Word Count: 2,708 Words
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Upon entering Shrek Academy and crossing the shimmering, sunlit waves of Sea God Lake, Ling Bai set foot on Sea God Island. He was immediately greeted by a conspicuously large sign with four crooked words scrawled across the wood:
Men Left, Women Right.
'What games are they playing…'
Ling Bai stared speechlessly at the sign, then stubbornly lifted his foot to head right.
"Stop right there! Ignoring the warning sign, are you!"
A grumbling, white-bearded elder descended from the sky, cursing under his breath.
"It's been a while, Elder Li. I trust you've been well," Ling Bai greeted with a smile.
The newcomer was Elder Li, the former head of Shrek's Surveillance Pavilion and the Inner Courtyard Assessment Hall. He beamed at the sight of Ling Bai, but then he remembered his duties and hastily tucked away his toothy grin, forcing on a stern, impartial scowl.
"Same as always. Don't try to butter me up, boy. These next two days are for the Sea God Fated Blind Date Festival. Men and women are to be separated, so go to your proper side."
Ling Bai had entered Shrek's Inner Courtyard at age eleven. Although a year and a half of training in the Star Dou Forest and two years in Mingdu had kept him away, he remained intimately familiar with the academy's customs.
Around this time each year, the Inner Courtyard held its largest group event: the Sea God Fated Blind Date Festival.
On the eve of the festival, male and female students were separated for what was euphemistically called "Singles' Night."
Since Elder Li had deigned to act as a human searchlight, Ling Bai could hardly storm into the women's area. He changed course toward the men's section on the island's western side.
The Inner Courtyard's male students had gathered along the lakeshore for a barbecue. White smoke curled upward as sparks danced from the logs, and the aroma of roasting meat carried for miles. Two large barrels of wine sat open nearby, free for the taking.
"Help me analyze this, guys. Two years ago, I told a senior sister I'd broken through to Rank 60, and she actually smiled at me. Does that mean she likes me?"
By one of the bonfires, Chu Qingtian rubbed his hands together like a fly. His three 'dog-headed' advisors—Yao Haoxuan, Gongyang Mo, and Chen Zifeng—listened and nodded sagely, thumping their chests:
"She's totally crushing on you!"
"She could have just brushed you off, but she chose to smile!"
"Hesitation leads to defeat! Act decisively and you'll never come back empty-handed!"
"Confidence is a man's greatest weapon!"
The three advisors each shouted louder than the last. Under their encouragement, the woman in question had apparently reached the point where she couldn't live without Chu Qingtian, where a single day apart felt like three autumns of separation.
Chu Qingtian was so thoroughly bamboozled he resembled a dazed goose. "So... what do I do tomorrow?"
The three exchanged a glance and chuckled. "Just listen to your brothers. Confess directly, and you'll definitely win the beauty's heart!"
"Since when did you three become love gurus?"
A clear voice sounded from above their heads. They looked up instinctively to see a familiar, handsome face and immediately leaped to their feet in excitement.
"Ling-ge! / Adoptive Father!"
Ling Bai had always been close with this group, including Chen Zifeng, who had been eliminated from the official Shrek Seven Monsters. They often sparred and discussed the way of the sword together.
After exchanging pleasantries, Ling Bai turned to Chu Qingtian. "Finally ready to confess?"
At those words, Chu Qingtian instantly clenched his buttocks. The girl he liked was considered an active volcano by the other students; one wrong word and she would erupt. Everyone else avoided her like the plague.
For some reason, however, he had fallen for that exact kind of strong personality.
"Senior Sister hasn't found a boyfriend all these years, so I want to give it a shot. Ling-ge, do you think I have a chance?"
He sounded genuinely anxious. In front of that girl, his Spirit Emperor cultivation felt utterly inadequate, and he desperately needed encouragement.
"The Sea God Fated Blind Date Festival exists for Inner Courtyard students to showcase their abilities and boldly pursue the ones they admire."
Ling Bai said. "She likes people who charge forward without hesitation. Don't be timid. Be decisive, whether it works out or not."
"Okay!"
Chu Qingtian's eyes blazed with newfound fire. He would risk it all. The little kitten would climb the active volcano!
Ling Bai picked up a meat skewer and savored the bloom of succulent juices and carefully prepared seasonings on his tongue. He chatted casually:
"What about you guys? Still single?"
Yao Haoxuan instantly deflated like a punctured balloon. He pointed at Chen Zifeng and Gongyang Mo and said through gritted teeth, "Chen Zifeng is with Xi Xi now, and Gongyang Mo...
That guy swings both ways!"
Chen Zifeng offered a bashful smile, while Gongyang Mo flicked his long hair disdainfully. "Peasant, that's called charm that transcends gender!"
Yao Haoxuan looked ready to cry. "I'm twenty-four years old and I haven't even held a girl's hand!
Love has condemned me to a lifetime of solitude, and I'm not even allowed to fight back!"
The others couldn't help but burst out laughing. As one of the official Shrek Seven Monsters, Yao Haoxuan's talent and strength were undeniable, but his monkey-like appearance was a real handicap.
