Summary:
How to make a portal, and how to make it wrong ...
Gus watched as Luz flipped through the book. "Come on come on come on." Lucci chanted desperately.
"I'm trying to speed read as fast as I can Lucci, it's pretty hard to read both the old timey language and your womb doner's love life." Luz countered as she continued to move through pages. "That woman had way too much fun using her shapeshifting powers for romance. This is starting to feel more like an erotic novel." Nobody needed to hear that, gah. "Although there IS a constant mention of needing to repress the urge of burning the church down and punching out clergy that tried to hunt down witches and innocent women."
"So she at least didn't let old creeps and perverts off the hook." Boscha noted. "Anything relating to the portal yet?"
"Getting there … couple of failed portals … randomness of titan blood and moon phases, dreams of a three way with Caleb and Evelyn …"
"Seriously, keep the smut to yourself." Hunter winced.
"Aha!" She shouted. "One diagram to make a full, working, portal to the Boiling Isles!" Finally! " 'After five months of scouring the globe, I have finally narrowed down the ingredients necessary for creating a gateway to the boiling isles. Philip had gotten rather impatient, but at the very least he has been willing to wait it out. I can only hope he won't do anything too rash upon reuniting with his brother." … That was gonna go horribly wrong.
"Right, cause she trusted that maniac." Hunter rolled his eyes. "So what's the first thing we need? A special flower? A drop of her tears?"
"First, a Spatial Coordinate Grid is needed to lock onto the specific realm we seek."
"A what now?" Vee asked.
"Think of it as a gps." Luz said. "It's why I couldn't fully enter the human realm the first time and got stuck in the in-between realm."
"So we need a really complex device to lock onto the realm …" Amity said. "Alright, shouldn't be too hard to build if we get all the gems together. As long as the other ingredients are simple."
"Next is The Sands of Father Time to prevent the portal from traveling through the wrong time, and ending in either the far past or distant future."
"Sand?" Gus asked. "How can sand stop us from being flung a thousand years into the past?"
"And who the heck is 'father time'?" Willow asked.
"The cultural embodiment of time itself." Luz answered. "Kinda like a force of nature …"
"So we need to meet a time wizard?" Lucci raised his eyebrow. "Where are we supposed to get one of those?"
"Where the heck did Rose get one?" Luz asked. "This list already makes no sense so far."
"Maybe the next one will be easy." Hunter took the book himself, looking it over. " One would need to gather a Probability matrix next. The chances of complete failure are all to high, so something to balance out the chances for success is needed to stop murphy's law from rearing its ugly head."
"So now we need to somehow make a thing that literally makes every possible failure that can happen in our lives zilch!?" Lucci shouted. "We could have literally used that since we were born!"
"That still doesn't narrow down exactly what the tangible thing is." Amity groaned. "I'm starting to think this is some kind of gag list just to mess our heads."
"They can't all be-"
"Stop it!" Boscha shouted. "Every time we've said that, the next object is just as difficult!" Fair enough.
"Too late. The next item I know for sure is impossible. A cup of Dark Matter. " Luz banged her head against the wall.
"Dark what?" Hunter questioned. "So are they asking for a black rock or something?"
"Nope." She chuckled. "You know the black stuff in space? THAT'S Dark Matter! It's at the edge of the fucking universe!"
"Well we do have a rocket, if not only impossible to get." Vee pointed out.
"Come on, something small, something small." Gus took the book. "A piece of an Elder Deity."
"Fuuuuuuuuuck!" Willow kicked the ground. "Okay, Lucci's womb donor is definitely just trolling us now. What are chances were going to run into a god… without breaking time?"
"Does it even LIST what god she used?" Boscha asked. "As an example we're not being fucked with?"
"Let's see…says she had a one night stand with Poseidon.."
"I said to skip the smut!" Hunter yelled.
"Poseidon is a god here." Luz sighed. "Of the ocean …" She paused. "Maybe Lapis could help us on that one."
"Just keep going." Willow looked it over next. "A Mind lock to prevent the mind from slipping in warp. Notable side effects without one include hearing voices and being magnetically drawn to portals, seeking a 'realm between realms' to call home."
