Amity watched as Luz once more stared at her egg. "... It doesn't even mutate into limbs like gems do." Her girlfriend said aloud. "It's just … inert, nothing."
"Rah." This was why you didn't mix Crystal Devils with Palisman.
"I probably messed it all up." Luz kept going on in her spiral of self doubt. "Centi's shards are probably sucking out the life of whatever my palisman would've been … great, bad enough I get her killed, I end the life of something before it had the chance.."
"No, no, no." Amity hugged the girl hard with a tight squeeze. "Luz, this is something entirely new. It just takes a little time, like it did with the glyphs and making the combos." She insisted. "I bet whatever hatches from that egg is going to be unlike any palisman. Something one of a kind, just like you."
"Or maybe you're just raising it wrong." Lucci said, poking the thing.
"... Aren't you trying to help her self esteem?" Amity asked incredulously.
"I am. And given the bird theme of the Owl House, Mom taught me a lot about bird eggs. Including that they need better and more natural incubation than a warm spell." He responded. "You could tape them under your shirt or something. And play it music, mom always told me they can hear everything even when they haven't been completely formed."
"Does that mean it heard you and Boscha after the Brighton incident?" Gus pointed out.
"If my baby isn't dead, it's traumatized before it even has a chance to live." Luz muttered in horror. "They probably hate me …"
"Okay, now I know you're deliberately trying to deliberately make me angry." Amity hugged tighter. "How many times do I need to cuddle you for you to get the message? You were in such a good mood after Hawaii and the creek."
"Actually, I'm pretty sure that last one was existentialism." Hunter spoke up. "Given the cave van-"
"We agreed to forget that!" Willow shouted. "We went to a creek and played a game where nothing happened!"
"We're just piling on the number of incidents. Even more than we've gathered when we were kids." Lucci smirked. "I bet the next town's gonna be even crazier."
"Well we're finally reaching the tri state area, so there's that." Sasha groaned. "That's where you're supposed to find that probability matrix, right?"
"That's what death said." Luz nodded, finally getting a small smile on that adorable face. "The last item on the list….we actually made it."
"Portal door, here we come." Boscha grinned from her spot.
"To saving the world like heroes!" Vee shouted.
"....Where did you get that idea?" Lucci pointed out with confusion
"Well we're stopping the Collector, right?" She asked. "So we'd be saving the world if we do that … like heroes."
"The boiling isles, yes, but I really don't think we count." Lucci argued back. "Amity hates most adults, Willow mostly wants to protect wildlife and her parents, Gus is trying to save his dad, Hunter….I think Darius, me and Luz want to save Mom and King…we're all selfishly motivated."
"Actually I'm down to save everyone." Hunter raised his hand.
"For altruistic purposes or to make up for past mistakes?" Luz asked.
".....No comment." Hunter turned his head.
"Well … I mean, Luz is altruistic, she cares about people, right?"
"Yes, because she's the best of all of us." Amity kissed her face.
"Meew." Not even close.
"Point I was making is that to broadly classify ALL of us as heroes is stretching the definition of that word." Lucci pointed out. "Especially Boscha. No offense Angel, you make it look lovely."
"Eh, being a hero is overrated." Boscha smirked. "Being feared and respected by the masses is better than blind love and adulation of crowds."
"That is somehow a typical yet slightly more nuanced response that I ever expected to come out of you." Willow noted. "So where exactly are we supposed to find this Murphy guy?"
"Not sure." Luz answered. "Murphy's law states that anything that can go wrong will go wrong, so…I guess we just wait for something to go wrong."
"Wait, wouldn't that imply that if something could go wrong, it would go wrong right now?" Amity asked.
CRASH
"WHO JINXED IT!?" Doctor Waybright shouted from the front.
"Hard to say in this case." Gus winced, looking outside. "Oooh, that's a nasty dent even by our standards.
ZZZZZT
"And now a bunch of power lines are falling on top of us." He continued. "..Yeah, we need to get out of this car, RIGHT NOW!"
Lucci grabbed Vee, pulling out a shield and jumping through the window, pushing away the broken glass as Amity grabbed Luz. Hunter grabbed Gus and warped out as Boscha and Willow simply flew out on their palisman, along with Sasha jumped out the front.
BOOM
They watched as their ride … exploded. "...Well it was going to happen at some point." Amity said as they watched the flaming pile of metal consume what they had been traveling on.
"... Were the stuff we've been collecting still in there?" Willow asked.
"No, kept them all in separate bubbles inside Spice." Lucci answered. "...Where is he anyways? And Spinel for that matter?"
