till the end of time.
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"Aha!" Luz shouted, jumping through the door and tackling the owl. "Give me back my book or face the consequences!"
"Hoot!"
"Don't take me for a fool!" Why couldn't anything go right for her today? She just wanted to have a proper goodbye to her favorite book series, she wasn't about to let this tiny yet adorable trash thief take it away for it to become a nest or worm food!
"Ehem." … She turned up to a woman with grey hair and pointy ears. "I believe that's my owl you're threatening."
Luz paused. "... He stole my book?"
"Then that book is mine. Unless you wanna buy it off me." She smirked. "Lucci, mind giving the girl the downlow on what we do here?"
"Certainly." A boy, shorter and with much curlier hair, who also had pointy ears, smirked as he led her by the hand. "So… you're what they call a human, right?"
"That's a weird thing for another human to ask." Luz stated.
"Not a human." He made a pink bubble out of thin air. "I'm a witch!"
"... So cool!" She shouted with sparkling eyes. "You can do magic!?"
"So much of it, and all with style." He smirked as he jumped, and stayed in the air. "The names Lucifer Clawthorne. Friends call me Lucci, enemies call me monster, but above all else, I am the son of the most infamous criminal of the boiling Isles, the OWL LADY!" He shot out fireworks in the air while presenting the old lady with jazz hands.
"Wow, your illusion magic is really improving." The 'owl lady' gave a little clap.
"The Blights are great teachers." He bowed. "Definitely can't beat Gus though, that kid's a prodigy."
"Ah, you'll still blow him out of the water with bard magic, no one can beat you their champ." The owl lady patted the boy's head. "Anyways yeah, that's our whole deal. I take human goodies from the human world and sell them here for triple what they're probably worth." She presented a table of what Luz could kindly describe as complete garbage. "Would you like this box that contains human sadness?" She held up a handheld.
"... Yeah no." She walked up, plucking some batteries, plugging them in and turning it on, showing off a workout vhs.
"... You said humans weren't magic!" Lucci shouted. "What strange dark magic is capable of housing tiny people in boxes!" Aww, this little guy's naivety was pretty cute.
"I'd gladly tell you if you teach me magic." She said.
"Already trying to twist our arms… impressive." The Owl lady smirked. "If we're going to do anything, it's not going to be here though. Hey Lucci, where's the blunder twins? They were suppose to be on lookout."
"Around here somewhere …"
"RUNNING FROM THE LAW!" Two voices screamed, as she saw a cute guy and girl run past them.
"That's the fifth time this week." The old woman shook her head with disappointment. "If they're going to join us on these jobs, they need to cut it down to at least three times a week. They're calling WAY too much attention."
"Oh like we can't handle some scouts and your sister." Luz had SO many questions. "So if you're serious about learning magic, come with us, or risk getting arrested."
"...I can just walk through the door again right?" Luz asked.
"Nope, closing it up right now." The woman held up a briefcase with an eye symbol on it. "We need you for a robbery."
"Wait, keeping a girl hostage?" The cute green haired boy asked. "So you do kidnap children?"
"Lucci, keep your boy toy on a tighter leash, or I'm eating them."
"Come on mom, don't be that hard on them." Lucci patted the guy on the back as the cute boy blushed. "They're doing their best."
"Wait, you're together… like together?" Luz asked, looking back and forth. "Not that I'm against this… but isn't Lucci a little…young for him?"
That made the kid roll his eyes. "I'm fourteen. I'm just short for my age." He grumbled.
"Short, sweet, and kissable." The cute girl picked the boy up and kissed him all over the face.
"....."
"Oh, by the way, this is my boyfriend Edric." Lucci gestured to the boy. "And this is my girlfriend Emira. They're off limits."
"... You have to be the luckiest kid alive." She said bluntly.
"Don't I know it?" Lucci grinned cheekily.
========================================================================
Lucci smiled as he gazed at the glaring face of Oldalia. "You know, it's nice … or whatever, to meet the mother of my boyfriend and girlfriend face to face." He would've never agreed to come here on any occasion, no matter what… unless it was to burn this tacky hobble they called a mansion down to ash. But his lovely scorpion, dashing bat, and best friend Amity had come up to him with a proposal for a much, much, much…greaterrevenge than he could ever dream up of that wasn't murder.
"I could say the same thing." Willow smiled, holding Amity in her lap, who had a very vindictive smile right now. "Although we are quite well acquainted with each other already, aren't we, Mrs. Blight?"
"I suppose we are." The terrible woman spoke with a glare. "Although I ask what madness proposed you to bring up a meeting with me."
"That would be your children's idea, not mine." Lucci bowed gracefully. "Take it away you two."
"You know, as the eldest child, we are to inherit Blight Industries, right mother?" The lovely imp Emira smiled.
"... Correct."
"Along with anyone we deem an acceptable partner in the family tree, correct?" The dashing gremlin Edric smiled mischievously.
"…that's is the stated law."