The male-to-female ratio in the Inner Courtyard was severely unbalanced; there were too many wolves and not enough sheep. Moreover, the female students were all geniuses among geniuses with extraordinarily high standards for their partners. Yao Haoxuan was naturally left out.
Yao Haoxuan declared resentfully, "I'm going to find a partner too! You all just watch me at the Sea God Fated Blind Date Festival tomorrow!"
With that, he dashed to the wine barrels, poured a glass, and offered it fawningly to Ling Bai. "Adoptive Father, you're the biggest player among us. Share some of your wisdom!"
"What?!"
Ling Bai nearly spat out his wine. "Hold on, where did this 'player' nonsense come from?"
"Stop pretending, Adoptive Father! Your reputation as a scumbag is known throughout the entire Inner Courtyard!"
Chu Qingtian, Gongyang Mo, and Chen Zifeng all nodded in fervent agreement.
Chu Qingtian elaborated, "Ling-ge, you probably don't know this, but after you disappeared on that surveillance assignment, Senior Sister Han wanted to rush straight to Jialing City, Xiaotao dragged in the Hongchen siblings for interrogation, Dugu Lin wanted to execute those two, and Ling Luochen quietly voiced her support..."
Chen Zifeng said gloomily, "If you claim there's nothing ambiguous between you and all of them, you could beat me to death and I still wouldn't believe it."
Gongyang Mo twirled his wrist elegantly. "Right now, your reputation among the female students ranks only above Ye Liu, who keeps eight mistresses. You've secured a solid second-to-last place."
"How tragic. In just two years, my reputation has crumbled to ruins."
Ling Bai sipped his wine and closed his eyes, quietly savoring the gentle caress of the damp evening breeze against his face. His tone betrayed neither regret nor pity.
"You bet! Nowadays, before new female students even start at the Inner Courtyard, the senior sisters specifically warn them: spit on Ye Liu and stay far away from Ling Bai. One's a lecherous fiend, the other only flirts but never commits—an ultimate scumbag."
Yao Haoxuan stood on tiptoe, slung an arm around Ling Bai's shoulder, and whispered, "Adoptive Father, just teach me a trick or two! Just enough to finally shake off my single status!"
"Girls don't care what type of 100,000-year spirit bone it is."
Ling Bai spoke so casually that Yao Haoxuan nearly choked on his own breath. A 100,000-year spirit bone was a national treasure!
Most Inner Courtyard students didn't even possess a single 10,000-year one!
Yet you casually mention 100,000-year spirit bones?!
Why not eat meat porridge!
[TL/N: "Why not eat meat porridge?" A famous quote attributed to Emperor Hui of Jin, who, when told the people had no rice to eat, asked why they didn't eat meat porridge instead.]
"I can't afford to learn that. I'd better stay single." Yao Haoxuan immediately abandoned the depressing topic.
"Ling-ge, who do you plan to choose at the Sea God Fated Blind Date Festival?" Chu Qingtian asked curiously.
"Hmm, good question..."
Ling Bai fell into contemplation. "Is skipping an option?"
"This year's festival was delayed specifically for you and the exchange students. Your name's already on the list. Unless you suddenly drop dead, you're not getting out of it," Gongyang Mo teased.
"Can I choose them all?"
"How bold! Shrek promotes monogamy!"
That brilliant solution was shot down instantly by Chen Zifeng. Ling Bai groaned, massaging his temples.
This is bad. This storm is aimed squarely at me!
A Shura Field—ten thousand times more terrifying than the Asura God!
...
On the east side of Sea God Island, the women's area.
The Inner Courtyard's female students gathered in small groups, sampling delicacies prepared by Shrek Academy's master chefs, sipping rose-colored wine, and admiring the moonlit lake.
Zhang Lexuan, Han Ruoruo, Wu Ming, and Hua Yao, the four most senior female students, were naturally clustered together.
Han Ruoruo seemed to have something on her mind, downing glass after glass of wine. Even when her pretty face flushed crimson, she didn't stop, continuing to pour and drink.
"Sister Ruoruo, are you trying to become the god of wine?" Wu Ming asked in surprise.
The Han Ruoruo she knew advocated moderation in all things and would never indulge like this.
"Someone has returned, and Ruoruo's heart is in turmoil."
Zhang Lexuan swirled the deep red liquid in her glass, cutting straight to the heart of the matter.
Wu Ming immediately understood and bristled with indignation on her friend's behalf. "What's so great about him anyway? Sure, he's handsome, talented, strong, has a powerful background, a good personality, and is generous...
But that's all!"
Hua Yao blinked. "Ming'er... are you sure that's just 'all'?"
Wu Ming paused, then snorted. "Even if he's the best in the world, he can't bully Ruoruo! Yaoyao, I think your relationship with Gu Fan is what real love looks like, gradually growing closer to each other. I heard you're planning to make it official at the festival."
"Mm."
Hua Yao's face turned rosy. She and Gu Fan were both introverted; though they had grown close, neither had formally confessed. They had resolved to fully accept each other at the Sea God Fated Blind Date Festival.