… They looked as the flaming pink lion, being ridden on by the lanky gem herself, walked out the wreckage with a 'done' look on his face, dropping on the ground and rolling until the flames went out, before falling unconscious with a light snore. "That was fun! Let's blow something else up!! A plane, a building, heck, make it an entire mountain!"
"... Ignoring the crazy gem who makes sure we have to keep one eye awake at night." For reasons beyond the fact Spinel didn't like Luz. "How durable is Spice?"
"Don't know, never actually seen him in a fight before." Lucci noted. "I'm just wondering what the heck crashed into the bus to begin with."
"Gaaahh …" They watched as what appeared to be a pharmacist walked out of a strange silvery car with rocket engines, shaking his head as he walked over to Sasha. "Sorry about that I um … was moving too fast to make out heads or tails of where I was going."
"....YOU MADE OUR RV EXPLODE!" Sasha shook the man violently!
"Ah, right, right." He nodded. "Don't worry, I'll call my insurance guys and have the mess sorted out." The man pulled out a phone, pausing. "Could I get your guys on the line too?"
"Why, it was your mess." Amity pointed out. "You crashed into us… and not to mention… YOU ALMOST GOT US KILLED!"
"Well excuse me for getting a little messy!" The pharmacist whined. "You can't perfect time travel without breaking a few eggs you know." He pointed to some kind of vehicle that looked like a giant sandwich for some reason. "Do you know how hard it is to break through the time stream with an old sandwich vendor? Not easy!"
"….So am I going to stab him or are you?" Luz asked Lucci.
"I want to save it for the next problem, feel free." He shrugged.
She nodded, pulling out her sword. "RAAAA!!"
"Aggh, don't hurt me! I gave up being evil, so any inators I could use right now would be too lethal!" Her girlfriend ran past the man, cutting apart his vehicle piece by piece, before it collapsed. "No, my time travel inator!" He screamed. "Curse you teenage girl with an oversized pink sword!"
"Don't mess with time!" Luz jumped on the man and began literally kicking his butt. "You! Do not! Mess! WITH TIME!"
"But I have too-aggh!" The man said as he collapsed! "It's my destiny-agggh!"
"Destiny is for chumps!" She continued kicking him.
Amity watched with a smile. Seemed like her girlfriend was having fun … time to join in, as couples do. "This is for nearly killing us with time travel!" She ran forward with an abomination chair.
"Wait wait wait!"
========================================================================
"Did you guys really have to spend a full hour beating him up?" Willow asked. "I feel twenty minutes was enough." Sure, he was doing something as stupid as messing with time travel, but the broken arm was probably enough to keep him from doing something stupid like that again.
"He was the nearest convenient punching bag and I needed to vent." Luz said, smiling as she looked WAY less stressed than she was on the bus. "I would've gone for two hours, but that Platypus in the fedora stopped us."
"... Not the weirdest thing on this trip." Gus nodded. "Then again, what could beat Death being nice, cicada people grown from dark matter, and imaginary friends?"
"I thought the Platypus was adorable." Vee cooed. "Strange, I never knew they could do so much."
"I was paying more attention to the flying hamster that was going over our heads." Lucci spoke up.
"What about the giant floating baby head?" Hunter shivered. "So disturbing...it kept staring into my soul."
"Honestly, I thought Spinel or Boscha just put something in our food without telling us." Willow shrugged. Some things were just too weird to be real.
"Are you kids forgetting that WE LOST OUR VAN!?" Sasha exclaimed furiously as they walked the streets
"We always lose our van, just put money into fixing it." Boscha shrugged.
"It exploded, you can't pay for something that isn't there anymore!" The adult woman groaned. "We're going to be stuck in this place for a while until I can get a new rental."
"I guess we'll head somewhere in the city for that … we could ask a bus driver." Luz said, stopping at a public bus stop. "They drive all over, they've gotta know the ins and outs right?"
"Public transportation…. great, this just gets better and better." Sasha groaned again.
"Come on, it can't be that bad." Gus shrugged. "Back in the Boiling Isles, all you had to worry about was if it hatched or not."
"Huh?" Sasha asked.
"Transportation Eggs. Really convenient, but they grow up to be carnivores." Willow clarified. "Plus the occasional salmonella outbreak, but that's why the titan created healing magic."
"... So much to process." The woman muttered as the bus rolled around, the door opening. "Excuse me, do you mind telling us which stop would have van rentals?"
"Southstreet, four stops down. Thirty bucks if you want me to take you all there."
"Thirty bucks?!" Sasha screamed again. Today was not the woman's day, was it? "That's outrageous!"
"Normally I'd charge five, but today's a Murphey day, so I got to collect collateral while I can."