"Then my shares, along with with Emira, Edric, and the reserved amount for their potential partner would create a total share of forty five percent of the company, right?" Amity gave a vindictive grin.
"Not. A. Majority." Odalia cracked her hands on the desk.
"Correct … For Mr Blight has the remaining ten percent." Lucci smiled innocently. "Which means it's now down to-"
"Do you believe you can run a company?" The man asked bluntly and without any fanfare, focused on an abomination in his hand.
"I believe that with the intelligence and brilliance of your children, you're amazing and quite lovely kids, we can work together to make Blight industries something truly spectacular."
"Flatterer." The two blushed bashfully.
"Then my shares are yours, good luck." He nodded, ignoring the enraged looks of his wife.
"... Which makes the five of us the heads of Blight Industries." Amity smiled. "And our first order of business … reassessing staff to see who stays and who goes."
"For a company that specializes in abomination products, you use oracle magic." Willow added on. "Now that doesn't seem very practical does it?"
"I… I use it to help project business sales and navigate the best deals!"
"Yet you didn't use it to see this was coming." Lucci smirked. "Either you're very lousy, or Oracle magic wouldn't help either way."
That made the woman fume. "You can't do this to me! You're a criminal!"
"Really? Because as far as the law and wanted posters are concerned, this adorable little face has no crimes to his name." Edric rubbed his face affectionately.
"His mother yes, but not the boy himself." Emira nodded, ruffling his head. "Accusing a coworker of a crime they didn't commit. You are not doing yourself any favors."
"I'm afraid we're going to have to let you go, Odalia." Amity fake pouted. "Clean out your office by the end of the week."
"You're just children, you don't know anything about running a company!"
"But I do. You've been teaching me the in and outs of running Blight industries ever since I was four." Amity nodded. "And with permission granted en loco parentis by one living guardian, that being dad in this case, we can assume full control effective immediately."
"You can't allow this!" The woman screamed at her husband.
"They said they could run the company." The man shrugged, focusing on his latest project. "I have to thank you for the sample Lucifer, with this we could create an abomination that could make the Emperor's Coven irrelevant."
"As if they aren't already." Lucci snickered. "Oh, and I believe we're going to need a complete rebrand of the company, a new name. Amity, Willow, any suggestions?"
"I would say LAW, but I feel that's more perfect for the CEOs." Willow muttered. "Maybe whatever the opposite of a Blight is?"
"Blessing?" Amity asked.
"The Blessing Foundation …" Lucci thought it over. "Blessings to cure the curse of the Blight name….I think it sounds very fitting."
"I know you're a blessing on our life, tiger." Edric kissed him on the cheek. "So now that we got that settled, lunch?"
"I'm down for that, but before anything else." He presented his hand. "You don't have to fear your mom now…so you don't need your glamor stones anymore."
"...You know about them?" Em asked in mild surprise.
"You've kinda been teaching me illusion magic. Wasn't that hard to put together." He chuckled. "I liked you guys more for your personalities than for your good looks. And if you guys can accept me for being shorter and a little younger…then I don't see why I can't accept you guys as you are naturally."
The two turned to each other, before shrugging, and pulling off small stones, and with a simple poof, they were in casual clothes, with acne and glasses. "This is the real us." Emira said.
"All the faults." Edric nodded.
"... HOW DID I NOT KNOW!?" Amity screamed. "I just thought you woke up with naturally eyeliner and make up on!"
"Hey, mom's standards of perfection are hard to maintain, it was just easy to put up the illusion of it." Emira shrugged. "Hope you aren't disappointed."
Lucci smiled, and kissed both of them. "Why would I be? You're still perfect to me."
"You make me flush." Emira cooed.
"So quick with a response to." Edric chuckled. "Speaking of, chop chop mom, you would have had us out three minutes ago."
"...This isn't over." Odalia grumbled, making her way out of the room. "This little coup of yours… it's going to crumble, whether it be by your own incompetence, or by me reclaiming what is rightfully mine!"
"Send all complaints to human resources if you have a grievance." Amity said in a complete business-like tone. "Oh, and me and the twins have legally filed documents for emancipation of you, so you're no longer legally our mother."
"Have a nice day, has been." Willow chuckled with a passive aggressive wave.
"...." The bitch said nothing as she walked out of the room, completely defeated.
"Man, that was almost more satisfying than just burning the place to the ground." Lucci smirked. "Almost." Maybe when he was bored he'd do it. "So, we still up for lunch?"
"Oh yes, I'm starving." Amity nodded as Willow carried her. "While we're at it…you think we should help Luz find a girlfriend… or boyfriend, or whatever she's into, I keep getting mixed signals."
"Do we know that many people?" Edric asked.
"Our options are Gus, Skara, Mattholomue, Cat, Moon Girl, and Boscha." Emira pointed out.
"...I think Moon girl's probably the best option." Lucci said. "Then again, she does like both boy's and girl's…something to ponder later I guess." Right now he was going to focus on his own happiness….he had such a wonderful life.