"Yeah, rather not repeat that again if i can help it." Lucci groaned. "Anything else to note?"
"Spectral essence." Boscha read off. "Wait…ectoplasm? The ingredients involve ectoplasm? In a world where ghosts aren't supposed to exist?"
"So either Rose is trolling us, or this is the effort needed for a world without Titan's Blood." Gus said aloud.
"Would it really be a surprise that my womb donor would do this?" Lucci rolled his eyes. "A lifetime of screwing people over, she just had to make sure she got one more kick in before biting the dust."
"I don't think she'd be this elaborate." Amity said, looking the pages over. "There's too much detail on all of these schematics. And it said one of their failed attempts led to a world of 'snobby newts'." So Amphibia?
"Looks like we have put this on the back burner until we get more details." Luz sighed. "Until then, no use in putting off the tests. Lucci, you and I need Glyphon to power up these new glyph combos for the portal. The rest of you should help Amity get more supplies. This is going to be another all nighter."
"Who's going to hold the crazy devils back?" Boscha pointed to the two Centipeetles staring at Flapjack intently.
"As long as I still have chaps on and watch them, they're not going to lay a scratch on anything." Luz said with a determined glare.
"Then come on, let's go." Amity grabbed the three eyed girl and began dragging them.
"I can walk on my own."
"I know, I'm just taking you away before you complain about being away from Lucci." Maybe Gus should go slowly.
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Sasha took a sip of tea. "You know, with my friends in town, I really thought we'd have a better handle on things." Anne tried to chaperone the school dance to keep a lookout, but apparently got chloroformed by 'Jacob'. Marcy was supposed to be on security from the outside, but got knocked into a ditch. "Truly sorry I couldn't do more."
"It's fine. Asking anyone to do more than they can is impossible in this situation." Mrs. Noceda sighed as she sat across from her. "I've come to realize that asking the kids to stay safe is impossible. The situation…it's just so big for them…I don't know how anyone could handle it
"It's a tough one, I'll give them that." Anne did her best to try and smooth things over with the police … but there was only so much that could be done. Not to mention since this Jacob was 'dead' there was nobody to search for, meaning Belos can pick anyone he pleases now. "How are you taking it all? You seem a lot more open minded than last time."
"Truthfully…I'm still terrified for her, for all her friends. For their emotional and mental well-being as well as their health." The woman sighed. "But telling them to stay safe and stay out of it wouldn't do anything. The man is chasing them directly, there isn't a way to run from it." Camila wiped her face. "And..and I don't know what to do here. I'm still new to the world of magic and demons. I can't do anything more than be there, but what good is that going to do when there's a monster blasting death magic at them!?"
"Hey, the fact you can be here at all is amazing." Sasha reassured her. "Not everyone has that kind of strength to stick through it."
"Thank you … although I'm not going to stick around forever …" The woman rubbed her stomach. "Not when someone else is on the way …" Oh … that was news.
"When are you expecting? Nine months?"
"I'm three months in." Camila sighed. "And I'm not against having another one…but..the way it happened was less than ideal."
"Its cool. I've had my share of shitty ex's before." Sasha laughed. "So have you broke the news to anyone else yet?"
"Just my daughter, though I'm starting to regret that choice." The woman groaned. "If I could've helped it, I wouldn't have told Luz about it all. She has too much to worry about to think about a baby."
"…So repressing important news and emotions is a hereditary trait."
"I thought you were off the clock?"
"I was, what you just said put me back on." Sasha shook her head."You and Luz, you're so much alike it's not even funny."
"Yeah … I see so much of her at my age." The woman sighed. "Manny was the only one who liked me for me … it got to the point even the school tried to tell me I was a threat to the other students."
"…A threat? A threat for what?" Sasha raised an eyebrow. "Did you set the school on fire or something?"
"No, I wore my cosmic frontier costume to school one time and accidently tripped the fire alarm."
"….That's not a threat so much as a clumsy mistake." She pointed out.
"True … Luz has it worse though." She sighed. "She brought live snakes and spiders to school … not to mention fireworks to use indoors." Since when was that a bad thing? Sasha's old principal never got mad over things like that. "I didn't have friends just for what I said … Luz had to deal with so much more …" Camila groaned. "People are the worst."