"A Murphey what?" Willow asked.
"Trust me, it'll make sense in the end." They pointed to the back of the bus. They got onto the vehicle … and noticed how everyone seemed to be piled to the front, barring three kids sitting on the very back seats.
"Either we're about to end up in something bad or this is the most intolerant and exclusive town we've ever come across." Amity hummed as they walked through. "Three kids can't be that scary.." Willow and Lucci shot the purple haired girl a knowing look. "Right."
They paid the man, making their way over as they started catching the tail end of their conversation. "I'm telling you, the inside of a whale smells oddly like seals and baloney." The black one in the yellow shirt spoke.
"But seals aren't even native, how would their smell get in there?" The redheaded girl with a white jacket asked.
"When you mesh up enough shrimp, algae, lemon,and tuna, they can add up to perfect imitation seal meat." The kid with the backpack and sweater vest answered cheerfully. "Just like how enough mushrooms, onions, beef, and peanut butter makes a perfect imitation giraffe."
"I guess that makes sense … wait, where would a whale get a lemon?" The black boy asked.
"Wreckage?" Lucci asked as he took a seat. "Might have eaten it by accident."
"Hm, new face we've never seen, choosing to come close by choice… you're new to town, aren't you?" The red head observed with a smirk.
"A little bit." Luz answered. "We're looking for a probability matrix, and got told we'd find one around the Murphy family."
"What, like Murphy's law?" The kid in the sweater vest asked.
"That's what everyone keeps telling us, yes." Gus nodded. "Why, know something about it?"
"Not so much knows about it as much as he is it." The black kid snorted.
"... What?" Hunter asked.
"Milo Murphy." The kid held out his hand. "I'm a bit of a jinx. Anything that can go wrong, does."
"Oh come on." Vee said with a smile. "I doubt you're a jinx. You seem like such a nice guy, karma probably loves you."
The three of them stared at her for a moment, before Milo reached into his bag. "Alright, just grabbing my helmet."
"Please tell me you didn't snag the four year old one." The black kid looked into the bag.
"I've got a pink one with fire streaks."
"... I can work with it." He shrugged, strapping on a bike helmet.
"Word of advice if you're going to hang around here." The red head smirked as she put her own helmet on. "Never… ever say anything along the lines of 'karma love you' within twenty feet of a Murphy. Murphys Law is not something to be tempted."
Boscha rolled her eyes. "Oh we can handle a bit of bad luck."
Thud
The bus felt like it rolled over something. "... What was that?" Sasha asked.
"If I'm not mistaken …" Milo muttered. "It felt like a bottle that got broken by the first tire, and would move along until it cut the brake lines."
Pop
"Before cutting the rear tires as well." The bus began swerving to the side and going out of control.
"That was very specific!" Hunter exclaimed as everyone began to hang on for dear life.
"It's happened three times in the last month." Milo explained, not even looking the slightest bit uncomfortable. "What would be really bad if it was Tuesday, because that is when the gasoline and garbage trucks pass each other on the same route."
"It is Tuesday… flaming trash!" Willow exclaimed as it began to reign down on the streets. She pressed her hands down, making a ramp of vines as they flew into the air, everyone on the bus began screaming for their lives.
"Wait, did you just make a ramp out of plants?" The black kid asked.
"Not the time!" Lucci made a giant bubble to let them land safely, if still rolling out of control. "Amity!"
"I'm on it!" She pulled out an abomination spike, shoving it into the ground to slow down the bus.
"Um, not sure how you're doing that, but it's not the best idea." The red head spoke up. "The buses around here-"
Clink
"… Have a tendency for weak bolts." She said as the bus ripped in half, splitting the half of the bus they were on from the top half. "Weird day."
"Least we're not spiraling out of control now." Luz took in a deep breath.
"No, but you did park us at an intersection." The black kid pointed out. They all froze, slowly turning to the stop sign… which fell over from rust. "You'd think your dad would have noticed that on his weekend run."
"He was busy in the hospital. He forgot his coyote repellent at home." Milo shrugged.
Beep Beep
"Don't worry, I got this one." Gus snapped his neck, and created a giant red stop sign illusion in the middle of the street, one that was flashing red.
"Hey, isn't that David's car?" Milo asked.
"Yeah, the guy who thinks I have gray hair cause he's colorblind." The red haired girl spoke.
"Of course; it all comes down to me." Boscha rolled her eyes and sent a huge fireball at the car's engine, melting it instantly and stopping it in its place. "… We're done?"
"Depends if it's after two. That's when the squirrels around here really crave nuts." Milo began going through his backpack. "Don't worry, I packed extras, so I should have enough for everyone."