"Ruoruo, constantly running from your feelings won't help."
Zhang Lexuan stepped forward and gently took Han Ruoruo's wine glass, speaking earnestly. "He's about to graduate from Shrek and return to the Nine Treasure Glazed Tile Clan. He'll rarely have opportunities to visit after that.
If you truly can't let him go, then express your feelings. Whether you succeed or fail, at least you'll have tried. You won't find yourself looking back on this night years from now with your heart full of nothing but regret."
Han Ruoruo lowered her gaze, still visibly conflicted. Her flushed face held a captivating charm as she bit her red lip, her eyes lost and confused:
"Lexuan, I understand everything you're saying.
All these years, he's the only one who's ever entered my heart. After meeting him, my life became so much more vibrant, and I feel like... I might have a place in his heart, too.
But I'm not young anymore. I'm more than ten years older than him. And he's a disciple of the Nine Treasure Glazed Tile Clan, which undoubtedly has high expectations for him.
Judging by their customs over the last ten thousand years, exceptionally talented Assault Spirit Masters from the outside are typically paired with their direct-lineage Seven Treasure Glazed Tile Pagoda Spirit Masters.
I'm one hundred percent certain the wife they've chosen for him is the next Clan Head, Junior Sister Ning Tian.
Those two were childhood sweethearts and share a deep bond. When she joined the exchange program, he left Shrek to accompany her in Mingdu for two years. That's the best proof there is—proof that they've accepted each other in their hearts.
He has found his happiness. If I insert myself now, I'll only cause him trouble and make him think his Elder Sister lacks propriety. It's better to just let it be. Perhaps time will wash everything away."
Hua Yao sighed softly. Witnessing Han Ruoruo's sadness firsthand made her both sympathetic and increasingly appreciative of Gu Fan. Perhaps not being exceptionally outstanding had its own benefits; simple, peaceful happiness was its own kind of blessing.
"Sister Ruoruo, pull yourself together!"
Wu Ming yanked Han Ruoruo to her feet, jutting her chin toward a fiery red figure stretching in the distance. "You overthink everything and spoil him too much! If he dares to have impure thoughts about you, he should face the consequences of being a scumbag!
Look at Ma Xiaotao over there. Her posture makes it clear she's preparing for a big fight!
Tomorrow is a blind date festival, not a wedding ceremony!
So what if you fail? It's better than bottling up your feelings!
It's true that Shrek advocates monogamy, but the mainstream belief on the continent is that only the strong deserve more. He hooked up with several girls in his short time in the Inner Courtyard. He's definitely not some pure, chaste man.
I'll admit that scumbag is indeed capable. If you show him how you feel and he's greedy enough, he might even actively pursue you and clear the path for you to be together.
Sister Ruoruo, toughen up!
Don't feel sorry for him. Scumbags deserve what they get!"
The flames in Han Ruoruo's dark eyes rekindled. Wu Ming was right. The Sea God Festival was a platform to express one's feelings. She just needed to tell Ling Bai, 'You are in my heart.' The future of their relationship would depend on his choice.
If, after knowing her feelings, he still decided to settle down with only Ning Tian, she would restrain her emotions and offer her blessing. But if Ling Bai decided to reach for her, then he would be the one to resolve things with Ning Tian and make the future head of the Nine Treasure Glazed Tile Clan accept that she wasn't the only one.
"It seems Ruoruo has made her decision."
Zhang Lexuan's gaze was warm. She somehow envied Han Ruoruo, because she and Ling Bai had developed mutual feelings. The library, cafeteria, Shrek City... so many places held the traces of their shared footsteps.
As for her, the Big Senior Sister of the Inner Courtyard, her own love story had long since ended.
"Enough about me. What about you, Ming'er?"
Han Ruoruo had recovered her spirits and began to tease Wu Ming. "You're always talking about finding a boyfriend. Why haven't we seen any action?"
Wu Ming cupped her face. "Those guys have no taste! This Golden Crow Holy Lady has the looks and the figure, yet not a single one dares to pursue me!"
"That's not true. There's someone who's constantly circling around you," Han Ruoruo hinted.
"Chu Qingtian?"
Wu Ming waved a dismissive hand. "Every time he comes to see me, he trembles like a frightened quail. Besides, he only ever asks me about cultivation."
Zhang Lexuan, Han Ruoruo, and Hua Yao exchanged a look, suddenly understanding perfectly why Wu Ming was still single. Her fiery, irritable personality was one factor, but being an armchair general was another.
She could analyze others' relationships with remarkable insight, yet when it came to her own, she was completely oblivious.
A true strategist who never sets foot on the battlefield!
"Ruoruo, Ming'er, Yaoyao, shall we make a wager?" Zhang Lexuan proposed.
"What kind of wager?" Hua Yao inquired softly.
Han Ruoruo and Wu Ming perked up their ears as well.
Zhang Lexuan smiled. "During the festival, all the girls wear bamboo hats to conceal their faces. There's a segment where the boys try their best to remove them. If a certain boy manages to take your hat, then during the 'girls choose boys' segment, you must select him..."
"You're on!"