"They can be." Sasha agreed. "It can be a lifetime until we can find people that understand you, if at all. Though something tells me Luz has already found her place."
"Yeah…Is that what I'm going to have to do?" Camila asked her. "Give up my daughter so she can live in an entirely different dimension?"
"We can't always mama bird our children. They have to fly away at some point." Sasha told her. "You've taken a lot of steps to understand your daughter. When you're ready to talk about it with her personally, that's when you'll know you'll be able to make that hard decision."
"Thank you …" Camila said. "I know this is hard for you to deal with."
"Like I said, it's my pleasure to help." And this family needed all they could get. "Just know whatever help you or the kids need, I'll be here."
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"Okay, plant on the outer edge to form a stable base, ice to absorb excess energy, and light and fire combine for a piercing power straight through to another universe, and covering it all is the pink glyphs for an extra oomf." Luz listed off. "All amplified with Glyphon's bubbles, who will channel all the energy into our new experimental, and hopefully non-soul damning, glyph."
"It won't be … probably." Lucci waved off. "All we need is to think of the Isles and clear our minds that should let us lock on without any problems."
"Or send us four months back in time." Luz pointed out. "Because all we can imagine is the last time we saw it."
"Actually that would be ideal, since that would give us a better chance at finding everyone we know before something … though if we do then I guess all the letters I sent to mom would be pointless." Lucci sighed. "I wish time travel never existed. Life just gets too complicated when it's around."
"Preach." Luz nodded as she finished setting it up. "So we just have to fuse now …" Where every thought gets shared … "Hey Lucci … can we talk?" She asked. "No work, just talk." Better to get everything out before blindsiding him with an info dump.
"Sure. I actually could unwind for a bit. Did you know DC made like a dozen crossover comics with looney tunes? Surreal stuff."
"Oh yeah, Warner Brothers goes crazy when they want to." She went to the snack fridge, pulling out a lion licker and a chapp bag, moving back and handing him the former as she sat down on a bean bag. "So … I talked with mom." Luz started off soft.
"Oh, so you told her about the time travel stuff?"
"No.."
"The full details about crystal devils and Bismuth?
"No…"
"The cluster and the diamonds and how pearl is an unforgivable bit-"
Luz had to stop this before it went on forever. "She started the conversation."
"Ooooooh…" Lucci nodded. "She's not putting you back in school, is she? Because between Amber, Connie, and Kevin, I'm thinking most human teenagers are spawns of the underworld."
"No … no not that." She sighed. "It's … she's having another kid." Luz explained.
"You're going to have a little sibling? That's great news." Lucci smiled. "I'm happy you get to have more family."
"Yeah….they'll technically be…yours too.." And the bombshell was dropped.
Lucci blinked at that, before groaning. "Why would she plant a tree with that jerk?"
Luz groaned, not wanting to get into the nitty gritty of why that sentence was wrong. "I don't know, she was drunk when it happened,and sometimes you plant trees with the wrong people."
"Say no more, Mom's done stupid stuff with Apple Blood." Lucci admitted. "... Man, sperm donors just ruin everything." He paused. "Ah, no offense to your dad Luz."
"I understand, he was one of the few good adults out of everyone we met." She admitted. "Lucci, I don't expect you to grow attached, and I understand if you don't.."
"I'll help however I can." He said.
"I know you would reject it-wait what?"
"Luz, I'm going to see them as your sibling, and you're already my sister." He said. "Besides, if I don't help, I'd be no better than my sperm donor."
"I … thanks." She smiled.
"Anytime … besides, who else is going to teach them to break the law? You're still a novice at breaking rules the right way."
"Ahhh…"
"Wow, another little sibling. Me and King grew up as babies together, but this'll be the first time I've can truly embrace the big bro title."
"I would say you're King's big brother, but sometimes he's the most mature one out of all of us." Luz laughed.
"I think titans just age weirdly compared to everyone else." Lucci shrugged. "Just think about it. You can teach them all about art, I'll tell them about music. You teach them about swords, i'll teach them how to steal and pickpocket-"
Well he instantly loved the idea, gushing about how great it was gonna be … which made this next part even harder. "Lucci." She didn't know what her tone sounded like, but the boy stopped instantly. "You know I love my mom right?"