"Judging by how casually you're all taking this, I guess you three deal with this every day?" Luz observed.
"Yeah. Although we didn't get dragged into a collapsing sewer system this time, so that's nice." The black kid nodded. "And judging by your freaky powers and the fact you're not running for the hills, this is common for you guys too."
"It is, although usually the chaos we bring is a little more deliberate." Lucci nodded. "How do you live with this?"
"A positive attitude, and a backpack." Milo smiled. "Other people see inconvenience, I see an opportunity to live life to the fullest. After all, when life gives you lemons, you use a radioactive watermelon's acid to power a giant robot."
"…What is it with meeting overly optimistic people every time we go somewhere?" Willow asked out loud. "Charlie, Mabel, Mollie, it's like a trend."
"Because without them the world would stab itself with cynicism." Sasha said.
"So true." The red head smiled. "I'm Melessia, and this is Zack. Milo's best friends and the only ones outside of his family that can handle Murphy's law on a daily basis."
"Then you guys have to be super confident, don't you?" Lucci grinned.
Zack grinned. "I don't like to brag but-wait." He paused. "Milo, it's Tuesday."
"Yeah?"
"Squirrels are a Monday problem."
"Nice! Now I get to enjoy these pistachios." Milo dug in. "Anyone want some? They go extinct in about a hundred years, so better enjoy them now while you still can."
"… Tell me why that happens and who I need to kill to prevent that from happening?" Willow felt the urge to strangle someone.
"Well, originally it was two time travelers that tried to save the pistachios, but it turns out they mutate into evil people trying to kill everyone, so we had to put them down for their own good." Milo explained, munching on some more. "So until that day happens, we'll enjoy them for however long they last."
"Time travel… of course." Willow growled. "I think we should head back and beat up that pharmacist again."
"Maybe later, right now we have a quest to complete." Luz nodded. "So would it be too much trouble for us to collect a sample of your DNA, like a hair?"
"Sure." He plucked one hair off, handing it over to Hunter. "Here you go."
"Alright." The boy smiled. "Maybe this won't be so-"
"Chirp." … They turned their heads to a flock of doves.
"Riiight." Milo looked like he was remembering something. "Tuesdays are territorial dove day. Good thing you don't have any birds on you."
"Flapjack, you might want to fly us out of here right now!" Hunter exclaimed.
The birds rushed in, violently attacking the boy and his palisman, before flying away, leaving Hunter and Flapjack damaged on the ground, with the sample nowhere in sight.
"Hah! That alone makes the whole trip to earth worth it." Lucci snickered.
"Um, Lucci?" Luz asked. "If whatever has the DNA of this kid has his luck, how are we supposed to carry it?"
"…Fair point." The boy winced.
"It was probably just a fluke." Boscha walked up and plucked a hair. "See?" A rumbling was heard from the engine she set on fire …
Boom
Before it exploded, sending a glob of molten metal into her face, and on the hair. "Aaaaaaaaaah! My eyes!"
"Don't worry Angel, I have you covered!"
"That makes the entire trip worth it for me." Willow smiled, before turning to the two. "So if we can't even take a piece, how do you get haircuts?"
"I usually catch on fire enough to never need them." He answered. "That or blades cut near my scalp."
"I saved so much money on barbers." Mellisa smiled. "But yeah, if you're going to get that sample, ya gonna need to tackle it with a plan."
"Alright, how do you deal with your luck?" Gus asked.
"Murphy's law only works on whatever can go wrong." Milo explained. "So you just need to make sure whatever can ever go wrong, doesn't."
"But…that implies we need to account for everything that exists!" Amity screamed.
"Exactly." The kid nodded, pulling objects out of his bag. "I got mace, antivenom for every snake to exist, an anchor, fire extinguisher, three maps, a backup phone, a raft, hard hats, although that last one is just obvious."
"How deep is that bag?" Sasha asked.
"I stopped wondering after finding a fifty foot ladder." Zack shrugged.
Willow paused at that, turning to Lucci. "I think we found something deeper than Clawthorne hair."
"Challenge accepted." Lucci smirked, cracking his knuckles. "Alright, let's kick this 'Murphy law' in the ass!"
"Hey, I think your spike lost its potency." Mellisa said as they began rolling again.
"…it's just going to be one of those days; isn't it?" Luz sighed.
========================================================================
Milo showed off his backyard. "Welcome to my house."
"Your house has a fallen tree in it." Willow pointed out.
"Don't worry, after the earthquake from when I was a kid, we made sure to always get insurance for anything." Was cheaper than just disaster proofing the house. "And we have dr. D for any of the really bad damages that get too out of control. He's staying here until destiny comes and lets him invent time travel."
The man came back in crutches and a cast. "What happened Doof?" Zack asked.
"You won't believe this, a teenage girl with a comically oversized sword came out of nowhere and …" He turned to their new friends. "… AAAAHHH!" He began hobbling away.
"You're not getting off that easily!" Willow began charging at the man. "You'll pay for making pistachios go extinct!"
"They tried to kill us all!" He screamed out as she punched him through a wall.
"I'm sure they just need time to talk out their differences." Milo nodded. "So how do we do this? We only managed to contain Murphy's law one time, and that was more along the lines of redirecting the effects of it."
"I say give it to Lucci." Amity said. "He can survive anything life throws at him."
"Yeah, he's way too stubborn to die…no matter how much some people want him to." Hunter grumbled.
"I guess it's a talent." He smirked, plucking one of Milo's hairs. He better not get a bald spot from this. Picture day's next week. "Alright, I have the hair, and nothing-"
Crash
A helicopter landed on the boy. "AAAAHHHH!" He, Zack, and Mellisa screamed in horror. Murphy's law was bad, sure, but usually you got some warning before it tried to kill you!
"Relax, he'll pop up in a second." Amity didn't even flinch along with the rest of her friends as she raised her hand. "Five, four, three.."
A pink bubble emerged from the metal, getting brushed off to the side as Lucci, part of his body on fire but looking none for wear for the most part, walked out of the rubble with part of the blade still in his back. "So that was unpleasant, but livable."
"What about the hair?" Luz asked as if that wasn't a big deal.
"I got it right here." He held up his hand, holding into the strand…which was in flames and turning to ash. "... I don't know what I was expecting there, but I think my infinite love of flames has been slightly diminished for once."
"Told yah." Melisa smirked. "We can't even have eggs around him without them cracking."
"…Excuse me, I have to go put something fragile and delicate far, far, far away from this place." Luz got up and ran off.
"So no matter what we do, every time one of us tries to hold it, Murphy's law destroys it the second we try to get away." Gus stated as he began writing down on a whiteboard. "So far that's included fire, cars, helicopters, and birds."
"Yeah… so it's not a matter of whether or not whoever holds it can survive, more so if that person can keep the hair safe." Amity noted. "Lucci is still the best candidate, but now we have to put extra focus on keeping the hair intact rather than Lucci himself."
"How do we protect a piece of hair?" Hunter asked. "If Milo's right, we could face anything between lightning strikes, floods, earthquakes, or the Diamond's showing up to blast us out of existence."
"Or every ride we ever have breaks down the instant we get on it." Sasha pointed out.
"Are there any open and empty fields that are available?" Willow brought up. "Maybe a nearby forest, worst case scenario the trees fall on him, and I stop them before they happen."
"The closest we got is coyote woods, but don't worry, only wolves live there." Milo reassured.
"... Then why are they called coyote woods?" Hunter asked.
"Because … actually why is that?" Zack asked.
"I think it used to be a coyote preserve back in the day, but closed down for some unknown reason." Melissa answered with a confused look herself.
"Oh yeah, my great grandfather used to work there." … Everyone turned to Milo. "... Okay, now I'm putting it together."
The curly haired boy rolled his eyes. "Whatever the case. It's our best bet. Operation 'overcome the law' is a go!" Lucci shouted, tapping the fence, which spun and hit him in the back of the head. "… Starting now."
Houston we got ourselves a, situation ….
Our problems have just gone through an, inflation …
They started by placing a piece of hair in a wooden box, locking it up with a smile, before a swarm of termite tore it apart. "That one was probably a little too obvious." Luz groaned.
"If wood won't work, how about rock?" Boscha suggested as Lucci began carving a cage from it. "Can't be eaten, and the hair won't get crushed."
"Oh yeah, that might work." Amity smiled as they plucked another one of his hairs, placing it inside and sealing it up … only for it to start raining, causing the cage to slowly break apart. "... If we don't take erosion into effect."
"What the hell kind of rain do you have in this town for it to erode that fast?" Willow groaned.
"We live in Illinois, it's a tornado state." Milo said as he pulled out the emergency gear. "Anyone want a giant weight so we don't immediately get sucked up by the wind?"
"Nah, We survive Lucci's Bard Gornadoes all the time, I think we'll be good." Gus waved a hand.
Buddy you better believe we're coming at this with trepidation!
Or we'll be hit with a dangerous sensation!
"Wait a second, I've got a solution." Lucci grinned as he wrapped the hair in a bubble. "Just need to wrap a shield around it and-" … Before a soccer ball hit the back of his hand, making him tap the bubble as it disappeared. "Where did that come from!?"