"Yeah … she raised you, I get it. I wouldn't give mine up for any-" Lucci paused.
She let the silence sit for a moment. "I can't leave her to raise a kid alone, Lucci."
He continued to stare at her, looking at her with an expression she couldn't quite read, before shaking his head. "So we going to fuse or what?"
"… Yeah, I'm ready." She said all she needed to say. She tossed her half eaten chaps to the Centipeetles before taking his hand. "I'm sorry-"
"You know, Spice hasn't gone to the boiling isles." Lucci interrupted as he pulled her in close. "I want to take him there. But he likes the human world, so he'll probably come right back here." He snorted. "Guess I'll have no choice but to follow him here when he does."
"… I guess you will." It was nice that she could still be friends with at least one kid from the Boiling Isles when this was all over. "I'm glad I met you, bro."
"Same here, sis. Same here."
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The portal was a failure, but that was the last thing on Lucci's mind. Luz was staying here … on earth.
It made sense, it's not like they planned on it being forever originally. At first it was just supposed to be a ruse for camp, she'd head back when the hot season was over, maybe visit every now and then in secret. Then the portal was destroyed and she stayed longer.
So much had happened in those four months Luz was stuck in the boiling isles. They survived Belos together, ,Crystal devils, Time travel, their first girlfriends. So much happened…and Lucci completely forgot it wasn't a permanent situation. Luz was his sister…but Eda wasn't her mom. Mrs Noceda was, and Mrs Noceda belonged on earth…which meant…Luz…be…be..
Lucci couldn't even think about that without choking up. "Stupid stupid stupid." He chided himself. 'We're not taking in a pet Lucci, you'll get attached when we eventually have to eat it'. Mom's sarcastic voice rang through his head. Luz was more than a pet though, and only four percent of his brain thought about eating her early on.
And what about Amity? There was no way she saw either Amity or Luz breaking things off.So Amity would probably have to say goodbye to her fa-… Oh right, she really didn't like anyone in her family that much … guess she'd just say goodbye to them and live with Luz in the human world despite the law coming after them … which would make Luz super guilty. Damn you vicious cycles.
Seems like the best option they had was the Spice way, which had one or two holes in it. Mainly Spice being too lazy to listen to him. Also probably being incapable of jumping through worlds because they had never tested that before.
Gaaahhh! Thinking about this was just too stressful! Lucci needed to sleep and think on it when he was in a better mood. He closed his eyes, resting on the roof as he slowly slid into the realm of dreams. He never really got comfortable sleeping in the basement, too much human junk gives him nostalgia.
He opened his eyes … and groaned. "Hello again … Dogcopter." He growled, moving a checker piece.
"You don't have to be so snippy. I'm just the part of your brain trying to help out." The dog answered as he moved his piece. "You were able to stop your friends from experiencing traumatizing nightmares."
"Yes … and you failed to inform me that I'd lose out on sleep for it." He countered, playing the game. "I would have cut out Hunter if I knew that."
"Suuure you would." They responded.
"Awfully sarcastic for someone in fruit range." Lucci pointed to the tree that held his bottled rage. "So unless you have actual useful advice for once, you'll stop being a douche and give me straight answers."
"You just have to suck all the fun out of life, don't you?"
"You know how I feel about Oracle magic." He countered.
"Fine fine … why don't you take a lookie into the collective conscious?" They asked, pointing to the ocean.
"And why would I ever be interested in that?" Lucci asked rhetorically.
"Justification." He blinked at that. "Justification for an action you're just itching for." The dog smirked. "Something no one will blame or judge you for."
"…You better hope I don't regret this, or else I'm sticking those coconuts down every hole." He threatened one last time before gazing at the water.
And it…It was nothing. Lucci sighed as he kicked the water, watching his reflection ripple out … and shift … and warp, eventually forming into … "The Portal Door?" He asked.
"Your empathic powers work more on just people." Dog copter said from behind him. "The cabin is a place you've formed a connection with. You can tap into that connection and see what the cabin sees, past and present."