"Sorry, forgot to mention there's an old abandoned soccer ball factory right next to the woods." Milo mentioned.
"You can make bubbles teleport by touching them?" Zack asked.
"It's a bit of a homing thing, though it's limited because it can't transport the living, and it can only go to one place." Lucci paused. "Shit, I hope that doesn't inconvenience mom."
"Hey, she only got the tail end. We're standing with the source." Boscha pointed out.
It's a conundrum of calamities! (Oooh, oooh)
And it's dragging down our sanities! (Oooh, oooh)
"Maybe it's speed." Luz thought. "Hunter, try warping and flying as fast as you can, see if you can outrun the dangers."
"Come on, this is just going to get me struck by lightning." Hunter complained. "The moment I stop mid warp, lighting is going to strike the second before I warp again."
"Nah, rain cleared out and the sun's shining." Melissa brought up. "Chances of lightning strikes are now only thirty percent."
Milo smelt the ozone in the air, pulling out a lightning rod and tossing it away as it got zapped. "There. Now it's ten percent. Lighting always follows the path of least resistance, so it'll hit the rod instead of you."
"Which means we can take it with no problem." Willow took the hair.
"Comin through!" A car his dad was driving broke through the trees, hitting the lightning rod and launching it into Willow's arms. "See you at home Milo."
"Son of a-"
Zaaaap
"Why does your dad even have a license?" Sasha glared. "That's like asking for trouble."
"Just because bad things happen when you drive doesn't mean you don't have the skills or knowledge to not drive." Milo shrugged. "Also the people at the DMV will do anything to keep us away from taking the test every month."
We're livin in calamity! (Oooh, oooh)
In a hodgepodge of abnormality! (Oooh, oooh)
While looking at the board trying to figure out an idea, Boscha's crab went on his hand and snipped off a fingernail when he wasn't paying attention, looking like it was ready to reach for Luz …
Only for a raccoon to tackle the sea creature right into the other palismans, making them tumble into a hornets nest, which began to chase them all over. "For once the palisman get Karma for their hatred of Luz." Gus noted. "I'm not sure how to feel about that."
"Murphy's law is a jerk, but it's not heartless." Melissa shrugged. "Pretty sure the Murphys wouldn't be able to have kids if that wasn't the case."
"Oh maybe having kids is how it's being a jerk." Hunter brought up. "By having children; your only making more Murphy's, meaning more chaos that will be spread throughout their lives and anyone that ever gets close."
"… Nah, I choose to see it in a lighter way." Milo shrugged. Life was cruel, but it didn't seem malicious.
How are we gonna solve this puzzle?
When we keep getting chased by dogs with no muzzle!
"Vee, maybe you can suck whatever makes it bad luck, then we can put it in before it gets Destroyed."
"If I do that, wouldn't it just make it null and moot since we're trying to carry the bad luck itself?" Vee asked. "That's not even getting into the fact I don't actually smell any magic from him."
"According to two recent new friends of ours, it's negative probability ions covering my body." Milo explained. "In space we met Orgalorg, who had like, ten times Murphy's law on her."
"Like we said, Murphy's law is mainly redirected rather than contained, or spread out and distributed." Zack added.
"What about that pharmacist guy? If he's making time travel, can he make something that at least directs the bad luck?" Willow asked.
"Didn't you knock him out violently with a wooden bat?" Melissa reminded her.
"Pfft, that's nothing." Lucci waved off. "I could heal him in five seconds."
"Hey Lucci!" A pink stretchy woman laughed. "I was playing with that pharmacist, now he's rolling down the street into some random part of town!"
It's just one thing after, another!
Like when you get a call from your ,mother!
"Wait a minute…that's it!" Amity exclaimed. "Spinel! We can have her wrapped herself around the hair like a ball, and her spongey nature will protect it from any damage!"
"Oh, I get to be a ball!" She shouted, grabbing the object and wrapping it up. "This is gonna be awesome!" A bird flew overhead, dropping a sharp rock.
Crack
That landed on a pink rock, causing her to look like she was glitching out of existence as the hair fell to the ground, swallowed up by a wandering mole. "Fu-fu-funnn win a priiize?"
It's a conundrum of calamities! (With no luck, you'll be awestruck, when you're run over by a duck, with a giant truck)
And it's dragging down our sanities! (This big old disaster has a cruel old master and here comes the broadcaster from the old town pastor)
"Spinel!" Lucci ran to the pink girl and licked his hand. "Hang on-"
Shick
A knife was thrown into his hand. "…Let me guess, there's an abandoned knife factory around here too?"
"No, that's ridiculous." Milo waved off. "There's a cooking school like five feet away."
"Screw it, I'm just going to go all the way here." Lucci jumped on top of the gem. "Hold on Spinel, we're gonna fuse!" Everything began glowing
We're livin in calamity! (Always with the problems, and falling columns, while we're playing slaloms in the astroblemes)
In a hodgepodge of abnormality!
"I'll say it, is anyone going to question the band?" Hunter asked, pointing to some singers.
"We've been spotted! Scatter!"
"They only come by whenever I can't provide my own musical accompaniment." Milo answered.
"Paaarty!" The pink lady screamed as Lucci somehow….disappeared into her.
"I'm starting to think you guys, and hear me out on this, may not be completely human." Milo suspected.
"Oh what gave it away? The pink skin, pointy ears, and the fact we openly said we do magic?" Amity said in a rather sarcastic manner
"I thought the pink skin was a tan?" Zack asked.
"I could have sworn the pointy ears were a fashion statement." Melissa said.
"... Why do we disguise ourselves again?" Willow asked. "Like, I feel like it's become redundant by this point when we keep running into people that won't hate us for it."
Honk honk
"Let's focus less on that and more on avoiding that pickup truck heating right for us!" Zack yelled as everyone scattered.
========================================================================
Desert Rose grinned as they looked up at the world. "Goood morning, you beautiful day. A pleasure to be back and kickin." They jumped up. "What did we miss?"
Crash
"Apparently, not this truck!" They laughed as it slammed into them, flattening the fusion into the ground like a pancake. Appreciate that we can't feel pain too much in this form. Who needs pain when we have fun? True. Are we still holding onto that piece of hair?Dropped it over there, has a hole so I think something took it.
They stretched a finger, plucking another hair as they took it and wrapped it up. "Looks like this little doodle is in my grasp." They chuckled with the laugh track, even as the pick up truck's contents fell out, spilling acid all over Desert Rose. "Oh, nice warm bath, it's doing wonders for my pores."
"Not so much hair though!" Luz yelled at them, pointing to the hands and noting the bow simmering pile that was in their hands.
"Woopsie doodle." They plucked another hair, this time shape shifting their hand to completely envelop it. "Now it's completely indestructible, bring it on universe!"
"Watch out!" The man who drove the truck shouted. "That acid is flammable!"
Sasha began screaming. "WHY IS ACID FLAMMA-"
Boom
"What a ride!" Desert Rose chuckled as they went soaring into the sky, closing in on the town. "Boing, Boing, Boing, Boing!" They transformed into a ball and hit all the buildings and cars like they were a living pinball machine. "Ahhhaha! A hundred points! We should go for a world record."
"Desert!" Hunter shouted, pointing to the local zoo. "We're about to crash!"
"Correction, we're about to meet animal friends!" They shouted with glee as they flew inside. "Now what looks more fun? The piranha tank, the bear exhibit, ooh, the poison dart frog habitat looks like a lovely place to visit."
"Personally, the piranha tank isn't that exciting." Milo said as he rode on their back. "Nothing in there but water and fish that eat everything else." Now why can't all your friends be more like this guy, he gets it, and he doesn't complain when he's 'about to die', pfft, like that's an excuse. I think he doesn't complain because he doesn't have a choice.
They bounced on top of the bear, shooting around trees and into the air. "What a spectacular show! Is that all you got universe!?"
"Plane!" Willow screamed.
"Stop taunting Murphy's law!" Zack screamed from Gus's back.
"Don't worry, I've gotta plan! I saw it in a cartoon, so it's bound to work!" They took in a deep breath, and inflated themselves up, aimed their mouth up at the sky, and let it all out, forcing them to go downward.
"HOW IS MAKING US FALL AT MACH 1 SPEED BETTER!?" Luz shouted.
"Because now we don't have to eat airline food." They laughed.
"Hah, airline food!" Milo laughed. "It's funny for some reason." See, these are the type of people you should be friends with Lucci. Much better than no funners like Amity and Vee, or ditchers like Luz. Hey, Amity can be plenty fun, and Luz never ditched me before-
"Guys?" Amity asked. "You're starting to split up."
"Hehheh, sorry folks FOR THE technical difficulties, we'll proceed with our regular scheduled funtime shortly!" Right, of course, can't have an argument or we'll defuse. So just say I'm right and we can keep having fun like this till the sun sets, maybe even later.
"Truck full of chinese finger traps!" Milo shouted.
"Why does your town have so many trucks!?"