Curious, he tapped the water again, watching as it rippled, the door looking like it was breaking apart … into cut pieces rather than bites . "What the …"
"The Centipeetles destroying the door was the obvious answer. That doesn't mean it was the right one." Dogcopter explained.
They always thought it was them because of proximity and acid … but if someone was smart enough to get in close and use that acid and aim it … then … "I need to wake up." He turned to the mental manifestation. "How do I wake up fast?"
"Experiencing a night terror. Like so." Dog copter shook their head, as the ground shook and a giant red muscly looming head popped out of the ground.
Killed us killed us MonsterMonsterMontsterdiamomd!"It shouted at him before it came down on him.
"Aahhhh"Lucci jumped from the mat … and down into the house, ending up in the kitchen as he panted hysterically. "... Why was it giant and red?" He asked aloud. At least the 'killed us' and 'diamond' made sense.
"Lucci!" He heard Luz call his name, followed by other footsteps. "I heard you shout, what-why is there a hole in my house?"
"No time to explain, we need to get to the cabin asap!" Lucci exclaimed.
"No, please don't tell me the Centipeetles are melting it again." Boscha groaned.
"That's the thing; it's not the Centipeetles fault…I don't think it ever was." Lucci made his way to the door. "But whoever it is will suffer a thousand lifetimes for it."
=======================================================================
"Get get." Pearl shoved off the corrupted gem. While she'd rather they just be bubbled, it did provide a helpful opportunity to use. She looked at her acid covered spear, tilting it around to keep the liquid on.
This was, quite frankly,the only sane option she had. She had come to see that getting closer to Lucifer on a personal level wasn't something she would achieve anytime soon. The boy was simply too stubborn, but Pearl was patient. She could wait a hundred or so years to break the ice with him.
As long as he one day devoted himself to earth instead of that retched realm, it would all work in the end. "Now … one step at a time …" She pulled back her spear.
"Pearl!?" She heard the voice of one of her former pupils as Pearl instinctively blocked the sword coming her way, continually blocking consecutive blows. "It was you the whole time!!?"
Okay, this looked bad, she would tell the others. Either she put down Luz for good, or tried to justify her actions in some way or form. "Look, just stop to think about it for a minute-"
"You self righteous, self centered, s elf serving bitch!" Lucifer exclaimed,a flash of pink glowing in front of her as she was knocked into the ground. " Do you have any idea what the hell you were doing!?"
Justification it was. "Stopping you from making another mistake." She groaned, standing up. "Your last attempt at making a portal caused Homeworld to focus on us. Do you really think opening another is in your best interest?"
"Oh fuck off, bird lady, you tried to break time just a few weeks ago, you don't have anyone's best interest in mind!" Boscha shouted as a wave of fire was blasted at her.
"I do!!! I wasn't about to let Lucifer's life be in danger-!"
"Then stop Belos, or stop Homeworld! Leave the portal to us and screw off!" A bubble slammed her into the ground, along with plants which acted as chains.
" Lucifer, if you would just stop and listen to reason for a minute-"
"We have families to get back to! Not just me, you pompous bird nose moron! Amity, Willow, Gus, you've been keeping them as well as me away from our home! Our families could be dead for all we know, and you don't care a single shit about it!"
"Maybe it's better off if the woman that took you away was GONE!" There was nothing but silence from everyone there.
The boy's eyes began to flicker into a diamond shape. " You're dead…you die…RIGHT NOW!"He rushed forward, breaking her spear and grabbing her gem … and squeezed.
Crack
"Ste-ste-"
"Get it through your head already!" He glowed as he pounded her head against the door of the cabin.
Crack
He continu-squeeze-pain-agony- Faulty. Malfunction. Error. Damage. Eyes gone, voice broken, gem breaking.
" Steven universe doesn't exist!" Crack. "You're chasing after someone that isn't there because you can't get over yourself!" Pound
Gone, gone, she was gone, on the brink of shatter, soon to vanish from the world as something bright flashed behind her.
"Lucci, the door, you're doing something to the glyphs!"
"So do the world a favor for once, and go…to…HELL!"
SHATTER
…. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!