"We're an economically convenient town, we have trucks for everything." Milo explained as they crashed into it, finally making them stop bouncing as everyone got tangled up in it. "Oooh wow, they have finger traps in every size. From toddler to mutated giants."
"Then I guess they don't have it snake sized!" They laughed as they shrunk down, trying to escape the tangled mess. Wait, we still need to hold onto the hair! Relax, it's still within sight, right on top of the sewer grate.
A sewer grate that busted upwards as water sprouted from it like a geyser. "They've gotta start labeling the pipes down there." Melissa muttered.
Alright, just mindlessly bouncing everywhere isn't going to get us anywhere. We jump up there, and we defuse. I throw you at sample, you turn into a ball and cover it AND your gem, and I just keep bouncing you on hand. Sounds super fun best buddy!
"And a one and a two, and ahh-" A power line hit them. "A one and a two and a.." A piano struck them down at the same time. "Oh I'm just going for it!"
========================================================================
Boscha panted as they reached the end of town. "Why … were there … so many … billboards?"
"We have…a lot… of business…" That Zack kid huffed as he leaned against the town wall.
"Murphy's law was pretty bad today …" Milo panted. "I don't think it wants to be taken."
"Well sucks for it then!" Her crystal held the Spinel ball up high, even when a tire was being thrown at his head. "The Clawthornes have never met a law they couldn't break….and saying that out loud makes the whole thing with LAW as kids darkly ironic."
"Wait, have we been helping out criminals?" That Melissa kid asked.
"Sort of, but we're only criminals for the fact we fought against a tyrannical genocidal monarchy." Luz brought up as her hair was on fire. "Why does your town transport so much dynamite and nitroglycerin?"
"I'm pretty sure it was just this time." Milo said. "Usually it's oil slicks, fatty foods, and ravenous wasps."
"Alright, marking down this town on the 'do not return to' list alongside Endsville and Paris." Gus winded as he was covered in tapioca pudding.
"Sorry Milo, we think you're a cool and nice guy …" Vee said as she picked salt water taffy from her hair. "But we can't survive being around you, it's already tough enough without luck punching us constantly."
"That's alright. Murphy's Law isn't for everyone." Milo smiled cheerfully. "It's not an easy life, but it's my life, and I love living in it. Just glad you were able to cross to our side of town for us to help you."
"Weird way to phrase it, but alright." Amity nodded. "Lucci, you still got the hair?"
"More than that, I got in a bubble, and I'm ready for transport! Now all we need is.." A pink and tired looking lion strolled up behind the boy. "Spice, just the feline I was looking for."
"Pink Lions? Now that's just ridiculous." Milo snorted.
"Compared to a blue lion?" Melissa asked.
"Because a pink lion with a mane means it's a guy growing pink. And where's the pride for something like that?"
"Grrr." Spice just rolled on the ground lazily for his response.
"And in you go!" Lucci shoved the bubble into Spice's mane. "And we're good."
"We SURE that's the safest place to put it?" Luz asked
"Luz, it's an alternate dimension that only I have access to." He said. "At worst the tree inside falls over." Lucci assured. "Ain't that right Spice?"
"Grr-" The lion stopped growling, it's eyes going wide as it's pupils shrunk to small pricks.
"Yeah….so what happens when a probability matrix meets a ball of dark matter?" Hunter asked out loud.
An almost static like charge of purple energy began extending from it, causing their hair to stand up on end as the lion began tumbling around, gagging like it had a hairball stuck in its throat. "Kak, Kak, Kak."
"Spice, are you okay?" Lucc tried to approach.
"Since when does he choke on anything?" Vee wondered.
"Kak, Kak." It continued gagging as its mouth began to glow brighter. "... RAAA!" Before a wave of energy shot out, blasting past them all and destroying some building in the distance. "RAAAAA!!" The lion moved its head around, destroying anything it's mouth was aimed at, tumbling around in what sounded like agony.
"Okay Spice, that's it, I'm taking the hair out of you-!" Lucci went to reach for the mane-
"RAAAAAAAAAAAH!"
He shot into the sky as i̸̺̝͗̔̄ẗ̸̯͙́͑ ̴͔͒̐w̴̤͖̆̈́͋ä̸͇͋s̶͉̥̯̔̐̽ ̵̘̼̐̏t̴̜͈̍̊o̶̢̯͔̊r̷̡̬̯̃͛ñ̷͔̃͂ ̶͚͈͐̃͝ą̷̌͝s̷͉͌s̵̤͕̤̈́͊̄ü̵̘n̴͕̆d̸̥́ë̴̙̼́͜r̵̺̃́̊
"LUUUCCCCIIII-!" Boscha's cries drowned out as everything went dark.